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8 Amazing Things Only Couples With Common Interests Can Experience

8 Amazing Things Only Couples With Common Interests Can Experience

“I wonder how many people don’t get the one they want, but end up with the one they’re supposed to be with.” – Fannie Flagg

Like Fannie rightly puts above, love is always found and for those who don’t get the ones they had found, there is always someone better for them. While also defining love in its profoundness, some like to relate it with compatibility while others do with commonality. Quite frequently though, common interests play a very vital role in making the bond strong and understanding each other better.

This article here presents to you a list of such amazing things that only couples with common interests can experience.

1. They are more understanding during the difficult times.

For couples sharing a common career interest, for example lawyers or engineers, the partners can better understand the hard times that one has to go through and the struggle to even earn for living.

The partners also understand how hectic the work can get and be easy with the tough schedule of their partner or might even get one theirself according to their routine. It’s something like having your lover also as your best friend.

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These understandings do not only play a motivational role but also the couples can work as an assistant for each other by being of some good help during difficult times.

2. They have perfect holidays and weekends.

For couples having similar favorite adventures or hobbies, they can spend their holidays and weekends with all the fun and excitement.

Imagine both partners crazy about cycling, rock climbing or even travelling. They can spend their holidays or weekends without having to compromise each other’s interest. They can help each other with something they know well about f.e. a sport and foster their love in their mutual love for the game.

These experiences that they together gain can help them better explore into the persona of each other. In this way, both can better realize the weaker and stronger aspects of each other.

3. They always have something to share together.

Generally, the couples having common interests have more common topics to talk about and share ideas on. Their similar choices that could range from sports to academic fields, keeps them engaged in a conversation that they both love to have.

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They can have a good dinner table talk, visit a theatre because they both love to or maybe keep dancing to some music. Having topics of similar interest not only helps the couples have a good conversation but it also interestingly keeps them thinking of their partner whenever something related comes across them.

4. They know the personality of their partner better.

Such couples generally get to spend more time together than other couples because they have so many things in common. Just as mentioned above, such couples can spend their holidays doing something that both of them love.

While spending more time together, the partners get the chance to learn more about the inner personhood of their partner. These learnings can be really helpful in deciding how to handle the relationship in a matured way. Understanding each other’s personality is not only important in making the relationship last for a longer time but also helps both of them live happily together.

5. They have personal growth within the same space.

Relationships play a significant role in motivating people to achieve their goals. In a relationship, when both the partners share similar interests, one can assist the other grow not only career wise but also as a person in whole.

The couples can learn from each other and even struggle or live through the hard times together. Each of them can work as a helping hand to the other, in a way helping both grow in a common way. With all these motivational factors and their working together to achieve the common goal, efforts from two should definitely bring better fruits.

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6. They create unforgettable memories together.

In a relationship when both the partners have attraction, interest or love for a common thing, they tend to explore such things. This will not only make the couples content with their relationship but also helps them create unforgettable memories.

For someone loving extreme sports or simply travelling, what could be better than to have a partner having the same interests who would love to accompany them on such adventures? What in fact a person loves to recall as memories are the good moments that have passed away.

7. They have expert’s opinion when needed.

Interestingly, for couples having common interests, one can guide the other in times of difficulty or confusion. One can play the role of an expert and deliver good advice at times of need because of their earlier experiences on the subject, which is quite common for people with common interests.

This however, will also make the partners dependent on each other or in another sense respect each other for their support, which in turn gives rise to the feeling of being compatible with each other. One can also learn from the mistakes of the other. These traits are very essential for enduring relationships with the partners assisting each other in times of trouble with solutions they really know about.

8. They have a long-lasting relationship.

The couples sharing common interests understand each other’s troubles better, always have something to share with each other and get to spend lots of time together, all of which we have already discussed in the article.

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Interestingly, these characteristics lead to a much stronger bond because both the partners feel connected, attracted and loving towards each other exactly because of their common interests.

