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10 Signs Your Managers Are Controllers But Not Leaders

10 Signs Your Managers Are Controllers But Not Leaders

Whether you are the CEO or the most junior person in the organization, we all have managers who exert power over us. A controlling boss makes you dread going into the office. On the other hand, working for a leader is often inspiring (and challenging). Here are 10 clues that managers may be controllers in an unhealthy way instead of leaders.

1. They Use Fear To Achieve Their Goals

A controlling boss or manager tends to use their role power (i.e. the power to fire or discipline employees) to achieve their goals. While power matters, effective leaders understand that it is a tool to be use sparingly. Instead, modern leaders influence their staff and persuade them.

Tip: Learn how to leaders master the tools of influence by reading 6 Ways To Influence Others.

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2. They Think They Know Everything

A controlling boss often or always assumes that they know everything. They never ask for opinions from their staff and they do not believe in doing research before making important decisions. In contrast, leaders understand how to be humble at work. For example, a leader may realize that she has a weakness in accounting knowledge or software development. As a result, a leader will seek the advice and recommendations of others in those areas.

3. They Treat People As Pawns

The boss who is fixated on control soon starts to view their staff as pawns. If your manager simply views you as a “pair of hands” to get work done, you are probably working for a controlling manager. Leaders take a different approach. They realize the value in drawing on the full creative powers of people around them. Leaders recognize that treating staff as valuable contributors is a key way to win their respect and improve productivity.

4. They Dominate Meetings

Meetings are an important tool for getting work done in modern organizations. Unfortunately, some managers never learned effective meeting skills. Instead, they simply yell to make a point and issue orders to staff. In contrast, a true leader understand that meetings are concerned with drawing on the wisdom and experience of everyone attending the meeting.

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Tip: Learn the 7 habits of highly effective meetings to become more effective in meetings, even if you have a controlling manager.

5. They Take A “My Way Or The Highway” Approach To Conflict

Conflict is a reality that we deal with in our daily work. Unfortunately, a controlling manager assumes that aggression is only sure path to resolving conflict. This kind of boss views every disagreement as a conflict to be won by them, no matter the cost. In cost, modern leaders use a variety of conflict resolution techniques such as collaborating to find better solutions.

6. They Ignore The Competition

A controlling manager has a hard time with competing companies. At the worst, a controlling manager will resort to immoral efforts to undermine the competition. Other controlling bosses take pride in ignoring the competition. Successful leaders maintain focus on their goals while monitoring the competition. Leaders know that observing competitors gives them new ideas including joint ventures and other forms of cooperation.

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7. They Never Practice Active Listening

Arrogance is one of the hallmarks of a controlling manager and this means they have a lot of room to go when it comes to listening. There’s nothing worse than suggesting ideas and improvements to your boss only to have those ideas ignored. Leaders understand than listening is a skill that requires practice and study. Fortunately, everyone can become better at listening. Use these resources to improve your listening skills:

5 Ways for Leaders To Listen Harder by Michael Hyatt

Active Listening – A Skill That Everyone Should Master

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8. They Focus on The Short Term

The controlling manager is often concerned with the short term. They have little interest in anything beyond this week. Their need for control undermines their ability to plan and think about the long term needs of their department and the organization. Leaders take a completely different perspective. They start with long term goals first and then they ask their staff to help them achieve their goals. The long term perspective means a greater interest in new ideas and less interest in micro-managing the details.

9. They Never Inspire People With Their Own Example

Managers driven by the need to control rarely look for ways to lead by example. In contrast, let’s consider the inspiring example of Winston Churchill. During the First World War, he had a senior leadership role in the British government. When he was forced out of office, he decided to return to the field. He actually went to the front line and led soldiers in battle. His willingness to lead by example in war and expose himself to danger shows one way to inspire people by your example.

Tip: Read about Winston Churchill’s approach to life: The Churchill School of Adulthood – Lesson #7: Work Like a Slave; Command Like a King; Create Like a God.

10. They Are Unable To Work Through A Crisis

A boss who focuses on control is rarely able to work through a crisis. They have little ability to manage the unexpected in life. In fact, some controlling managers simply freeze in a crisis. It’s a sad state of affairs that hurts them and the rest of the organization. Leaders, on the other hand, know that life is full of unpredictable challenges and situations (10 Challenges Leaders Always Face And How To Deal With Them). They stay focused on taking care of their people and coming up with solutions. All in all, working with a leader gives you a greater sense of confidence.

Featured photo credit: Hand Thumb / Geralt via pixabay.com

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Bruce Harpham

Bruce Harpham is a Project Management Professional and Founder and CEO of Project Management Hacks.

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Last Updated on September 23, 2020

Do What You Love and Love What You Do to Achieve More

Do What You Love and Love What You Do to Achieve More

Are you waking up each day looking for that perfect thing, activity, or job that will make your life work? Or, maybe you are looking for that perfect relationship. Once you “get” this new thing that will allow you to do what you love, you are sure that you will be happy forever.

