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Last Updated on October 31, 2018

15 Signs Of Self-Absorbed People

15 Signs Of Self-Absorbed People

No one likes a self-absorbed person- at least most people I know don’t. Self-absorbed people do portray certain patterns that are similar to narcissistic people, and getting close to such people can hurt your self-esteem.

However realizing certain elements that define their character can make us more prepared for dealing with them.

Here are 15 signs of self-absorbed people.

1. They are always on the defensive

They do not see the world from another person’s eyes. They would rather see it from theirs and protect their flaws and image with everything they’ve got.

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2. They don’t see the big picture

A self-absorbed person thinks the world is just about them. Thus, the world, from their point of view, is a place comprising them and perhaps a few persons around them who they can control. How the world affects other people really doesn’t concern them.

3. They are imposing

They frequently use words like “should” or “must.” They want to dominate in any relationship because they see relationships as a tool for getting what they want and making themselves the center of attention.

4. They feel insecure sometimes

They are not complete. They always have a missing gap in their world. And you may be the person they try to use to fill those gaps.

5. They always think they are superior to others

They are so consumed by their own world and self image that it is near impossible for other people to measure up to their standards. They maintain a superiority complex that most commonly leads to them devaluing others.

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6. They consider friendships a tool for getting what they want

Don’t assume that they are overly concerned with the friendship that they have with you. This is why they have so many friends and are not overly concerned with the number of friends they have: they view friends as tools for getting what they want.

7. They are extremely opinionated

It is always about their opinions. They do not want to consider the opinions of others; due to their self-absorption they are consumed by their own point of view, self-image, desires and preferences.

8. They do not have long lasting relationships

Since their relationships are built around the idea of quantity and using people as tools to get what they want, they do not have long lasting relationships or quality ones.

9. They do not have a real sense of empathy

Since their display of sympathy or compassion is usually conditional, it is difficult for them to understand the depth of true empathy or what this concept really means.

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10. They hide their insecurities behind a cloak of success

The truth is that no matter what sort of success they have, they will always feel inadequate internally. While they may appear successful or confident based on appearances and external achievements, internally, they fears relating to self-esteem.

11. They devalue others

Constructive criticism is okay, but self-absorbed people always take criticism too far and use it as a weapon to allow them to devalue others.

12. They can be arrogant

This is because they feel they are so important and better than every other person. A self-absorbed person can often be egotistical.

13. They hide who they are

They will present the best and most captivating part of their personality to you. As they are so self-absorbed, they do not want you to see the hidden elements that make them feel secretly insecure. This can lead to them coming across as pretentious and them failing to be vulnerable in relationships.

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14. They are extremely selfish

Every human is selfish. But there are certain occasions when you have to make exceptions and take actions without expecting anything in return. This is not so for the self-absorbed person.

15. They think they are great and the world out there is wrong

They do not self-heal. If they have been hurt they would rather rebuke the world for this rather than self-heal. For the self-absorbed person the problem is either “you” or the “other”- never “me”. Most of the time it will seem like no form of self-healing or therapy would suit them as they are focused on all the wrongs the world has done to them, never accepting any responsibility.

When you recognize the above signs, consider that you may be dealing with a self-absorbed person- or you may be one yourself.

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Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

More by this author

Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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