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Even Steve Jobs Didn’t Let His Kids Use iPads: Why You Should Limit Technology Use for Your Kids

Even Steve Jobs Didn’t Let His Kids Use iPads: Why You Should Limit Technology Use for Your Kids

There’s no denying we live in a digital age. With a click of a button, we can access any bit of information ever known to humanity. With another click, we can end up wasting an hour of our day watching cats play piano. What I’m trying to say is that the prevalence of technology today is a double-edged sword.

While it’s easy enough for adults to become consumed by their iPads and smartphones, the real danger is raising children who are downright addicted to electronic screens. Even Steve Jobs, who invented all the best gadgets currently in your home, didn’t allow his children to use the iPad.

Others in the tech industry follow that same idea, sending their children to schools that strictly forbid the use of technology, instead encouraging face-to-face interaction and creative problem solving.

Though it might seem hypocritical for parents who utilize technology on a daily basis at their jobs to put a limit on their children’s use of the same technology, it’s hard to argue with the fact that using technology too much results in:

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1. A lack of creativity

When a young child plugs into the World Wide Web, everything is done for him. He can watch a cartoon, play a game, or get answers to his homework questions. If children are taught they can simply go to Google and get an answer to a question, they’ll more than likely stop trying to figure things out on their own. Especially if getting done quicker means they can go back to watching cartoons even sooner.

While it’s important to teach children how to use the Internet as a learning tool, it shouldn’t be the only method they use to solve problems. If they learn to rely too much on technology for answers, they’ll be completely lost when the technology is unavailable to them.

2. A lack of curiosity and passion

Along with a lack of curiosity, children who rely too much on technology will lose their passion for learning.

Remember before the Internet, when you wanted to know something, you actually had to spend a decent amount of time looking it up? You had to go to the library, find the right section, then the right book, then the right page…it took time! But when you finally got your answer, the entire experience left you feeling fulfilled. And that knowledge became part of your long-term memory.

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Now, if you need to know something, you can look it up immediately; and you’ll most likely forget it by the end of the day. Children need to understand that learning is a process. If we don’t limit their access to technology, they’ll never truly love to learn.

3. A lack of patience

Since information, communication, and entertainment are now available at the push of a button, we’re becoming less and less patient when we have to spend time waiting. I know I’m guilty of closing a webpage because it didn’t load within ten seconds. But I’m not the same way with most other aspects of life, because I know certain things take time (like cooking a good meal, or driving to the beach).

However, our children are growing up in a world filled with instant gratification. If they get too used to things being automated and happening “on demand,” they’ll have a hard time adjusting to the real world as they grow into young adults.

On the other hand, if parents limit their children’s use of technology and place ground rules around when and where they can use their iPad or laptop, they’ll learn much more than they would given free reign of the electronics in the household.

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4. Lack of exercise

It doesn’t take much to prove that sitting in front of a screen all day results in a sedentary lifestyle. And it will eventually become a vicious cycle that will be incredibly hard to break the older your child gets.

Children need to exercise every day. If parents don’t limit their children’s technology usage, they’ll spend all day sitting around the house, making up excuse after excuse as to why they can’t go outside and run around for a bit. Unfortunately, a lack of exercise at a young age could lead to exacerbated health problems as they grow.

5. Decreased test scores

The London School of Economics conducted a study of 130,000 school children, and found that test scores increase when schools put a limit on technology. Across the board, scores rose 6.4% when phones were banned in high schools.

Underachieving students actually faced a 14% increase in scores when their phones were disallowed in school. One of the main contributing factors to such a drastic increase is that students were no longer distracted on a minute-by-minute basis by their phone vibrating with constant Facebook updates and incoming text messages.

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Again, while electronics can serve a purpose in the classroom as a learning tool, if used incorrectly, they can be a huge disruption to the learning process.

