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9 Ways To Say No To Work Stress

9 Ways To Say No To Work Stress

You know the scene. You work a 16-hour day and you are stressed out. The fear of losing your job prevents you from refusing more work, projects and responsibilities. But what is the result? You are at high risk of suffering from depression, stress-related illnesses and your relationships suffer. You have set a dangerous precedent and your company may assume this is your normal workload.

One study by the UK mental health charity, Mind, found that more than 60% of those surveyed felt that management was of no help at all. The sad fact is that many line managers haven’t a clue as how to manage their employees. Your manager is not going to change but you are! Time to call a halt. Here are 9 ways to say no to work stress.

‘You can never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.’ – Christopher Columbus

1. You must make a choice

The work will not decrease. In fact, you can expect a tsunami and your boss will still be just as unsympathetic as before. This is why you have to make a choice now. Thinking that you have no choice but to slave away is like letting yourself sink into quicksand. Only you have the power to choose not to kill yourself.

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‘I promise you nothing is as chaotic as it seems. Nothing is worth your health. Nothing is worth poisoning yourself into stress, anxiety, and fear.’ – Steve Maraboli

2. Start prioritizing now

You have taken on too much and cannot finish all the projects within the set deadlines. Time to prioritize and start making a list. At the start of the day, make a list of everything you have to do, even the small stuff. Then decide what goes to the top, because of urgent deadlines. Then try and delegate any minor jobs. Resolve to check emails only at set times during the day. Avoid multitasking and reacting to work as it shows up.

At the end of the day, review your list and start to make a list for tomorrow. This is the method preferred by Paula Rizzo which you can see on the video here.

3. Learn how to say no

Your boss asks you to do another task. You are afraid of confrontation and you are worried that your colleagues may resent your refusal. But you are the one who is going to suffer. You are at risk of damaging your career when you make mistakes or miss yet another deadline. Here are some ways that you can say ‘no’ in the most assertive, yet diplomatic way:

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  • Mention one urgent project that is taking up all your time.
  • Suggest a different time limit for the proposed extra work.
  • Don’t use the word ‘no’ directly.
  • Don’t be apologetic or feel guilty.
  • Point out the risks of missing other more pressing deadlines.
  • Mention what you need help with to finish the most urgent task.
  • If you are nervous about a verbal refusal, ask for time to think about it and then reply by email, stating some of the reasons mentioned above.

4. Set boundaries

Make sure that you are getting breaks and having a decent lunch break. Avoid snacking at your desk. Think about working long hours. Is it worth it? Consider this:

  • Your productivity goes down as darkness falls.
  • You make more mistakes when tired.
  • You are putting your career at risk.
  • You are not managing your time properly.
  • Your mood gets worse and worse and damages relationships with colleagues.

5. Talk about the problem

Confide in a trusted colleague, friend or your partner. Try to examine what is happening. Are there ways that you can improve your work procedures?

6. Exercise

Make a firm decision to stop working at a certain time a few days of the week. Work out in the gym, go for a walk or meet a friend for a chat. Doing exercise will release the endorphins and automatically lift your mood. Remember that if you are tired, hungry or in a bad mood, your productivity will be negatively affected. It is much better to work shorter hours more efficiently.

7. Deal with anxiety

Let’s imagine you have to give a presentation and you are extremely nervous about it. Latest research suggests that trying to calm yourself may not be the best strategy. If you acknowledge that you are excited and get psyched up by accepting that, then surprising things begin to happen. The study done by the Harvard Business School suggests that the anxiety remains but the combination with the excitement seems to control the nerves. Participants who did this all performed better than those who were trying to calm down.

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You can experiment and see what works best for you. Many people still benefit in taking a calming supplement such as Bach’s Rescue Remedy or chamomile.

8. Take a holiday

You must be joking!  Look at the statistics. If people looked after their stress levels, just by taking time off or using their time better, then the economy would start to boom again. Estimates by the European Union have calculated that as much as 60% of lost days caused by absenteeism are due to stress-related illnesses.

The Britons work the longest hours in the whole of Europe and they have reached the unenviable record of putting in about 40 days of overtime every year which is unpaid!

9. Start with small changes

It is unlikely that your workload will be dramatically reduced, even if you threaten to leave. Your manager will not change either. The best solution is to start by making small changes, such as time management or learning how to say no to a crushing workload. You are in the frontline. Look after yourself. Nobody else will!