In reality, life doesn’t work like that, and we would probably get bored if it did. There is likely no one thing, experience, or activity that will keep you feeling passionate and engaged all the time. What’s important is staying connected to what you love and continuing to grow in the process.

Here, we’ll talk about how to get started doing what you love and achieving more in life through the motivation it brings. Doing this doesn’t have to take a long time; it just takes determination and energy.

Most People Already Know Their Passion

So many people walk around in life “looking for” their passion. They look for it as if true passion is some mysterious thing that is difficult to find and runs away once you find it. However, the problem is rarely lack of passion.

Most of us already know what we love to do. We know what excites us, even if we haven’t done it for years. Instead, we focus on what we think we “must” do.

For example, maybe you love building model cars or painting pet portraits. Yet, each day you work a completely unrelated job and make no time for the activity you already know you love. The truth is you probably don’t need to find your passion; you just need to start doing what you already know you’re passionate about[1].

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No Activity Is Exciting All the Time

Even people who are living their dream lifestyle or working their dream job don’t love it all the time. Every job or lifestyle has parts of it that we won’t like.

Let’s say your dream is to become an actress, and you succeed. You may not enjoy the process of auditioning and facing rejection. You may experience moments of boredom when you practice your lines over and over again. But the overall experience is totally worth it.

Most of life is like that. Don’t set yourself up for disappointment by demanding that life be perfect all the time. If things were perfect and easy, you would ultimately stop learning and growing, and life would begin to lack even more meaning in that case.

Be grateful for both the good and bad moments as they are both entirely necessary if you genuinely want to do what you love and love what you do.

Doing What You Love May Not Be Easy

Living a life you love is unlikely to be easy. If it was, you would not grow very much as a person. And, if you think about a great book or movie, the growth of the main character is what matters most.

What if the challenges you meet along your path to living a life you love were designed to make you grow as a person? You may actually start looking forward to challenges instead of dreading them. An easy life hardly ever makes a compelling story.

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If you struggle to overcome challenges, try writing them down each time you encounter one. Then, write down three ways you could tackle it. Try one, and if it doesn’t work, try another. This way, you’ll learn what does and doesn’t work for you.

How to Do What You Love

There are many small steps you can take to ensure you are making time to do the things you love. Start with these, and you’ll likely find that you’re already on the right track.

1. Choose Your Priorities Wisely

Many people claim they want to do something, yet they don’t do it. The truth is they might not really want to do it in the first place[2].

We all end up following through on what matters most to us. We make decisions moment by moment about what we need to focus on. What we choose to do is what we deem most important in our lives.

If there is something you claim you want to do but you don’t do it, try asking yourself how much you really want it or where it’s currently placed on priority list. Are there other things you want more?

Be honest with yourself: what you currently do each day is a reflection of your priorities. Recognize that you can change your priorities at any time.

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Make a list of your priorities. Really take the time to think this through. Then, ask yourself if what you are doing each day reflects them. For example, if you believe your top priority is spending more time with your family, but you consistently take on extra hours at work, you’re not really prioritizing things in the way you think you are.

If this is happening, it’s time to make a change.

2. Do One Small Thing Each Day

As stated above, doing what you love doesn’t have to mean finding that perfect job that makes you want to jump out of bed in the morning. If you want to do what you love, start with one small thing each day.

Maybe you love reading a good book. Take ten minutes before bed to read.

Maybe you love swimming. Get a membership at the local YMCA, and go there for thirty minutes after work each day.

Dedicating even a short amount of time to something that brings you joy each day will improve your life overall. You may find that, over time, a career path related to what you love to do pops up. After doing the thing you love each day, you’ll be more than prepared to take it on when the opportunity arises.

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If you need help making time for your passions, check out this article to get started.

3. Prepare to Make Sacrifices

If you are an exceptionally busy person (aren’t we all?), you may have to make sacrifices in order to make space for the things you are passionate about. Maybe you take on less extra hours at the office or take thirty minutes away from another hobby in order to develop another that you enjoy.

Looking at your priority list will help you decide what can get put on the back burner and what can’t. Remember, do this thinking about what will help you feel good about how you’re spending your time. 

For example, if you love writing but rarely make time for it, consider getting up 30 minutes earlier than normal. Or instead of browsing your phone for 30 minutes before bed, you can write instead. There is always a way to find time for what you love.

Final Thoughts

If you love what you do, each day becomes a joyful adventure. If you don’t love what you are doing, life feels like a chore. The best way to achieve success is to design a life you love and live it every day.

Remember, doing something you love doesn’t have to include big gestures or time-consuming projects. Start small and grow from there.

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Featured photo credit: William Recinos via unsplash.com

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