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8 Tips For Becoming A More Confident Public Speaker

8 Tips For Becoming A More Confident Public Speaker

For some people public speaking is worse than watching “Insidious” all alone in the dark, the first and second part back to back. It’s their worst nightmare, and when they think of speaking in front of a crowd they feel nauseous, but if you think about it for a moment, you will realize just how ridiculous this fear is. However, the fact is that the fear is so deeply ingrained that no amount of rationalizing can help you.

I had stage fright before, and whenever I started speaking, my face would turn red and I’d look like I was about to start crying at any moment. Using these eight steps I overcame my fear, and even became a public speaking addict in the end. Moreover, once I conquered the fear I stopped using fillers and became better at conveying my ideas, and so can anyone else.

1. What was I really afraid of?

Many people have stage fright, but in order to learn how to cope with it, you need to find out exactly what you are afraid of. Some are afraid that they will embarrass themselves, whereas some think they will be rejected by the audience. This all leads to sweating, forgetting your lines and being unable to speak fluently.

In order to make the first step to becoming a more confident public speaker, you need to face your fears. Find what you are scared of, and analyze your fear. I was afraid of embarrassing myself and creating an awkward situation. So, I asked myself two questions:

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  • What will you do to embarrass yourself? – The usual answer is “do and say something stupid”, and that was my answer. When you are on the stage, everything you do seems like it should be done that exact way. The audience doesn’t know your speech and what you need to say. Therefore, anything you do won’t be used against you.
  • Why is being on stage so scary? – The common answer is “it’s so quiet and people are looking at me”. Of course people are looking at you, they are waiting to hear what you have to say. Their attention is on you, the floor is yours, and you should allow yourself to feel like a celebrity every once in awhile.

In some cases, people don’t know the cause of their fear, and cannot explain why they start to shiver and mumble the moment they step on the stage.

2. I practice at home

Practice, practice and practice, will make you the best public speaker. There is no better way to become more confident than knowing everything about the subject matter you are covering in your speech. This was my routine before I got used to speaking in public: I’d stand in front of the mirror and pretend a large audience was listening to me.

It’s not the same, but speaking in front of a big audience is a lot like watching yourself in the mirror while speaking. Let’s not stop there. Everyone hates how their voice sounds when it’s recorder and played back to them, and even famous actors don’t like to see themselves on big screens because they sound “weird” to themselves. When you start feeling awkward, pay attention to see if you are speaking clearly, and focus on your intonation.

When you pass these two phases, you need to call some friends over and have them listen to you. All singers, actors and performers say that they become ashamed and nervous when they see their family members and close friends in the audience. It’s better to face the worst immediately, so you won’t be afraid of unfamiliar faces when you go on stage.

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3. I act naturally

The best thing to do in order to become more confident is pretend you are participating in some slightly bigger dinner party – something like a Greek family reunion, with all of the close and extended family seated at a long table – and are discussing something with the other guests. Act naturally, and talk with them, don’t just focus on finishing your speech as fast as you can.

Relax, take a deep breath and be yourself. There is no need to act differently and copy some public speakers, because the only way to have an interesting speech and convey the message is to act naturally. Some even suggest that people who suffer from anxiety during interviews or speeches, should only inform themselves about the matter and just go with a flow. Think about it.

4. I get the audience laughing

If you start your speech with a joke, it will both lighten up the atmosphere and relax you. A joke will instantly boost your confidence, as you will feel more comfortable speaking. Moreover, the audience won’t be bored and will definitely pay attention.

If you are at an event that hosts many different speakers, there is a huge chance people will get bored and lose concentration quickly. When no one listens to you, it can be very hard to stay confident. That’s why I break the ice with a joke, then introduce the topic in an interesting manner.

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5. I focus on the material

During my studies, whenever I had to present some essay or hold a debate, I was afraid of saying something that will make me sound stupid. It was so bad that I even forgot the meaning of some terms related to the topic. All that I could hear was the voice in my head saying: “Pay attention, don’t be stupid.” I wasn’t afraid of the other students, but of professors who were judging my every sentence.

However, once I realized that this irrational fear prevented me from presenting all of my knowledge and capabilities, I focused on the material and just saying what I wanted to say. I didn’t pay attention to what the audience thinks, as I was determined to prove my point and have my voice heard. You need to keep eye contact with the audience in order to engage them better, so learn not to think about their facial expressions and what they might be thinking.

