Advertising
Advertising

6 Lessons From A Year Without Facebook

6 Lessons From A Year Without Facebook

I check my social media feeds often and compulsively. When I wake up, before I got to bed, whenever I sit on a bus, wait in a line, or eat alone. Sometimes, I notice I am scrolling through a feed with no memory of opening the app, or I log out, only to log in again 5 minutes later. Any small moment of boredom is diverted to checking on the lives of my friends.

That is, I did do those things until January 1st 2015, when I quit. For a year. I had read about the increasing number of studies linking social media to stress and depression, and numerous articles about the benefits of quitting. So my New Year’s resolution for 2015 was to give up social media for a year and see the difference for myself.

It didn’t always go smoothly, and sometimes I would find myself idly flicking through updates. I posted on Facebook once to thank people for leaving birthday messages (it seemed very rude not to), and another time to announce that I was eating a quiche during the Super Bowl, which seemed so important at the time, but in retrospect was a moment of defeat.

However, I cut down my use of social media by roughly 98% compared to the year before, and that was good enough to be able to feel the effects. Here’s what I discovered.

1. I had much more free time

As I spent less time on social media, I found myself spending less idle, unconscious time on other websites as well. Without scrolling through all the links to pictures of funny signs, angry articles about politics, and videos of cats falling off things, I didn’t visit other addictive websites and end up in long chains of clicks.

Advertising

I read 40 more books in my year off than I had the previous year, all using time I would otherwise have spent clicking through social media and the links I found there. You don’t have to spend it on reading, but most people would benefit from exchanging at least some of their social media time for something they find more productive or more relaxing. Your fourth visit of the day to Facebook is neither of those things.

2. I was less distracted, and spent much more time taking in my surroundings

There were plenty of instances at bars or coffee shops where a friend would leave the table and I would be briefly alone, suddenly craving my phone. That urge to check in during those moments eventually disappeared and I could absorb the atmosphere of a place or watch the people around me instead, which I found more rewarding.

3. I enjoyed moments more, but missed sharing them later

As I gradually lost the urge to share everything I was doing at the time it was happening, I could better appreciate things for myself. I wasn’t suddenly living perfectly in the moment just because I was absent from social media, but it was a barrier removed. It’s not wrong to want to share the things that have happened in your life, even the small things, but rarely does it have to be right at the time they are going on.

However, because of the rules of my decision, I also lost the opportunity to share with my family and friends the things I was doing after they happened. This year I camped surrounded by wild elephants in Botswana, went sandboarding for the first time, and ate a lot of good sushi. But I didn’t share any of that stuff, just one thing about a quiche.

4. I felt more disconnected, but that made me socialize more

Like many people, I have friends and family spread all over the world, but I don’t know as much about what they have done in the last year. Life without social media was, in some ways, more lonely.

Advertising

On the other hand, I was much more likely to email or call them, and more motivated to go out and do something with my friends who are nearby. Social media is similar enough to genuine social interaction that sometimes it feels like too much effort to make real life arrangements as well, but only connecting through a screen is just not as fulfilling.

It’s like filling up on snacks and then not wanting your dinner.

5. Seeing friends in person was more interesting

My friends were often surprised that I didn’t already know their recent news, and I noticed for the first time how often people’s stories about themselves start with “you probably saw that…”

For the first time in years, people had the opportunity to tell me about their lives and see my reaction in person, instead of rehashing old events I already knew from the internet.

6. I missed small connections

Not using social media took away the opportunities for small interactions, such as likes and comments, and I missed these small connections which aren’t present elsewhere. If someone I knew from college had completed a marathon, or a distant relation passed their driving test, I couldn’t comment to congratulate them, and I wouldn’t have known about it anyway.

Advertising

That’s a whole range of positive social connections which I lost without social media.

How to use social media in a better way

The dangers of social media I had read about were very clear to me because of their absence in my year off, but I also learned to appreciate having platforms which allow us to be more connected to the people we know, wherever they are, and to connect with them in more ways than we had before.

The articles about the downsides often ignore all the good aspects of social media and recommend quitting altogether, but that isn’t what I concluded. They are good tools, we just have to learn how to use them properly.

I never want to go back to checking my Facebook newsfeed 7 times in a day, and I never want to again miss the atmosphere in a restaurant because they have wifi and I can post about it online instead. But after a year without social media, I am ready to return in a more cautious way.

From my battles in quitting for a year, here is my top advice.

Advertising

1. Quit altogether for 30 days

Just one month is enough to see it for yourself — the people in this Danish study noticed a difference in a week — and monitor the changes with a one-line summary each day.

2. Turn off notifications

No one posts on your wall in an emergency, and you don’t need more reminders to log in.

3. Delete the mobile apps

It puts a small barrier in your way, and is the easiest way to cut down. You can still use the web browser on your mobile devices with bit more effort.

4. Limit yourself to one session a day

When you only have one session on social media each day, it is more of a conscious decision. If you feel the compulsion to check again, remember you can tomorrow.

5. Allow yourself to share anything you like, but you have to wait at least 1 hour

You won’t be distracted from the things you are doing when they are going on, but also won’t miss out on sharing them later.

6. Seriously, quit for 30 days

There’s no end of reasons and research to tell you it’s a good idea, and there’s no better way than to find out the difference for yourself.

