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7 Reasons Why Some People’s Conversations Are More Memorable

7 Reasons Why Some People’s Conversations Are More Memorable

Sometimes the most charismatic people are the ones who finish first. Added to our skills should be how we make the other person feel when he/she engages us. Yes, great conversations stick to our heart for a long time. People who make great conversations are interesting to be with. It is a law of attraction to want to be around those who listen with their heart and also speak to our hearts. This is why people will always appreciate people like Stephen Fry and Charlie Rose. Here are some elements that make some conversations with some people more memorable than others.

1. They offer genuine compliments.

The human is wired not to refuse reciprocity. Great conversationalists offer thoughtful and genuine compliments during a conversation, which makes the other person feel validated and appreciated. This stirs the conversation and propels it in a positive direction. Make sure your compliment is sincere and these compliments could be directed at what they are wearing, doing, or saying.

2. They maintain steady eye contact.

In many cultures, maintaining eye contact with who you are speaking with adds sincerity and appropriateness to a conversation. It means you are serious and engaged during the conversation. Great conversationalist know why and how to make eye contact—they do this between 70–80% of the time and add value to the conversation with this non-verbal act.

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3. They contribute to the conversation.

It is better to also be a giver during a conversation rather than just a taker. Add interesting facts or elaborate on a statement. People who make great conversations observe their environment and pick up interesting stuff from it which could be infused into a conversation. It is like they are building something together with the other person. Great conversationalists contribute to the conversation and thus make the other person relaxed and comfortable.

4. They listen and are attentive.

“I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.”

—Ernest Hemingway

By listening and paying attention, you show you respect the other person. When the other person is listened to, he or she will feel important during the conversation. According to Michael Hyatt, great conversationalists listen with their hearts, and this doesn’t require any verbal action, but rather, good body language and attentive ears.

5. They remember the names of those they are speaking with.

People tend to like and appreciate you more if you use their name a few times during conversations. According to research, people respond better to their names as it validates their identity. Remembering names means you are a detailed person and this makes great conversationalist stand out.

6. They keep the conversation informative.

“Never leave home without reading the newspaper.”

—Leil Lowndes, author of How To To Talk To Anyone

The brain has a very short attention span so it is safer to be informed and provide an interesting conversation. This is why it is important to be abreast about current trends. They don’t have to start talking about a complex topic. It could be what happened on the last episode of Game of Thrones. As far as you bring an intelligent and informed angle to it, you will make a great conversation with it.

7. They are enthusiastic about what the other person has to say.

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming really interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. Which is just another way of saying that the way to make a friend is to be one.”

—Dale Carnegie

“When you’re interested, you’re interesting,” says Jill Spiegel, author of How to Talk to Anyone About Anything! Be open to what the other person has to say and ask intelligent questions moderately which would show that you are willing to know more about the other person.

Featured photo credit: Stephen Fry in V for Vendetta via mystery756.files.wordpress.com

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

8 Ways to Train Your Brain to Learn Faster and Remember More

8 Ways to Train Your Brain to Learn Faster and Remember More

You go to the gym to train your muscles. You run outside or go for hikes to train your endurance. Or, maybe you do neither of those, but still wish you exercised more.

Well, here is how to train one of the most important parts of your body: your brain.

When you train your brain, you will:

  • Avoid embarrassing situations. You remember his face, but what was his name?
  • Be a faster learner in all sorts of different skills. No problem for you to pick up a new language or new management skill.
  • Avoid diseases that hit as you get older. Alzheimer’s will not be affecting you.

So how to train your brain and improve your cognitive skills?

1. Work your memory

Twyla Tharp, a NYC-based renowned choreographer has come up with the following memory workout:

When she watches one of her performances, she tries to remember the first twelve to fourteen corrections she wants to discuss with her cast without writing them down.

If you think this is anything less than a feat, then think again. In her book The Creative Habit she says that most people cannot remember more than three.

The practice of both remembering events or things and then discussing them with others has actually been supported by brain fitness studies.

Memory activities that engage all levels of brain operation—receiving, remembering and thinking—help to improve the function of the brain.

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Now, you may not have dancers to correct, but you may be required to give feedback on a presentation, or your friends may ask you what interesting things you saw at the museum. These are great opportunities to practically train your brain by flexing your memory muscles.

