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How’s Mama-To-Be Really Like: 10 Pregnancy Advice For The First Time Moms

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How’s Mama-To-Be Really Like: 10 Pregnancy Advice For The First Time Moms

For every first time mom, there are those rules and regulations, that advice of oh-so-many do’s and don’ts; the list just goes endless, that you have to abide to. On one hand, you are experiencing pregnancy for the first time, your body is going through major changes, you are emotionally fluctuated: excited, tensed, anxious, happy, blessed, impatient, so on and on. And on the other hand, you have been advised to do this, not to do that, to eat this, not to eat that, don’t go there, please go there! Driving you nuts? Well, here is an article that might come to your aid. From my very own first hand experiences, I would like to chime in your life for a bit. Hope I can help you!

1. No diet for you, first time mom!

Always remember, you have to eat for the two (or three, maybe?) of you. Whatever you eat, whether it’s a slice of cake, or a buffet dinner, make sure you eat two slices of cake, and adequate amount of meal that will leave you full and super satisfied. In simple words: eat food to your heart’s content. But of course, always, and always maintain a healthy balanced diet. It doesn’t mean you can’t have KFC or Burger King. You can. But keep one to maximum two junks per month. It really won’t affect your baby’s development. I have had my shares of junk food, and my babies turned out amazing! Another important advice: you can have sea food. Have plenty of fish. But make sure you avoid sushi, or any fish that is raw or half raw. Frozen fish are better. And cook them thoroughly. Fish in a curry is the best option.  Also, bear in mind that these extra food will go to your baby, and even if you grow fat, you will eventually shed them down. Or I hope you will shed them down!

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2. Don’t forget your exercises, though.

Don’t go overboard on your exercises. Minimum, appropriate exercises are what you require throughout your pregnancy. Here are 5 simple steps of exercises that you can do in your special nine months. Exercises, from the very beginning, will make you flexible, and will make your labor a tiny bit easier (please read “tiny bit”)! More importantly, make sure you are gaining weight at a steady pace. Exercises are not to keep your weight in check. It is to make you feel good.

3. Sex is a brilliant exercise too.

As long as you are going through a normal pregnancy, you can have sex till your water breaks. You are only exempted if you have some sort of complications. Don’t let your weight gain bug your desire to have sex. And don’t worry about your partner. They find us sexy regardless of how fat we grow. There are some who find it quite difficult to make love in their last trimester, because of the big balloon in front of them. Ease back, and relax. You should enjoy your sex, rather than panicking. Remember, sex is a brilliant exercise too.

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4. Losing hair or having luscious locks? Don’t fret if things go opposite after delivery.

During my first pregnancy, I had beautiful, thicker, luscious locks that I ab-so-lutely enjoyed. But couple of weeks after my delivery, my hair started to decline. Man, was I upset! It’s a normal thing, or so science says. If you are lucky, your hormones will play the good cop role, and allow your hair to grow. Once your hormones settle down back to normal, the excess hair that grew will shed off. And it will get back to your normal shedding routine. 100 per day. They grow back too. And during my second pregnancy, I started to lose my hair. This time, I was told, that the hormones played the bad cop role. But during my second trimester, my hair was back to normal, or maybe I was used to the thinning hair. Do not fret. All these are temporary. Once your baby pops out, give your hormones some time. They will settle down themselves (my hair is back to normal, Thank God!).

5. No hair coloring at home.

Really? I heard the same thing too. Apparently the chemical fumes that is released from the hair color is extremely bad for your fetus. Let me tell you one thing. It is bad. Very bad. But if you have enough fresh air flowing in and out of your room, then coloring won’t be a factor at all. I have colored my hair, during my second pregnancy, not once, but twice! But I made sure the door and the window were wide open, the fan at its fullest speed. And don’t inhale the smell deeply. While coloring, make sure you face the other way when you need to breathe deeply.

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6. Wear fitted, yet comfy clothes.

This is another factor we have to face a lot. There are people who would tell you to wear loose fitting clothes so that you can move freely, and there are some who would advice you to wear fitted clothes. You wanna know the truth? Wear fitted but comfy clothes. Example, you can choose maternity lines, and you can also opt for 2 to 3 sizes larger your regular size. My favorites were my partner’s ones. A cotton leggings and a cotton shirt. Or a skirt with a cotton tank top. Just make sure the garbs you pick are pure cotton, and soft.

