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This Is Why Some People Make Deeper Connections With Others

This Is Why Some People Make Deeper Connections With Others

Throughout your life, you’ve undoubtedly met a handful of people with whom you feel an unending, genuine attachment to. Some people are just able to connect on an entirely different level with their fellow man. But it’s all in the way they act each and every day of their lives. If you’ve ever found yourself attracted to someone on a much deeper level, it’s likely because:

They treat everyone with respect

When I say “everyone,” I mean that. Those who are emotionally inviting never look down on anybody, and are always willing to lend a helping hand to those in need. They give everyone “the time of day” regardless of how busy they are. Because they are so eager to give respect to everyone they come into contact with, they end up receiving it back wherever they go.

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They follow the “Platinum Rule”

You’ve likely heard of the Golden Rule, which states that you should treat others as you’d like to be treated. Those who seek a deeper connection with those around them follow the Platinum Rule: Treat others as they want to be treated. While the Golden Rule is a good start, it insinuates that everyone likes to be treated the same way you do. Living by the Platinum Rule allows you to empathize with your fellow man and see the world from their perspective. By doing so, you form a much deeper connection with them.

They have unique, personable interactions

You won’t catch this type of person asking “How about this weather?” Those who seek deeper connections do so at all times. If they strike up a conversation with someone while waiting for a bus, they’ll likely probe into that person’s interests, asking questions that show their genuine interest in what their new friend has to say. They don’t use communication as a way to pass time; they use it as a way to truly experience life.

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They have integrity

Like I mentioned in the last point, those who connect well with others are genuinely interested in other people. While some people might make polite conversation only to turn around and roll their eyes, these people actually want to be involved in communication and connection. They never feel “stuck” in a conversation. They’re not simply polite for the sake of being polite; it’s how they really are. When they leave a conversation, even if it’s with a perfect stranger, they never think “Thank God I got out of that!” Instead, they feel as if their lives have improved even the slightest bit due to having the experience they just had.

They exhibit inviting body language

Those looking for deeper connections and friendships present themselves in such a way that invites others to engage in conversation with them. They always have a friendly smile on their face, look others in the eye, and never shrug someone off. Since they know that each connection they make could potentially end up being a life-changing experience, they always appear ready to meet and greet anyone they come into contact with.

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They genuinely enjoy life

This sums up some of the other points I’ve already made, but it bears repeating. Like I said, those who thrive off of forming emotional attachments truly do enjoy even the smallest interactions between themselves and others. They live for these moments rather than seeing them as a waste of time. They never think of any moment as insignificant, and are always eager to get up and out to enjoy every single day of their life. Not only do they live to enjoy their life, but they also live to spread this joy to everyone they meet, no matter who that may be.

Featured photo credit: I’ve Got You / Toni Blay via farm1.staticflickr.com

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Last Updated on December 3, 2019

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

There are so many lessons I wish I had learned while I was young enough to appreciate and apply them. The thing with wisdom, and often with life lessons in general, is that they’re learned in retrospect, long after we needed them. The good news is that other people can benefit from our experiences and the lessons we’ve learned.

Here’re 10 important life lessons you should learn early on:

1. Money Will Never Solve Your Real Problems

Money is a tool; a commodity that buys you necessities and some nice “wants,” but it is not the panacea to your problems.

There are a great many people who are living on very little, yet have wonderfully full and happy lives… and there are sadly a great many people are living on quite a lot, yet have terribly miserable lives.

Money can buy a nice home, a great car, fabulous shoes, even a bit of security and some creature comforts, but it cannot fix a broken relationship, or cure loneliness, and the “happiness” it brings is only fleeting and not the kind that really and truly matters. Happiness is not for sale. If you’re expecting the “stuff” you can buy to “make it better,” you will never be happy.

2. Pace Yourself

Often when we’re young, just beginning our adult journey we feel as though we have to do everything at once. We need to decide everything, plan out our lives, experience everything, get to the top, find true love, figure out our life’s purpose, and do it all at the same time.

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Slow down—don’t rush into things. Let your life unfold. Wait a bit to see where it takes you, and take time to weigh your options. Enjoy every bite of food, take time to look around you, let the other person finish their side of the conversation. Allow yourself time to think, to mull a bit.

