Have you ever met someone that was simply irresistible? You probably couldn’t put your finger on it, but there was just something about them that made you want to be around them. You caught yourself hanging onto every word they said, and would follow them to the ends of the Earth on a whim, just because they were so charming. They most likely exhibited some, if not all, of the following traits:
1. They treat others with respect
Charming people see everyone as equals, and they treat all people as such. Perhaps the reason some people are so charming to you is that you’re simply not used to being treated so well, and you might not even believe that you deserve it. In truth, you deserve all of it, but these charming individuals are the ones who recognize that, and it’s why you’re drawn to them.
2. They live by the Platinum Rule
We’ve all heard of the Golden Rule, but the Platinum Rule takes it a step further. Rather than treating others how they wish to be treated, charming people treat others the way those people want to be treated. When you think about it, the Golden Rule is inherently selfish, as those who abide by it are acting with their own interests in mind. Those who live by the Platinum Rule take others’ feelings into account, and treat individuals accordingly.
3. They engage in deep conversation
Charming people don’t waste time on small talk. They know that talking about the weather is no way to make a real connection, so they dive into deeper topics. By doing so, they get to know each person they meet on a much deeper level — getting to know their true interests, feelings, hopes, and dreams. This gives them a much deeper perspective about the world around them, which they carry into every relationship they forge.
4. They focus on individuals
Along with avoiding small talk in favor of deep conversation, charming people actually become invested in their conversations. They ask probing questions about others’ lives, and show a genuine interest in the answers. They also focus on other people, and don’t become distracted by their cell phone or the ball game on TV. It always feels good to be heard, and charming people make sure your voice is heard when you speak up.
5. They don’t dominate conversation
As I mentioned, charming people ask a lot of questions. Although they are generally interesting and have a lot to say, they also know when to let others have the floor. Some people are overly charismatic — to the point that they will drone on long after others have lost interest. Charming people know when to throw their two cents in, and then back up to let others have their say.
6. They recognize the difference between facts and opinions
Charming people don’t just spout their opinions as though they’re hard facts. Since they genuinely care what others have to say, they’re open to other perspectives and will be open-minded about topics going into a conversation. Of course, they will voice their opinions at times, but these will be backed up with facts gleaned from reliable sources. They don’t voice their opinions for the sake of arguing, but in order to continue healthy discussion.
7. They’re authentic
Most people can spot the difference between a true charmer and a phony. While a phony will often use their “charming” nature to further some ulterior motive, truly charming people make their intentions transparent from the get-go. Usually, these intentions are simply to further conversation or build up everyone else around them. You never have to watch what you say around a charming person, because you know they would never judge you.
8. They have integrity
Charming people don’t just talk the talk. They back up their words with actions. Anyone can say that they’re going to do something, but charming people follow through with real actions. They back up their promises with deeds in order to show they’re not just out to further themselves — they want what’s best for all those around them.
9. They exhibit welcoming body language
This relates to how charming people focus on the speaker and give them respect. They will make eye contact with you and smile as you converse, which shows that their mind isn’t elsewhere during lulls in the conversation. They show you that they’re not bored of your discussion by sitting up straight and giving you their full attention. Again, charming people don’t have to be the center of attention to show their charm; they exhibit charm in their actions as well.
10. They’re optimistic and love life
Charmers have a genuine interest in the world around them, and they share this intrigue with everyone they meet. Their optimism can be downright infectious. They can turn run-of-the-mill moments into unforgettable evenings with their suggestions; they’re always up for making every waking moment count. The reason charming people have such a following is simply because they encourage others to enjoy life by just being around.