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The Law Of Attraction: The Part No One Wants To Talk About

The Law Of Attraction: The Part No One Wants To Talk About

Law of Attraction: “The belief that positive thoughts are magnets for positive life experiences and negative thoughts are magnets for negative life experiences.” – Urban Dictionary

I understand the theory of the Law of Attraction. It makes sense. Until, of course, I think about the multitudes of children that have less than ideal, at best, and horrendous and terrifying, at worst, childhood experiences. Did their thoughts draw the negative experiences they had? Experiences that often start in infancy? Did mine?

Are we born with different energy vibrations?

With those questions in mind, I was led to presume we are born into this world with different energy vibrations, thereby attracting differing experiences. So why are we born with different vibrational energies? Is it possible that our vibrational energy at birth is based on the growth we experienced in our past life and how we left this world at that time?

Now, that is some heavy duty stuff. It also assumes I believe that we come here more than once. Although I have thoughts and opinions about that, we are going to stay focused right here and right now, since that is the reality with which we have to work.

Should we focus on what we have or on what we don’t have?

I am no expert on Universal Laws or specifically, the Law of Attraction. I am, however, becoming an expert on my own life experience. Years ago, before the law of attraction was even on my radar or was everywhere in the media, I was well into adulthood. My thoughts were not on healing and positivity. I did know I wanted to feel better, despite thinking that was not possible for me.

My thoughts were an out of control freight train, powering through my mind, searching for answers to questions, still unarticulated. My negativity run amok. I was angry, hurt, confused and discontent.

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I remember thinking I “should” be grateful and thankful for all the good I have in my life. At some level, I think I was, but I was also angry and was much more focused on what was lacking, which flies in the face of the law of attraction.

Yet, if we are not aware of what is lacking, how can we know what we want? Identifying what is lacking is a necessary step towards the manifestation of what we do want.

Sometimes it feels like, we’ll never be happy

When someone suggested I express gratitude for what was happening in my life, I was pretty sure they had no idea what I was feeling, as I gave them a resentful sneer. I could not express gratitude. I would not express gratitude for the misery I carried in my heart. I was angry enough at everything and everyone to withhold any gratitude I might have actually been feeling. Just out of spite. Yup, that was me.

There came a point, when I could be nothing other than what I was in that moment. I couldn’t fake anything. I could not see far enough ahead to see myself feeling happy, nor could I imagine what it looked like, let alone that it might be available to me.

I am assuming that most people who are hurting, physically or emotionally, long to feel better. Self-defeating behaviors that appear to the onlooker to be a self-fulfilling prophecy, might be the only way they know how to feel better in that particular moment.

Sometimes we choose the wrong things to comfort us instead of being mindful

I cannot begin to tell you the number of times I have lost that “last ten pounds”. So, if I want to lose that ten pounds and keep it off, then why am I eating a pint of ice cream? At any point I could have stopped this defeatist behavior.

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Why not at the store when I was examining the flavors available? How about when I took it from my cart and laid it on the belt at checkout? Why not when I was taking it out of my freezer and not scooping an appropriate portion into a bowl? How about when I was a quarter or even half way through the pint and could have put the lid on and placed it back into the freezer?

Well, because it was my comfort, my best friend. I did not care about any article on the “Ten Things To Do To Avoid Overeating” or counting to ten to let the impulse pass or most especially, “sitting with my feelings” instead. Hell, that is why I wanted the ice cream! Nope, hands down, I chose the ice cream. If it was mind over matter, matter won every time.

Listen to yourself, you already know what you want

If I was reading about and attempting to manifest what I wanted in my life, through the law of attraction, I would certainly have felt like a complete failure. Which I was already feeling. And isn’t that exactly the problem? I wanted to snap out on those positive, happy-go-lucky people, who did not seem to experience life the way I did. I was envious of of them. They irritated me.

So with all this negativity, how then did I find myself on a trajectory of healing, wholeness and good things, in spite of myself?! Is it possible that the often unspoken and unacknowledged desire to feel better or be happy, sets the law of attraction into motion, despite despair and negativity? I give that a resounding, “YES”.

I believe that way down deep, despite the negativity that crowds out positive thoughts, caused by the “I’m not enough” syndrome, most people know what they want. I believe most of us want the same things. We want to be understood, accepted and loved. We want to feel valued and have purpose. We want to matter. We so want to matter. And we do. The problem is, most don’t know it.

How to get what you desire

In that tucked away space, where the sun has yet to shine, the Law of Attraction is percolating away, inviting its manifestation. So what is the part of the Law of Attraction that no one talks about? It is what has to happen between identifying my desire and getting it.

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It is necessary to move away from old energy patterns, to make way for the new. And that means facing myself. That means grappling with those old and often deep seated beliefs that are no longer useful. That means feeling unresolved emotions.

If you have spent any time looking at the multitudes of books and articles related to the Law of Attraction and how to get what you want, then you already know that a big part of that process is believing you already have it. Feeling as though it is already true.

