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7 Reasons Why Some People’s Conversations Are More Memorable

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7 Reasons Why Some People’s Conversations Are More Memorable

Sometimes the most charismatic people are the ones who finish first. Added to our skills should be how we make the other person feel when he/she engages us. Yes, great conversations stick to our heart for a long time. People who make great conversations are interesting to be with. It is a law of attraction to want to be around those who listen with their heart and also speak to our hearts. This is why people will always appreciate people like Stephen Fry and Charlie Rose. Here are some elements that make some conversations with some people more memorable than others.

1. They offer genuine compliments.

The human is wired not to refuse reciprocity. Great conversationalists offer thoughtful and genuine compliments during a conversation, which makes the other person feel validated and appreciated. This stirs the conversation and propels it in a positive direction. Make sure your compliment is sincere and these compliments could be directed at what they are wearing, doing, or saying.

2. They maintain steady eye contact.

In many cultures, maintaining eye contact with who you are speaking with adds sincerity and appropriateness to a conversation. It means you are serious and engaged during the conversation. Great conversationalist know why and how to make eye contact—they do this between 70–80% of the time and add value to the conversation with this non-verbal act.

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3. They contribute to the conversation.

It is better to also be a giver during a conversation rather than just a taker. Add interesting facts or elaborate on a statement. People who make great conversations observe their environment and pick up interesting stuff from it which could be infused into a conversation. It is like they are building something together with the other person. Great conversationalists contribute to the conversation and thus make the other person relaxed and comfortable.

4. They listen and are attentive.

“I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.”

—Ernest Hemingway

By listening and paying attention, you show you respect the other person. When the other person is listened to, he or she will feel important during the conversation. According to Michael Hyatt, great conversationalists listen with their hearts, and this doesn’t require any verbal action, but rather, good body language and attentive ears.

5. They remember the names of those they are speaking with.

People tend to like and appreciate you more if you use their name a few times during conversations. According to research, people respond better to their names as it validates their identity. Remembering names means you are a detailed person and this makes great conversationalist stand out.

6. They keep the conversation informative.

“Never leave home without reading the newspaper.”

—Leil Lowndes, author of How To To Talk To Anyone

The brain has a very short attention span so it is safer to be informed and provide an interesting conversation. This is why it is important to be abreast about current trends. They don’t have to start talking about a complex topic. It could be what happened on the last episode of Game of Thrones. As far as you bring an intelligent and informed angle to it, you will make a great conversation with it.

7. They are enthusiastic about what the other person has to say.

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming really interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. Which is just another way of saying that the way to make a friend is to be one.”

—Dale Carnegie

“When you’re interested, you’re interesting,” says Jill Spiegel, author of How to Talk to Anyone About Anything! Be open to what the other person has to say and ask intelligent questions moderately which would show that you are willing to know more about the other person.

Featured photo credit: Stephen Fry in V for Vendetta via mystery756.files.wordpress.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on October 21, 2021

How to Create Your Own Ritual to Conquer Time Wasters and Laziness

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How to Create Your Own Ritual to Conquer Time Wasters and Laziness

Life is wasted in the in-between times. The time between when your alarm first rings and when you finally decide to get out of bed. The time between when you sit at your desk and when productive work begins. The time between making a decision and doing something about it.

Slowly, your day is whittled away from all the unused in-between moments. Eventually, time wasters, laziness, and procrastination get the better of you.

The solution to reclaim these lost middle moments is by creating rituals. Every culture on earth uses rituals to transfer information and encode behaviors that are deemed important. Personal rituals can help you build a better pattern for handling everything from how you wake up to how you work.

Unfortunately, when most people see rituals, they see pointless superstitions. Indeed, many rituals are based on a primitive understanding of the world. But by building personal rituals, you get to encode the behaviors you feel are important and cut out the wasted middle moments.

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Program Your Own Algorithms

Another way of viewing rituals is by seeing them as computer algorithms. An algorithm is a set of instructions that is repeated to get a result.

Some algorithms are highly efficient, sorting or searching millions of pieces of data in a few seconds. Other algorithms are bulky and awkward, taking hours to do the same task.

By forming rituals, you are building algorithms for your behavior. Take the delayed and painful pattern of waking up, debating whether to sleep in for another two minutes, hitting the snooze button, repeat until almost late for work. This could be reprogrammed to get out of bed immediately, without debating your decision.

How to Form a Ritual

I’ve set up personal rituals for myself for handling e-mail, waking up each morning, writing articles, and reading books. Far from making me inflexible, these rituals give me a useful default pattern that works best 99% of the time. Whenever my current ritual won’t work, I’m always free to stop using it.

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Forming a ritual isn’t too difficult, and the same principles for changing habits apply:

  1. Write out your sequence of behavior. I suggest starting with a simple ritual of only 3-4 steps maximum. Wait until you’ve established a ritual before you try to add new steps.
  2. Commit to following your ritual for thirty days. This step will take the idea and condition it into your nervous system as a habit.
  3. Define a clear trigger. When does your ritual start? A ritual to wake up is easy—the sound of your alarm clock will work. As for what triggers you to go to the gym, read a book or answer e-mail—you’ll have to decide.
  4. Tweak the Pattern. Your algorithm probably won’t be perfectly efficient the first time. Making a few tweaks after the first 30-day trial can make your ritual more useful.

Ways to Use a Ritual

Based on the above ideas, here are some ways you could implement your own rituals:

1. Waking Up

Set up a morning ritual for when you wake up and the next few things you do immediately afterward. To combat the grogginess after immediately waking up, my solution is to do a few pushups right after getting out of bed. After that, I sneak in ninety minutes of reading before getting ready for morning classes.

2. Web Usage

How often do you answer e-mail, look at Google Reader, or check Facebook each day? I found by taking all my daily internet needs and compressing them into one, highly-efficient ritual, I was able to cut off 75% of my web time without losing any communication.

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3. Reading

How much time do you get to read books? If your library isn’t as large as you’d like, you might want to consider the rituals you use for reading. Programming a few steps to trigger yourself to read instead of watching television or during a break in your day can chew through dozens of books each year.

4. Friendliness

Rituals can also help with communication. Set up a ritual of starting a conversation when you have opportunities to meet people.

5. Working

One of the hardest barriers when overcoming procrastination is building up a concentrated flow. Building those steps into a ritual can allow you to quickly start working or continue working after an interruption.

6. Going to the gym

If exercising is a struggle, encoding a ritual can remove a lot of the difficulty. Set up a quick ritual for going to exercise right after work or when you wake up.

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7. Exercise

Even within your workouts, you can have rituals. Spacing the time between runs or reps with a certain number of breaths can remove the guesswork. Forming a ritual of doing certain exercises in a particular order can save time.

8. Sleeping

Form a calming ritual in the last 30-60 minutes of your day before you go to bed. This will help slow yourself down and make falling asleep much easier. Especially if you plan to get up full of energy in the morning, it will help if you remove insomnia.

8. Weekly Reviews

The weekly review is a big part of the GTD system. By making a simple ritual checklist for my weekly review, I can get the most out of this exercise in less time. Originally, I did holistic reviews where I wrote my thoughts on the week and progress as a whole. Now, I narrow my focus toward specific plans, ideas, and measurements.

Final Thoughts

We all want to be productive. But time wasters, procrastination, and laziness sometimes get the better of us. If you’re facing such difficulties, don’t be afraid to make use of these rituals to help you conquer them.

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More Tips to Conquer Time Wasters and Procrastination

 

Featured photo credit: RODOLFO BARRETO via unsplash.com

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