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10 Secrets Of Charming, Irresistible People

10 Secrets Of Charming, Irresistible People

Being irresistible is no easy task, but what is it that sets the irresistible people around us apart from the rest of the pack? We all know that there is something special about these people, but often we can’t quite put our finger on it. Although good looks don’t hurt, being irresistibly charming involves something special on the inside. There are a few secrets that irresistibly charming, learn how to adopt them today.

1. Anyone can be irresistible

Irresistible people may seem like they have special gifts that allow them to seduce and influence anyone they meet, but in fact, they have many “secrets” that they have learned over their lifespan that allow them to attract others and get what they want. Perhaps the greatest secret of all is that anyone can be irresistible. Charm, charisma, and magnetism are all skills that you can develop over time no matter who you are today.Keep a goal of becoming more irresistible in mind and soon enough you will adopt habits that make you so.

2. Body language shows you are interested

Body language is just one of the skills that irresistible people have usually mastered. While most of us give little thought into the way we carry ourselves, how much we smile, when we make eye contact, and how we maintain our posture, an irresistible people knows how to carry themselves with the right body language.  they know exactly how important these things are in the way that other people perceive them. Things like facing people when they speak to you, standing or sitting up straight, and placing your arms relaxed at your sides can all convey interest and let people know that you want to know what they have to say.

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Some basics of body language skills include smiling, eye contact, and posturing. A smile makes people feel welcomed, happy, and accepted. Just smiling at anyone we meet can quickly boost or personal magnetism. Giving people eye contact conveys confidence, trustworthiness, and respect, and just by maintaining appropriate eye contact with others we can increase greatly enhance their perception of us.

3. Vocal skills are valuable

Have you ever heard a voice that quickly caught your attention, or listened to someone speak who had you mesmerized by the warmth of their words?  Irresistible people are often masters of vocal skills like resonance, timing, and proper use of emotion in their speech.Resonance refers to the skill of speaking in way that resonates through your entire body. Resonance can be achieved by standing up straight, opening your nasal passages, and trying to make each word form deep in your chest. By opening up our bodies and speaking through our chests, we can create a much richer and warmer sound with our voice. You can even try humming to understand the way it feels to have sound in your chest.

Timing in speech means using things like pauses to regroup, repeated words to emphasize, or even asking questions to increase engagement or allow for thought on a subject. Timing of your words and speech can help you keep people engaged, attracted, interested, or even amused. In addition, demonstrating emotion in our words we can help covey any emotion that we wish to show to the person we are speaking with.By using and showing our emotions through speech we can help draw closer to the people we interact with and form deeper connections.

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4. Empathy is a bridge to being irresistible

When you show how much you care about another person’s perspective, it makes you more charming to them. One of the ways you can made the most genuine of connections to to practice empathy by putting yourself in their shoes to understand their thoughts, emotions, and actions. By truly considering another person’s view, we can create strong bonds between ourselves and other people. Many people simply wont take the time to think about others, so just making people feel understood will go a long way towards increasing your own irresistibility.

5. Great listening skills draw people in.

Have you ever met someone that was an excellent listener? When someone opens up to you and listens to each word you say, it draws you out of your shell and into the open. People naturally will be compelled to share more with you, tell you more stories, and open up emotionally if they feel you are truly interested in what they say, but in order for this to work, you must actually care about what the person is saying. Interest really can’t be feigned, so actually find something to be interested about and listen intently.

6. Confidence is attractive

No matter what the situation, people will always be attracted to a confident person.  In bad situations people look to leaders who are confident enough to lead through challenge, and in good times people look towards confident people to encourage growth and creative thinking. Confidence makes other people feel secure, unchallenged, and encouraged, and all of these emotions will increase the desire of others to be around you.

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7. First impression is everything

A first impression can determine the entire future of events. It may not seem fair, but oftentimes, the first few moments we spend with someone will create the perception of who we are to another person. A bad first impression can take years to overcome as everything we do is seen through that bad interpretation of us. When creating a first impression, using other skills like smiling, making eye contact, and showing interest increases your level of charm.

8. You must be able to adapt to any situation.

The truly irresistible among us know how to attract others no matter the time or place. Whether it is a crowded bar, a workplace, or park, they know how to demonstrate a calm confidence, warmth, and the proper emotions for each individual situation.  You must carry yourself very differently at a job interview than you would on the beach on spring break, and irresistible people know how to blend in just enough to stand out. Adaptability and knowing how to read a situation makes you the most charming you can be in every situation.

9. You must be authentic and you must be yourself.

Irresistibility is often a byproduct of people being unique and different.  People are often attracted to others who display creative thoughts or think outside of the box.  Creativity and individuality are highly celebrated traits in the world, and the most irresistible people are those who embrace who they are and let it shine. Don’t act like someone you aren’t when your individuality is something to make you memorable and special in your own way.

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10. You should always find ways to relate to people.

Irresistible people know how to relate to others, and how to do it well.  When people are held in too high of esteem, they can often seem distant and indifferent, but true magnetism often occurs when you can make people feel like you are like them.  The more things someone feels they have in common with you, the more attracted to you they will become, and irresistible people know how to find common ground between many different people. No matter how different a person may be to you, finding commonalities is important in creating a solid foundation.

