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This Is Why Some People’s Personality Is Just So Charming

This Is Why Some People’s Personality Is Just So Charming

Have you ever met someone that was simply irresistible? You probably couldn’t put your finger on it, but there was just something about them that made you want to be around them. You caught yourself hanging onto every word they said, and would follow them to the ends of the Earth on a whim, just because they were so charming. They most likely exhibited some, if not all, of the following traits:

1. They treat others with respect

Charming people see everyone as equals, and they treat all people as such. Perhaps the reason some people are so charming to you is that you’re simply not used to being treated so well, and you might not even believe that you deserve it. In truth, you deserve all of it, but these charming individuals are the ones who recognize that, and it’s why you’re drawn to them.

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2. They live by the Platinum Rule

We’ve all heard of the Golden Rule, but the Platinum Rule takes it a step further. Rather than treating others how they wish to be treated, charming people treat others the way those people want to be treated. When you think about it, the Golden Rule is inherently selfish, as those who abide by it are acting with their own interests in mind. Those who live by the Platinum Rule take others’ feelings into account, and treat individuals accordingly.

3. They engage in deep conversation

Charming people don’t waste time on small talk. They know that talking about the weather is no way to make a real connection, so they dive into deeper topics. By doing so, they get to know each person they meet on a much deeper level — getting to know their true interests, feelings, hopes, and dreams. This gives them a much deeper perspective about the world around them, which they carry into every relationship they forge.

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4. They focus on individuals

Along with avoiding small talk in favor of deep conversation, charming people actually become invested in their conversations. They ask probing questions about others’ lives, and show a genuine interest in the answers. They also focus on other people, and don’t become distracted by their cell phone or the ball game on TV. It always feels good to be heard, and charming people make sure your voice is heard when you speak up.

5. They don’t dominate conversation

As I mentioned, charming people ask a lot of questions. Although they are generally interesting and have a lot to say, they also know when to let others have the floor. Some people are overly charismatic — to the point that they will drone on long after others have lost interest. Charming people know when to throw their two cents in, and then back up to let others have their say.

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6. They recognize the difference between facts and opinions

Charming people don’t just spout their opinions as though they’re hard facts. Since they genuinely care what others have to say, they’re open to other perspectives and will be open-minded about topics going into a conversation. Of course, they will voice their opinions at times, but these will be backed up with facts gleaned from reliable sources. They don’t voice their opinions for the sake of arguing, but in order to continue healthy discussion.

7. They’re authentic

Most people can spot the difference between a true charmer and a phony. While a phony will often use their “charming” nature to further some ulterior motive, truly charming people make their intentions transparent from the get-go. Usually, these intentions are simply to further conversation or build up everyone else around them. You never have to watch what you say around a charming person, because you know they would never judge you.

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8. They have integrity

Charming people don’t just talk the talk. They back up their words with actions. Anyone can say that they’re going to do something, but charming people follow through with real actions. They back up their promises with deeds in order to show they’re not just out to further themselves — they want what’s best for all those around them.

9. They exhibit welcoming body language

This relates to how charming people focus on the speaker and give them respect. They will make eye contact with you and smile as you converse, which shows that their mind isn’t elsewhere during lulls in the conversation. They show you that they’re not bored of your discussion by sitting up straight and giving you their full attention. Again, charming people don’t have to be the center of attention to show their charm; they exhibit charm in their actions as well.

10. They’re optimistic and love life

Charmers have a genuine interest in the world around them, and they share this intrigue with everyone they meet. Their optimism can be downright infectious. They can turn run-of-the-mill moments into unforgettable evenings with their suggestions; they’re always up for making every waking moment count. The reason charming people have such a following is simply because they encourage others to enjoy life by just being around.

Featured photo credit: Handsome traveling man takes selfie photo with wild monkeys in tropical jungle forest in Phuket, Thailand, Asia via shutterstock.com

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Matt Duczeminski

A passionate writer who shares lifestlye tips on Lifehack

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Last Updated on July 3, 2020

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

In today’s world, true peace must come from within us and our own actions. Here are 30 small things you can do on a regular basis to increase your overall sense of harmony, peace, and well-being:

1. Don’t go to every fight you’re invited to

Particularly when you’re around those who thrive on chaos, be willing to decline the invitation to join in on the drama.

