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10 Tricks To Make Connections With Basically Everyone (Like A Social Butterfly)

10 Tricks To Make Connections With Basically Everyone (Like A Social Butterfly)

Everyone feels isolated sometimes, no matter how many friends they have. We all want to learn to make connections with other people and the world around us. Here are 10 tips to break out of your lonely cocoon and become a social butterfly.

1. Don’t Be Fake

It’s pretty simple; don’t come across as an attention-seeking machine. Be a real, genuine person to the people you’re networking with. Don’t worry about how to impress people if it gets in the way of making connections that are genuine. The people who you want to have a relationship with are eventually going to meet the real you, so be honest and present that person right away.

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2. Be Attentive

People like to be listened to, so listen closely. The best way to get to know someone is to just let them tell you about themselves, so you don’t want to hoard the conversation. Give them plenty of time to speak. They’ll appreciate it and feel more comfortable around you, which could result in a long-lasting relationship.

3. Be Supportive

Look for ways to help others, even if it’s the first time you’re having a conversation with them. When you’re on a job hunt, the best thing you can do is demonstrate your benefits to a potential employer by aiding him or her. Look for opportunities to support the people you’re talking with; don’t solely focus on what you want out of the relationship or the relationship will be nonexistent.

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4. Be Persistent

Don’t be afraid to work a little bit for someone’s attention, whether that someone be a person you want to know personally or professionally. Be sure not to be a pest, but don’t give up too easily or you might not make connections you want to.

5. Be Desirable

An air of mystery around a person makes them all the more fascinating to everyone they talk with. The most boring man or woman could seem dazzling if he or she is adept at knowing what to reveal about themselves and what to keep hidden. If you’re trying to intrigue a new person, avoid being a completely open book.

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6. Don’t Be Forgotten

Make an impression. Don’t do anything too crazy, but make sure you do something to distinguish yourself from the crowd of suitors or applicants when trying to make connections.

7. Keep Your Eye On The Prize

You have to be real, but you should also remember what your ultimate goal is. Don’t be so sidetracked by trying to be helpful that you don’t consider your own needs. Consistently remind yourself what you want and how you’re going to get it.

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8. Connect With Common Interests

If you listened to the person you’re trying to impress when they told you what they enjoy, you’ll know if you have any common interests. Having similar hobbies is a great way to build the foundation of a friendship. Even if you’re not exactly into what the other person is into, connect their passion with something you do like so that you can show some enthusiasm.

9. It’s Not What You Know…

Nepotism is almost always an advantage. Using that advantage isn’t a bad thing; it’s simply an opportunity to present yourself. If you have a friend or a friend of a friend who knows the person you’re trying to impress, make use of them so that you can get your foot in the door.

10. Be True To Yourself

Never waiver from being the person that you want and deserve to be. You may be tempted to try anything to make a connection with someone, but don’t try to deceive that job recruiter or potential friend into thinking that you’re something you’re really not. That situation ends distastefully for all parties.

Featured photo credit: Digo_Souza via flickr.com

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Matt OKeefe

Matt is a marketer and writer who shares about lifestyle and productivity tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on October 13, 2020

How to Get Promoted When You Feel Stuck in Your Current Position

How to Get Promoted When You Feel Stuck in Your Current Position

Have you been stuck in the same position for too long and don’t really know how to get promoted and advance your career?

Feeling stuck could be caused by a variety of things:

  • Taking a job for the money
  • Staying with an employer that no longer aligns with your values
  • Realizing that you landed yourself in the wrong career
  • Not feeling valued or feeling underutilized
  • Taking a position without a full understanding of the role

There are many other reasons why you may be feeling this way, but let’s focus instead on learning what to do now in order to get unstuck and get promoted

One of the best ways to get promoted is by showing how you add value to your organization. Did you make money, save money, improve a process, or do some other amazing thing? How else might you demonstrate added value?

Let’s dive right in to how to get promoted when you feel stuck in your current position.

1. Be a Mentor

When I supervised students, I used to warm them — tongue in cheek, of course — about getting really good at their job.

“Be careful not to get too good at this, or you’ll never get to do anything else.”

This was my way of pestering them to take on additional challenges or think outside the box, but there is definitely some truth in doing something so well that your manager doesn’t trust anyone else to do it.

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This can get you stuck.

Jo Miller of Be Leaderly shares this insight on when your boss thinks you’re too valuable in your current job:

“Think back to a time when you really enjoyed your current role…You became known for doing your job so well that you built up some strong ‘personal brand’ equity, and people know you as the go-to-person for this particular job. That’s what we call ‘a good problem to have’: you did a really good job of building a positive perception about your suitability for the role, but you may have done ‘too’ good of a job!”[1]

With this in mind, how do you prove to your employer that you can add value by being promoted?