6. I listen to music before the speech

When I had to stand in front of hundreds of people, everyone told me to sit in a quiet room and concentrate. It’s like meditation that will make you relaxed and calm. However, this didn’t help a lot, as I couldn’t calm myself because of all the adrenalin pumping through my veins. My friend, who had more experience than me, sent me a playlist and told me just to listen to it.

The negative energy and the nervousness I had were transformed into a calm positive energy after listening to a few encouraging songs. This put me in a positive mood, which helped me overcome my fear, and I felt like a rock star. The songs I listened to were different things from The Queen and RHCP, and “Waiting all night” from Rudimental, which made me jump around the room. It actually doesn’t matter what you listen to, as long as it is a fast song and you love it. Music plays a huge role in our lives, especially when it comes to motivation.

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7. I dress for success

I feel a lot more confident when I’m dressed well. This means I wear comfortable clothes, which make me look both professional and beautiful. When I am dressed like I’m speaking at the most important event of the year, I feel more confident to stand on stage and be looked at. I usually wear clothes that I am used to, rather than buying new clothes and worrying I might experience a wardrobe malfunction.

If you haven’t tried it, put on your favorite clothes and make a big entrance, flying out to the stage and feeling like you’ve just won an Oscar. If you fall, don’t worry, you can always pull of a cute Jennifer Lawrence look after you get up.

8. I prepare for mistakes

The worst thing that can happen to you is to get confused when you make a mistake. You start blushing, sweating, and then you say something that makes the whole audience uncomfortable. When I was just starting to speak in public on a more regular basis, I used to always prepare some backup lines in case I made a mistake. Once, I accidentally said the conclusion before including the previous steps, and I said “Oops, that escalated quickly.” Everyone laughed and I continued confidently my speech.

Mistakes have a positive effect on people, as you are human and it is normal to make a mistake – you cannot just recite the text you’ve prepared. This way you show that you think about the things you are talking about, and are not just going through a script.

When you get to love public speaking some issues like what to do with your hands, won’t be a problem as it will come naturally. However, if you have some problems with posture, try keeping your back straight as it will boost both your confidence and credibility. Try out different methods, as we are all different, and you cannot expect to overcome your problem by doing only one thing. According to my experience, these eight points will certainly help you become a rock star in front of the crowd.

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Katarina Milovanovic

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Last Updated on October 5, 2020

How to Quit Your Boring Life and Start Living an Interesting One

How to Quit Your Boring Life and Start Living an Interesting One

We are given life with many opportunities to make it everything we want it to be and more. If you find that you’ve slipped into living a boring life, it’s time to take a hard look at what you’ve been doing and what you can start doing now to make it more interesting.

Maybe you’ve been doing the same thing and living the same life for too long, or maybe your daily routine is limiting your growth and happiness. Whatever your reason is, the following list can definitely make any day or life more interesting. Some of them are silly, while some are more meaningful, so hopefully just reading the list makes your life less boring and sparks your creativity.

Let’s dive in the list to quit your boring life and start living an interesting (and meaningful) one!

1. Channel Your 7-Year-Old Self

Imagine being a young child. Life was never boring, was it? That’s because children harness every ounce of creativity they have in order to try new things.

What would your 7-year-old self want to do in this moment? Maybe they’d pick up a paintbrush and try to paint the landscape around them. May they would go outside and build something with random materials around the yard. Maybe they would raid the fridge and put together a dish they’ve never seen before.

Just because you’re a grown-up doesn’t mean any of this stuff will be less enjoyable than you remember it. Give yourself permission to play and use your creativity to its fullest.

2. Go Play With Kids

Speaking of little kids, if you have your own (or a niece or nephew), go play with them!

Kids are absolutely hilarious, so it’s simply impossible to be bored when you’re around them. They also keep things so simple, and we can really stand to be reminded of this and stop allowing ourselves to get bogged down in boring details.

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3. Play Cell Phone Roulette

You’ll need at least one buddy for this, but this is a great way to avoid a boring life. Scroll through the contacts in your phone, stop on a random one, and (if it feels right) call the person.

You could spark an incredible catch-up session or, at the very least, remind someone that you’re thinking of them. Neither are boring.

4. Fill out a Pack of Thank-You Cards

This is a great part of a gratitude practice. We often forget to thank the people who do things for us, especially if we have come to expect those things. For example, have you ever thought about thanking your mom for that weekly phone call? Or thanking your sister for always sending you a homemade gift on your birthday?

Take time to think of at least 5 people you would like to say thank you to and write out a card. You could even write them out for random people in your neighborhood, like the local librarian, a teacher at your child’s school, or the accountant at your bank.

