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This Is Why Some People Make Deeper Connections With Others

This Is Why Some People Make Deeper Connections With Others

Throughout your life, you’ve undoubtedly met a handful of people with whom you feel an unending, genuine attachment to. Some people are just able to connect on an entirely different level with their fellow man. But it’s all in the way they act each and every day of their lives. If you’ve ever found yourself attracted to someone on a much deeper level, it’s likely because:

They treat everyone with respect

When I say “everyone,” I mean that. Those who are emotionally inviting never look down on anybody, and are always willing to lend a helping hand to those in need. They give everyone “the time of day” regardless of how busy they are. Because they are so eager to give respect to everyone they come into contact with, they end up receiving it back wherever they go.

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They follow the “Platinum Rule”

You’ve likely heard of the Golden Rule, which states that you should treat others as you’d like to be treated. Those who seek a deeper connection with those around them follow the Platinum Rule: Treat others as they want to be treated. While the Golden Rule is a good start, it insinuates that everyone likes to be treated the same way you do. Living by the Platinum Rule allows you to empathize with your fellow man and see the world from their perspective. By doing so, you form a much deeper connection with them.

They have unique, personable interactions

You won’t catch this type of person asking “How about this weather?” Those who seek deeper connections do so at all times. If they strike up a conversation with someone while waiting for a bus, they’ll likely probe into that person’s interests, asking questions that show their genuine interest in what their new friend has to say. They don’t use communication as a way to pass time; they use it as a way to truly experience life.

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They have integrity

Like I mentioned in the last point, those who connect well with others are genuinely interested in other people. While some people might make polite conversation only to turn around and roll their eyes, these people actually want to be involved in communication and connection. They never feel “stuck” in a conversation. They’re not simply polite for the sake of being polite; it’s how they really are. When they leave a conversation, even if it’s with a perfect stranger, they never think “Thank God I got out of that!” Instead, they feel as if their lives have improved even the slightest bit due to having the experience they just had.

They exhibit inviting body language

Those looking for deeper connections and friendships present themselves in such a way that invites others to engage in conversation with them. They always have a friendly smile on their face, look others in the eye, and never shrug someone off. Since they know that each connection they make could potentially end up being a life-changing experience, they always appear ready to meet and greet anyone they come into contact with.

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They genuinely enjoy life

This sums up some of the other points I’ve already made, but it bears repeating. Like I said, those who thrive off of forming emotional attachments truly do enjoy even the smallest interactions between themselves and others. They live for these moments rather than seeing them as a waste of time. They never think of any moment as insignificant, and are always eager to get up and out to enjoy every single day of their life. Not only do they live to enjoy their life, but they also live to spread this joy to everyone they meet, no matter who that may be.

Featured photo credit: I’ve Got You / Toni Blay via farm1.staticflickr.com

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Matt Duczeminski

A passionate writer who shares lifestlye tips on Lifehack

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Last Updated on August 4, 2020

The Gentle Art of Saying No For a Less Stressful Life

The Gentle Art of Saying No For a Less Stressful Life

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here’s how to master the Gentle Art of Saying No:

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1. Value Your Time

Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”

2. Know Your Priorities

Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time?

For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.

3. Practice Saying No

Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.

4. Don’t Apologize

A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.

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5. Stop Being Nice

Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets.

Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.

6. Say No to Your Boss

Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no,” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning.

But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.

7. Pre-Empting

It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting,

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“Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”

8. Get Back to You

Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them:

“After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.”

At least you gave it some consideration.

9. Maybe Later

If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say,

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“This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].”

Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.

10. It’s Not You, It’s Me

This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often, the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time.

Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

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Featured photo credit: Kyle Glenn via unsplash.com

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