Featured photo credit: Michael Carian- Youmacon People via flickr.com

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Last Updated on July 8, 2020

How to Prevent Decision Fatigue From Clouding Your Judgement

How to Prevent Decision Fatigue From Clouding Your Judgement

What is decision fatigue? Let me explain this with an example:

When determining a court ruling, there are many factors that contribute to their final verdict. You probably assume that the judge’s decision is influenced solely by the nature of the crime committed or the particular laws that were broken. While this is completely valid, there is an even greater influential factor that dictates the judge’s decision: the time of day.

In 2012, a research team from Columbia University[1] examined 1,112 court rulings set in place by a Parole Board Judge over a 10 month period. The judge would have to determine whether the individuals in question would be released from prison on parole, or a change in the parole terms.

While the facts of the case often take precedence in decision making, the judges mental state had an alarming influence on their verdict.

As the day goes on, the chance of a favorable ruling drops:

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    Image source: Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences

    Does the time of day, or the judges level of hunger really contribute that greatly to their decision making? Yes, it does.

    The research went on to show that at the start of the day the likelihood of the judging giving out a favorable ruling was somewhere around 65%.

    But as the morning dragged on, the judge became fatigued and drained from making decision after decision. As more time went on, the odds of receiving a favorable ruling decreased steadily until it was whittled down to zero.

    However, right after their lunch break, the judge would return to the courtroom feeling refreshed and recharged. Energized by their second wind, their leniency skyrockets back up to a whopping 65%. And again, as the day drags on to its finish, the favorable rulings slowly diminish along with the judge’s spirits.

    This is no coincidence. According to the carefully recorded research, this was true for all 1,112 cases. The severity of the crime didn’t matter. Whether it was rape, murder, theft, or embezzlement, the criminal was more likely to get a favorable ruling either early in the morning, or after the judges lunch break.

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    Are You Suffering from Decision Fatigue Too?

    We all suffer from decision fatigue without even realizing it.

    Perhaps you aren’t a judge with the fate of an individual’s life at your disposal, but the daily decisions you make for yourself could hinder you if you’re not in the right head-space.

    Regardless of how energetic you feel (as I imagine it is somehow caffeine induced anyway), you will still experience decision fatigue. Just like every other muscle, your brain gets tired after periods of overuse, pumping out one decision after the next. It needs a chance to rest in order to function at a productive rate.

    The Detrimental Consequences of Decision Fatigue

    When you are in a position such as a Judge, you can’t afford to let your mental state dictate your decision making; but it still does. According to George Lowenstein, an American educator and economy expert, decision fatigue is to blame for poor decision making among members of high office. The disastrous level of failure among these individuals to control their impulses could be directly related to their day to day stresses at work and their private life.

    When you’re just too tired to think, you stop caring. And once you get careless, that’s when you need to worry. Decision fatigue can contribute to a number of issues such as impulse shopping (guilty), poor decision making at work, and poor decision making with after work relationships. You know what I’m talking about. Don’t dip your pen in the company ink.

    How to Make Decision Effectively

    Either alter the time of decision making to when your mind is the most fresh, or limit the number of decisions to be made. Try utilizing the following hacks for more effective decision making.

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    1. Make Your Most Important Decisions within the First 3 Hours

    You want to make decisions at your peak performance, so either first thing in the morning, or right after a break.

    Research has actually shown that you are the most productive for the first 3 hours[2] of your day. Utilize this time! Don’t waste it on trivial decisions such as what to wear, or mindlessly scrolling through social media.

    Instead, use this time to tweak your game plan. What do you want to accomplish? What can you improve? What steps do you need to take to reach these goals?

    2. Form Habits to Reduce Decision Making

    You don’t have to choose all the time.

    Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but it doesn’t have to be an extravagant spread every morning. Make a habit out of eating a similar or quick breakfast, and cut that step of your morning out of the way. Can’t decide what to wear? Pick the first thing that catches your eye. We both know that after 20 minutes of changing outfits you’ll just go with the first thing anyway.

    Powerful individuals such as Steve Jobs, Barack Obama, and Mark Zuckerberg don’t waste their precious time deciding what to wear. In fact, they have been known to limiting their outfits down to two options in order to reduce their daily decision making.

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    3. Take Frequent Breaks for a Clearer Mind

    You are at your peak of productivity after a break, so to reap the benefits, you need to take lots of breaks! I know, what a sacrifice. If judges make better decisions in the morning and after their lunch break, then so will you.

    The reason for this is because the belly is now full, and the hunger is gone. Roy Baumeister, Florida State University social psychologist[3] had found that low-glucose levels take a negative toll on decision making. By taking a break to replenish your glucose levels, you will be able to focus better and improve your decision making abilities.

    Even if you aren’t hungry, little breaks are still necessary to let your mind refresh, and come back being able to think more clearly.

    Structure your break times. Decide beforehand when you will take breaks, and eat energy sustaining snacks so that your energy level doesn’t drop too low. The time you “lose” during your breaks will be made up in the end, as your productivity will increase after each break.

    So instead of slogging through your day, letting your mind deteriorate and fall victim to the daily abuses of decision making, take a break, eat a snack. Let your mind refresh and reset, and jump-start your productivity throughout the day.

    More Tips About Decision Making

    Featured photo credit: Kelly Sikkema via unsplash.com

    Reference

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