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Even Steve Jobs Didn’t Let His Kids Use iPads: Why You Should Limit Technology Use for Your Kids

Even Steve Jobs Didn’t Let His Kids Use iPads: Why You Should Limit Technology Use for Your Kids

There’s no denying we live in a digital age. With a click of a button, we can access any bit of information ever known to humanity. With another click, we can end up wasting an hour of our day watching cats play piano. What I’m trying to say is that the prevalence of technology today is a double-edged sword.

While it’s easy enough for adults to become consumed by their iPads and smartphones, the real danger is raising children who are downright addicted to electronic screens. Even Steve Jobs, who invented all the best gadgets currently in your home, didn’t allow his children to use the iPad.

Others in the tech industry follow that same idea, sending their children to schools that strictly forbid the use of technology, instead encouraging face-to-face interaction and creative problem solving.

Though it might seem hypocritical for parents who utilize technology on a daily basis at their jobs to put a limit on their children’s use of the same technology, it’s hard to argue with the fact that using technology too much results in:

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1. A lack of creativity

When a young child plugs into the World Wide Web, everything is done for him. He can watch a cartoon, play a game, or get answers to his homework questions. If children are taught they can simply go to Google and get an answer to a question, they’ll more than likely stop trying to figure things out on their own. Especially if getting done quicker means they can go back to watching cartoons even sooner.

While it’s important to teach children how to use the Internet as a learning tool, it shouldn’t be the only method they use to solve problems. If they learn to rely too much on technology for answers, they’ll be completely lost when the technology is unavailable to them.

2. A lack of curiosity and passion

Along with a lack of curiosity, children who rely too much on technology will lose their passion for learning.

Remember before the Internet, when you wanted to know something, you actually had to spend a decent amount of time looking it up? You had to go to the library, find the right section, then the right book, then the right page…it took time! But when you finally got your answer, the entire experience left you feeling fulfilled. And that knowledge became part of your long-term memory.

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Now, if you need to know something, you can look it up immediately; and you’ll most likely forget it by the end of the day. Children need to understand that learning is a process. If we don’t limit their access to technology, they’ll never truly love to learn.

3. A lack of patience

Since information, communication, and entertainment are now available at the push of a button, we’re becoming less and less patient when we have to spend time waiting. I know I’m guilty of closing a webpage because it didn’t load within ten seconds. But I’m not the same way with most other aspects of life, because I know certain things take time (like cooking a good meal, or driving to the beach).

However, our children are growing up in a world filled with instant gratification. If they get too used to things being automated and happening “on demand,” they’ll have a hard time adjusting to the real world as they grow into young adults.

On the other hand, if parents limit their children’s use of technology and place ground rules around when and where they can use their iPad or laptop, they’ll learn much more than they would given free reign of the electronics in the household.

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4. Lack of exercise

It doesn’t take much to prove that sitting in front of a screen all day results in a sedentary lifestyle. And it will eventually become a vicious cycle that will be incredibly hard to break the older your child gets.

Children need to exercise every day. If parents don’t limit their children’s technology usage, they’ll spend all day sitting around the house, making up excuse after excuse as to why they can’t go outside and run around for a bit. Unfortunately, a lack of exercise at a young age could lead to exacerbated health problems as they grow.

5. Decreased test scores

The London School of Economics conducted a study of 130,000 school children, and found that test scores increase when schools put a limit on technology. Across the board, scores rose 6.4% when phones were banned in high schools.

Underachieving students actually faced a 14% increase in scores when their phones were disallowed in school. One of the main contributing factors to such a drastic increase is that students were no longer distracted on a minute-by-minute basis by their phone vibrating with constant Facebook updates and incoming text messages.

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Again, while electronics can serve a purpose in the classroom as a learning tool, if used incorrectly, they can be a huge disruption to the learning process.

6. Lack of human connection

Another study was recently conducted by researchers at UCLA  which focused on the use of technology and its effects on children’s ability to socialize face-to-face. Two groups of children were studied: one was a group of sixth grade students who were enrolled in a week-long educational camp which did not have any access to electronic devices, and the other group of sixth graders were kids who were left to their own devices, as it were.

