Ah, roomies! You love them; you hate them; you wish they would leave; you wish they would come home. All of this ambivalence makes you wonder if you are developing a split personality! Take heart – it’s not a psychosis; it’s just normal roommate existence. And, if you currently have a roommate or have had one, then you will understand all of the following:
1. You have masking tape and Scripto pens in the fridge and the food cupboard
Food items, after all, have to be labeled, if they are to have the life span the owner intends for them. And this especially goes for leftover Chinese and pizza.
2. You sometimes wish you could put a line down the middle of your shared bedroom with duct tape
It’s sort of like when you traveled in the back seat of the car with your sibling – keep your crap on your side of the room!
3. You come home, there is a sock on the bedroom doorknob…
…and you know you will be sleeping in the chair tonight. Oh well, it’s not like your roomie hasn’t done the same for you!
4. You decide to record “Criminal Minds” because you’ll be at work tonight…
…but there’s no recording space left, because “someone” has recorded 30 episodes of the “Housewives of New Jersey.”
5. You wonder who raised the “slob” you are living with
while they are wondering who raised the OCD neat freak they are living with.
6. You make a solo trip to the non-discount grocery store to splurge on your favorite Pepperidge Farm cookies
and you sneak in your room when roomie is at class so you can hide them in your special place. You eat them in the middle of the night, in the dark.
7. You carry your heavy load of dirty clothes to the laundry room, only to find items in there that are not yours
Someone thought they could sneak them in, and you would not discover it until they were washed, dried and ready to be folded.
8. You get up super early
to try to get your “one night stand” out of the apartment before your roommates wake up and have a good hard look at him/her.
9. You stay awake until an ungodly hour waiting for someone to come home.
Why? Because you are convinced the newest incarnation of Jack the Ripper is outside your window.
10. You discover your Pepperidge Farm cookies have been “hacked”
and you now have to find a new hiding place.
11. You find a “science experiment” in the fridge
and you wonder why your roommate is trying to make penicillin out of bread.
12. You get up in the middle of the night to pee, trying to be most considerate and quiet
until you stumble over some “stray human” on the floor.
13. You wonder why a full roll of toilet paper this morning is completely gone tonight, and the holder of extra rolls is empty
Whose job was it to buy toilet paper last week anyway?
14. You are looking for some quiet time to sleep or study
and your room has been turned into the equivalent of a party bus. Or your roommate is looking for quiet, and it’s your turn for the bus.
15. Your mom is in town for the day, and you bring her in for a quick visit
There’s that sock on the doorknob again, and the sounds coming from the bedroom are really obvious (and loud).
16. You are wondering why…
…the person with the 7 a.m. class never learned how to dress and brush his/her teeth in the dark.
17. You wonder why…
…your roommate is sending you a text when s/he is on the other side of the room.
18. You look for that favorite T-shirt, only to find it dirty and in your laundry basket
The problem is, you haven’t worn it since the last time you did laundry. It must be those naughty elves at work again!
19. Your college years are over, and you are packing up your things
There, in your underwear drawer, is a new bag of Pepperidge Farm cookies, and you realize how much you will miss this person you just spent the last four years loving and hating and loving again!
Featured photo credit: I hate dorm life via flickr.com