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10 Things Only People Who Seldom Get Angry Would Understand

10 Things Only People Who Seldom Get Angry Would Understand

There are many instances in life where your patience and temper will constantly be tested. Take for instance the scenario where someone cuts you off in traffic, takes the parking space you were waiting for, or messes up paperwork that you just meticulously placed in order. When these types of daily instances occur, it is natural and somewhat easy to lose our tempers and yell at the parties responsible for the violations. However, there are individuals who find the best course of action to be remaining level-headed and maintaining composure. For these individuals, to get mad would be too easy, and they would rather react in a civil manner and decide the best course of action. For those who get angry easily, it is not wrong to display emotions, but those who seldom get angry choose to handle frustrating situations in a different manner.

1. They are more understanding

Before reacting to a situation, individuals who seldom get angry attempt to understand the position of the conflicting party. They realize that it would be easy to react angrily to a situation, but they attempt to understand the variables that created the situation. It is not always easy to understand the motives of everyone, but they do their best to get to the root cause of a conflict. In addition, when they realize that the misunderstanding was a mistake, they are usually more compassionate and let the problem become a learning situation.

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2. They find themselves focused on solutions

How many times in life have you been subjected to a parent, coach, or boss with a face flushed in anger and yelling commands in response to an issue that comes up? When you stop and think about the situation, what is really solved by yelling at someone or demanding change through a raised voice? After all the yelling, the problem still exists and nothing has progressed towards a solution. People who seldom react with anger, focus on solving the issue as soon as it occurs. All yelling at people will do is create anger and make them not want to work with the team. Instead, use the time to focus on creating steps towards the solution and deciding the best course of action.

3. They are misunderstood as not caring enough

One of the most common misconceptions about people who don’t display strong emotions and remain calm is that they lack passion or care. This can be completely unfair and frustrating to people who remain calm in the face of pressure. Just because someone doesn’t display strong emotion outwardly, doesn’t mean that they aren’t internalizing the issue. Most calm individuals are amongst the most passionate about their work, hobbies, and everyday life. However, they understand the need to maintain a solid foundation and be reasonable.

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4. They are mistaken as pushovers

Sometimes people mistake calm individuals as pushovers or too nice. This couldn’t be further from the truth. People who rarely react with anger are some of the strongest people you will ever come across. Don’t be deceived into thinking that they won’t mind if you try to take advantage or use them for your benefit. They may not react angrily, but they will usually stand up for themselves in a stern manner.

5. They are usually the most reasonable in their social circles

Every social circle is comprised of many different personality types. There are emotional, sensitive, logical, and mellow types. The mellow types are usually the most easygoing and get along with everyone in the group. When there is a tough decision to be made or if a conflict arises in the group, the mellow individual will be at the center attempting to solve the issue. This is because they usually hold a diplomatic temperament and like to hear all sides out before reaching a conclusion.

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6. They know that reacting angrily won’t solve anything

Huffing and puffing, pacing back and forth across a room doesn’t accomplish much. You internalize something hastily until you work yourself into an anger fueled tirade. All that you are doing is negatively affecting your own mood, which clouds your best judgment and decision making ability. Many times people overreact to a situation that really isn’t as problematic or shouldn’t be cared about as much. By reacting with anger, you are simply keeping yourself stagnant.

7. They know they control their reactions

The calm mannered individual knows that they can only control so much in life. You can’t control the actions of others or the world around you. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “life is 90% the way you react to what happens to you.” You simply need to understand the cards that you have been dealt. In order to be strong-willed, you need to control your reactions and emotions. The way you react and adapt to problematic situations helps build the character you wish to become.

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8. They realize it’s not always easy to remain so calm

It is not always so easy to remain civil when we feel slighted or taken advantage of. Many assume that mellow people are always so happy and never feel frustrated. However, it is easily one of the hardest things to do in life when faced with conflict and problems. Everyday life is full of troubles, and they realize that burdening others with their problems or losing control is not beneficial. By angrily creating a scene, you are showing that you have lost control of a situation.

9. They learn to not be manipulated

This is easily connected to the idea that people who seldom get angry are mistakenly thought of as pushovers. Sometimes mellow people are seen as people who can be easily fooled or deceived due to their calm disposition. However, they can usually detect when others are attempting to use or take advantage of them. Instead of reacting angrily, they will usually cut off contact with offending parties.

10. They make the best leaders

Individuals who maintain a cool demeanor can be looked towards in times of distress or conflict. They realize that anger and conflict does not build teams or motivate individuals to work towards a goal. In order to be productive and a leader, you need to remain calm and hold your frame. Even though they might not be the most emotional, they still demonstrate passion in other ways. It is always important to portray a level-headedness, and the person who seldom reacts with anger understands this. Their level-headedness can be a calming trait in a leader.

Featured photo credit: The 99Fridays Bartenders/Joi Ito via imcreator.com

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Mark Ortega

Professor of English

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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