Advertising
Advertising

10 Secrets Of Charming, Irresistible People

10 Secrets Of Charming, Irresistible People

Being irresistible is no easy task, but what is it that sets the irresistible people around us apart from the rest of the pack? We all know that there is something special about these people, but often we can’t quite put our finger on it. Although good looks don’t hurt, being irresistibly charming involves something special on the inside. There are a few secrets that irresistibly charming, learn how to adopt them today.

1. Anyone can be irresistible

Irresistible people may seem like they have special gifts that allow them to seduce and influence anyone they meet, but in fact, they have many “secrets” that they have learned over their lifespan that allow them to attract others and get what they want. Perhaps the greatest secret of all is that anyone can be irresistible. Charm, charisma, and magnetism are all skills that you can develop over time no matter who you are today.Keep a goal of becoming more irresistible in mind and soon enough you will adopt habits that make you so.

2. Body language shows you are interested

Body language is just one of the skills that irresistible people have usually mastered. While most of us give little thought into the way we carry ourselves, how much we smile, when we make eye contact, and how we maintain our posture, an irresistible people knows how to carry themselves with the right body language.  they know exactly how important these things are in the way that other people perceive them. Things like facing people when they speak to you, standing or sitting up straight, and placing your arms relaxed at your sides can all convey interest and let people know that you want to know what they have to say.

Advertising

Some basics of body language skills include smiling, eye contact, and posturing. A smile makes people feel welcomed, happy, and accepted. Just smiling at anyone we meet can quickly boost or personal magnetism. Giving people eye contact conveys confidence, trustworthiness, and respect, and just by maintaining appropriate eye contact with others we can increase greatly enhance their perception of us.

3. Vocal skills are valuable

Have you ever heard a voice that quickly caught your attention, or listened to someone speak who had you mesmerized by the warmth of their words?  Irresistible people are often masters of vocal skills like resonance, timing, and proper use of emotion in their speech.Resonance refers to the skill of speaking in way that resonates through your entire body. Resonance can be achieved by standing up straight, opening your nasal passages, and trying to make each word form deep in your chest. By opening up our bodies and speaking through our chests, we can create a much richer and warmer sound with our voice. You can even try humming to understand the way it feels to have sound in your chest.

Timing in speech means using things like pauses to regroup, repeated words to emphasize, or even asking questions to increase engagement or allow for thought on a subject. Timing of your words and speech can help you keep people engaged, attracted, interested, or even amused. In addition, demonstrating emotion in our words we can help covey any emotion that we wish to show to the person we are speaking with.By using and showing our emotions through speech we can help draw closer to the people we interact with and form deeper connections.

Advertising

4. Empathy is a bridge to being irresistible

When you show how much you care about another person’s perspective, it makes you more charming to them. One of the ways you can made the most genuine of connections to to practice empathy by putting yourself in their shoes to understand their thoughts, emotions, and actions. By truly considering another person’s view, we can create strong bonds between ourselves and other people. Many people simply wont take the time to think about others, so just making people feel understood will go a long way towards increasing your own irresistibility.

5. Great listening skills draw people in.

Have you ever met someone that was an excellent listener? When someone opens up to you and listens to each word you say, it draws you out of your shell and into the open. People naturally will be compelled to share more with you, tell you more stories, and open up emotionally if they feel you are truly interested in what they say, but in order for this to work, you must actually care about what the person is saying. Interest really can’t be feigned, so actually find something to be interested about and listen intently.

6. Confidence is attractive

No matter what the situation, people will always be attracted to a confident person.  In bad situations people look to leaders who are confident enough to lead through challenge, and in good times people look towards confident people to encourage growth and creative thinking. Confidence makes other people feel secure, unchallenged, and encouraged, and all of these emotions will increase the desire of others to be around you.

Advertising

7. First impression is everything

A first impression can determine the entire future of events. It may not seem fair, but oftentimes, the first few moments we spend with someone will create the perception of who we are to another person. A bad first impression can take years to overcome as everything we do is seen through that bad interpretation of us. When creating a first impression, using other skills like smiling, making eye contact, and showing interest increases your level of charm.

8. You must be able to adapt to any situation.

The truly irresistible among us know how to attract others no matter the time or place. Whether it is a crowded bar, a workplace, or park, they know how to demonstrate a calm confidence, warmth, and the proper emotions for each individual situation.  You must carry yourself very differently at a job interview than you would on the beach on spring break, and irresistible people know how to blend in just enough to stand out. Adaptability and knowing how to read a situation makes you the most charming you can be in every situation.

9. You must be authentic and you must be yourself.

Irresistibility is often a byproduct of people being unique and different.  People are often attracted to others who display creative thoughts or think outside of the box.  Creativity and individuality are highly celebrated traits in the world, and the most irresistible people are those who embrace who they are and let it shine. Don’t act like someone you aren’t when your individuality is something to make you memorable and special in your own way.

Advertising

10. You should always find ways to relate to people.

Irresistible people know how to relate to others, and how to do it well.  When people are held in too high of esteem, they can often seem distant and indifferent, but true magnetism often occurs when you can make people feel like you are like them.  The more things someone feels they have in common with you, the more attracted to you they will become, and irresistible people know how to find common ground between many different people. No matter how different a person may be to you, finding commonalities is important in creating a solid foundation.

Featured photo credit: Michael Carian- Youmacon People via flickr.com

More by this author

10 Reasons Why You Should Date A Martial Artist 10 Secrets Of Charming, Irresistible People

Trending in Productivity

1 How Do You Change a Habit (According to Psychology) 2 How to Find Your Keystone Habits to Change Your Life 3 7 Steps to Start Living Your Dream Life Right Now 4 10 Reasons Personal Growth Is Important No Matter Your Age 5 5 Learning Management Systems (LMS) for Effective Learning

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on November 15, 2019

How Do You Change a Habit (According to Psychology)

How Do You Change a Habit (According to Psychology)

Habits are hard to kill, and rightly so. They are a part and parcel of your personality traits and mold your character.

