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7 Reasons Why Some People’s Conversations Are More Memorable

7 Reasons Why Some People’s Conversations Are More Memorable

Sometimes the most charismatic people are the ones who finish first. Added to our skills should be how we make the other person feel when he/she engages us. Yes, great conversations stick to our heart for a long time. People who make great conversations are interesting to be with. It is a law of attraction to want to be around those who listen with their heart and also speak to our hearts. This is why people will always appreciate people like Stephen Fry and Charlie Rose. Here are some elements that make some conversations with some people more memorable than others.

1. They offer genuine compliments.

The human is wired not to refuse reciprocity. Great conversationalists offer thoughtful and genuine compliments during a conversation, which makes the other person feel validated and appreciated. This stirs the conversation and propels it in a positive direction. Make sure your compliment is sincere and these compliments could be directed at what they are wearing, doing, or saying.

2. They maintain steady eye contact.

In many cultures, maintaining eye contact with who you are speaking with adds sincerity and appropriateness to a conversation. It means you are serious and engaged during the conversation. Great conversationalist know why and how to make eye contact—they do this between 70–80% of the time and add value to the conversation with this non-verbal act.

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3. They contribute to the conversation.

It is better to also be a giver during a conversation rather than just a taker. Add interesting facts or elaborate on a statement. People who make great conversations observe their environment and pick up interesting stuff from it which could be infused into a conversation. It is like they are building something together with the other person. Great conversationalists contribute to the conversation and thus make the other person relaxed and comfortable.

4. They listen and are attentive.

“I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.”

—Ernest Hemingway

By listening and paying attention, you show you respect the other person. When the other person is listened to, he or she will feel important during the conversation. According to Michael Hyatt, great conversationalists listen with their hearts, and this doesn’t require any verbal action, but rather, good body language and attentive ears.

5. They remember the names of those they are speaking with.

People tend to like and appreciate you more if you use their name a few times during conversations. According to research, people respond better to their names as it validates their identity. Remembering names means you are a detailed person and this makes great conversationalist stand out.

6. They keep the conversation informative.

“Never leave home without reading the newspaper.”

—Leil Lowndes, author of How To To Talk To Anyone

The brain has a very short attention span so it is safer to be informed and provide an interesting conversation. This is why it is important to be abreast about current trends. They don’t have to start talking about a complex topic. It could be what happened on the last episode of Game of Thrones. As far as you bring an intelligent and informed angle to it, you will make a great conversation with it.

7. They are enthusiastic about what the other person has to say.

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming really interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. Which is just another way of saying that the way to make a friend is to be one.”

—Dale Carnegie

“When you’re interested, you’re interesting,” says Jill Spiegel, author of How to Talk to Anyone About Anything! Be open to what the other person has to say and ask intelligent questions moderately which would show that you are willing to know more about the other person.

Featured photo credit: Stephen Fry in V for Vendetta via mystery756.files.wordpress.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on September 17, 2020

5 Practical Ways to Get Over a Mental Block

5 Practical Ways to Get Over a Mental Block

There’s nothing quite like a state of “flow” when you’re working. The rare moments when your inspiration aligns with your motivation likely lead to some of your most creative work. Plus, it feels great to actually check a task or project off the list so you can move on to the next thing. Meanwhile, a mental block — its opposite — can cause work to feel laborious and uninspired. Forget creativity when you have a mental block — it makes it difficult even to start working on what you need to do.

A mental block can manifest in several ways. Perhaps your imposter syndrome is squelching your creative ideas, for instance, or you’re overwhelmed by the breadth of a project and its impending deadline. Maybe you’re just tired or stressed.

Either way, having a mental block feels like being trapped in your own head, and it can seriously dampen your ability to think outside the box. The problem is, you’re so locked into your own perspective that you don’t see more innovative approaches to your problems.[1]

Luckily, jumping over these mental hurdles is simpler than you think. You just need the right strategies to get your flow back.

Try these five practical ways to overcome a mental block.

1. Break Your Project Down

A few years ago, I was working on changing a company product that I believed would hugely benefit our customers. Sounds great, right?

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As inspired as I was to make people’s lives easier, though, the sheer magnitude of the task at hand felt overwhelming. Every morning, I cracked open my laptop to work and felt totally paralyzed. I loved the idea, yes, but actualizing it felt risky. What if it didn’t turn out the way I pictured in my mind? More importantly, where would I even begin?