These traits really help in making the relation more beautiful and lasting for a longer time. With many things in common and a better understanding of each other, the partners love spending more time with each other. This helps them create a life-long bond.

Featured photo credit: Couple holding hands in Kauai via commons.wikimedia.org

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Nabin Paudyal

Co-Founder, Siplikan Media Group

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Published on April 7, 2021

6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

Some of the most manipulative people are so good at what they do that their words and actions can convince you into thinking they truly care about what’s best for you when in reality, it’s quite the opposite. The most common signs of a controlling person are rarely obvious to outside observers. And for someone enmeshed in a controlling relationship or friendship, it can be incredibly challenging to stay away from this toxic person, even if you’re aware of their emotionally abusive tendencies.

While it’s ultimately up to you to decide whether to preserve or leave a lopsided, unfulfilling relationship, it’s nevertheless critical to understand the following six signs of controlling people so you can better advocate for yourself and mitigate the influence of their manipulative tendencies in your own life.

1. They Push Their Own Personal Agenda

Do you know someone who always tries to micromanage the words, behaviors, and attitudes of people around them? Does this person act like they have the right to know anything they want about you, including your location, what you’re doing in a given moment, who you’re talking to online, or any other private information about you? And when planning events and special occasions, does this person dominate conversations, steer plans in their own preferred directions, disparage others’ suggestions, and refuse to collaborate with anyone who might disagree with them?

If you answered “yes” to some of the above questions, then those are clear signs of a controlling person whom you absolutely need to be cautious around. Controlling people are reluctant to even consider alternative ideas, let alone enthusiastically work with people who have differing views. They prefer to be the captain of every ship—regardless of how much or how little an issue personally impacts them—and they have an arsenal of manipulative tactics to deploy if someone stands in the way of them achieving their own personal agendas.

In long-term relationships with controlling people, you may feel constantly pressured to meet their demands, follow their schedule, and focus on whatever they feel is most important. It’s not an exaggeration to say that these people act like the universe revolves around them, which can be exhausting to deal with for their family members, friends, and colleagues.

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2. They Make Everything Transactional

Controlling people aren’t always self-centered, but they’re not too empathetic either. Empathy for them tends to appear in the form of strategic concessions they use as a means to get what they want. They typically view interpersonal relationships as transactional opportunities to extract more value from people surrounding them, which can have a draining effect on those they interact with.

For example, one sign of a controlling person may be their insistence on “keeping score.” This can involve doing nice things for you with the ulterior motive of demanding something from you at a later date in exchange for what you thought was just an act of kindness or a friendly support.

Perhaps they shower you in praise (also known as “love-bombing”) or gifts then blow up at you if you don’t intuitively know they’re expecting something back from you. None of us are mind-readers, but controlling people behave as though everyone else should think and act like they want others to and those who fall out of line are punished for failing to meet their impossible expectations.

A controlling person may also threaten to withhold support if you don’t adhere to their demands, but they do so in such subtle ways that the guilt they impose blinds you from the unreasonable nature of their behaviors.

Some statements to be wary of include:

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  • “I did ___________ for you. What do you mean you can’t do ___________ for me?”
  • “Remember how I helped you with ___________? That took a lot of time and energy from me, but I guess you didn’t appreciate my help.”
  • “I always give you ___________. Don’t you care about my needs too?”
  • “You’re so selfish!” or “You don’t care about me at all!” (gaslighting if you respond with hesitation or politely decline their request for help for perfectly valid reasons, such as not having enough time or resources to assist them)

3. They Criticize Everything

One of the most common telltale signs of a controlling person is their capacity to criticize anything and everything, even small things that seemingly don’t matter. As with many toxic traits in relationships, these problems typically start out so small that you may not even notice. At first, you may even agree with their criticism or at least be able to understand their perspective when they bring up an issue.

However, the criticism tends to get more intense, more constant, and more perplexing for people who maintain relationships with controlling people. You’ll likely notice how they rarely seem to criticize something they do. It’s almost always other-oriented and these types of people are so manipulative that any rationale they offer can seem plausibly legitimate.

