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10 Tricks To Make Connections With Basically Everyone (Like A Social Butterfly)

10 Tricks To Make Connections With Basically Everyone (Like A Social Butterfly)

Everyone feels isolated sometimes, no matter how many friends they have. We all want to learn to make connections with other people and the world around us. Here are 10 tips to break out of your lonely cocoon and become a social butterfly.

1. Don’t Be Fake

It’s pretty simple; don’t come across as an attention-seeking machine. Be a real, genuine person to the people you’re networking with. Don’t worry about how to impress people if it gets in the way of making connections that are genuine. The people who you want to have a relationship with are eventually going to meet the real you, so be honest and present that person right away.

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2. Be Attentive

People like to be listened to, so listen closely. The best way to get to know someone is to just let them tell you about themselves, so you don’t want to hoard the conversation. Give them plenty of time to speak. They’ll appreciate it and feel more comfortable around you, which could result in a long-lasting relationship.

3. Be Supportive

Look for ways to help others, even if it’s the first time you’re having a conversation with them. When you’re on a job hunt, the best thing you can do is demonstrate your benefits to a potential employer by aiding him or her. Look for opportunities to support the people you’re talking with; don’t solely focus on what you want out of the relationship or the relationship will be nonexistent.

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4. Be Persistent

Don’t be afraid to work a little bit for someone’s attention, whether that someone be a person you want to know personally or professionally. Be sure not to be a pest, but don’t give up too easily or you might not make connections you want to.

5. Be Desirable

An air of mystery around a person makes them all the more fascinating to everyone they talk with. The most boring man or woman could seem dazzling if he or she is adept at knowing what to reveal about themselves and what to keep hidden. If you’re trying to intrigue a new person, avoid being a completely open book.

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6. Don’t Be Forgotten

Make an impression. Don’t do anything too crazy, but make sure you do something to distinguish yourself from the crowd of suitors or applicants when trying to make connections.

7. Keep Your Eye On The Prize

You have to be real, but you should also remember what your ultimate goal is. Don’t be so sidetracked by trying to be helpful that you don’t consider your own needs. Consistently remind yourself what you want and how you’re going to get it.

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8. Connect With Common Interests

If you listened to the person you’re trying to impress when they told you what they enjoy, you’ll know if you have any common interests. Having similar hobbies is a great way to build the foundation of a friendship. Even if you’re not exactly into what the other person is into, connect their passion with something you do like so that you can show some enthusiasm.

9. It’s Not What You Know…

Nepotism is almost always an advantage. Using that advantage isn’t a bad thing; it’s simply an opportunity to present yourself. If you have a friend or a friend of a friend who knows the person you’re trying to impress, make use of them so that you can get your foot in the door.

10. Be True To Yourself

Never waiver from being the person that you want and deserve to be. You may be tempted to try anything to make a connection with someone, but don’t try to deceive that job recruiter or potential friend into thinking that you’re something you’re really not. That situation ends distastefully for all parties.

Featured photo credit: Digo_Souza via flickr.com

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Matt OKeefe

Matt is a marketer and writer who shares about lifestyle and productivity tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on March 29, 2021

5 Types of Horrible Bosses and How to Beat Them All

5 Types of Horrible Bosses and How to Beat Them All

When I left university I took a job immediately, I had been lucky as I had spent a year earning almost nothing as an intern so I was offered a role. On my first day I found that I had not been allocated a desk, there was no one to greet me so I was left for some hours ignored. I happened to snipe about this to another employee at the coffee machine two things happened. The first was that the person I had complained to was my new manager’s wife, and the second was, in his own words, ‘that he would come down on me like a ton of bricks if I crossed him…’

What a great start to a job! I had moved to a new city, and had been at work for less than a morning when I had my first run in with the first style of bad manager. I didn’t stay long enough to find out what Mr Agressive would do next. Bad managers are a major issue. Research from Approved Index shows that more than four in ten employees (42%) state that they have previously quit a job because of a bad manager.

The Dream Type Of Manager

My best manager was a total opposite. A man who had been the head of the UK tax system and was working his retirement running a company I was a very junior and green employee for. I made a stupid mistake, one which cost a lot of time and money and I felt I was going to be sacked without doubt.