A former colleague gave me great advice over coffee:

Change how you think. Start by breaking the big project down into small tasks.

When a major project overwhelms you, you only see the entire forest instead of the individual trees. And as you stare it down, you start to feel discouraged by your own lack of progress, thus slowing you down further.

Breaking down a massive task into smaller chunks makes the work feel more manageable. You’ll have multiple clear places to start and end with, which will lend a motivating sense of productivity and mastery to your process. Learn more about it here: The Motivation Flowchart: The Mental Process of Successful People

Think of it as accumulating small wins. When you realize you’re more capable than you have once thought, you’ll develop the momentum and confidence needed to get your big job done little by little.[2]

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2. Change Up Your Scenery

Of course, there’s a time and place for sitting down to get things done. But if you’re experiencing a mental block, switching up your surroundings can make a big difference in your output.

Have you ever noticed how your environment directly impacts your performance and mood?

Your brain associates your physical surroundings with certain feelings and activities. So, if you feel mentally stuck, your mind may need some new sensory stimuli.

During this time in your life, it may not be possible to set up shop at a cafe or move from your cubicle to a conference room, so you may need to think outside the box. If you’re working remotely in a home office, try going to your dining table or couch. If the weather cooperates, sit outside for a bit with your computer or take a walk around the block.

You can also simply rearrange your workspace. Not sure where to begin? Try decluttering. Some studies show that an organized desk enhances productivity.[3]

The point is to stimulate your brain with new sounds and sights. You may find a much-needed dose of inspiration when you work while breathing in the fresh air, listening to city sounds, or staying in the comfort of your own living space.

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3. Do an Unrelated Activity

When it comes to productivity, a bit of distraction isn’t always a bad thing. That’s especially true if your chosen distraction helps you get things done in the long run.

Have you realized how your most creative thoughts tend to bubble up when you’re, say, lying in bed or taking a shower? In their research of the “incubation period,” scientists have discovered that people’s best ideas seem to surface when they aren’t actively trying to solve a problem.[4]

In a 2010 study, participants needed to look for a roommate or new employee based on the profiles that the researchers gave. The people who had a brief “incubation period” — in this case, working on an anagram — consistently made better choices than those who spent more time weighing their options.

If you can’t seem to prime your brain for a project, try doing something completely unrelated to work, such as washing your dishes, working out, or calling a friend. Some experts say finding another low-stake project to work on can help jump-start the creative part of your brain and activate your flow.[5]

The key is to allow your unconscious mind to do its best work: eliciting the new knowledge your conscious mind may be ignoring or suppressing.[6]

4. Be Physical

Feeling antsy? When your mind won’t seem to settle into a state of flow, it may help to swap out your mental activity for a physical one and see how it impacts your perspective.

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While any physical activity is beneficial for your body — and getting up to move can serve as a helpful form of distraction — certain forms of exercise can more directly impact the mind. To be specific, relaxing, flow-based exercises like dance, yoga, or tai chi can create a gentle sense of momentum in your body, which can prime your brain for the same state.

Stress-reducing activities may also be necessary. Meditating or taking slow, deep breaths will also calm your nervous system if you’re feeling overwhelmed. Evidence shows that the logical, creative part of your brain essentially shuts off when you’re stressed.[7]

On the flip side, when your mind and body are relaxed, you can think more clearly, be more creative, and focus for longer periods — all of which will help you overcome a mental block.

5. Don’t Force It

It can be frustrating to fight against your own mind. If your mental block won’t go away after some effort, it may be time to take a break. Forcing creative thoughts only adds to your stress levels, which in turn inhibits your ability to think creatively. And if you sit and stare at a project for too long, you’ll not only waste valuable time but also begin to associate this specific work with frustration and produce work you’re not proud of.

“I know that forcing something is not going to create anything beyond mediocre, so I step aside and work on a different project until it hits me,” the artist Ben Skinner said about his creative process.[8]

If your work isn’t time-sensitive, then it may make sense to step away for a while to focus on something else, be it an administrative task that requires less creativity or a project that you feel motivated to work on.

When the time is right, you’ll find your way back to the original task with a fresh, creative perspective (hopefully).

More on Getting Rid of a Mental Block

Featured photo credit: Jonas Leupe via unsplash.com

Reference

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