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8 Struggles Only Nice Guys Would Understand

8 Struggles Only Nice Guys Would Understand

There is a popular phrase that, “nice guys always finish last.” In the real world, where we all are, nothing is fair. This is what pushes nice guys to dealing with their emotions and pains in certain ways. But the truth is that being nice, although so hard a quality to be is an ethereal quality. Whether you are dealing with so many problems or not it is something you will learn to figure out along the way. Here are some struggles only nice guys would really understand.

1. You do everything without expecting something in return and people could take this for granted

You are not selfish. You don’t want something in return for those nice things you do. It is not as if you love playing the fool if others take your emotions and your goodness for granted, rather you simply want to deal with being your complete self as you shower goodness upon others. When you are buying chocolates or taking someone special out for dinner you are doing it because it is an attribute rather than a motive. Sometimes these motives will not be treated in the same manner but you have to accept such struggle.

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2. You will sometimes be misunderstood

People can’t figure you out. Why are you so nice or trying to please everyone? Since this is not a norm in today’s world people can’t understand you. But it is not just that people can’t understand you. You can’t understand why you do the things you do. Truth is that it is just part of your being and while you are okay with it, the world is not okay with it.

3. You keep getting disappointed

While you try to please others and make them contend, you really won’t be able to determine other people’s feelings about you. Because some people wear a mask and a cover who they are and it becomes hard not to be hurt or disappointed by those who simply want to take and never give you anything in return. Yet you have to learn from each passing experience and continue striving to be there for only people who matter.

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4. You are sometimes too nice

Yes things that shouldn’t be taken too far in the pursuit of being nice may be exaggerated by you. When you are too nice, you may sometimes pass up for being utterly stupid. Stupidity makes people irritated. Selfishness is sometimes appropriate in the right dosage. But when you are after a girl or something you want, being nice is everything for you. And such exaggeration becomes a burden to yourself and those people around you.

5. You are being owed a lot of times

Since people know you are so nice, they keep running to you. And if something is borrowed from you, it is hard for you to get it back. Because people know you are nice, why pay you back anyways?

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6. You keep getting stuck with your character

Yes you expect the world will change and someday adjust to your standards. However that is untrue. You are only living in your own ideology. Rather than adapt and change to suit the world you prefer waiting for the world to change and adapt to you.

7. You get exhausted from being nice

Every now and then you try to strike a balance with being nice to others and taking good care of yourself. But most times it doesn’t work well for you. You simply are exhausted from being nice sometimes. You become frustrated about the concept and you start asking yourself more questions.

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8. You can’t really focus on yourself

Truth is that you deserve more than you are being given. Unfortunately you are focusing on the world before you rather than on yourself. Since most times nice guys find it hard to be with people who genuinely appreciate them, you end up spending and offering to the world more than you will ever get for yourself.

Featured photo credit: http://www.flickr.com via flickr.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on March 5, 2021

Science Says People Who Talk To Themselves Are Geniuses

Science Says People Who Talk To Themselves Are Geniuses

I talk a lot to myself. It helps me to keep my concentration on the activity on hand, makes me focus more on my studies, and gives me some pretty brilliant ideas while chattering to myself; more importantly, I produce better works. For example, right now, as I am typing, I am constantly mumbling to myself. Do you talk to yourself? Don’t get embarrassed admitting it because science has discovered that those who talk to themselves are actually geniuses… and not crazy!

Research Background

Psychologist-researcher Gary Lupyan conducted an experiment where 20 volunteers were shown objects, in a supermarket, and were asked to remember them. Half of them were told to repeat the objects, for example, banana, and the other half remained silent. In the end, the result shown that self-directed speech aided people to find the objects faster, by 50 to 100 milliseconds, compared to the silent ones.

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“I’ll often mutter to myself when searching for something in the refrigerator or the supermarket shelves,” said Gary Lupyan.

This personal experience actually made him conduct this experiment. Lupyan, together with another psychologist, Daniel Swigley, came up with the outcomes that those to talk to oneself are geniuses. Here are the reasons:

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It stimulates your memory

When you are talking to yourself, your sensory mechanism gets activated. It gets easier on your memory since you can visualize the word, and you can act accordingly.[1]

It helps stay focused

When you are saying it loud, you stay focused on your task,[2] and it helps you recognise that stuff immediately. Of course, this only helps if you know what the object you are searching looks like. For example, a banana is yellow in colour, and you know how a banana looks like. So when you are saying it loud, your brain immediately pictures the image on your mind. But if you don’t know what banana looks like, then there is no effect of saying it loud.

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It helps you clarify your thoughts

Every one of us tends to have various types of thoughts. Most make sense, while the others don’t. Suppose you are furious at someone and you feel like killing that person. Now for this issue you won’t run to a therapist, will you? No, what you do is lock yourself in a room and mutter to yourself. You are letting go off the anger by talking to yourself, the pros and cons of killing that person, and eventually you calm down. This is a silly thought that you have and are unable to share it with any other person. Psychologist Linda Sapadin said,[3]

“It helps you clarify your thoughts, tend to what’s important and firm up any decisions you are contemplating.”

Featured photo credit: Girl Using Laptop In Hotel Room/Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

Reference

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