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8 Struggles Only Nice Guys Would Understand

8 Struggles Only Nice Guys Would Understand

There is a popular phrase that, “nice guys always finish last.” In the real world, where we all are, nothing is fair. This is what pushes nice guys to dealing with their emotions and pains in certain ways. But the truth is that being nice, although so hard a quality to be is an ethereal quality. Whether you are dealing with so many problems or not it is something you will learn to figure out along the way. Here are some struggles only nice guys would really understand.

1. You do everything without expecting something in return and people could take this for granted

You are not selfish. You don’t want something in return for those nice things you do. It is not as if you love playing the fool if others take your emotions and your goodness for granted, rather you simply want to deal with being your complete self as you shower goodness upon others. When you are buying chocolates or taking someone special out for dinner you are doing it because it is an attribute rather than a motive. Sometimes these motives will not be treated in the same manner but you have to accept such struggle.

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2. You will sometimes be misunderstood

People can’t figure you out. Why are you so nice or trying to please everyone? Since this is not a norm in today’s world people can’t understand you. But it is not just that people can’t understand you. You can’t understand why you do the things you do. Truth is that it is just part of your being and while you are okay with it, the world is not okay with it.

3. You keep getting disappointed

While you try to please others and make them contend, you really won’t be able to determine other people’s feelings about you. Because some people wear a mask and a cover who they are and it becomes hard not to be hurt or disappointed by those who simply want to take and never give you anything in return. Yet you have to learn from each passing experience and continue striving to be there for only people who matter.

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4. You are sometimes too nice

Yes things that shouldn’t be taken too far in the pursuit of being nice may be exaggerated by you. When you are too nice, you may sometimes pass up for being utterly stupid. Stupidity makes people irritated. Selfishness is sometimes appropriate in the right dosage. But when you are after a girl or something you want, being nice is everything for you. And such exaggeration becomes a burden to yourself and those people around you.

5. You are being owed a lot of times

Since people know you are so nice, they keep running to you. And if something is borrowed from you, it is hard for you to get it back. Because people know you are nice, why pay you back anyways?

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6. You keep getting stuck with your character

Yes you expect the world will change and someday adjust to your standards. However that is untrue. You are only living in your own ideology. Rather than adapt and change to suit the world you prefer waiting for the world to change and adapt to you.

7. You get exhausted from being nice

Every now and then you try to strike a balance with being nice to others and taking good care of yourself. But most times it doesn’t work well for you. You simply are exhausted from being nice sometimes. You become frustrated about the concept and you start asking yourself more questions.

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8. You can’t really focus on yourself

Truth is that you deserve more than you are being given. Unfortunately you are focusing on the world before you rather than on yourself. Since most times nice guys find it hard to be with people who genuinely appreciate them, you end up spending and offering to the world more than you will ever get for yourself.

Featured photo credit: http://www.flickr.com via flickr.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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