However, habits are not always something over-the-top and quirky enough to get noticed. Think of subtle habits like tapping fingers when you are nervous and humming songs while you drive. These are nothing but ingrained habits that you may not realize easily.

Just take a few minutes and think of something specific that you do all the time. You will notice how it has become a habit for you without any explicit realization. Everything you do on a daily basis starting with your morning routine, lunch preferences to exercise routines are all habits.

Habits mostly form from life experiences and certain observed behaviors, not all of them are healthy. Habitual smoking can be dangerous to your health. Similarly, a habit could also make you lose out on enjoying something to its best – like how some people just cannot stop swaying their bodies when delivering a speech.

Thus, there could be a few habits that you would want to change about yourself. But changing habits is not as easy as it seems, why?

What Makes It Hard To Change A Habit?

To want to change a particular habit means to change something very fundamental about your behavior.[1] Hence, it’s necessary to understand how habits actually form and why they are so difficult to actually get out of.

The Biology

Habits form in a place what we call the subconscious mind in our brain.[2]

Our brains have two modes of operation. The first one is an automatic pilot kind of system that is fast and works on reflexes often. It is what we call the subconscious part. This is the part that is associated with everything that comes naturally to you.

Advertising

The second mode is the conscious mode where every action and decision is well thought out and follows a controlled way of thinking.

A fine example to distinguish both would be to consider yourself learning to drive or play an instrument. For the first time you try learning, you think before every movement you make. But once you have got the hang of it, you might drive without applying much thought into it.

Both systems work together in our brains at all times. When a habit is formed, it moves from the conscious part to the subconscious making it difficult to control.

So, the key idea in deconstructing a habit is to go from the subconscious to the conscious.

Another thing you have to understand about habits is that they can be conscious or hidden.

Conscious habits are those that require active input from your side. For instance, if you stop setting your alarm in the morning, you will stop waking up at the same time.

Hidden habits, on the other hand, are habits that we do without realizing. These make up the majority of our habits and we wouldn’t even know them until someone pointed them out. So the first difficulty in breaking these habits is to actually identify them. As they are internalized, they need a lot of attention to detail for self-identification. That’s not all.

Habits can be physical, social, and mental, energy-based and even be particular to productivity. Understanding them is necessary to know why they are difficult to break and what can be done about them.

Advertising

The Psychology

Habits get engraved into our memories depending on the way we think, feel and act over a particular period of time. The procedural part of memory deals with habit formation and studies have observed that various types of conditioning of behavior could affect your habit formations.

Classical conditioning or pavlovian conditioning is when you start associating a memory with reality.[3] A dog that associates ringing bell to food will start salivating. The same external stimuli such as the sound of church bells can make a person want to pray.

Operant conditioning is when experience and the feelings associated with it form a habit.[4] By encouraging or discouraging an act, individuals could either make it a habit or stop doing it.

Observational learning is another way habits could take form. A child may start walking the same way their parent does.

What Can You Do To Change a Habit?

Sure, habits are hard to control but it is not impossible. With a few tips and hard-driven dedication, you can surely get over your nasty habits.

Here are some ways that make use of psychological findings to help you:

1. Identify Your Habits

As mentioned earlier, habits can be quite subtle and hidden from your view. You have to bring your subconscious habits to an aware state of mind. You could do it by self-observation or by asking your friends or family to point out the habit for your sake.

2. Find out the Impact of Your Habit

Every habit produces an effect – either physical or mental. Find out what exactly it is doing to you. Does it help you relieve stress or does it give you some pain relief?

Advertising

It could be anything simple. Sometimes biting your nails could be calming your nerves. Understanding the effect of a habit is necessary to control it.

3. Apply Logic

You don’t need to be force-fed with wisdom and advice to know what an unhealthy habit could do to you.

Late-night binge-watching just before an important presentation is not going to help you. Take a moment and apply your own wisdom and logic to control your seemingly nastily habits.

4. Choose an Alternative

As I said, every habit induces some feeling. So, it could be quite difficult to get over it unless you find something else that can replace it. It can be a simple non-harming new habit that you can cultivate to get over a bad habit.

Say you have the habit of banging your head hard when you are angry. That’s going to be bad for you. Instead, the next time you are angry, just take a deep breath and count to 10. Or maybe start imagining yourself on a luxury yacht. Just think of something that will work for you.

5. Remove Triggers

Get rid of items and situations that can trigger your bad habit.

Stay away from smoke breaks if you are trying to quit it. Remove all those candy bars from the fridge if you want to control your sweet cravings.

6. Visualize Change

Our brains can be trained to forget a habit if we start visualizing the change. Serious visualization is retained and helps as a motivator in breaking the habit loop.

Advertising

For instance, to replace your habit of waking up late, visualize yourself waking up early and enjoying the early morning jog every day. By continuing this, you would naturally feel better to wake up early and do your new hobby.

7. Avoid Negative Talks and Thinking

Just as how our brain is trained to accept a change in habit, continuous negative talk and thinking could hamper your efforts put into breaking a habit.

Believe you can get out of it and assert yourself the same.

Final Thoughts

Changing habits isn’t easy, so do not expect an overnight change!

Habits took a long time to form. It could take a while to completely break out of it. You will have to accept that sometimes you may falter in your efforts. Don’t let negativity seep in when it seems hard. Keep going at it slowly and steadily.

More About Changing Habits

Featured photo credit: Mel via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next