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Coach Yourself to Success in 5 Steps

Coach Yourself to Success in 5 Steps

Achieving success can be one of the best feelings in the world. There are tangible benefits of success such as promotions or awards, but also less obvious ones like the opportunity to grow, to stretch ourselves, and to learn. The more ambitious we are with our goals and dreams (be it running a marathon or starting our own business) the more help we need to reach them.

Professional coaches are one useful resource. They may be experts in the area of the goal we’re pursuing, like a running coach or an executive coach, or they may just be an experienced sounding board to give a different lens on our problem.

But in order to establish patterns of success and consistently achieve our goals, it’s helpful (and more convenient, and cheaper!) to adopt some self-coaching behaviours. (No, this doesn’t have to involve talking to ourselves – but it can.)

I believe it’s possible to get 80% there with 20% of the effort. To start: develop a success habit by asking yourself these questions at least once a month (or better yet, every week). Carve out an hour to sit, reflect, and write. You’ll not only achieve your goals for success faster than ever before, you’ll grow and learn while you’re doing it.

They key questions to ask yourself are…

1. What do I want to achieve?

“Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt

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This is the foundation of everything that follows. Numerous studies find that people who set goals are most successful in the long term. The brilliant thing is that you don’t have to work out all the steps to get there – at least not yet. Just identify what it is you’d like to do, and intend to do it. For instance: I want to become a successful blogger. (Bonus points if you put a date to it – eg ‘by December 31, 2014’ or ‘by end of day Tuesday’).

If you’re new to setting goals, come up with three then pick the one that feels most meaningful for you right now. Focus on this for the rest of the exercise.

See? That was easy.

Next…

2. What does success look and feel like? How will I know when I’m there?

“Visualize this thing that you want, see it, feel it, believe in it. Make your mental blue print, and begin to build.” – Robert Collier

This is where the magic starts – this is part of the ‘secret sauce’, the stuff we so often skip over because we underestimate how powerful it is.

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Close your eyes and visualize what ‘success’ really looks like. For instance, being a successful blogger means different things to different people. How will you know you’ve reached YOUR version of this goal? It could be that you will have achieved success when you have written 5 blog posts with 10,000 views each. Or when you get so many guest post requests you’re turning them away. Or when your blog generates $1000 per month in revenues. Whatever success means, paint a detailed picture in your mind, then write down the key elements. Otherwise you won’t know when you’ve achieved it, and you won’t be able to assess as easily if things have gone off the rails.

Now that you know where you want to go and what it will look and feel like to be there, put your brain to work immediately to determine…

3. What is the first step towards this success?

“Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.” – Conrad Hilton

Ask yourself: what’s the next step I need to take to make this happen? By when will I commit to doing this?

You may be thinking, “I don’t know how to become an uber-blogger!” The great thing is that you don’t need to know the entire path to your goal – just one step at a time. If you can map out the entire journey, great. But if not, ask “what is one action item I can take that would bring me closer to this goal?” It could be as simple as compiling your favourite blog posts and authors and assessing what it is that makes you want to read them. Or, it could be signing up for WordPress to get your own domain and blog site. Once you’ve got an idea of the next steps, get moving. Do yourself a favour and follow through on this commitment to yourself, the way you would follow through on a commitment to someone else.

But what if I can’t figure out the next step? That’s ok. There are some great hacks for overcoming resistance. Try…

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  • Talking with someone who’s already achieved the goal you set. Ask them what might be a next step.
  • Closing your eyes and picturing a future you who’s already achieved this goal. Ask this version of you ‘what would be my next step?’

Once you know what your next step will be, decide…

4. What barriers will I have to overcome to accomplish this step with success?

“Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome.” – Booker T. Washington

This is the ‘troubleshooting’ step. Undoubtedly something (or many somethings!) will come up that will get in the way of your goal. Some may not be foreseeable, but most will be. By anticipating these roadblocks upfront you can ensure you stay on track and train your brain to anticipate and problem solve. Working out these muscles will pay dividends in every aspect of your life.

A common problem: you may run out of time. Or (reverting to the blog example), you may decide that the first step is to write a post for a friend’s blog and he/she gives some extensive feedback on your writing. Anticipate the most likely barriers and visualize NOW how you will overcome each. So IF your friend sends back significant edits to your post, you’ve built in a buffer of an extra day to revise and resubmit.

Bulletproof your timelines and action plans to ensure you can leap over most hurdles that stand between you and success.

