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How to Really Achieve Goals

How to Really Achieve Goals

Sometimes I wish I had a Life-GPS that would help me achieve goals. It would instruct me on my way, recalculate when I don’t take the suggested turn, and visually show me where I am all the time, including the distance left. Sadly, we usually don’t have the map of our lives, but there are important lessons to learn from that picture.

Life-GPS

What is the most important aspect of a GPS you may have in your car?

Think for a minute.

It’s telling you exactly where you are. You probably don’t even start driving without knowing your location. This is super important in our lives also. You can have a detailed map and a very clear goal in your mind, but when you don’t know where you are, you simply can’t get there.

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Before trying any goal-setting, motivational speeches and progress tracking, the most important thing is to sit down and honestly answer the question “Where am I right now?”

  • What is the vision for my life? Do I have it?
  • What do I have? What can I use?
  • What’s unique about me?
  • What’s important for me?
  • What are my priorities?
  • What strengthens me? What drains energy from me?
  • What habits do I have? What habits I would like to have?
  • What are my values?
  • What did I already try? How many times? (As Einstein said “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”)
  • What aspects of my life are neglected?

When you are lost without directions, sometimes you need to look around, observe, maybe ask others to tell you, but without that knowledge you won’t get to your destination even if you precisely know where it is.

Goal Setting

When your internal Life-GPS is warmed up and you know where you are with some accuracy, you can precisely set your goal. There are three important aspects of goal setting that are described by Pareto Principle, Flow and SMART goals.

20% of your goals will usually define 80% of your outcome. This is why you need just a few clear, energizing goals. According to Wikipedia, Flow is the mental state of operation in which a person performing an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity. In essence, flow is characterized by complete absorption in what one does.. You know it, right? And it is good to learn how to make that a conscious choice. SMART goals will help you being precise and avoid wasting energy.

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With that knowledge, you are ready to start your journey. You know where you are and you know your destination. Turn on the engine and start moving!

Hints on your way

Many things can happen when your journey has already begun. This is why you need signs and signals on your way.

Inspect and adapt. When there is “road construction” in your life and you can’t take the turn you wanted, don’t be angry. Simply “recalculate” and move on. Life is all about being flexible. Smile and just take a different road.

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step,” wrote ancient Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu. It’s amazing that you can drive hundreds of miles during the night, when you only see less than 1% of the road in front of you. You don’t have to know all the details to start moving.

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Don’t hurry. It kills your creativity. And it drains energy from you.

Get rid of the garbage. In your computer. In your life. Habits. Relationships. Time. It won’t go away on its own. And it smells.

Don’t forget the fun. You are not a machine and you will achieve goals faster and with greater energy when you make things fun. Just an example how fun can change your behavior for better:

Fasting. When you take the same road over and over again, it starts to be boring. Also when you eat the same thing every day, you are losing the taste of it. Take breaks. Stop doing something—eating, drinking, reading, and meeting—for a period of time, just to get the fresh taste after the break. You will be more aware of where you are and will achieve goals faster.

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Turn off distractors. You can’t drive very fast and talk and text at the same time. If you want to be fast, you really need to focus. Your phone, social media and sometimes even other people can wait for some time. When you lose your focus, you need to slow down.

Be grateful. Another red light and you may start complaining. But do you do the opposite? If there is a series of green lights on your way do you silently say ‘Thank you’? Gratitude can open your eyes and you may fully enjoy the view while driving toward your goals.

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Piotr Nabielec

Author, CEO, Consultant

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Last Updated on July 23, 2019

5 Steps To Move Out Of Stagnancy In Life

5 Steps To Move Out Of Stagnancy In Life

In the journey of growth, there are times when we grow and excel. We are endlessly driven and hyped up, motivated to get our goals.

Then there are times when we stagnate. We feel uninspired and unmotivated. We keep procrastinating on our plans. More often than not, we get out of a rut, only to get back into another one.

How do you know if you are stagnating? Here are some tell-tale signs:

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  • If you have been experiencing chronic procrastination on your goals
  • If you don’t ever feel like doing anything
  • If you keep turning to sleep, eating, games, mindless activities and entertainment for comfort
  • If you know you should be doing something, but yet you keep avoiding it
  • If you have not achieved anything new or significant now relative to 1 month, 2 months or 3 months ago
  • If you have a deep sense of feeling that you are living under your potential

When we face stagnation in life, it’s a sign of deeper issues. Stagnation, just like procrastination, is a symptom of a problem. It’s easy to beat ourselves over it, but this approach is not going to help. Here, I will share 5 steps to help you move out of this stagnation. They won’t magically transform your life in 1 night (such changes are never permanent because the foundations are not built), but they will help you get the momentum going and help you get back on track.