More by this author

6 Lessons From A Year Without Facebook

Trending in Communication

1 How to Be Patient and Take Charge of Your Life 2 What Is Self-Actualization? 13 Traits of Self-Actualized People 3 5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today 4 5 Warning Signs That You’re a People Pleaser 5 How to Think Positive Thoughts When Feeling Negative

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on December 10, 2019

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

Here’s the truth: your effectiveness at life is not what it could be. You’re missing out.

Each day passes by and you have nothing to prove that it even happened. Did you achieve something? Go on a date? Have an emotional breakthrough? Who knows?

But what you do know is that you don’t want to make the same mistakes that you’ve made in the past.

Our lives are full of hidden gems of knowledge and insight, and the most recent events in our lives contain the most useful gems of all. Do you know why? It’s simple, those hidden lessons are the most up to date, meaning they have the largest impact on what we’re doing right now.

But the question is, how do you get those lessons? There’s a simple way to do it, and it doesn’t involve time machines:

Journal writing.

Advertising

Improved mental clarity, the ability to see our lives in the big picture, as well as serving as a piece of evidence cataloguing every success we’ve ever had; we are provided all of the above and more by doing some journal writing.

Journal writing is a useful and flexible tool to help shed light on achieving your goals.

Here’s 5 smart reasons why you should do journal writing:

1. Journals Help You Have a Better Connection with Your Values, Emotions, and Goals

By journaling about what you believe in, why you believe it, how you feel, and what your goals are, you understand your relationships with these things better. This is because you must sort through the mental clutter and provide details on why you do what you do and feel what you feel.

Consider this:

Perhaps you’ve spent the last year or so working at a job you don’t like. It would be easy to just suck it up and keep working with your head down, going on as if it’s supposed to be normal to not like your job. Nobody else is complaining, so why should you, right?

Advertising

But a little journal writing will set things straight for you. You don’t like your job. You feel like it’s robbing you of happiness and satisfaction, and you don’t see yourself better there in the future.

The other workers? Maybe they don’t know, maybe they don’t care. But you do, you know and care enough to do something about it. And you’re capable of fixing this problem because your journal writing allows you to finally be honest with yourself about it.

2. Journals Improve Mental Clarity and Help Improve Your Focus

If there’s one thing journal writing is good for, it’s clearing the mental clutter.

How does it work? Simply, whenever you have a problem and write about it in a journal, you transfer the problem from your head to the paper. This empties the mind, allowing allocation of precious resources to problem-solving rather than problem-storing.

Let’s say you’ve been juggling several tasks at work. You’ve got data entry, testing, e-mails, problems with the boss, and so on—enough to overwhelm you—but as you start journal writing, things become clearer and easier to understand: Data entry can actually wait till Thursday; Bill kindly offered earlier to do my testing; For e-mails, I can check them now; the boss is just upset because Becky called in sick, etc.

You become better able to focus and reason your tasks out, and this is an indispensable and useful skill to have.

Advertising

3. Journals Improve Insight and Understanding

As a positive consequence of improving your mental clarity, you become more open to insights you may have missed before. As you write your notes out, you’re essentially having a dialogue with yourself. This draws out insights that you would have missed otherwise; it’s almost as if two people are working together to better understand each other. This kind of insight is only available to the person who has taken the time to connect with and understand themselves in the form of writing.

Once you’ve gotten a few entries written down, new insights can be gleaned from reading over them. What themes do you see in your life? Do you keep switching goals halfway through? Are you constantly dating the same type of people who aren’t good for you? Have you slowly but surely pushed people out of your life for fear of being hurt?

All of these questions can be answered by simply self-reflecting, but you can only discover the answers if you’ve captured them in writing. These questions are going to be tough to answer without a journal of your actions and experiences.

4. Journals Track Your Overall Development

Life happens, and it can happen fast. Sometimes we don’t take the time to stop and look around at what’s happening to us at each moment. We don’t get to see the step-by-step progress that we’re making in our own lives. So what happens? One day it’s the future, and you have no idea how you’ve gotten there.

Journal writing allows you to see how you’ve changed over time, so you can see where you did things right, and you can see where you took a misstep and fell.

The great thing about journals is that you’ll know what that misstep was, and you can make sure it doesn’t happen again—all because you made sure to log it, allowing yourself to learn from your mistakes.

Advertising

5. Journals Facilitate Personal Growth

The best thing about journal writing is that no matter what you end up writing about, it’s hard to not grow from it. You can’t just look at a past entry in which you acted shamefully and say “that was dumb, anyway!” No, we say “I will never make a dumb choice like that again!”

It’s impossible not to grow when it comes to journal writing. That’s what makes journal writing such a powerful tool, whether it’s about achieving goals, becoming a better person, or just general personal-development. No matter what you use it for, you’ll eventually see yourself growing as a person.

Kickstart Journaling

How can journaling best be of use to you? To vent your emotions? To help achieve your goals? To help clear your mind? What do you think makes journaling such a useful life skill?

Know the answer? Then it’s about time you reap the benefits of journal writing and start putting pen to paper.

Here’s what you can do to start journaling:

Featured photo credit: Jealous Weekends via unsplash.com

Read Next