Once you’ve completed your step, ask yourself…

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5. What can I learn from this experience?

“I’ve failed over and over again in my life – and that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan

High achievers across sports, business, entertainment, and government share this one behaviour: they will reflect thoughtfully and detachedly on their performance and outcomes. Once you’ve achieved your step/goal, reflect and see what can be learned from your work. Some subquestions could be:

  • Did you get to the outcome you envisioned?
  • Were there challenges you didn’t expect?
  • What factors helped you?
  • Would you do anything differently if you had a ‘do over’?

Research has shown that our brains don’t actually need to ‘do’ something in order to learn – rehearsing behaviour patterns, or reflecting can be as powerful as if we’d actually had more practice, or been given the real-life opportunity for a do over.

By reflecting deliberately and learning from every situation, your can accelerate your personal and professional growth. The key for getting the most out of this is staying objective. To learn the most you need to examine from every angle with a scientist’s lens. Getting hung up on emotions or baggage will hinder your learning.

Finally, recognize that setbacks happen all the time. They’re part of life and the learning process. But the most successful people are able to ‘fail forward’, or fail in such a way that they gain valuable insight that will make them more successful next time. Being your own coach means cheering yourself on, holding yourself accountable, and sometimes, dusting yourself off! But by using this process you can set yourself up for a virtuous cycle of successes and train your brain to achieve – so that success truly does become the norm.

Featured photo credit: Paxon Woebler via flickr.com

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Last Updated on November 19, 2019

7 Signs That You’re Way Too Busy

7 Signs That You’re Way Too Busy

“Busy” used to be a fair description of the typical schedule. More and more, though, “busy” simply doesn’t cut it.

“Busy” has been replaced with “too busy”, “far too busy”, or “absolutely buried.” It’s true that being productive often means being busy…but it’s only true up to a point.

As you likely know from personal experience, you can become so busy that you reach a tipping point…a point where your life tips over and falls apart because you can no longer withstand the weight of your commitments.

Once you’ve reached that point, it becomes fairly obvious that you’ve over-committed yourself.

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The trick, though, is to recognize the signs of “too busy” before you reach that tipping point. A little self-assessment and some proactive schedule-thinning can prevent you from having that meltdown.

To help you in that self-assessment, here are 7 signs that you’re way too busy:

1. You Can’t Remember the Last Time You Took a Day Off

Occasional periods of rest are not unproductive, they are essential to productivity. Extended periods of non-stop activity result in fatigue, and fatigue results in lower-quality output. As Sydney J. Harris once said,

“The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.”

2. Those Closest to You Have Stopped Asking for Your Time

Why? They simply know that you have no time to give them. Your loved ones will be persistent for a long time, but once you reach the point where they’ve stopped asking, you’ve reached a dangerous level of busy.

3. Activities like Eating Are Always Done in Tandem with Other Tasks

If you constantly find yourself using meal times, car rides, etc. as times to catch up on emails, phone calls, or calendar readjustments, it’s time to lighten the load.

It’s one thing to use your time efficiently. It’s a whole different ballgame, though, when you have so little time that you can’t even focus on feeding yourself.

4. You’re Consistently More Tired When You Get up in the Morning Than You Are When You Go to Bed

One of the surest signs of an overloaded schedule is morning fatigue. This is a good indication that you’ve not rested well during the night, which is a good sign that you’ve got way too much on your mind.

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If you’ve got so much to do that you can’t even shut your mind down when you’re laying in bed, you’re too busy.

5. The Most Exercise You Get Is Sprinting from One Commitment to the Next

It’s proven that exercise promotes healthy lives. If you don’t care about that, that’s one thing. If you’d like to exercise, though, but you just don’t have time for it, you’re too busy.

If the closest thing you get to exercise is running from your office to your car because you’re late for your ninth appointment of the day, it’s time to slow down.

Try these 5 Ways to Find Time for Exercise.

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6. You Dread Getting up in the Morning

If your days are so crammed full that you literally dread even starting them, you’re too busy. A new day should hold at least a small level of refreshment and excitement. Scale back until you find that place again.

7. “Survival Mode” Is Your Only Mode

If you can’t remember what it feels like to be ahead of schedule, or at least “caught up”, you’re too busy.

So, How To Get out of Busyness?

Take a look at these articles to help you get unstuck:

Featured photo credit: Khara Woods via unsplash.com

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