No one likes a self-absorbed person- at least most people I know don’t. Self-absorbed people do portray certain patterns that are similar to narcissistic people, and getting close to such people can hurt your self-esteem.
However realizing certain elements that define their character can make us more prepared for dealing with them.
Here are 15 signs of self-absorbed people:
1. They are always on the defensive.
They do not see the world from another person’s eyes. They would rather see it from theirs and protect their flaws and image with everything they’ve got.
2. They don’t see the big picture.
A self-absorbed person thinks the world is just about them. Thus, the world, from their point of view, is a place comprising them and perhaps a few persons around them who they can control. How the world affects other people really doesn’t concern them.
3. They are imposing.
They frequently use words like “should” or “must.” They want to dominate in any relationship because they see relationships as a tool for getting what they want and making themselves the center of attention.
4. They feel insecure sometimes.
They are not complete. They always have a missing gap in their world. And you may be the person they try to use to fill those gaps.
5. They always think they are superior to others.
They are so consumed by their own world and self image that it is near impossible for other people to measure up to their standards. They maintain a superiority complex that most commonly leads to them devaluing others.
6. They consider friendships a tool for getting what they want.
Don’t assume that they are overly concerned with the friendship that they have with you. This is why they have so many friends and are not overly concerned with the number of friends they have: they view friends as tools for getting what they want.
7. They are extremely opinionated.
It is always about their opinions. They do not want to consider the opinions of others; due to their self-absorption they are consumed by their own point of view, self-image, desires and preferences.
8. They do not have long lasting relationships.
Since their relationships are built around the idea of quantity and using people as tools to get what they want, they do not have long lasting relationships or quality ones.
9. They do not have a real sense of empathy.
Since their display of sympathy or compassion is usually conditional, it is difficult for them to understand the depth of true empathy or what this concept really means.
10. They hide their insecurities behind a cloak of success.
The truth is that no matter what sort of success they have, they will always feel inadequate internally. While they may appear successful or confident based on appearances and external achievements, internally, they have fears relating to self-esteem.
11. They devalue others.
Constructive criticism is okay, but self-absorbed people always take criticism too far and use it as a weapon to allow them to devalue others.
12. They can be arrogant.
This is because they feel they are so important and better than every other person. A self-absorbed person can often be egotistical.
13. They hide who they are.
They will present the best and most captivating part of their personality to you. As they are so self-absorbed, they do not want you to see the hidden elements that make them feel secretly insecure. This can lead to them coming across as pretentious and them failing to be vulnerable in relationships.
14. They are extremely selfish.
Every human is selfish. But there are certain occasions when you have to make exceptions and take actions without expecting anything in return. This is not so for the self-absorbed person.
15. They think they are great and the world out there is wrong.
They do not self-heal. If they have been hurt, they would rather rebuke the world for this rather than self-heal.
For the self-absorbed person, the problem is either “you” or the “other”- never “me”. Most of the time, it will seem like no form of self-healing or therapy would suit them as they are focused on all the wrongs the world has done to them, never accepting any responsibility.
When you recognize the above signs, consider that you may be dealing with a self-absorbed person- or you may be one yourself.
And if you realize that you’re actually one, it’s never too late to change. You can work on your mindset and start to improve your relationships with yourself and others: How to Build Self Esteem (A Guide to Realize Your Hidden Power)
More About Self-Care and Self-Improvement
- The 5 Personality Patterns: Your Guide to Understanding Yourself and Others and Developing Emotional Maturity by Steven Kessler
- Not Nice: Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty… And Start Speaking Up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, And Unapologetically Being Yourself by Aziz Gazipura
- Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry, Revised and Expanded by Albert J. Bernstein
- Nasty People by Jay Carter
- Why Self-Compassion Is More Important Than Self-Esteem
- How to Attain Self Realization (Step-By-Step Guide for a Better You)
- What Is Self Actualization? 13 Traits of a Self-Actualized Person
Featured photo credit: Yoann Boyer via unsplash.com