7. High heels much?

Yes, you can wear high heels (you read it right, women!) but make sure you are one hundred percent comfortable in them. Doctors usually don’t allow heels in case you lose your balance and fall. But if you are a pro, and have a clear history of never falling down while dancing, running, cat walking in your stilettos, then go for it! But one thing I would advice, the safest shoes are flats, without a doubt, but if you have to wear heels, then go for wedges. They’ll keep your balance, and make you tall.

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8. No perfume? No deodorant?

Seriously? Well, you can’t stay stinky all day now, can you? Especially during the hot summer days, you are all sweaty… okay, I’ll stop. You can use deo, and please use perfume. I know they contain alcohol. The thing is you are not drinking your perfume, are you? No? Then it is absolutely safe to use it. The alcohol containing in a perfume evaporates into the air. It is exactly the same as using ethanol after drawing your blood for various medical tests.

9. Visit the movie hall while you can.

Many will refrain you from visiting the movie hall while you are pregnant. The reason being the surround systems, and the amount of loud sound the movie theaters will produce. They say it is bad for your baby’s hearing development. To be honest, I did watch Avengers in the theater. And my baby can hear better than me. Just make sure you sit in the middle of the hall, not on the sides where the speakers are the loudest. And you can watch movies as much as you want to. It is a great way to unwind your anxious you!

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10. Stop reading too much pregnancy blogs!

These will drive you nuts. Just stick to one website that you think has enough information, and follow the updates every week. Not every day. Please! And don’t compare the weekly development of your baby and the website’s baby too seriously. Every baby is unique and has their own pace of development. What the websites provide are based on an average study. If your baby weighs less than the website’s given weight (or more), don’t panic. These are just to give you an idea of your weekly development. They are fun to read, and look at. Do this with your partner. Keep him in loop as well. And besides reading weekly development, why don’t you sit with a nice novel and read it? This is a great therapy to keep your mind off any anxiousness.

Pregnancy is an experience of a lifetime. We all should enjoy it as much as we can. Because when we’ll look back, even the little thing will make a wonderful memory. So, don’t let the silly advice blog your path of enjoyment. This is your first pregnancy, an experience to be a first time mom. So do what you like, see what you like, eat what you like. Doing a little research on certain topics isn’t harmful. But doing a lot of researches might put mountainous pressure on yourself. Relax, get enough sleep, get out, shop, hang out, eat, pamper yourself. These nine months are your months. You are on the limelight. Make use of it before the tiny human being(s) steals your show!

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Sumaiya Kabir

Sumaiya is a passionate writer who shares thoughts and ideas to help people improve themselves.

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Last Updated on October 7, 2021

Why Spending Time With Your Family Is Important (And How To Do So)

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Why Spending Time With Your Family Is Important (And How To Do So)

In today’s chaotic world, having family time isn’t always easy. It can get pretty hard to coordinate schedules, especially if the family is large. Life demands that we work, attend school, nurture friendships, hobbies, etc. All of those things are extremely time-consuming and important—but so is spending time with your family.

Why is family time so important? Because we all need love and support, and a good, strong family can provide that regularly. For children, spending time with their family helps shape them into good, responsible adults, improve their mental health, and develop strong core values.

There are many positive effects of spending time with your family. My family and I, for instance (and this includes grandchildren as well), meet every Tuesday night for dinner and games. My older son and I take turns cooking. This gives all of us a chance to try some new recipes. After dinner, we play games. And without fail, they inspire competitiveness and laughter. As family night has evolved, the grandkids have invited their friends over as well, creating the need for more chairs but also expanding our circle of fun.

Aside from the obvious fun and games, there are other reasons why spending time with your family is paramount. In this article, I will provide you with multiple reasons why spending time with your family regularly is a win-win. And then, I will lay out some ways on how to do it.

Let’s get started, shall we?

Why Spending Time With Your Family Is Important

Here are six reasons why it’s important to spend time with your family.