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‘It is not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.’ – Hans Selye

 

Featured photo credit: Sleeping pills/Dean via Flickr

More by this author

Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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Last Updated on July 2, 2020

13 Common Life Problems And How To Fix Them

13 Common Life Problems And How To Fix Them

In life, we encounter problems as we breathe. But it doesn’t get to us until we feel a major impact, and that’s when it becomes a source of concern, hurt, or sorrow.

Life problems, depending on their magnitude, can be clogs in the wheel of progress, and we may not be able to attain our full potential if we don’t learn to place our problems in the proper perspectives as suggested in Robert Schuller’s Tough Times Never Last.

In this article, I have identified some common areas where you will most likely face problems as you make progress towards reaching your full life potential. I have also suggested practical approaches in handling, managing, and solving such problems.

1. Financial Crisis

We live in an uncertain world and a financial crisis may come at different stages of life. While you should always anticipate and prepare for a financial crisis, it may still catch you off guard or the magnitude may be far more than any preparation you have made over the years.

It could be that you lost your job or a major investment, got slammed with a lawsuit that threatens your savings, or have your livelihood be affected by a major disaster. So what do you do when you are in a financial mess?

Solution

To overcome a financial crisis, you will have to come to terms with the crisis. Acknowledge and accept the situation and begin recovery by setting your financial priorities right.

The next thing to do is to identify the cause of the crisis. If it’s due to a job loss, then your effort should be directed at getting a new job. If it is having multiple debts, look for ways to consolidate your debt so that your monthly debt repayment can be consolidated into one instead of being burdened with multiple payments.

You can also sell some of your assets to raise money to save the situation, or look for a better job if you are earning less at your current job. Don’t hesitate to ask for help from family and friends if you need to.

2. Health Crisis

Another major problem that might come up in your life is a health crisis. This is not far-fetched because our body systems work round-the-clock, even when we are sleeping. As a result of this, and if you don’t maintain routine health habits, health deterioration might begin to set in. Things might even get serious if you don’t attend to it early.

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Solution

When you are facing a major health crisis, the first thing to do is to consider lifestyle changes. This includes cutting down on junks, eating healthy diets, exercising, breathing fresh air, taking some sun, etc.

Apart from the lifestyle changes, you have to seek quality medical help and make sure you get different opinions about the state of your health so you can get the best affordable care.

3. Relationship, Marriage, and Family

There may not be anything as sweet as love and family life, but it can also be the source of pain for some. Human imperfections in a relationship can cause a major crisis in life. This has been a stumbling block to many on their path to fulfillment.

Solution

The best thing to do is to prevent relationship problems from happening, but if they do happen, you need to face reality and begin to take steps towards addressing them. Do your best to keep the lines of communication open as this can help in strengthening your struggling relationship. Talk about the challenges with your partner and look for common grounds.

You can also arrange to see a counselor together or read books that address the specific challenges you are facing. The worst thing you can do is to end a relationship and that’s only when you have exhausted all other options.

4. Workplace

The workplace is supposed to be a place where we dutifully render the services for which we’ve been hired.

However, it is not impossible to face animosity at work—dealing with toxic people who would rather not see any good in what you do. It might be caused by differences in background, attitudes, and unhealthy competition that can result in personal conflicts. This can create undue stress and reduce productivity.

Solution

Be as professional as possible when dealing with toxic people. Be kind and show understanding, and try to avoid personal confrontation.

You can even try to reach out to the persons and invite them over for a coffee and get to understand their worldview. This can help you to connect with them at their level so that you can avoid unnecessary stress for yourself.

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5. Career Pressure

In your quest to become more successful, you will likely encounter work-related pressure. Such can come when trying to stabilize your career or climb the career ladder. It can also come as a result of overworking and having no life. Career pressure is one of the most common life problems.

Sometimes, it may be that the promotion you are working hard to get is not coming or positions you are qualified for are being offered to others. The pressure can get more intense when you find that most of your colleagues are moving ahead of you.

Solution

Check to find if you have personal or attitudinal problems. Some attitudinal problems can put you at a disadvantaged end. It may be poor communication, poor personal grooming, or poor relationship and networking skills. If it is any of these problems, then work on improving yourself in those areas.