After the week had ended, each group was shown pictures of people’s faces as they exhibited different emotions. The children who attended the technology-free camp performed significantly better at identifying the correct emotion shown. They were much more adept at picking out facial and non-verbal cues than their cohort who had spent the week using technology as they pleased.

If we want our children to understand the importance of communicating with each other in a personable manner, we need to begin by limiting their access to technology.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm8.staticflickr.com

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Published on September 21, 2018

11 Smart Pieces of Advice to Help You Thrive as a Single Mother

11 Smart Pieces of Advice to Help You Thrive as a Single Mother

Becoming a mother is one of the most difficult challenges a woman can take on in her life. Whether this happens the “natural” way, with the help of science, or through adoption, being in charge of nurturing another human being is a herculean task to take on.

Typically, when we think about parenthood, we imagine two parents sharing the responsibility and having each other to lean on. However, according to the 2016 U.S. Census Bureau, 1 in 4 children under the age of 18 are being raised by a single mother.[1] This is a significant portion of the population that often gets overlooked.

If you are one of these mothers raising your children on your own, you are undoubtedly aware of the additional challenges that motherhood has placed upon you, including the constant struggle to find sufficient time, energy, money, and support.

For single mothers who find themselves bogged down by their daily responsibilities and struggle to stay afloat, don’t be fooled by the belief that you have to do all. It is possible to thrive and live as a single mother if you take advantage of all available resources and adjust your priorities based on your situation.

1. Find your community and ask for help

As the sole caretaker of your kids, going through the successes and struggles of parenthood can feel isolating and lonely. You have probably developed a strong sense of independence because you’ve had to go at it alone.

Being self-reliant is necessary in many situations that you have to face, but do not fool yourself into thinking that you don’t need support from others. If you have family nearby, strengthen your relationship with them by visiting and talking more often. Find time to catch up with old friends or co-workers, and don’t assume they don’t want to hang out if they are not parents themselves.

Would you prefer finding mom friends[2] who have more in common with you? Use resources like apps, Facebook groups, and community events to meet local moms in your area.

After you have established a support group that you can depend on, don’t be afraid to ask for help. It is NOT a sign of weakness or incompetency to admit you can’t do it all, and others are probably more willing to lend a hand than you think.

If you feel uncomfortable burdening others, suggest trading favors such as taking turns babysitting. Because after all, helping is each other is what community is all about.

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2. Make peace with the past

Before you can move forward, you must make peace with your past and not let it define you or rule your life. Whether your journey to single motherhood was through divorce, death, or never having a relationship the father, it is crucial that you leave behind the feelings of abandonment or betrayal you may be struggling with.

You cannot change the past and the hurt you had to endure, but you can use the strength that you gained from overcoming those obstacles to work towards making the best life for yourself and your child. Learn from the past but live in the present and look towards the future.

3. Make plans and set goals

The daily repetition of trying to balance work and home life can make you feel like you are on operating on autopilot. However, it is imperative to set goals for yourself and to keep working towards self-improvement.

In your personal life, you can set a fitness goal (train for a 5k), a reading goal (read 20 books in a year), or a travel goal (take a trip to Europe). At your job, you can set career goals such as gain leadership experience, get a promotion, or earn a degree or certificate.

Spend time creating a realistic plan to on how you can go about achieving these goals. Not only will working towards these goals make you a more well-rounded and successful person, they will bring more purpose and fulfillment to your life.

4. Look for role models

A great way to jump start your plans for the future is to find a role model or mentor who is further along in their life or career experience. This person can be a great resource when you need guidance on what types of goals to set for yourself and how to achieve them.

It’s also important to have people to turn to for encouragement during difficult seasons of life. Someone who has been through it before can provide the most genuine reassurance that tough times will get better and that staying positive is best approach.

5. Rethink your priorities

Single parents have twice as many responsibilities to take care of, so priorities and expectations must be adjusted accordingly.

Know that you are not superwoman and striving for a perfectly clean home, no dirty laundry, and home-cooked meals for your kids every day is not a reasonable expectation. It’s okay to take shortcuts sometimes, like serving your kids cereal for dinner or waiting until the next day to wash the dishes.