1. Provides the Opportunity to Bond

When you spend time together as a family—talking about your day, your highs, your lows—it fosters communication. As parents, it gives you the chance to listen to your children, to hear them out, to learn about what’s going on in their world. It also provides you with the opportunity to use life situations as teaching moments.

Before our Tuesday night dinner/game nights, my family used to see each other pretty regularly but not consistently, especially the grandkids. Our family night changed all that. Now, it’s guaranteed that the grandchildren, along with some of their friends, will be there. Not only do I get to find out what’s been happening in their lives, but they also get to know us better. It’s creating memories they can treasure forever, as well as modeling the Get-Together tradition for when they eventually have families of their own.

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“Spending time partaking in everyday family leisure activities has been associated with greater emotional bonding within families.”[1]

2. Teaches the Value of Family

Taking the time to be with your family lets your children know they are valued—that spending time together is a priority. I know that in today’s world, both parents are busy as both usually working. What better way to let your children know they are loved than by carving out time each week to spend with them?

According to Marilyn Price-Mitchell, Ph.D., “words like honesty, trust, fairness, respect, responsibility, and courage are core to centuries of religious, philosophical, and family beliefs. Use them and others to express and reinforce your family values. Teach children the behaviors that flow from these principles. Use quotes to ignite meaningful dinner conversations and encourage kids to talk about these values.”[2]

3. Enhances Mental Well-Being

Spending that quality time together gives your children a safe platform in which to express themselves, ask questions about things that are bothering them, or talk about their day and things they’ve learned. I know that my 9-year old granddaughter can’t wait until it’s her turn to talk about her day. She usually goes on and on and has to be stopped to give everyone else a chance to talk about their goings-on.

“Research shows the quality of family relationships is more important than their size or composition. Whoever the family is made up of, they can build strong, positive relationships that promote wellbeing and support children and young people’s mental health.”[3]

For children, having the opportunity to seek advice from parents they trust—as well as being able to have a sounding board and help with problem-solving—is priceless. In addition, being able to voice their opinions and be heard—and to feel like what they have to say matters—is an esteem-builder. All of these can have a very impactful positive effect on their well-being.

4. Helps the Child Feel Loved

How do you think a child feels knowing their parents want to spend time with them—talking, sharing experiences, playing games, listening to them? It will make them feel as though they are important, and a child that feels important is happier and more apt to thrive. Setting aside chores or work to spend time with your children demonstrates that they’re essential—that they matter. What a gift to give your child!

“If a child has your undivided attention, it signals that they are loved and important to you. This can be further nurtured by experiencing joyful activities together, as it demonstrates that you want to spend time with your children over and above all of the daily demands.”[4]

5. Creates a Safe Environment

If you regularly spend time with your children, you are also creating an atmosphere of trust. The more trust they have, the more likely they are to share with you what’s going on in their world. As they get older, you’re going to want to know. Negative influences can show up at any time, but if you’ve always been there for your child, they are more apt to come to you and ask for your advice.

Spending time together generates familiarity and feelings of being supported. When a child feels safe and comfortable, they’re more likely to open up. This is one way to get to know your child and know what’s on their minds. Are they okay? Do they need your guidance? If so, how?

6. Reduces Stress

This is significant. We all suffer from stress at one point or another in our lives. Spending time with family helps alleviate that stress. It’s an opportunity to talk things out, get feedback, and maybe brainstorm for a solution to the problem that is causing the stress.

According to Brandy Drzymkowski, “During the holidays, your closest five people probably shifts to family and friends. You may even get to see loved ones who live far away. Good news! This can actually help lower your stress levels. Studies show ‘face-to-face interaction…counteracts the body’s defensive ‘fight-or-flight’ response.’ In other words, quality time spent with loved ones is nature’s stress reliever.”[5]

So, now that you know some of the benefits, what are some ideas for making family time happen?

How to Make Family Time Happen

Here are four things you can do to make family time happen and spend more time with them.

1. Family Dinners

This, as I said above, is a wonderful way to spend time together. While you’re having dinner, you have the chance to discuss things that are going on in your lives—the ups, the downs, and everywhere in between. It’s like having a buffer against life’s challenges.