2. Focus on your breath

Throughout the day, stop to take a few deep breaths. Keep stress at bay with techniques such as “square breathing.” Breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, then out for four counts, and hold again for four counts. Repeat this cycle four times.

3. Get organized and purge old items

A cluttered space often creates a cluttered spirit. Take the time to get rid of anything you haven’t used in a year and invest in organizational systems that help you sustain a level of neatness.

4. Stop yourself from being judgmental

Whenever you are tempted to have an opinion about someone else’s life, check your intentions. Judging others creates and promotes negative energy.

5. Say ‘thank you’ early and often

Start and end each day with an attitude of gratitude. Look for opportunities in your daily routine and interactions to express appreciation.

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6. Smile more

Even if you have to “fake it until you make it,” there are many scientific benefits of smiling and laughing. Also, pay attention to your facial expression when you are doing neutral activities such as driving and walking. Turn that frown upside down!

7. Don’t worry about the future

As difficult as this sounds, there is a direct connection between staying in the present and living a more peaceful life. You cannot control the future. As the old proverb goes, “Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.” Practice gently bringing your thoughts back to the present.

8. Eat real food

The closer the food is to the state from which it came from the earth, the better you will feel in eating it. Choose foods that grew from a plant over food that was made in a plant.

9. Choose being happy over being right

Too often, we sacrifice inner peace in order to make a point. It’s rarely worth it.

10. Keep technology out of the bedroom

Many studies, such as one conducted by Brigham and Women’s Hospital, have connected blue light of electronic devices before bed to adverse sleep and overall health. To make matters worse, many people report that they cannot resist checking email and social media when their cell phone is in reach of their bed, regardless of the time.

11. Make use of filtering features on social media

You may not want to “unfriend” someone completely, however you can choose whether you want to follow their posts and/or the sources of information that they share.

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12. Get comfortable with silence

When you picture someone who is the ultimate state of peace, typically they aren’t talking.

13. Listen to understand, not to respond

So often in conversations, we use our ears to give us cues about when it is our turn to say what we want to say. Practice active listening, ask questions, process, then speak.

14. Put your troubles in a bubble

Whenever you start to feel anxious, visualize the situation being wrapped in a bubble and then picture that sphere floating away.

15. Speak more slowly

Often a lack of peace manifests itself in fast or clipped speech. Take a breath, slow down, and let your thoughtful consideration drive your words.

16. Don’t procrastinate

Nothing adds stress to our lives like waiting until the last minute.

17. Buy a coloring book

Mandala coloring books for adults are becoming more popular because of their connection to creating inner peace.

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18. Prioritize yourself

You are the only person who you are guaranteed to live with 24 hours a day for the rest of your life.

19. Forgive others

Holding a grudge is hurting you exponentially more than anyone else. Let it go.

20. Check your expectations

Presumption often leads to drama. Remember the old saying, “Expectations are premeditated resentments.”

21. Engage in active play

Let your inner child come out and have some fun. Jump, dance, play, and pretend!

22. Stop criticizing yourself

The world is a hard enough place with more than enough critics. Your life is not served well by being one of them.

23. Focus your energy and attention on what you want

Thoughts, words, and actions all create energy. Energy attracts like energy. Put out what you want to get back.

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24. Assign yourself “complaint free” days.

Make a conscious decision not to complain about anything for a whole day. It might be harder than you think and the awareness will stick with you.

25. Surround yourself with people you truly enjoy being in the company of

Personalities tend to be contagious, and not everyone’s is worth catching. Be judicious in your choices.

26. Manage your money

Financial concerns rank top on the list of what causes people stress. Take the time each month to do a budget, calculate what you actually spend and sanity check that against the money you have coming in.

27. Stop trying to control everything

Not only is your inner control freak sabotaging your sense of peace, it is also likely getting in the way of external relationships as well.

28. Practice affirmations

Repeat positive phrases that depict the life and qualities you want to attract. It may not come naturally to you, but it works.

29. Get up before sunrise

Personally witnessing the dawn brings a unique sense of awe and appreciation for life.

30. Be yourself

Nothing creates more inner discord than trying to be something other than who we really are. Authenticity breeds happiness.

Featured photo credit: man watching sunrise via stokpic.com

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