What is the simplest way to help yourself remember what you see? Repetition.

For example, say you just met someone new:

“Hi, my name is George”

Don’t just respond with, “Nice to meet you”. Instead, say, “Nice to meet you George.”

Got it? Good.

2. Do something different repeatedly

By actually doing something new over and over again, your brain wires new pathways that help you do this new thing better and faster.

Think back to when you were three years old. You surely were strong enough to hold a knife and a fork just fine. Yet, when you were eating all by yourself, you were creating a mess.

It was not a matter of strength, you see. It was a matter of cultivating more and better neural pathways that would help you eat by yourself just like an adult does.

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And guess what? With enough repetition you made that happen!

But how does this apply to your life right now?

Say you are a procrastinator. The more you don’t procrastinate, the more you teach your brain not to wait for the last minute to make things happen.

Now, you might be thinking “Duh, if only not procrastinating could be that easy!”

Well, it can be. By doing something really small, that you wouldn’t normally do, but is in the direction of getting that task done, you will start creating those new precious neural pathways.

So if you have been postponing organizing your desk, just take one paper and put in its right place. Or, you can go even smaller. Look at one piece of paper and decide where to put it: Trash? Right cabinet? Another room? Give it to someone?

You don’t actually need to clean up that paper; you only need to decide what you need to do with it.

That’s how small you can start. And yet, those neural pathways are still being built. Gradually, you will transform yourself from a procrastinator to an in-the-moment action taker.

3. Learn something new

It might sound obvious, but the more you use your brain, the better its going to perform for you.

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For example, learning a new instrument improves your skill of translating something you see (sheet music) to something you actually do (playing the instrument).

Learning a new language exposes your brain to a different way of thinking, a different way of expressing yourself.

You can even literally take it a step further, and learn how to dance. Studies indicate that learning to dance helps seniors avoid Alzheimer’s. Not bad, huh?

4. Follow a brain training program

The Internet world can help you improve your brain function while lazily sitting on your couch. A clinically proven program like BrainHQ can help you improve your memory, or think faster, by just following their brain training exercises.

5. Work your body

You knew this one was coming didn’t you? Yes indeed, exercise does not just work your body; it also improves the fitness of your brain.

Even briefly exercising for 20 minutes facilitates information processing and memory functions. But it’s not just that–exercise actually helps your brain create those new neural connections faster. You will learn faster, your alertness level will increase, and you get all that by moving your body.

Now, if you are not already a regular exerciser, and already feel guilty that you are not helping your brain by exercising more, try a brain training exercise program like Exercise Bliss.

Remember, just like we discussed in #2, by training your brain to do something new repeatedly, you are actually changing yourself permanently.

6. Spend time with your loved ones

If you want optimal cognitive abilities, then you’ve got to have meaningful relationships in your life.  Talking with others and engaging with your loved ones helps you think more clearly, and it can also lift your mood.

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If you are an extrovert, this holds even more weight for you. At a class at Stanford University, I learned that extroverts actually use talking to other people as a way to understand and process their own thoughts.

I remember that the teacher told us that after a personality test said she was an extrovert, she was surprised. She had always thought of herself as an introvert. But then, she realized how much talking to others helped her frame her own thoughts, so she accepted her new-found status as an extrovert.

7. Avoid crossword puzzles

Many of us, when we think of brain fitness, think of crossword puzzles. And it’s true–crossword puzzles do improve our fluency, yet studies show they are not enough by themselves.

Are they fun? Yes. Do they sharpen your brain? Not really.

Of course, if you are doing this for fun, then by all means go ahead. If you are doing it for brain fitness, then you might want to choose another activity

8. Eat right – and make sure dark chocolate is included

Foods like fish, fruits, and vegetables help your brain perform optimally. Yet, you might not know that dark chocolate gives your brain a good boost as well.

When you eat chocolate, your brain produces dopamine. And dopamine helps you learn faster and remember better. Not to mention, chocolate contains flavonols, antioxidants, which also improve your brain functions.

So next time you have something difficult to do, make sure you grab a bite or two of dark chocolate!

The bottom line

Now that you know how to train your brain, it’s actually time to start doing.

Don’t just consume this content and then go on with your life as if nothing has changed. Put this knowledge into action and become smarter than ever!

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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