“I wonder how many people don’t get the one they want, but end up with the one they’re supposed to be with.” – Fannie Flagg
Like Fannie rightly puts above, love is always found and for those who don’t get the ones they had found, there is always someone better for them. While also defining love in its profoundness, some like to relate it with compatibility while others do with commonality. Quite frequently though, common interests play a very vital role in making the bond strong and understanding each other better.
This article here presents to you a list of such amazing things that only couples with common interests can experience.
1. They are more understanding during the difficult times.
For couples sharing a common career interest, for example lawyers or engineers, the partners can better understand the hard times that one has to go through and the struggle to even earn for living.
The partners also understand how hectic the work can get and be easy with the tough schedule of their partner or might even get one theirself according to their routine. It’s something like having your lover also as your best friend.Advertising
These understandings do not only play a motivational role but also the couples can work as an assistant for each other by being of some good help during difficult times.
2. They have perfect holidays and weekends.
For couples having similar favorite adventures or hobbies, they can spend their holidays and weekends with all the fun and excitement.
Imagine both partners crazy about cycling, rock climbing or even travelling. They can spend their holidays or weekends without having to compromise each other’s interest. They can help each other with something they know well about f.e. a sport and foster their love in their mutual love for the game.
These experiences that they together gain can help them better explore into the persona of each other. In this way, both can better realize the weaker and stronger aspects of each other.
3. They always have something to share together.
Generally, the couples having common interests have more common topics to talk about and share ideas on. Their similar choices that could range from sports to academic fields, keeps them engaged in a conversation that they both love to have.Advertising
They can have a good dinner table talk, visit a theatre because they both love to or maybe keep dancing to some music. Having topics of similar interest not only helps the couples have a good conversation but it also interestingly keeps them thinking of their partner whenever something related comes across them.
4. They know the personality of their partner better.
Such couples generally get to spend more time together than other couples because they have so many things in common. Just as mentioned above, such couples can spend their holidays doing something that both of them love.
While spending more time together, the partners get the chance to learn more about the inner personhood of their partner. These learnings can be really helpful in deciding how to handle the relationship in a matured way. Understanding each other’s personality is not only important in making the relationship last for a longer time but also helps both of them live happily together.
5. They have personal growth within the same space.
Relationships play a significant role in motivating people to achieve their goals. In a relationship, when both the partners share similar interests, one can assist the other grow not only career wise but also as a person in whole.
The couples can learn from each other and even struggle or live through the hard times together. Each of them can work as a helping hand to the other, in a way helping both grow in a common way. With all these motivational factors and their working together to achieve the common goal, efforts from two should definitely bring better fruits.Advertising
6. They create unforgettable memories together.
In a relationship when both the partners have attraction, interest or love for a common thing, they tend to explore such things. This will not only make the couples content with their relationship but also helps them create unforgettable memories.
For someone loving extreme sports or simply travelling, what could be better than to have a partner having the same interests who would love to accompany them on such adventures? What in fact a person loves to recall as memories are the good moments that have passed away.
7. They have expert’s opinion when needed.
Interestingly, for couples having common interests, one can guide the other in times of difficulty or confusion. One can play the role of an expert and deliver good advice at times of need because of their earlier experiences on the subject, which is quite common for people with common interests.
This however, will also make the partners dependent on each other or in another sense respect each other for their support, which in turn gives rise to the feeling of being compatible with each other. One can also learn from the mistakes of the other. These traits are very essential for enduring relationships with the partners assisting each other in times of trouble with solutions they really know about.
8. They have a long-lasting relationship.
The couples sharing common interests understand each other’s troubles better, always have something to share with each other and get to spend lots of time together, all of which we have already discussed in the article.Advertising
Interestingly, these characteristics lead to a much stronger bond because both the partners feel connected, attracted and loving towards each other exactly because of their common interests.
These traits really help in making the relation more beautiful and lasting for a longer time. With many things in common and a better understanding of each other, the partners love spending more time with each other. This helps them create a life-long bond.
Featured photo credit: Couple holding hands in Kauai via commons.wikimedia.org
Last Updated on August 6, 2020
6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak
We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.
“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill
Are we speaking the same language?
My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.
When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.
Am I being lazy?
When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”
Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:
Early in the relationship:
“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”
When the relationship is established:
“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”
It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.
Have I actually got anything to say?
When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”
A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.
When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.
Am I painting an accurate picture?
One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?
How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.
Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.
What words am I using?
It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.
Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.
Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.
Is the map really the territory?
Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.
A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.
I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…