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9 Toxic Habits To Get Rid Of In 2016

9 Toxic Habits To Get Rid Of In 2016

Each start of a new year is a chance for us to become better people. It’s good for us to turn back and make firm decisions about the things we don’t want to do any more. So, one New Year’s resolution everyone should adopt is leaving toxic habits in the past – where they do belong.

1. Dwelling on Past

There’s no point in wondering what could have, should have and would have been if you had done something differently. Dealing with regrets isn’t simple, but the sooner you realize that you can’t do anything about it, the happier you’ll be. If there’s something you actually can change or if there are amends you want to make, then put yourself out there and do it. If not, leave things just the way they currently are and find a way to finally make peace with them.

2. Indulging In Toxic Relationships

There’s one pretty harsh truth we should all face – some relationships can’t be fixed. People who have a hard time dealing with strong emotions will find it harder to accept this, but when you do your life will get so much easier.

Deciding to finally remove someone from your life is incredibly hard, but if you’re sure that you’ll have a healthier and happier life afterwards, you should definitely do it. Besides, decisions like this build character, and starting a year with something like this sounds promising – who knows what else you’ll be capable of doing.

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3. Looking For Excuses

There’s no such thing as too late, too old or too tired – those are just things people say when they lack in motivation, will and inspiration – excuses, if you will. You can let all adventures pass you by because you’d prefer to stay in your bed, or you can actually get up and start living.

You shouldn’t allow something insignificant like excuses to stand in the way of you feeling better about yourself. The very next time you’re feeling too lazy to go to the gym or too tired to have a cup of coffee with a friend, ignore those limits you put by yourself.

4. Trying To Fit In

A lot of people out there spend their whole lives trying to figure out where they belong. It’s an endless quest, really, because you don’t find a place – you create it. And the sooner you realize that, the faster you can start working on it. You are in charge of your life and you can make a surrounding you find pleasing. A new year is a new start, and you can build everything from scratch.

5. Being Hard on Yourself

For most people, life doesn’t turn out exactly how they expect it to, and that’s one harsh truth that’s pretty difficult to cope with. And I don’t mean that everyone isn’t meant to have their “happily ever after”, just that, sometimes, that ending isn’t the version we hoped for.

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Is that necessarily a bad thing? As time passes us by, we continue to strive towards some old aspirations without even stopping to reevaluate them and make sure that these wishes are still something we sincerely want. Stop for a moment and think about what you want, and stop being hard on yourself because of some things that never happened.

6. Accumulating Debts

Most people feel like they are carrying a physical burden when they owe money, no matter the amount. The fact is you don’t want to drag these shackles with you in the New Year, so should probably put your best effort into getting rid of your debt.

This is the right time to sit down, put all the numbers on a piece of paper and calculate your way out of debt. You can pick up a part-time job or do extra shifts on your current one. Sure, you won’t get any sleep or have a social life for a month or two, but it will be worth it.

7. Keeping Lousy Sleep Habits

Not enough attention is paid to our sleeping habits, although we all spend a third of our life sleeping. And as far as I’m concerned that’s the most important third because it affects the rest of your day – if you don’t have a good night’s sleep, you won’t have enough energy or will to go through your schedule.

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However, you should know that going to bed early won’t do it. Everything you do affects the quality of your sleep, so you need to improve your eating habits, finally start exercising and quit bad habits like smoking.

8. Letting Fear Eat Away At You

The world isn’t a scary place – everything you’re afraid of is in your mind. Spending your days behind locked doors or avoiding people because they might hurt you isn’t living, but surviving. Living a fulfilled life means you need to get yourself out there.

Fears are deeply rooted into our subconsciousness, and dealing with them requires professional help in most cases, and you shouldn’t hesitate to ask for it. You should explore different kinds of therapies and find a suitable one – perhaps just an open conversation with a neutral party can make a significant difference.

9. Keeping Old And Unusable Things

The fact is we all get emotionally connected to objects – they become a material version of our memories. As time goes by, we tend to stock up on various items that have a meaning to us and which are completely unusable.

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A selection needs to be made here, because you need to make room for new things in your life. No matter if it’s clothes or souvenirs, you need to face the fact that those things are only making a clutter in your life. Besides, all those memories will always have their place in your mind.

It sounds difficult, I know. Who knew that getting rid of things could be this overwhelming? But if this is what keeps you from being happy, you shouldn’t give it a second thought. In the end, I’d like to wish you good luck in 2016.

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Nemanja Manojlovic

Editor at MyCity Web

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Last Updated on April 14, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

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5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

Reference

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