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10 Things Only People Who Seldom Get Angry Would Understand

10 Things Only People Who Seldom Get Angry Would Understand

There are many instances in life where your patience and temper will constantly be tested. Take for instance the scenario where someone cuts you off in traffic, takes the parking space you were waiting for, or messes up paperwork that you just meticulously placed in order. When these types of daily instances occur, it is natural and somewhat easy to lose our tempers and yell at the parties responsible for the violations. However, there are individuals who find the best course of action to be remaining level-headed and maintaining composure. For these individuals, to get mad would be too easy, and they would rather react in a civil manner and decide the best course of action. For those who get angry easily, it is not wrong to display emotions, but those who seldom get angry choose to handle frustrating situations in a different manner.

1. They are more understanding

Before reacting to a situation, individuals who seldom get angry attempt to understand the position of the conflicting party. They realize that it would be easy to react angrily to a situation, but they attempt to understand the variables that created the situation. It is not always easy to understand the motives of everyone, but they do their best to get to the root cause of a conflict. In addition, when they realize that the misunderstanding was a mistake, they are usually more compassionate and let the problem become a learning situation.

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2. They find themselves focused on solutions

How many times in life have you been subjected to a parent, coach, or boss with a face flushed in anger and yelling commands in response to an issue that comes up? When you stop and think about the situation, what is really solved by yelling at someone or demanding change through a raised voice? After all the yelling, the problem still exists and nothing has progressed towards a solution. People who seldom react with anger, focus on solving the issue as soon as it occurs. All yelling at people will do is create anger and make them not want to work with the team. Instead, use the time to focus on creating steps towards the solution and deciding the best course of action.

3. They are misunderstood as not caring enough

One of the most common misconceptions about people who don’t display strong emotions and remain calm is that they lack passion or care. This can be completely unfair and frustrating to people who remain calm in the face of pressure. Just because someone doesn’t display strong emotion outwardly, doesn’t mean that they aren’t internalizing the issue. Most calm individuals are amongst the most passionate about their work, hobbies, and everyday life. However, they understand the need to maintain a solid foundation and be reasonable.

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4. They are mistaken as pushovers

Sometimes people mistake calm individuals as pushovers or too nice. This couldn’t be further from the truth. People who rarely react with anger are some of the strongest people you will ever come across. Don’t be deceived into thinking that they won’t mind if you try to take advantage or use them for your benefit. They may not react angrily, but they will usually stand up for themselves in a stern manner.

5. They are usually the most reasonable in their social circles

Every social circle is comprised of many different personality types. There are emotional, sensitive, logical, and mellow types. The mellow types are usually the most easygoing and get along with everyone in the group. When there is a tough decision to be made or if a conflict arises in the group, the mellow individual will be at the center attempting to solve the issue. This is because they usually hold a diplomatic temperament and like to hear all sides out before reaching a conclusion.

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6. They know that reacting angrily won’t solve anything

Huffing and puffing, pacing back and forth across a room doesn’t accomplish much. You internalize something hastily until you work yourself into an anger fueled tirade. All that you are doing is negatively affecting your own mood, which clouds your best judgment and decision making ability. Many times people overreact to a situation that really isn’t as problematic or shouldn’t be cared about as much. By reacting with anger, you are simply keeping yourself stagnant.

7. They know they control their reactions

The calm mannered individual knows that they can only control so much in life. You can’t control the actions of others or the world around you. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “life is 90% the way you react to what happens to you.” You simply need to understand the cards that you have been dealt. In order to be strong-willed, you need to control your reactions and emotions. The way you react and adapt to problematic situations helps build the character you wish to become.

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8. They realize it’s not always easy to remain so calm

It is not always so easy to remain civil when we feel slighted or taken advantage of. Many assume that mellow people are always so happy and never feel frustrated. However, it is easily one of the hardest things to do in life when faced with conflict and problems. Everyday life is full of troubles, and they realize that burdening others with their problems or losing control is not beneficial. By angrily creating a scene, you are showing that you have lost control of a situation.

9. They learn to not be manipulated

This is easily connected to the idea that people who seldom get angry are mistakenly thought of as pushovers. Sometimes mellow people are seen as people who can be easily fooled or deceived due to their calm disposition. However, they can usually detect when others are attempting to use or take advantage of them. Instead of reacting angrily, they will usually cut off contact with offending parties.

10. They make the best leaders

Individuals who maintain a cool demeanor can be looked towards in times of distress or conflict. They realize that anger and conflict does not build teams or motivate individuals to work towards a goal. In order to be productive and a leader, you need to remain calm and hold your frame. Even though they might not be the most emotional, they still demonstrate passion in other ways. It is always important to portray a level-headedness, and the person who seldom reacts with anger understands this. Their level-headedness can be a calming trait in a leader.

Featured photo credit: The 99Fridays Bartenders/Joi Ito via imcreator.com

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Mark Ortega

Professor of English

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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