6. Lack of human connection

Another study was recently conducted by researchers at UCLA  which focused on the use of technology and its effects on children’s ability to socialize face-to-face. Two groups of children were studied: one was a group of sixth grade students who were enrolled in a week-long educational camp which did not have any access to electronic devices, and the other group of sixth graders were kids who were left to their own devices, as it were.

After the week had ended, each group was shown pictures of people’s faces as they exhibited different emotions. The children who attended the technology-free camp performed significantly better at identifying the correct emotion shown. They were much more adept at picking out facial and non-verbal cues than their cohort who had spent the week using technology as they pleased.

If we want our children to understand the importance of communicating with each other in a personable manner, we need to begin by limiting their access to technology.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm8.staticflickr.com

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Matt Duczeminski

A passionate writer who shares lifestlye tips on Lifehack

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Published on February 11, 2021

3 Positive Discipline Strategies That Are Best For Your Child

3 Positive Discipline Strategies That Are Best For Your Child

I’m old enough to remember how the cane at school was used for punishment. My dad is old enough to think that banning corporal punishment in schools resulted in today’s poorly disciplined youth. With all of this as my early experiences, there was a time when I would have been better assigned to write about how to negatively discipline your child.

What changed? Thankfully, my wife showed me different approaches for discipline that were very positive. Plus, I was open to learning.

What has not changed is that kids are full of problems with impulses and emotions that flip from sad to happy, then angry in a moment. Though we’re not that different as adults with stress, anxiety, lack of sleep, and stimulants such as sugar and caffeine in our diets.

Punishment as Discipline?

What this means is that we usually take the easy path when a child misbehaves and punish them. Punishment may solve an isolated problem, but it’s not really teaching the kids anything useful in the long term.

Probably it’s time for me to be clear about what I mean by punishment and discipline as these terms are often used interchangeably, but they are quite different.

Discipline VS. Punishment

Punishment is where we inflict pain or suffering on our child as a penalty. Discipline means to teach. They’re quite the opposite, but you’ll notice that teachers, parents, and coaches often confuse the two words.

So, as parents, we have to have clear goals to teach our kids. It’s a long-term plan—using strategies that will have the longest-lasting impact on our kids are the best use of our time and energy.

If you’re clear about what you want to achieve, then it becomes easier to find the best strategy. The better we are at responding when our kids misbehave or do not follow our guidance, the better the results are going to be.

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3 Positive Discipline Strategies for Your Child

Stay with me as I appreciate that a lot of people who read these blogs do not always have children with impulse control. We’ve had a lot of kids in our martial arts classes that were the complete opposite. They had concentration issues, hyperactive, and disruptive to the other children.

The easy solution is to punish their parents by removing the kids from the class or punish the child with penalties such as time outs and burpees. Yes, it was tempting to do all of this, but one of our club values is that we pull you up rather than push you down.

This means it’s a long-term gain to build trust and confidence, which is destroyed by constant punishments.

Here are the discipline strategies we used to build trust and confidence with these hyperactive kids.

1. Patience

The first positive discipline strategy is to simply be patient. The more patient you are, the more likely you are to get results. Remember I said that we need to build trust and connection. You’ll get further with this goal using patience.

As a coach, sometimes I was not the best person for this role, but we had other coaches in the club that could step in here. As a parent, you may not have this luxury, so it’s really important to recognize any improvements that you see and celebrate them.

2. Redirection

The second strategy we use is redirection. It’s important with a redirection to take “no” out of the equation. Choices are a great alternative.

Imagine a scenario where you’re in a restaurant and your kid is wailing. The hard part here is getting your child to stop screaming long enough for you to build a connection. Most parents have calming strategies and if you practice them with your child, they are more likely to be effective.

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In the first moment of calm, you can say “Your choice to scream and cry in public is not a good one. It would be best to say, Dad. What can I do to get ice-cream?” You can replace this with an appropriate option.

The challenge with being calm and redirecting is that we need to be clear-minded, focused, and really engaged at the moment. If you’re on your phone, talking with friends or family, thinking about work or the bills, you’ll miss this opportunity to discipline in a way that has long-term benefits.