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Don’t compare yourself to anyone else and let go of the guilt that you feel for being the only parent that your kids can count on. Give yourself a break and don’t sweat the small stuff.

6. Make time for me time

Even though it can be difficult to find, making time for yourself is critical to maintaining your sanity and well-being. Without a built-in partner to take over, finding time to be away from the kids must be done intentionally and planned in advance.

If you are sharing custody, use the time away from your kids not only doing productive things but also making sure you are taking care of yourself. Sleep, exercise, and balanced diet are not things that can get pushed to the bottom of the priority list. Also make time for fun activities, such as hobbies and creative outlets.

Even though being a mother is the most important job you have, don’t let it be the only thing that defines you. Time for yourself is more difficult to find if you are the sole caretaker of your kids.

Use the resources that you have to devote time to self-care, and you and your kids will thank you for it in the long run.

7. Stay organized

With so many things to juggle, great organizational skills are an absolute must in order to keep everything moving smoothly. Use apps such as Mint for your finances, Mealime for meal planning, and Cozi as a family organizer for everything from appointments and shopping lists to after school activities.

Maintain constant contact if you are sharing custody so that it is clearly communicated who will be responsible for what when it comes to your kids. Follow consistent routines in the morning and nighttime so that your kids also know what to expect on a daily basis.

8. Be flexible (Don’t be a control freak)

Although it is important to be prepared and stay organized, things don’t always go according to plan.

When kids get sick and have to stay home or babysitters cancel at the last minute, allow for flexibility by having a contingency plan for childcare and with your employer.

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For example, make a list of people you can call when you need last minute childcare, or talk to your boss in advance about working from home when emergencies come up.

Most of all, don’t let unexpected changes stress you out and ruin your day.

9. Learn to say no (Don’t feel guilty)

Single mothers have limitations in time, energy and resources that families with two parents wouldn’t be able to understand. Because of these circumstances, it’s important you let go of feelings of guilt and stop trying to do everything and be everywhere.

You don’t have to say yes to every single birthday party your child is invited to. Your kids don’t have to be involved in sports and extracurricular activities every night of the week.

Limit the things you do to only the ones that are the most enjoyable and meaningful for you and your family. Doing more things does not make you a better mother; simply a more tired one.

10. Live within your means

When you have to raise your family on a single income, budgeting and spending within your means becomes more important than ever.

If you have outstanding debt that is accruing interest, make it a priority to pay those off as soon as possible. Outlining a budget is the best way to visualize how much money is being spent every month on various things and what is left over.

Find ways to save money on the necessities by looking for sales at the grocery store, buying some things secondhand, planning out meals.

After the necessary bills are paid, determine how much can be spent on luxury items such as eating out, vacations, and going to the movies.

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Don’t let finances be a source of anxiety for you and your family. Keep your bank account in good shape while teaching your kids how to spend money responsibly at the same time.

11. Spend quality time with your kids

The time you spend with your kids is so precious and much more limited as a single mother. Make the time that you spend with your kids count.

Rather than sitting in front of the TV, take them on fun and budget-friendly outings to the park, the playground, or a museum. Use meal times as the perfect excuse to ask them about what they are learning in school and the friends they spend time with.

When your kids ask you to play with them, look at it as a privilege and an opportunity to bond with them, rather than a distraction or waste of time. Be present when you are with them, with no work or multitasking on your mind. Your relationship with your kids will absolutely reap the benefits.

Final thoughts

Being a single mother is not an easy job. That’s why it’s important to use all the resources available to you in order to make this job a little bit easier.

Using technology, an organization system and a supportive community are just a few examples of things you should utilize to your benefit. It’s also important to shift your mindset and be more practical when it comes to things like priorities and finances.

Most of all, don’t forget about your own self care. Only when you take care of yourself can you best take care of the people you love.

Single mothers are some of the most hard-working people out there, and you deserve to have a happy and fulfilling life.

Featured photo credit: Alvaro Reyes via unsplash.com

Reference

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