Anyone and everyone appreciates being thanked for their efforts.

5. Sign up for a Class

Nowadays, there are classes for everything. To make it as interesting as possible, try finding one that you wouldn’t normally consider doing, like salsa lessons, improv, or boxing.

Otherwise, try to find a course on something you’ve always wanted to learn, like pottery, photography, or a foreign language course.

What’s good about joining an interest class is that you will also meet new people, which will add even more interest to your life!

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6. Talk to Your Grandparents About Their Lives

We often underestimate how interesting the elderly are. You can rest assured that any elderly person you talk to will not have had a boring life! Take some time to talk to them and hear their interesting stories. You may even find that this motivates you to go out and find your own interesting experiences.

7. Get up on Stage at an Open Mic Night

Whether you’re funny or not, get up on stage. If you’re not into comedy, find an open mic that focuses on reading poetry or short stories and bring your own. These groups tend to be incredibly supportive for anyone who is willing to be brave enough to get up and try.

8. Do Something for Someone Else

Showing kindness automatically makes you feel good, but doing these small acts will also help to ensure that you don’t have a boring life. Try doing one or two things each week that are outside your normal routine.

For example, you could make a batch of cookies for the mailperson or help your elderly neighbor organize one of their rooms. There are a million ways to show kindness to those around you. Tap into your creativity and find your own or use some of the ideas from the image below[1].

Do random acts of kindness to avoid living a boring life.

    9. Start a DIY Project in Your Home

    If you have your own place, there is always a project that needs to get done. Many people simply pay for someone else to do it in order to avoid the hassle, but taking on a DIY project can make a boring life much more interesting.

    It doesn’t have to be super complicated. Maybe you repaint an old vase or build a spice shelf out of used pallets.

    If you need ideas, you can also check out these 30 Awesome DIY Projects that You’ve Never Heard of.

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    10. Plan a Weekend Trip or an All-Out Vacation

    This will give you something to look forward to. One study actually found that most travelers are happiest before a vacation[2]. Therefore, simply planning a trip will boost your mood, even if you can’t actually take the vacation right now.

    Even if you don’t have the time or money to go on a vacation, plan for a staycation, which is also fun and relaxing!

    11. Go People Watching

    Find a bench in a crowded area (centers of transportation like airports, bus stops, and train stations are great for this!) and just observe[3].

    People are infinitely interesting. Try to imagine what their lives are like, what they’re thinking, or where they’re going. You’ll never know if you’re right, but it will give you something to focus on and also help you practice empathy.

    12. Eat Something You’ve Never Eaten Before

    You can try that new Moroccan restaurant down the street and pick the most interesting dish on the menu. Or, you can raid your own fridge and throw together a dish you’ve never made before.

    If you’re up for a trip to the grocery store, try picking up a new fruit or veggie from the produce section. You may find a new food that you love!

    13. Dance

    You can get your friends together for a night on the town or just pull up a video on YouTube and bust a move from your own living room.

    If you’re feeling extra brave, you can even dance in public or join a flash mob.

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    14. Pick up a Book and Start Reading

    Reading a good book can keep you occupied for hours. It will also transport you to a life that isn’t your own, and one that likely will be the opposite of a boring life. You’ll be amazed by what you can learn from those pages.

    Pick on of these inspirational books to start reading: 10 Best Inspirational Books That Can Change Your Life

    15. Spend Some Time With People You Care About

    Facebook stalking doesn’t count as real social interaction. Call up a friend you haven’t seen in a while, or bring a coffee over to your parent’s place and catch up. They’ll appreciate the gesture, and you’ll avoid boredom.

    16. Check out a Museum You’ve Never Been to

    Some people are bored by museums, so if that’s you, skip to the next one. However, if you love art, history, or culture, this one is for you!

    17. Write a List of Things You Desire and Truly Want

    This is a great way to help you figure out the real reason why you’re feeling bored about your life. Maybe you haven’t really done things that you truly enjoy? Maybe what you’ve wanted to do all the time has been left behind?

    Think about the list of things you really want to do, and ask yourself why you aren’t doing these things (yet). Then, start taking your first step to make it happen.

    Now, go make your life interesting and live your dream life!

    More on How to Quit a Boring Life

    Featured photo credit: Alex Alvarez via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] FECAVA: Random Acts of Kindness
    [2] Applied Research in Quality of Life: Vacationers Happier, but Most not Happier After a Holiday
    [3] Psychology Today: The Expert’s Guide to People Watching

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