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How to Find Career Mentors More Easily

How to Find Career Mentors More Easily

In movies like Coach Carter and Remember the Titans, when the team is out of their depth and in need of direction, the coach comes in to pick up the team and set them right. Career mentors do the same thing. When you feel lost in your career, a mentor will be there to remind you what you’re fighting for and suggest how to get it. The greatest mentors will open doors to help you succeed.

Having great mentors is the best way for you to get your career moving and reach your goals as fast as possible. But, for many, finding a mentor seems like an awkward endeavor.

If you think finding a career mentor feels awkward, there’s a good chance you aren’t doing it right. Developing mentor/mentee relationships should feel as easy and fun as developing a friendship. Approaching possible mentors with this mentality makes all the difference.

Seek Out Friends, Not Mentors

Stop seeking out a mentor altogether. The entire idea of molding another person’s career, of being a mentor, sounds exhausting. Go ahead and imagine taking time from your busy day to develop someone else’s career.

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People are too busy developing their own career to respond to your plea that they take time help develop yours.

Rather than seeking out a mentor, it’s better to focus on simply touching base with others in the career you want to pursue. Then, after touching base, focus on creating friendships. Offer praise and seek advice, but never say “Will you mentor me?” Instead, become people’s friend and let those friendships grow into relationships that will grant you insight and education. These friends will mentor you without the title that makes the interaction feel like work.

Focus on Giving, Not Getting

Most people won’t want to stop what they’re doing to help you get a career underway. Doing so is difficult and takes a lot of time. On top of this, a lot of people asking for mentors aren’t worth the time. They’ll turn out to be lazy or incompetent, and only serve to add frustration to their mentor’s life. Harsh, but true.

This is why, rather than asking for something, it’s better to give something instead. What you have to offer will be unique to you. You may give insight, praise, or you may be able to offer an expertise you already have.

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When I started reaching out for my career as a writer, I gave the only thing I felt I could offer. A lot of praise. It was all genuine, but offering honest praise meant that I had to contact writers I truly admired. The risk of that rejection was scary, and I was lucky that all the writers I contacted for advice were responsive and eager to help a loyal reader get started.

Instead of contacting someone with the request for help, offer them something. Make your request secondary and they’ll appreciate that you’re putting them first.

Build Slowly, Don’t Rush It

Mentorship. It just sounds formal, doesn’t it? Like something you pay $20 an hour for. But by now, you know that effective mentoring shouldn’t be like that! You know that mentorships should be friendships, and friendships don’t develop from a single email or a 10 minute introduction. Instead, they develop slowly through continued interaction. Building a strong relationship is about offering praise, asking for advice, and discussing your ideas over time.

It’s slow, it requires restraint (especially when you’re approaching your role models), and it requires tact. But slowly-built relationships, made from occasional monthly emails or phone calls, are more versatile and reliable than relationships made from a collection of questions asked via cold call. So go slow: you have your whole life to succeed; don’t sabotage that success by rushing an important relationship.

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Remember There Are Other Ways

Taking it slow can drive you insane. I know because I’ve been there. You want a mentor so you can get coffee and spend hours picking their brains. But rushing a friendship with a mentor, and relying too heavily on them in the beginning, is a surefire way to push a mentor away. Instead of relying solely on someone to mentor you, it helps to use other resources to learn as you let your relationship incubate.

Books – Books are amazing tools when it comes to learning, and I already touched on the importance of reading in How to Remember More of What You Read. But it can’t be overstated.

Forums – These give you the opportunity to learn from others. You gain a sort of proto-mentorship, and you can see what problems others in your desired field are having. It’s always easier to learn from the mistakes of others, and this is a great mentor substitute.

Courses – Courses are a double whammy because you develop important knowledge while bolstering your resume and/or portfolio by gaining a new credential in the form of that course. Also, there are courses for everything! A quick Google search may blow your mind in terms of the number of possible courses there are out there.

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Return the Favor

Finally, after you’ve gotten a mentor and your relationship is solidified, make sure to remember these times when you’re down the road. Someday someone will be asking for your help. Remember when you felt lost and don’t let your success and busy schedule keep you from offering the helping hand you needed at one point in your life.

Mentoring not only grows the mentee, but it grows the mentor as well.

Do you have a mentor? How did the two of you develop your relationship? What tips do you have for other people looking for a mentor in their desired field?

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

How to Be Happy at Work and Find Fulfillment in Your Career

How to Be Happy at Work and Find Fulfillment in Your Career

If you’re going to spend 1/3 of our life at work, you should enjoy it, right?

Trust me, I know that’s easier said than done. Difficult coworkers, less-than-desirable tasks, or even just being in the wrong position can all lead to a lack of enjoyment and fulfillment in your work.

But what if I told you it doesn’t have to be this way? Or better yet, if you struggle with all of the above (and then some), what if I told you that enjoying your work and finding fulfillment regardless of those obstacles is possible?

Don’t believe me? I don’t blame you because I was there too. Before implementing the tips below, I struggled to get through each day, much less find real fulfillment, in the office. Now, even after the toughest days on the job, I still come away with feelings of pride, accomplishment, and fulfillment. The best news is, so can you.

If you’re ready to make those hours count and find happiness and fulfillment in the office, then read on to find out how to be happy at work and find fulfillment in your career:

1. Discover the root(s) of the problem

For this first step, we’ll need to think back to 8th-grade physics (humor me). We all know Newton’s 3rd law, “for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” When you think about it, the same can be said outside of physics, and we see this law play out in our daily lives, day after day.

Simply put, all the issues we deal with in the office (and life in general) affect us in a noticeable way.