Some warning signs of a controlling person who’s overly critical to the point of abusiveness include:

  • Criticizing things about you that you have little to no control over (e.g., appearance, disability, family)
  • Criticizing your personal choices and interests, such as educational pursuits, career, clothing, favorite music, time spent on your hobbies, etc.
  • Punishing you for expressing vulnerability by invalidating thoughts and feelings you share with them
  • Attacking you whenever you express an opinion counter to theirs

4. They Balk When Someone Criticizes Them

We all know the adage, “what goes around, comes around.” But this statement doesn’t apply as much to toxic, controlling people. They’d much prefer to dish out criticism without ever having to take it in return.

For instance, if your friend constantly talks about your appearance with little regard for your emotions but flips out if you make just a single comment about their appearance, there’s a possibility that they could have some hidden controlling tendencies left unchecked. Remember, these people aren’t just controlling in their behaviors towards others. They’re also actively trying to stay in complete control over every aspect of their lives, which includes how others view them.

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This seemingly insatiable desire for control can prompt them to lash out against even the smallest bits of criticism, leaving people around them too weary or scared to speak up again in the future. While it’s possible they may suffer from something called rejection sensitivity dysphoria, this does not excuse them from the consequences of their words and actions. They should seek professional help to better manage their reactions to criticism.

5. They Socially Isolate You

Not all controlling people do this, but for manipulative narcissists, socially isolating victims is a go-to strategy for maintaining control because it’s effective at preventing people from truly understanding how toxic their partner, family member, or friend is treating them. Think of it this way—if you don’t talk to many other people in your life, there’s less of a risk that you’ll damage their reputation by revealing their abusive tendencies.

Socially isolating others also gives the person more control over you and your life as it becomes more difficult to break away from them if you don’t have other healthier channels of communication and interpersonal support to turn to.

This process doesn’t happen overnight, nor is it something you can readily recognize as abusive. At first, it may seem reasonable, such as asking you to stop engaging so often with family members with whom both of you disagree on major social or political issues. As the social isolation progresses, they may suggest cutting people out of your life—especially if they don’t like that person, regardless of how you personally feel—or even conjure up high-stakes problems like “it’s me or them” under the guise of saving you from people in your life whom they don’t like for whatever reason.

In a controlling person’s life narrative, they’re always the protagonist who’s incapable of any wrongdoing. The blame is always redirected at someone else, whether that’s you or other people in your life. The more they isolate you from other supportive people in your life, the more susceptible you’ll be to falsely believing that they’re right and you “don’t need” your other friends and family when you have someone as perfect as this person.

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6. They’re Emotionally Abusive

It’s hard enough to be in control of your own emotions but when someone else is constantly belittling you and your interests or leveraging guilt and shame to manipulate you into saying or doing what they want, this can make it even more challenging to stay in control of your own life and emotional well-being.

Emotional abuse is another sign of a controlling person that is often overlooked in relationships. After all, human personalities vary widely in terms of passivity, and it’s not uncommon for one person in a relationship to be significantly more passive than the other. This becomes an issue when the controlling partner or friend exudes signs of emotional abuse, which can start subtly and become much more pronounced over time.

Concerning signs of emotionally abusive language or behavior to watch out for include:

  • Dismissing your needs and/or belittling your interests in counterproductive ways
  • Privately or publicly shaming or humiliating you
  • Making you feel as though you can never live up to their expectations or do anything right (according to their own vague, subjective standards)
  • Gaslighting you into thinking they said or did something that never actually happened (making you question your own reality)

Final Thoughts

It’s sometimes hard to see the negative things about someone with whom we have a relationship. We may sometimes unconsciously overlook the signs of a controlling person, especially if that person is someone we have known for a long time or are close to us. However, cutting them off your life is the best thing you can do for yourself. Just watch out for these six signs of a controlling person and take immediate action when you spot them.

More Tips on How To Deal With a Controlling Person

Featured photo credit: Külli Kittus via unsplash.com

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