1. Realize You’re Not Alone

Everyone stagnates at some point or another. You are not alone in this and more importantly, it’s normal. In fact, it’s amazing how many of my clients actually face the same predicament, even though all of them come from different walks of life, are of different ages, and have never crossed paths. Realizing you are not alone in this will make it much easier to deal with this period. By trying to “fight it”, you’re only fighting yourself. Accept this situation, acknowledge it, and tell yourself it’s okay. That way, you can then focus on the constructive steps that will really help you.

2. Find What Inspires You

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Stagnation comes because there isn’t anything that excites you enough to take action. If you don’t have a habit of setting goals, and instead just leave yourself to daily mundanes, it’s not surprising you are experiencing stagnation. What do you want to do if there are no limitations? If you can have whatever you want, what will it be? The answers to these questions will provide the fuel that will drive you forward.

On the other hand, even if you are an experienced goal setter, there are times when the goals you set in the past lose their appeal now. It’s normal and it happens to me too. Sometimes we lose touch with our goals, since we are in a different emotional state compared to when we first set them. Sometimes our priorities change and we no longer want to work on those goals anymore. However, we don’t consciously realize this, and what happens is we procrastinate on our goals until it compounds into a serious problem. If that’s the case for you, it’s time to relook into your goals. There’s no point in pursuing goals that no longer inspire you. Trash away your old goals (or just put them aside) and ask yourself what you really want now. Then go for them.

3. Give Yourself a Break

When’s the last time you took a real break for yourself? 3 months? 6 months? 1 year? Never? Perhaps it’s time to take a time-out. Prolonged working can cause someone to become disillusioned as they lose sight of who they are and what they want.

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Go take some extended leave from work. A few days at bare minimum; a few weeks or months will be great. Some of my ex-colleagues have quit their jobs and took months out to do some self-reflection. Of course, some of us might not have that luxury, so we can stick to a few weeks of leave. Go on a trip elsewhere and get away from your work and your life. Use this chance to get a renewed perspective of life. Think about your life purpose, what you want and what you want to create for your life in the future. These are big questions that require deep thinking over them. It’s not about finding the answers at one go, but about taking the first step to finding the answers.

4. Shake up Your Routines

Being in the same environment, doing the same things over and over again and meeting the same people can make us stagnant. This is especially if the people you spend the most time with are stagnant themselves.

Change things around. Start with simple things, like taking a different route to work and eating something different for breakfast. Have your lunch with different colleagues, colleagues you never talked much with. Work in a different cubicle if your work has free and easy seating. Do something different than your usual for weekday evenings and weekends. Cultivate different habits, like exercising every day, listening to a new series of podcasts every morning to work, reading a book, etc (here’s 6 Proven Ways To Make New Habits Stick). The different contexts will give you different stimulus, which will trigger off different thoughts and actions in you.

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When I’m in a state of stagnancy, I’ll get a sense of what’s making me stagnate. Sometimes it’s the environment I’m in, sometimes it’s the people I’ve been hanging out with, sometimes it’s my lifestyle. Most of the times it’s a combination of all these. Changing them up helps to stir myself out of the stagnant mode.

5. Start with a Small Step

Stagnation also comes from being frozen in fear. Maybe you do want this certain goal, but you aren’t taking action. Are you overwhelmed by the amount of work needed? Are you afraid you will make mistakes? Is the perfectionist in you taking over and paralyzing you?

Let go of the belief that it has to be perfect. Such a belief is a bane, not a boon. It’s precisely from being open to mistakes and errors that you move forward. Break down what’s before you into very very small steps, then take those small steps, a little step at a time. I had a client who had been stagnating for a long period because he was afraid of failing. He didn’t want to make another move where he would make a mistake. However, not wanting to make a mistake has led him to do absolutely nothing for 2-3 years. On the other hand, by doing just something, you would already be making progress, whether it’s a mistake or not. Even if you make a supposed “mistake”,  you get feedback to do things differently in the next step. That’s something you would never have known if you never made a move.

More to Help You Stay Motivated

Here are some resources that will help you break out of your current phase:

Featured photo credit: Anubhav Saxena via unsplash.com

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