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The Simplest Ways To Stop Saying “Um”, “Like” And Other Filler Words

The Simplest Ways To Stop Saying “Um”, “Like” And Other Filler Words

When I was starting as a Disc Jockey at the age of twenty, my spiels were full of “ums,” “likes,” and “aahs” so my supervisor called my attention to solve the problem asap.

Today, when I attend business seminars and meetings, I always encounter professionals unconsciously using these filler words. When “um,” “ahh,” “you know,” and “like” are used once or twice, there’s no issue at all. In fact, it makes people sound like they studied their words more carefully before speaking. The problem arises when people keep repeating them; this kills their credibility and makes them sound like a teenage school girl instead of a professional.

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Use speech rhythm.

You ramble, or use unstudied speech when you don’t plan and organize your talk. When you organize your thoughts and points prior to delivering a talk, you will speak better. Presentation and speech improvement trainer Ritchelle Blanco Dejolde, recommends that you chunk your sentences before speaking them, then pause for a while. Dejolde says, “Chunking your sentences will help you create a rhythm in your talk: spoken words/ then break/spoken words/ another break. Maintain that rhythm and your “aahs” and “um’s” will fly away or at least less used.”

Record yourself.

One of the first things I learned when I was training as a broadcaster was to record myself and listen intently on how I generally deliver speeches. It’s painful, excruciatingly painful to do this, but it’s absolutely necessary. To listen to your own voice and hear yourself committing mistakes while talking in front of a crowd is, to me, one of the most difficult part of my training as a broadcaster. Do this, listen well and study yourself, and the fillers you often use; you’ll cringe when you notice how frequently you express them. The moment you are conscious of those speech crutches, you will be more careful next time you address an audience. That’s the key: awareness. When you’re mindful of an error, admit that you commit it, then you’re on your way to correct it.

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Replace your “ums” and “likes” with pre-planned transitional fillers.

When you say “um” you are telling your audience you are gathering your thoughts and that your train of thought is not yet finished. A better alternative is to get ready with transitional phrases. Instead of saying “um” say “moving on,” or “why don’t we talk about,” or “another important point is…” When you start applying this lesson, you’ll feel a bit of a fake, but as you practice using these transitional phrases, they will start to sound more natural. You can apply the tip (recording yourself) before this while practicing and you’ll be on your way to polish your speaking skills.

Establish an intimate rapport.

They say the eyes are the windows to a man’s soul. Applying this in public speaking, make eye contact through out your speech and you will minimize using filler words. Why? It’s awkward to say “um” when you lock in a sincere eye contact with an individual. Experiment in your next seminar or meeting; position your body and gaze directly onto your audience giving it your most engaging attention. During a conference call, don’t stare at the window or the wall blankly, or pace the room unconsciously. Instead, check your script or notes. Basically, live audience, on-line, or on the phone, your fillers will come out lesser.

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In no time, with these effective strategies and with constant practice, I was able to lessen using fillers. Apply them in your talks and pretty soon, you will eradicate those credibility stealers from your speech.

Sources:

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Four Ways to Stop Saying “Um” And Other Filler Words

Here’s the Trick to Removing “Um” and “Like” From Your Vocabulary

Featured photo credit: Photo Credit: TEDx Athens va Compfight cc via compfight.com

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Anthony Dejolde

TV/Radio personality who educates his audience on entrepreneurship, productivity, and leadership.

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Last Updated on June 24, 2019

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

A study [1] published in Depression and Anxiety found that social media users are more likely to be depressed. This was just one of the huge number of studies linking social media and depression[2] . But why exactly do platforms like Facebook and Instagram make people so unhappy? Well, we don’t know yet for sure, but there are some explanations.

Social Media Could Lead to Depression

Depression is a serious medical condition that affects how you think, feel, and behave. Social media may lead to depression in predisposed individuals or make existing symptoms of depression[3] worse explains[4] the study above’s senior author Dr. Brian Primack. So, the problem may not be in social media per se, but how we use it.

Signs You’re Suffering From “Social Media Depression”

If you feel like social media is having a negative impact on your mood, then you may be suffering from “social media depression.” Look for symptoms like:

• low self-esteem,

• negative self-talk,

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• a low mood,

• irritability,

• a lack of interest in activities once enjoyed,

• and social withdrawal.

If you’ve had these symptoms for more than two weeks and if this is how you feel most of the time, then you are likely depressed. Although “social media depression “is not a term recognized in the medical setting, social media depression seems to be a real phenomenon affecting around 50% of social media users. As explained in a review study[5] published in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, if a person has a certain predisposition to depression and other mental disorders, social media use may only worsen their mental health.

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Social Media Could Crush Self-Esteem

We know that social media and depression are in some way linked, but why is this so? Well, according to Igor Pantic, MD, Ph.D.[6], social media use skews your perception about other people’s lives and traits. To explain this further, most people like to portray an idealized image of their lives, personal traits, and appearance on sites like Facebook and Instagram. If you confuse this idealized image with reality, you may be under the false impression that everyone is better than you which can crush your self-esteem and lead to depression. This is especially true for teens and young adults who are more likely to compare themselves to others. If you already suffer from low self-esteem, the illusion that everyone has it better off than you will just make you feel worse.

Causing Social Isolation and Other Negative Emotions

Another commonly cited reason for the negative impact of social media on mental health is its link with social isolation. Depressed people are more likely to isolate themselves socially and chose only to interact indirectly through social media platforms. But communication online tends to be superficial and is lacking when compared to real-life interaction explains Panic. What this means is not that social media leads to isolation but the other way around, possibly explaining why we find so many depressed persons on these sites.

Lastly, social media use may generate negative emotions in you like envy, jealousy, dislike, loneliness, and many others and this may worsen your depressive symptoms.

Why We Need to Take This Seriously

Both depression and social media use are on the rise according to epidemiological studies. Since each one has an impact on the other, we have to start thinking of healthier ways to use social media. Teens and young adults are especially vulnerable to the negative impact of social media on mental health.

Advice on Social Media Use

Although these findings did not provide any cause-effect explanation regarding Facebook and depression[7], they still do prove that social media use may not be a good way to handle depression. For this reason, the leading authors of these studies gave some suggestions as to how clinicians and people can make use of such findings.

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One suggestion is that clinicians should ask patients about their social media habits. Then they can advise them on how to change their outlook on social media use or even suggest limiting their time spent on social media.

Some social media users may also exhibit addictive behavior; they may spend too much time due to compulsive urges. Any compulsive behavior is bound to lead to feelings of guilt which can worsen depressive symptoms.

Having Unhealthy Relationship with Social Media

If you feel like your relationship with social media is unhealthy, then consider the advice on healthy social media use provided by psychology experts from Links Psychology[8]:

Avoid negative social comparison – always keep in mind that how people portray themselves and their lives on social media is not a realistic picture, but rather an idealized one. Also, avoid comparing yourself to others because this behavior can lead to negative self-talk.

Remember that social media is not a replacement for real life – Social media is great for staying in touch and having fun, but it should never replace real-world interactions.

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Avoid releasing personal information – For your safety and privacy, make sure to be careful with what you post online.

Report users who bully and harass you – It’s easy to be a bully in the anonymous and distant world of social media. Don’t take such offense personally and report those who abuse social media to harass others.

The bits of advice listed above can help you establish a healthy relationship with social media. Always keep these things in mind to avoid losing an objective perspective of what social media is and how it is different from real life. If you are currently suffering from depression, talk to your doctor about what is bothering you so that you can get the treatment you need to get better. Tell your doctor about your social media use and see if they could give you some advice on this topic.

Reference

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