Advertising
Advertising

10 Reasons Engineers Make Good Partners

10 Reasons Engineers Make Good Partners

Ahh engineers. They are a breed of their own. Some of the smartest people out there, combined with a personality that can be confusing at first, if you are a free spirit, fly by the seat of your pants type like me. But once you understand them, you realize there are major pluses to having one as your partner.

1. They are extremely organized

It’s no secret that engineers tend to be somewhat particular about where their things go. They like to have easy access, up-to-date technology, working solutions, and organization in their world. Perhaps their idea of organization is not the same as yours, but being with an engineer means respecting their ways, as intruding in their system can be disruptive to their balance and ability to be productive. And you will enjoy leading an organized life with your loved one.

2. They know how to handle high-pressure and stressful situations well

Engineers encounter a lot of high stress situations at work, and they know they can’t lose their minds. This is actually a great thing for you if you are the partner of this logical type, because that means he or she won’t join you on the emotional rollercoaster, and instead be a calming force in the relationship.

Advertising

3. They absorb information quickly

Men and women in the engineering profession acquire acute attention to detail. Not only does this mean they will want that specific type of cheese and will go to the store late at night just to get it, it also means they will remember special dates, things you said, small details, and be extremely thoughtful when in a relationship. They won’t necessarily show it in the lovey-dovey way – but they will remember to get you that one thing for your birthday you mentioned briefly months ago, and not even make a big fuss about it.

4. They make amazing teachers

Engineers have the ability to take a lot of information, and condense it into a few words. Working with a lot of data everyday, they have to categorize what’s important and what’s not, since prioritizing their efforts and energy is of the utmost importance when focusing on a project. This translates into their relationships as well. If you are lucky to be dating an engineer, or married to one like me, your household will not be one of many words, but the words will be very meaningful.

5. They have no problem committing to someone, or to something

Engineers are some of the most dedicated people, and they will work on one thing until it’s perfect. Committing to such a demanding career shows that they are not short-sighted, and this can translate to how they view their personal relationships as well. They don’t like to waste time with too many relationships, and would rather have more serious, quality partnerships. Quality over quantity can ring very true with this group.

Advertising

6. They are actually very creative

The myth that engineers are math nerds could not be further from the truth. Engineers actually have to be very creative to come up with solutions for impossible problems on a daily basis. This sort of creativity requires a lot of brain power however, so many engineers blow off steam by doing something else creative, like playing an instrument, painting, or working on a “fun” project that tunes their ever-thinking brain out. Your home will never be a boring place.

7. They have the ability to think logically, think ahead, and make a plan

Being with an engineer means you always have a plan. Whether it’s for the weekend, your next trip, your meals, your future, or your finances. Sometimes it can be difficult to keep up with their level of brain organization, but you can rest assured that you are ultimately safe, and do not have to worry about a thing.

8. They are not lazy

Engineers never really rest. Even on their days “off”, they continue to engineer away in their mind. They may put off a project for a while to let the solution come to them, but they don’t give up and rarely get discouraged. They know there will be a solution – they just have to find it. This makes them incredible partners because they are willing to put work into solving your relationship problems until there is resolution.

Advertising

9. They have a lot of initiative, and re-engineer everyday problems to find better, more functional solutions

This does mean that you will find their “solutions” around the house. Solutions for leaky pipes, or solutions for the neighbor’s cat who keeps leaving presents in your lawn. Nevertheless, they solve everyday problems themselves, without having to call a professional. You can trust that if your house is flooding and the roof is on fire, they will figure something out.

10. They have an impressive ability to admit mistakes and re-work their approach

Because their work can require a lot of trial and error, engineers learn to rethink their strategies constantly. This translates nicely into relationships, as it makes them more likely to examine a behavior that may not be producing very good results (and making you mad), and look for ways to change it to achieve better results.

If you are lucky to have found yourself one of these gems, celebrate their qualities, appreciate their talents, show that you see how hard they work, and most of all, enjoy the perks of having such a thoughtful partner!

Advertising

Featured photo credit: Nathan Fertig via stocksnap.io

More by this author

10 Reasons Engineers Make Good Partners

Trending in Communication

1 11 Facts About Volunteering That Will Surely Impress You 2 How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them) 3 How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide) 4 The Hidden Power of Every Single Person Around You 5 The Purpose Of Friendship: The Only 4 Types Of Friends You Need In Life

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

Advertising

It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

Advertising

Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

Advertising

1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

Advertising

6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

Read Next