I was nervous, beating myself up about what I had done, what would happen. At the end of the day I was called to his office, he had made me wait and I had spent that day talking to other employees, trying to understand where I had gone wrong. It had been a simple mistyped line of code which sent a massive print job out totally wrong. I learn how I should have done it and I fretted.

My boss asked me to step into his office, he asked me to sit down. “Do you know what you did?” I babbled, yes, I had been stupid, I had not double-checked or asked for advice when I was doing something I had not really understood. It was totally my fault. He paused. “Will you do that again?” Of course I told him I would not, I would always double check, ask for help and not try to be so clever when I was not!

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“Okay…”

That was it. I paused and asked, should I clear my desk. He smiled. “You have learnt a valuable lesson, I can be sure that you will never make a mistake like that again. Why would I want to get rid of an employee who knows that?”

I stayed with that company for many years, the way I was treated was a real object lesson in good management. Sadly, far too many poor managers exist out there.

The Complete Catalogue of Bad Managers

The Bully

My first boss fitted into the classic bully class. This is so often the ‘old school’ management by power style. I encountered this style again in the retail sector where one manager felt the only way to get the best from staff was to bawl and yell.

However, like so many bullies you will often find that this can be someone who either knows no better or is under stress and they are themselves running scared of the situation they have found themselves in.

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The Invisible Boss

This can either present itself as management from afar (usually the golf course or ‘important meetings) or just a boss who is too busy being important to deal with their staff.

It can feel refreshing as you will often have almost total freedom with your manager taking little or no interest in your activities, however you will soon find that you also lack the support that a good manager will provide. Without direction you may feel you are doing well just to find that you are not delivering against expectations you were not told about and suddenly it is all your fault.

The Micro Manager

The frustration of having a manager who feels the need to be involved in everything you do. The polar opposite to the Invisible Boss you will feel that there is no trust in your work as they will want to meddle in everything you do.

Dealing with the micro-manager can be difficult. Often their management style comes from their own insecurity. You can try confronting them, tell them that you can do your job however in many cases this will not succeed and can in fact make things worse.

The Over Promoted Boss

The Over promoted boss categorises someone who has no idea. They have found themselves in a management position through service, family or some corporate mystery. They are people who are not only highly unqualified to be managers they will generally be unable to do even your job.

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You can find yourself persistently frustrated by the situation you are in, however it can seem impossible to get out without handing over your resignation.

The Credit Stealer

The credit stealer is the boss who will never publically acknowledge the work you do. You will put in the extra hours working on a project and you know that, in the ‘big meeting’ it will be your credit stealing boss who will take all of the credit!

Again it is demoralising, you see all of the credit for your labour being stolen and this can often lead to good employees looking for new careers.

3 Essential Ways to Work (Cope) with Bad Managers

Whatever type of bad boss you have there are certain things that you can do to ensure that you get the recognition and protection you require to not only remain sane but to also build your career.

1. Keep evidence

Whether it is incidents with the bully or examples of projects you have completed with the credit stealer you will always be well served to keep notes and supporting evidence for projects you are working on.

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Buy your own notebook and ensure that you are always making notes, it becomes a habit and a very useful one as you have a constant reminder as well as somewhere to explore ideas.

Importantly, if you do have to go to HR or stand-up for yourself you will have clear records! Also, don’t always trust that corporate servers or emails will always be available or not tampered with. Keep your own content.

2. Hold regular meetings

Ensure that you make time for regular meetings with your boss. This is especially useful for the over-promoted or the invisible boss to allow you to ‘manage upwards’. Take charge where you can to set your objectives and use these meetings to set clear objectives and document the status of your work.

3. Stand your ground, but be ready to jump…

Remember that you don’t have to put up with poor management. If you have issues you should face them with your boss, maybe they do not know that they are coming across in a bad way.

However, be ready to recognise if the situation is not going to change. If that is the case, keep your head down and get working on polishing your CV! If it isn’t working, there will be something better out there for you!

Good luck!

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