Taking action is critical. Working towards your goals and making plans for the future is commendable and often very useful, but rushing full-speed ahead towards anything is a one-way ticket to burnout and a good way to miss your life as it passes you by.

3. You Can’t Please Everyone

“I don’t know the secret to success, but the secret to failure is trying to please everyone” – Bill Cosby.

You don’t need everyone to agree with you or even like you. It’s human nature to want to belong, to be liked, respected and valued, but not at the expense of your integrity and happiness. Other people cannot give you the validation you seek. That has to come from inside.

Speak up, stick to your guns, assert yourself when you need to, demand respect, stay true to your values.

4. Your Health Is Your Most Valuable Asset

Health is an invaluable treasure—always appreciate, nurture, and protect it. Good health is often wasted on the young before they have a chance to appreciate it for what it’s worth.

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We tend to take our good health for granted, because it’s just there. We don’t have to worry about it, so we don’t really pay attention to it… until we have to.

Heart disease, bone density, stroke, many cancers—the list of many largely preventable diseases is long, so take care of your health now, or you’ll regret it later on.

5. You Don’t Always Get What You Want

“Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon

No matter how carefully you plan and how hard you work, sometimes things just don’t work out the way you want them to… and that’s okay.

We have all of these expectations; predetermined visions of what our “ideal” life will look like, but all too often, that’s not the reality of the life we end up with. Sometimes our dreams fail and sometimes we just change our minds mid-course. Sometimes we have to flop to find the right course and sometimes we just have to try a few things before we find the right direction.

6. It’s Not All About You

You are not the epicenter of the universe. It’s very difficult to view the world from a perspective outside of your own, since we are always so focused on what’s happening in our own lives. What do I have to do today? What will this mean for me, for my career, for my life? What do I want?

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It’s normal to be intensely aware of everything that’s going on in your own life, but you need to pay as much attention to what’s happening around you, and how things affect other people in the world as you do to your own life. It helps to keep things in perspective.

7. There’s No Shame in Not Knowing

No one has it all figured out. Nobody has all the answers. There’s no shame in saying “I don’t know.” Pretending to be perfect doesn’t make you perfect. It just makes you neurotic to keep up the pretense of manufactured perfection.

We have this idea that there is some kind of stigma or shame in admitting our limitations or uncertainly, but we can’t possibly know everything. We all make mistakes and mess up occasionally. We learn as we go, that’s life.

Besides—nobody likes a know-it-all. A little vulnerability makes you human and oh so much more relatable.

8. Love Is More Than a Feeling; It’s a Choice

That burst of initial exhilaration, pulse quickening love and passion does not last long. But that doesn’t mean long-lasting love is not possible.

Love is not just a feeling; it’s a choice that you make every day. We have to choose to let annoyances pass, to forgive, to be kind, to respect, to support, to be faithful.

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Relationships take work. Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it’s incredibly hard. It is up to us to choose how we want to act, think and speak in a relationship.

9. Perspective Is a Beautiful Thing

Typically, when we’re worried or upset, it’s because we’ve lost perspective. Everything that is happening in our lives seems so big, so important, so do or die, but in the grand picture, this single hiccup often means next to nothing.

The fight we’re having, the job we didn’t get, the real or imagined slight, the unexpected need to shift course, the thing we wanted, but didn’t get. Most of it won’t matter 20, 30, 40 years from now. It’s hard to see long term when all you know is short term, but unless it’s life-threatening, let it go, and move on.

10. Don’t Take Anything for Granted

We often don’t appreciate what we have until it’s gone: that includes your health, your family and friends, your job, the money you have or think you will have tomorrow.

When you’re young, it seems that your parents will always be there, but they won’t. You think you have plenty of time to get back in touch with your old friends or spend time with new ones, but you don’t. You have the money to spend, or you think you’ll have it next month, but you might not.

Nothing in your life is not guaranteed to be there tomorrow, including those you love.

This is a hard life lesson to learn, but it may be the most important of all: Life can change in an instant. Make sure you appreciate what you have, while you still have it.

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Featured photo credit: Ben Eaton via unsplash.com

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