3. Repair and Ground Rules

The third positive discipline strategy is to repair and use ground rules. Once you’ve given the better option and it has been taken, you have a chance to repair this behavior to lessen its occurrence to better yet, prevent it from happening again. And by setting appropriate ground rules, you can make this a long-term win by helping your child improve their behavior.

It’s these ground rules that help you correct the poor choices of your child and direct the behavior that you want to see.

Consequences Versus Ultimatums

When I was a child and being punished. My parents worked in a busy business for long hours, so their default was to go to ultimatums. “Do that again and you’re grounded for a week,” or “If I catch you doing X, you’ll go to bed without dinner”.

Looking back, this worked to a point. But the flip side is that I remembered more of the ultimatums than the happier times. I’ve learned through trial and error with my own kids that consequences are more effective while not breaking down trust.

What to Do When Ground Rules Get Broken?

It’s on the consequences that you use when the ground rules are broken.

In the martial arts class, when the hyperactive student breaks the ground rules. They would miss a turn in a game or go to the back of the line in a queue. We do not want to shame the child by isolating them. But on the flip side, there should be clear ground rules and proportionate consequences.

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Yes, there are times when we would like to exclude the student from the class, the club, and even the universe. Again, it’s here that patience is so important and probably impulse control too. With an attainable consequence, you can maintain trust and you’re more likely to get the long-term behavior that you’re looking to achieve.

Interestingly, we would occasionally hear a strategy from parents that little Kevin has been misbehaving at home with his sister or something similar. He likes martial arts training, so the parent would react by removing Kevin from the martial arts class as a punishment.

We would suggest that this would remove Kevin from an environment where he is behaving positively. Removing him from this is likely to be detrimental to the change you would like to see. He may even feel shame when he returns to the class and loses all the progress he’s made.

Alternatives to Punishment

Another option is to tell Kevin to write a letter to his sister, apologizing for his behavior, and explaining how he is going to behave in the future.

If your child is too young to write, give the apology face to face. For the apology to feel sincere, there is some value to pre-framing or practicing this between yourself and your child before they give it to the intended person.

Don’t expect them to know the ground rules or what you’re thinking! It will be clearer to your child and better received with some practice. You can practice along the lines of: “X is the behavior I did, Y is what I should have done, and Z is my promise to you for how I’m going to act in the future.” You can replace XYZ with the appropriate actions.

It does not need to be a letter or in person, it can even be a video. But there has to be an intention to repair the broken ground rule. If you try these strategies, that is become fully engaged with them and you’re still getting nowhere.

But what to do if these strategies do not work? Then there is plenty to gain by seeking the help of an expert. Chances are that something is interfering or limiting their development.

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This does not mean that your child has a neurological deficiency, although this may be the root cause. But it means that you can get an objective view and help on how to create the changes that you would like to see. Remember that using positive discipline strategies is better than mere punishment.

There are groups that you can chat with for help. Family Lives UK has the aim of ensuring that all parents have somewhere to turn before they reached a crisis point. The NSPCC also provides a useful guide to positive parenting that you can download.[1]

Bottom Line

So, there your go, the three takeaways on strategies you can use for positively disciplining your child. The first one is about you! Be patient, be present, and think about what is best for the long term. AKA, avoid ultimatums and punishment. The second is to use a redirect, then repair and repeat (ground rules) as your 3-step method of discipline.

Using these positive discipline strategies require you to be fully engaged with your child. Again, being impulsive breaks trust and you lose some of the gains you’ve both worked hard to achieve.

Lastly, consequences are better than punishment. Plus, avoid shaming, especially in public at all costs.

I hope this blog has been useful, and remember that you should be more focused on repairing bad behavior because being proactive and encouraging good behavior with rewards, fun, and positive emotions takes less effort than repairing the bad.

More Tips on How To Discipline Your Child

Featured photo credit: Leo Rivas via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] NSPCC Learning: Positive parenting

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