Check your deepest beliefs

When I was where I was, when I wasn’t where I am now, I could not make it feel true. It was a process of two steps forward and three steps back. I had to first acknowledge I didn’t believe I deserved to be happy or have the good things in life. That baby step led to the next and the next and there now sits a chasm between where I was and where I now am.

If I don’t believe I deserve to have the healthy body I want, then I won’t. That’s the Law of Attraction, right? So I have to ask myself, why don’t I believe I deserve that? If I do think I deserve it and still can’t manifest it, then I have to again ask, why?

What is the deep seated belief I unknowingly hold, that needs to be coaxed to the surface, lovingly held and gently released? I have found this question to be useful again and again and again. As I acknowledge and heal one part, it opens the door and invites another to show up for the same attention. And it is a never ending process of manifesting in my life more and more of what I want.

When I stand still, I see the horizon out ahead. When I grow, I move forward and the horizon moves forward as well. I then see things I couldn’t see or understand from my previous viewpoint. If you are asking for a healthy relationship, then won’t the universe need to address the parts of you that draws unhealthy. Don’t you have to be healthy before you can have healthy? Otherwise isn’t it doomed to fail?

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Take account of where you are right now

Another definition for the Law of Attraction is: “You get what you are, not what you want.” So each time we heal some part of ourselves, our vibrational energy increases and more positive will come into your life. What you want will show up, unexpectedly bearing gifts, for your life.

It won’t come in one fell swoop. You will be unable to maintain it, because you aren’t yet ready for it. Trust that the universe has your back, all the time, in every way, always working things out for your good. If you can see the prize, then see it. If you can feel what it will be like to have the prize, then by all means do so.

But if you can’t, then it is okay to be right where you are right now, in your pain. When the pain starts to clear, so will your mind. Know it is enough to want to be able to see what is up ahead, even if you can’t. Failure does not exist in the Law of Attraction. You are not in a race with anyone else. Social media only looks like everyone’s life is better than yours!

Take the baby step of acknowledging right where you are. Right here. Right now. No need to pretend.

And one day you will be saying, “Hey, all you positive, happy-go-lucky people, power to you! Maybe you were born at a higher frequency than me and had a head start. But hey, watch out, because this is a whole new life and I am right on your tail!”

Featured photo credit: William Stitt via images.unsplash.com

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Sandra Cooper

Psychotherapist

New Year’s Resolutions and Better Health Will The Real Me, Please Stand Up! Which One Of Those Voices In Your Head is Yours The Law Of Attraction: The Part No One Wants To Talk About

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Last Updated on July 5, 2019

5 Reasons Why You Should Always Be Yourself

5 Reasons Why You Should Always Be Yourself

When it comes to being yourself, there can be a lot of pressure from the outside world as it tries to influence who you are. Living in a society that is constantly developing, it’s important for you to always be yourself from the inside out. When you deeply know yourself and the boundaries that you have set, you are more likely to experience a fulfilling and rewarding life. Without knowing yourself and establishing those boundaries, you can easily be pushed around and end up on a dirt path.

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it” – Matthew 7:13-14

You have the option of taking the path that is broad or taking the path that is narrow. You can either conform to what life wants you to be, or have the courage to remain true to yourself throughout the years. It’s definitely a challenge to have a strong sense of self when we are constantly getting distracted and being influenced by the media and society’s way of life. But if you want to reach your fullest potential in life, it all starts with being yourself.

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Why should you always be yourself?

Because you will:

  1. Live in alignment with your values and beliefs. Being yourself is all about knowing what you believe in and the values that you live by. When you are not yourself, you will take on the values and beliefs of others. This is when you start conforming to other people’s expectations and way of thinking. When you know your values and why you do what you do, you will live according to your own values and beliefs.
  2. Establish your own identity. When you are able to have a solid foundation of being you, you are establishing your own sense of identity. No matter what happens in your life, you will always know who you are. There will be times where you may feel lost or distracted, but if you have your own identity you’ll be able to get back on the right path. Without establishing your own identity, you may easily conform and lose yourself.
  3. Build courage. It takes a great amount of courage when you decide to take the path that goes against the crowd. The reason why the majority of people take the broad path is because it’s easy. It’s easy to just follow the crowd. It’s more of a challenge when you stay true to yourself and establish your own identity. This challenge of always being yourself takes courage and inner strength. No matter what comes your way, you’ll know how to handle it.
  4. Establish boundaries. When you are always yourself, you know what your limits are and the boundaries that you have set for yourself. When people cross your boundaries, you will know. But if you don’t establish boundaries, people may very well walk all over you and take advantage of you. If you are always yourself and you establish boundaries, you are more likely to be aware when people start taking advantage of you. Create and establish your boundaries.
  5. Find focus and direction. When you are always yourself, you are more likely to have focus and direction in your life. Imagine someone who is constantly conforming to other people’s expectations. Do you think this person has focus and direction? I don’t think so. When you stay true to who you are, you are more likely to know the goals you want to accomplish and how to go about accomplishing them. You are able to stay focused and know which direction to take in order for you to accomplish your goals.

No matter what you experience in life, the only person that will always remain constant is you.

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Featured photo credit: María Victoria Heredia Reyes via unsplash.com

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