If you’re appreciated at work, like the work you do and receive frequent praise, promotions, or raises, then this will probably have an altogether positive effect on your life in the office.

But what if we reverse this? What if you feel under appreciated, get passed up for promotions, or get denied raises? This is sure to affect the way you feel at work on a negative level.

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So, before you can implement the steps of feeling happy and fulfilled at work, we first have to discover the reasons why you don’t feel that way already.

Think about it, write a list, or make a mental note. Run through all the reasons you’re dissatisfied in the office, and don’t hold back. Knowing the exact obstacles you’re facing will make overcoming them that much easier.

In fact, as a side-challenge to this article, I recommend picking the top three reasons contributing to your dissatisfaction at work and using the following tips to tackle them.

2. Practice gratitude for an instant uplift

Did you know the simple act of feeling grateful can increase your happiness and make you more fulfilled at work?[1]

Well, it’s true, and it’s scientifically proven.

Dr. Lisa Firestone notes that practicing gratitude “reminds us of what we lacked in the past.” Meaning, it serves as both a boost to happiness and a bit of a wake-up call that things have been or could be, much worse.

Trying to conjure up feelings of gratitude can seem almost impossible when your work situation seems bleak, but hear me out: There are incredibly easy ways to get started and it doesn’t involve trying to “force” yourself to feel grateful about things that stress you out.

For an instant pick-me-up, try this:

Find a loose piece of paper, a blank sticky note, or anything you can write on, be it physical or digital. List just three things that you are absolutely without-a-doubt thankful for in your life.

Now here’s the trick: Don’t just list what you’re grateful for, you have to list why you’re grateful for them, too.

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For example, simply saying “I’m grateful for my kids” will probably make you feel good, sure, but what if we could amplify the warm, fuzzy feeling into real, lasting motivation?

Instead, write the reason you’re so thankful for your children. Is it because they make you laugh and forget about other stressors? Or maybe they help to remind you of why you go to work every day in the first place?

Whatever your reasons may be, jot them down and keep your list somewhere you can see it while you work. A quick glance at your gratitude list throughout the day can provide powerful, positive motivation to keep going.

Bonus:

If you can find just three things to be thankful for that specifically relate to your job, and list why those things make you grateful, your list can also help you find fulfillment in your work itself which can give you an even bigger boost of positivity throughout the day.

3. Take meaningful time for yourself

We all know creating a strong work-life balance can be crucial to feeling satisfied in our jobs, but rarely do we ever address how we’re spending our time outside of work.

Many of us survive a 9-hour work day and commute home only to find ourselves busy with our personal to-do lists, running a household, and taking care of a child (or 2 or 3, and so on).

If you spend all your time working, whether in the office or within your household, you’re going to feel drained at some point. This is why setting meaningful time for yourself every day is highly important.

Look, I get it: I don’t know anyone in the working world who can shun all responsibility for a 3-movie marathon or happy hour with friends whenever they feel like it. But finding time for yourself, be it just 30 minutes to an hour, can really make a difference in how you feel at work.

This works because you’ll have time to actually relax and let the day’s stress melt away while you enjoy something just for you. The to-do lists and stressors will still be there after you’re refreshed and ready to tackle them.

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No time for me-time? Try this:

If you have a busy household, you’ll need to capitalize on a block of time you know will be completely uninterrupted. The easiest way to do this: try waking up 30 minutes to an hour earlier than usual (or push bedtime back an hour if you’re a night owl, like me) and take time to do something you enjoy.

This could be reading with a cup of tea, catching up on Facebook, spending time on a passion project—anything! As long as it’s meaningful to you, it works!

Bonus:

Starting your day with meaningful time for yourself can set you up to have a positive mood that lasts well into office hours, and having your me-time in the evening can give you something positive to look forward to during the day.

4. Get productive and feel accomplished

Don’t you just love the feeling of checking the last item off of a hefty to-do list? That’s because self-motivation can be a huge driver of positivity and success.

When we accomplish something, no matter how small, it makes us feel good, plain and simple. Applying this tactic to your daily work can be the motivator you need to find fulfillment during the daily office grind.

While there are tons of steps to get more done at work, I’ll share my personal favorite: Prioritizing.

Now, many people handle prioritizing differently. Some like to tackle the little tasks first so they can spend focused time on the big to-dos. Others like to knock out the big items first and get to the smaller ones when they can.

No matter which camp you’re in, you may be missing one crucial step: Time management.

So how’s this work? When you factor in the amount of time your priorities will take, it can transform your productivity ten-fold.

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Say you have three top priorities for the day. You might jump into the smaller ones or the bigger ones depending on your preferred method, and then find yourself out of time and bringing work home with you at the end of the day.

This is prevented when you factor in time. Knowing how long each item will take, or deliberately setting specific blocks of time for your priorities can help you accomplish more in the same 8-9 (or 12) hours that you typically spend at work.

Try this:

Take a look at your priorities and consider how long they should take. Pop into your Google calendar (or Filofax, whatever works for you) and schedule time to work on your priority items around any important meetings or events of the day.

The most important thing to remember is to stick to your dedicated time.

Often, when we know exactly how long we have to work on something (and honor this time limit), we’re motivated to get more done on time to avoid taking work home at the end of the day.

The bottom line

There’s no need to waste 1/3 of our lives feeling unsatisfied at work. Luckily, you now have the tools to get started, take back your time, and become happy and fulfilled at work again.

The only question is — which tip will you try first?

Featured photo credit: Ellyot via unsplash.com

Reference

[1]Psychology Today: The Healing Power of Gratitude

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