You can also observe your colleagues who are succeeding and take note of what they are doing differently.

6. Unfair Treatment

We are in a world where some people often think they have some privileges over others and may want to exercise this thinking and treat others unfairly. If you find yourself in an environment where you are being oppressed or treated badly because of your race, gender, or current status, this can make you feel really bad and can also affect your psyche and productivity.

Solution

There is the temptation to decry your treatment, defend yourself, and demand a change immediately, but you should really wait for the right opportunity to do that.

When the time is right, reach out directly to the person or authority involved, and make it private. Meanwhile, you should be factual about the instances of your unfair treatments. Don’t just say it that you are being treated badly; give several undeniable instances.

Once you’ve made your grievances known politely, keep being you. If things don’t change, you can cocoon yourself in that environment. If you have an option to leave, you can do so as well.

7. Emptiness and Boredom

When you are in a rut, everything becomes normal, dull, unproductive, and yet difficult to change. This can lead to feelings of emptiness and boredom. This may not seem like a serious life problem, but it can have a great impact on your life.

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Solution

To overcome boredom and emptiness, break out of your routines, and deliberately create a new experience for yourself. If you can’t leave your job to find a new one, start doing other things that reflect your true passion. Sometimes, the things that give us the needed drive in life are not our day jobs.

8. Confusion

Confusion is described as a change in mental status in which a person is not able to think with their usual level of clarity.[1]. It is inherent in forgetfulness and lack of concentration.

It can be caused by different things including medical and environmental factors. It can also be due to the experience of a loss, a heartbreak, or abuse.

Solution

Don’t allow the situation to deteriorate into something more serious. Try to snap out of whatever experiences you have had that is causing confusion. Seek medical help if necessary or talk to a psychologist.

9. Friendship Problems

We need friends in our lives to rob minds and hang out together and even help us when we run into trouble. But many people have found themselves in serious trouble as a result of the company of friends they keep. They’ve experienced jealousy, backstabbing, and betrayal of trust. Some friends have even used the information freely provided in times of friendship to betray trust.

Solution

Don’t open up on everything to friends. Keep some information only to yourself. If you notice that a friend is working against you, confront them with the truth. Limit your interaction with them or get rid of such toxic friends completely.

10. Haunting Past

We all have pasts, and we might have done some crazy stuff in the past before we begin to live a more civilized and decent life. But sometimes, the past comes back haunting. It’s even worse when life problems of the past haunt you back and become problems of the present.

It may be that what you have done is now striking your conscience, keeping you awake at night. Or someone who knows about it is trying to use it against you, and it is standing in the way of your progress.

Solution

Be true to yourself and forgive yourself. If it is an issue with another person, you can reach out to the person to settle with them. If it is a secret that is now being leaked out, own up to it, take responsibility, and move on.

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11. Safety and Security

You may find yourself in an environment where there have been unexplained murder, gun violence, police brutality, insurgencies, and other life-threatening situations. This can make you feel like you might be the next victim. What should you do in this situation?

Solution

Ensure that you watch where you go and keep your home secure. You can also get involved in a neighborhood community watch to collectively find solutions to the threat. If the situation persists, you can move to a more secure location.

12. Failure

Failure can bring disappointment and can also slow the pace of progress. But failure is also part of life, and we have to learn to deal with it. But what do you do when an experience of failure weighs you down?

Solution

You can read a book or biography to get inspired by other people’s success stories.

13. Grief

No one loves to grief but we can’t totally shield ourselves from it. The loss of a loved one is painful and, if not properly handled, can lead to an emotional breakdown.

Solution

Take your time to express emotions. You can also pen an emotional tribute to the individual. Writing can help us bring out the feelings that cannot be expressed otherwise, and it helps us breathe a sigh of relief.

You can also cope with your grief by helping them to realize some of their unfulfilled dreams or do something in their honor. Lastly, while you think about your loss, you will still have to move on, accepting the fact that life is transient.

The Bottom Line

Problems are what make life worth living. They help us adapt to become tougher as we adapt to different situations. Always remember that whatever problem you are facing has a solution or, at least, a manageable approach.

Therefore, never allow your challenges to stop you from fulfilling your true potentials in life.

More Tips to Help You Get Unstuck

Featured photo credit: Danka & Peter via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Medicinet: Confusion: Symptoms & Signs

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