“I wonder how many people don’t get the one they want, but end up with the one they’re supposed to be with.” – Fannie Flagg
Like Fannie rightly puts above, love is always found and for those who don’t get the ones they had found, there is always someone better for them. While also defining love in its profoundness, some like to relate it with compatibility while others do with commonality. Quite frequently though, common interests play a very vital role in making the bond strong and understanding each other better.
This article here presents to you a list of such amazing things that only couples with common interests can experience.
1. They are more understanding during the difficult times.
For couples sharing a common career interest, for example lawyers or engineers, the partners can better understand the hard times that one has to go through and the struggle to even earn for living.
The partners also understand how hectic the work can get and be easy with the tough schedule of their partner or might even get one theirself according to their routine. It’s something like having your lover also as your best friend.Advertising
These understandings do not only play a motivational role but also the couples can work as an assistant for each other by being of some good help during difficult times.
2. They have perfect holidays and weekends.
For couples having similar favorite adventures or hobbies, they can spend their holidays and weekends with all the fun and excitement.
Imagine both partners crazy about cycling, rock climbing or even travelling. They can spend their holidays or weekends without having to compromise each other’s interest. They can help each other with something they know well about f.e. a sport and foster their love in their mutual love for the game.
These experiences that they together gain can help them better explore into the persona of each other. In this way, both can better realize the weaker and stronger aspects of each other.
3. They always have something to share together.
Generally, the couples having common interests have more common topics to talk about and share ideas on. Their similar choices that could range from sports to academic fields, keeps them engaged in a conversation that they both love to have.Advertising
They can have a good dinner table talk, visit a theatre because they both love to or maybe keep dancing to some music. Having topics of similar interest not only helps the couples have a good conversation but it also interestingly keeps them thinking of their partner whenever something related comes across them.
4. They know the personality of their partner better.
Such couples generally get to spend more time together than other couples because they have so many things in common. Just as mentioned above, such couples can spend their holidays doing something that both of them love.
While spending more time together, the partners get the chance to learn more about the inner personhood of their partner. These learnings can be really helpful in deciding how to handle the relationship in a matured way. Understanding each other’s personality is not only important in making the relationship last for a longer time but also helps both of them live happily together.
5. They have personal growth within the same space.
Relationships play a significant role in motivating people to achieve their goals. In a relationship, when both the partners share similar interests, one can assist the other grow not only career wise but also as a person in whole.
The couples can learn from each other and even struggle or live through the hard times together. Each of them can work as a helping hand to the other, in a way helping both grow in a common way. With all these motivational factors and their working together to achieve the common goal, efforts from two should definitely bring better fruits.Advertising
6. They create unforgettable memories together.
In a relationship when both the partners have attraction, interest or love for a common thing, they tend to explore such things. This will not only make the couples content with their relationship but also helps them create unforgettable memories.
For someone loving extreme sports or simply travelling, what could be better than to have a partner having the same interests who would love to accompany them on such adventures? What in fact a person loves to recall as memories are the good moments that have passed away.
7. They have expert’s opinion when needed.
Interestingly, for couples having common interests, one can guide the other in times of difficulty or confusion. One can play the role of an expert and deliver good advice at times of need because of their earlier experiences on the subject, which is quite common for people with common interests.
This however, will also make the partners dependent on each other or in another sense respect each other for their support, which in turn gives rise to the feeling of being compatible with each other. One can also learn from the mistakes of the other. These traits are very essential for enduring relationships with the partners assisting each other in times of trouble with solutions they really know about.
8. They have a long-lasting relationship.
The couples sharing common interests understand each other’s troubles better, always have something to share with each other and get to spend lots of time together, all of which we have already discussed in the article.Advertising
Interestingly, these characteristics lead to a much stronger bond because both the partners feel connected, attracted and loving towards each other exactly because of their common interests.
These traits really help in making the relation more beautiful and lasting for a longer time. With many things in common and a better understanding of each other, the partners love spending more time with each other. This helps them create a life-long bond.
Featured photo credit: Couple holding hands in Kauai via commons.wikimedia.org
Last Updated on May 21, 2019
How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship
For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.
If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:
You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.
You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.
In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.
You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.
People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.
You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.
You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.
The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.
You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.
Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.
If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.
Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:
- Understand your own communication style
- Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
- Communicate with precision and care
- Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger
1. Understand Your Communication Style
To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.
In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.
Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.
2. Learn Others Communication Styles
Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.
If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:
“How do you prefer to receive information?”
This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.
To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.
3. Exercise Precision and Care
A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.
On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.
Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.
I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.
I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.
In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.
The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.
Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.
4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger
Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.
In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,
“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”
Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.
Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.
It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.
It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.
It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.
Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.
Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.
The Bottom Line
When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.
I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.
More Articles About Effective Communication
- Conflict Management Styles for Effective Communication at Work
- 13 Best Communication Books for Stronger Social Skills & Relationships
- How to Master Effective Communication Skills at Work and Home
- 7 Most Important Communication Techniques to Master in the Workplace
Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com
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