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10 Things Only Stubborn People Would Understand

10 Things Only Stubborn People Would Understand

If you are reading this, you probably fit in one of two categories: you know someone extremely stubborn and you want to read this to see if it matches their actions or you are the stubborn person that people know and you are going to smile and silently agree that you do these things. Here are ten things that only stubborn people will understand and friends of stubborn people will recognize.

1. They have said sorry five times in their lifetime – if that

Apologies are something that is said if they truly mean it and even then, it comes out like coughing up a hairball of needles. When someone that insists they are right over and over again and then finally apologizes to you, consider it as a precious gift. Some people can knock over their neighbor’s motorcycle and refuse to apologize.

2. They can be counted on to finish things

When they have an idea in their brain about a certain project or goal, don’t try to stop them or tell them they can’t. They will personally go out of their way to prove you are wrong. Just when you thought it was not physically possible to do a ten page assignment in two hours, they prove you wrong and get an A on it.

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3. They hate when you hang up or walk away

This is going to be the worst thing that you can do when talking to someone who is stubborn. One of two things will happen when you hang up on them. One: they will call you back until you listen to what they have to say. Two: if you ignore their call, they will text you their point they need to prove or blow up our phone until you call them back. Never walk away from someone who is stubborn enough not to agree to disagree. Why? Because they will follow you, I know from personal experience. They will follow you all… the… way… home.

4. They will take you on an adventure (even if you don’t want to go)

If you have ever been in the car with someone that does not want to admit they are wrong, you have probably been on a car ride that was supposed to take fifteen minutes and it turned into an hour. There is no such thing as stopping for directions because everyone is going to give you wrong directions. They do not want help from you or your GPS either. The thing that gets you to believe them that they know where they are going is that they are so sure in their brains that they know the right way that their voice sounds as sure as the one one coming from your GPS (which is a computer that has calculated the way using an actual map).

5. Their closets are usually not in order all the time

This is mostly for the women that are extremely stubborn. They wake up with a particular outfit in mind and that is what they will wear. They don’t care if they have to turn their closet inside out, lift their bed up or wait for the dryer to wear the outfit they had a vision of when they woke up. Nothing else will work.

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6. Their arguments are explosive and dangerous, so relationships can be hard

Relationships are hard enough to find and maintain. What happens when you add one stubborn person? It is really difficult to maintain. What happens when you have two stubborn people? Things are explosive and almost impossible. It is often easier to drive a stick shift in reverse up a steep hill and park it than it is to resolve a conflict with both people think that they are right and do not want to apologize. If there is an apology, it is something that will take a lifetime to get to and there will definitely be some bitterness.

7. They have the Google search bar on their home page

Google is the best and worst tool invented. Have you ever sat around talking and then something comes up that sparks a debate? You can take something as simple as, “It was from this movie” and they disagree. You are completely sure that it is and then they pull out their phone and prove their point. Most of the time, they are right, but oh… is it an amazing feeling to see someone prove themselves wrong.

8. They do their own thing

Usually this is something that can complicate the work environment or a group project. Here is what usually happens: you tell them that they need to do it this way and they will nod their head as you are telling them what to do and make you think that they understand. Then soon after, you see the doing what they wanted to do in the beginning.

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9. They consider help kryptonite

Rarely, stubborn people do not like asking for help. It is a sign of weakness and they will not accept it. Unless, of course, they really need it. If you want to see it for yourself, invite one of your stubborn friends to help you put together an Ikea dresser and bet that they cannot do it without the directions. Here’s a tip, bring out a glass of wine and occasionally offer to help by reading the directions to them.

10. They can be either the best teammate or the worst

Was it a foul? The ref said no but we are all going to sit around for ten minutes and hear about how it was a foul. Depending on which team you are on will determine if you think this is a good quality or a bad one.

11. They are tricky friends to keep

This is because they are so hard headed, staying friends with someone who is stubborn is pretty hard because of the “no apologizing thing”.

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12. They can hold grudges longer than your mother has been alive

They may say they forgive you, but they will always remember that one time that you told them they were wrong.

Featured photo credit: Stubborn/ Ann and Heidi via flickr.com

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Margielyn Musser

Event And Volunteer Coordinator / World Traveler

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Last Updated on September 18, 2020

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

1. Take a step back and evaluate

When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

  1. What is the problem?
  2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
  3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
  4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
  5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

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2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

4. Process your thoughts/emotions

Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

  1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
  2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
  3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
  4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

5. Acknowledge your thoughts

Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

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Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

6. Give yourself a break

If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

As Helen Keller once said,

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

  1. What’s the situation?
  2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
  3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
  4. Take action on your next steps!

After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

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12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

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