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8 Struggles Only Nice Guys Would Understand

8 Struggles Only Nice Guys Would Understand

There is a popular phrase that, “nice guys always finish last.” In the real world, where we all are, nothing is fair. This is what pushes nice guys to dealing with their emotions and pains in certain ways. But the truth is that being nice, although so hard a quality to be is an ethereal quality. Whether you are dealing with so many problems or not it is something you will learn to figure out along the way. Here are some struggles only nice guys would really understand.

1. You do everything without expecting something in return and people could take this for granted

You are not selfish. You don’t want something in return for those nice things you do. It is not as if you love playing the fool if others take your emotions and your goodness for granted, rather you simply want to deal with being your complete self as you shower goodness upon others. When you are buying chocolates or taking someone special out for dinner you are doing it because it is an attribute rather than a motive. Sometimes these motives will not be treated in the same manner but you have to accept such struggle.

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2. You will sometimes be misunderstood

People can’t figure you out. Why are you so nice or trying to please everyone? Since this is not a norm in today’s world people can’t understand you. But it is not just that people can’t understand you. You can’t understand why you do the things you do. Truth is that it is just part of your being and while you are okay with it, the world is not okay with it.

3. You keep getting disappointed

While you try to please others and make them contend, you really won’t be able to determine other people’s feelings about you. Because some people wear a mask and a cover who they are and it becomes hard not to be hurt or disappointed by those who simply want to take and never give you anything in return. Yet you have to learn from each passing experience and continue striving to be there for only people who matter.

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4. You are sometimes too nice

Yes things that shouldn’t be taken too far in the pursuit of being nice may be exaggerated by you. When you are too nice, you may sometimes pass up for being utterly stupid. Stupidity makes people irritated. Selfishness is sometimes appropriate in the right dosage. But when you are after a girl or something you want, being nice is everything for you. And such exaggeration becomes a burden to yourself and those people around you.

5. You are being owed a lot of times

Since people know you are so nice, they keep running to you. And if something is borrowed from you, it is hard for you to get it back. Because people know you are nice, why pay you back anyways?

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6. You keep getting stuck with your character

Yes you expect the world will change and someday adjust to your standards. However that is untrue. You are only living in your own ideology. Rather than adapt and change to suit the world you prefer waiting for the world to change and adapt to you.

7. You get exhausted from being nice

Every now and then you try to strike a balance with being nice to others and taking good care of yourself. But most times it doesn’t work well for you. You simply are exhausted from being nice sometimes. You become frustrated about the concept and you start asking yourself more questions.

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8. You can’t really focus on yourself

Truth is that you deserve more than you are being given. Unfortunately you are focusing on the world before you rather than on yourself. Since most times nice guys find it hard to be with people who genuinely appreciate them, you end up spending and offering to the world more than you will ever get for yourself.

Featured photo credit: http://www.flickr.com via flickr.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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