From Miller’s insight, she talks about building your personal brand and becoming known for doing a particular job well. So how can you link that work with a position or project that will earn you a promotion?

Consider leveraging your strengths and skills.

Let’s say that the project you do so well is hiring and training new entry-level employees. You have to post the job listing, read and review resumes, schedule interviews, make hiring decisions, and create the training schedules. These tasks require skills such as employee relations, onboarding, human resources software, performance management, teamwork, collaboration, customer service, and project management. That’s a serious amount of skills!

Are there any team members who can perform these skills? Try delegating and training some of your staff or colleagues to learn your job. There are a number of reasons why this is a good idea:

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  1. Cross-training helps in any situation in the event that there’s an extended illness and the main performer of a certain task is out for a while.
  2. As a mentor to a supervisee or colleague, you empower them to increase their job skills.
  3. You are already beginning to demonstrate that added value to your employer by encouraging your team or peers to learn your job and creating team players.

Now that you’ve trained others to do that work for which you have been so valued, you can see about re-requesting that promotion. Explain how you have saved the company money, encouraged employees to increase their skills, or reinvented that project of yours.

2. Work on Your Mindset

Another reason you may feel stuck in a position is explained through this quote:

“If you feel stuck at a job you used to love, it’s normally you—not the job—who needs to change. The position you got hired for is probably the exact same one you have now. But if you start to dread the work routine, you’re going to focus on the negatives.”[2]

In this situation, you should pursue a conversation with your supervisor and share your thoughts and feelings to help you learn how to get promoted. You can probably get some advice on how to rediscover the aspects of that job you enjoyed, and negotiate either some additional duties or a chance to move up.

Don’t express frustration. Express a desire for more.

Present your case and show your boss or supervisor that you want to be challenged, and you want to move up. You want more responsibility in order to continue moving the company forward. Focus on how you can do that with the skills you have and the positive mindset you’ve cultivated.

3. Improve Your Soft Skills

When was the last time you put focus and effort into upping your game with those soft skills? I’m talking about those seemingly intangible things that make you the experienced professional in your specific job skills[3].

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Use soft skills when learning how to get promoted.

    According to research, improving soft skills can boost productivity and retention 12 percent and deliver a 250 percent return on investment based on higher productivity and retention[4]. Those are only some of the benefits for both you and your employer when you want to learn how to get promoted.

    You can hone these skills and increase your chances of promotion into a leadership role by taking courses or seminars.

    Furthermore, you don’t necessarily need to request funding from your supervisor. There are dozens of online courses being presented by entrepreneurs and authors about these very subjects. Udemy and Creative Live both feature online courses at very reasonable prices. And some come with completion certificates for your portfolio!

    Another way to improve your soft skills is by connecting with an employee at your organization who has a position similar to the one you want.

    Express your desire to move up in the organization, and ask to shadow that person or see if you can sit in on some of their meetings. Offer to take that individual out for coffee and ask what their secret is! Take copious notes, and then immerse yourself in the learning.

    The key here is not to copy your new mentor. Rather, you want to observe, learn, and then adapt according to your strengths.

    4. Develop Your Strategy

    Do you even know specifically why you want to learn how to get promoted? Do you see a future at this company? Do you have a one-year, five-year, or ten-year plan for your career path? How often do you consider your “why” and insure that it aligns with your “what”?

    Sit down and make an old-fashioned pro and con list.

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    Write down every positive aspect of your current job and then every negative one. Which list is longer? Are there any themes present?

    Look at your lists and choose the most exciting pros and the most frustrating cons. Do those two pros make the cons worth it? If you can’t answer that question with a “yes,” then getting promoted at your current organization may not be what you really want[5].

    The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. —Mark Twain

    Here are some questions to ask yourself:

    • Why do you do what you do?
    • What thrills you about your current job role or career?
    • What does a great day look like?
    • What does success look and feel like beyond the paycheck?
    • How do you want to feel about your impact on the world when you retire?

    Define success to get promoted

      These questions would be great to reflect on in a journal or with your supervisor in your next one-on-one meeting. Or, bring it up with one of your work friends over coffee.

      Final Thoughts

      After considering all of these points and doing your best to learn how to get promoted, what you might find is that being stuck is your choice. Then, you can set yourself on the path of moving up where you are, or moving on to something different.

      Because sometimes the real promotion is finding your life’s purpose.

      More Tips on How to Get Promoted

      Featured photo credit: Razvan Chisu via unsplash.com

      Reference

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