Aside from that, eating dinner together has many additional benefits. Studies have shown that for kids who eat regularly with their families, there is less risk of substance abuse, teen pregnancy, and depression.[6]

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“Our belief in the ‘magic’ of family dinners is grounded in research on the physical, mental and emotional benefits of regular family meals.” It further states, “We recommend combining food, fun and conversation at mealtimes because those three ingredients are the recipe for a warm, positive family dinner—the type of environment that makes these scientifically proven benefits possible.”[7]

According to Parenting NI, “children and adolescents who spend more time with their parents are less likely to get involved in risky behavior. According to studies done by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse via Arizona State University, teens who have infrequent family dinners are twice as likely to use tobacco, nearly twice as likely to use alcohol and one and a half times more likely to use marijuana.”[8]

As you can see, there are multiple benefits to spending time with each other routinely. You can’t go wrong with this family activity.

2.  Regular Movie Nights

This is another fun event, although, from personal experience, I have to caution that choosing a movie that everyone wants to see is not easy. So, give yourselves plenty of time so you don’t spend two hours searching for a movie, and then end up watching no movie at all because the night is practically over. Try and choose a movie before the day, if possible.

Afterward, open it up for discussion. Ask questions pertinent to the movie. What do you think of ABC? Should they have done that? Would you have done something differently? There are so many questions you can ask to spark a conversation and keep the night going.

3. Game Night

This is another occasion for great fun. If you have a competitive spirit, it makes it even more fun. There are numerous games out there—Balderdash, Pictionary, Apples to Apples, Charades, to name a few—that can create fun havoc. All I can say is, on game nights, don’t take yourself too seriously. It’s okay if you lose the game. The fun is in being together, laughing, debating, and having a good time.

In addition, “Playing board games is great for children for many reasons besides the obvious; it’s fun to play games! Age appropriate games can help children to think strategically, solve problems creatively, work on pattern recognition and build simple math skills. They also help children develop social skills such as following rules, taking turns, and graceful winning or losing. Additionally, a family game night provides an opportunity for children to bond with siblings, parents and family members as well as peers. It can promote tradition building and establish a fun routine.”[9]

So, go find your family a game and start having fun!

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4. Sharing a Hobby

If you and one of your kids like to do the same things, do it more often. For example, my oldest son and his teenage son go on long bike rides together on the weekends. Not only do they get to exercise, but they also get to talk and look at beautiful sceneries. They’ve also incorporated cooking into their routine. They plan the meal, shop, and prepare—activities that bring them closer together.

Sharing a hobby is a great way to bring family members together. It bonds people in amazing ways. According to Alison Ratner Mayer, LICSW, “One of the easiest and most important ways to build a child’s self-esteem is to spend time with them doing something not only that they enjoy but something that you also enjoy. There is a special magic that happens between a parent and a child when they share a mutually beloved activity. It sends the message to the child that their parents are having fun, true, honest, real fun, with them.”[10]

Final Thoughts

Spending time with the family is an investment. It is an investment in the happiness, well-being, and security of that system. It can also serve as a way to break out of the daily rut and the constant worldly demands, while at the same time, building a strong family unit.

Even though it isn’t always easy to find the time, finding the time is key to staying close and to providing and receiving love and support. There is no greater gift than the gift of time. That’s what we all seem to be missing nowadays. So, in giving that gift consistently, everyone feels loved and appreciated.

The family that takes the time to interact regularly is typically happy. They know they are part of a tribe, and that’s essential in today’s chaotic world. To know that there are people whom you can count on—people who will have your back in times of need—is invaluable.

Now, go and plan something plan with your family, if you haven’t already.

Featured photo credit: Jimmy Dean via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Pittsburgh Parent: Spending Time Together—Benefits of Family Time
[2] Roots of Action: Integrity: How Families Teach and Live Their Values
[3] Beyond Blue: Healthy Families
[4] Esperance Anglican Community School: The importance of family time
[5] Brandy Drzymkowski: Spending Time With Loved Ones Reduces Stress
[6] Harvard Graduate School of Education: Harvard EdCast: The Benefit of Family Mealtime
[7] The Family Dinner Project: BENEFITS OF FAMILY DINNERS
[8] Parenting NI: The Importance of Spending Time Together
[9] WNY Children: Family Game Night- The Benefits of Game Play
[10] Child Therapy Boston: The Benefits of Sharing a Hobby With Your Child

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