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The Law Of Attraction: The Part No One Wants To Talk About

The Law Of Attraction: The Part No One Wants To Talk About

Law of Attraction: “The belief that positive thoughts are magnets for positive life experiences and negative thoughts are magnets for negative life experiences.” – Urban Dictionary

I understand the theory of the Law of Attraction. It makes sense. Until, of course, I think about the multitudes of children that have less than ideal, at best, and horrendous and terrifying, at worst, childhood experiences. Did their thoughts draw the negative experiences they had? Experiences that often start in infancy? Did mine?

Are we born with different energy vibrations?

With those questions in mind, I was led to presume we are born into this world with different energy vibrations, thereby attracting differing experiences. So why are we born with different vibrational energies? Is it possible that our vibrational energy at birth is based on the growth we experienced in our past life and how we left this world at that time?

Now, that is some heavy duty stuff. It also assumes I believe that we come here more than once. Although I have thoughts and opinions about that, we are going to stay focused right here and right now, since that is the reality with which we have to work.

Should we focus on what we have or on what we don’t have?

I am no expert on Universal Laws or specifically, the Law of Attraction. I am, however, becoming an expert on my own life experience. Years ago, before the law of attraction was even on my radar or was everywhere in the media, I was well into adulthood. My thoughts were not on healing and positivity. I did know I wanted to feel better, despite thinking that was not possible for me.

My thoughts were an out of control freight train, powering through my mind, searching for answers to questions, still unarticulated. My negativity run amok. I was angry, hurt, confused and discontent.

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I remember thinking I “should” be grateful and thankful for all the good I have in my life. At some level, I think I was, but I was also angry and was much more focused on what was lacking, which flies in the face of the law of attraction.

Yet, if we are not aware of what is lacking, how can we know what we want? Identifying what is lacking is a necessary step towards the manifestation of what we do want.

Sometimes it feels like, we’ll never be happy

When someone suggested I express gratitude for what was happening in my life, I was pretty sure they had no idea what I was feeling, as I gave them a resentful sneer. I could not express gratitude. I would not express gratitude for the misery I carried in my heart. I was angry enough at everything and everyone to withhold any gratitude I might have actually been feeling. Just out of spite. Yup, that was me.

There came a point, when I could be nothing other than what I was in that moment. I couldn’t fake anything. I could not see far enough ahead to see myself feeling happy, nor could I imagine what it looked like, let alone that it might be available to me.

I am assuming that most people who are hurting, physically or emotionally, long to feel better. Self-defeating behaviors that appear to the onlooker to be a self-fulfilling prophecy, might be the only way they know how to feel better in that particular moment.

Sometimes we choose the wrong things to comfort us instead of being mindful

I cannot begin to tell you the number of times I have lost that “last ten pounds”. So, if I want to lose that ten pounds and keep it off, then why am I eating a pint of ice cream? At any point I could have stopped this defeatist behavior.

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Why not at the store when I was examining the flavors available? How about when I took it from my cart and laid it on the belt at checkout? Why not when I was taking it out of my freezer and not scooping an appropriate portion into a bowl? How about when I was a quarter or even half way through the pint and could have put the lid on and placed it back into the freezer?

Well, because it was my comfort, my best friend. I did not care about any article on the “Ten Things To Do To Avoid Overeating” or counting to ten to let the impulse pass or most especially, “sitting with my feelings” instead. Hell, that is why I wanted the ice cream! Nope, hands down, I chose the ice cream. If it was mind over matter, matter won every time.

Listen to yourself, you already know what you want

If I was reading about and attempting to manifest what I wanted in my life, through the law of attraction, I would certainly have felt like a complete failure. Which I was already feeling. And isn’t that exactly the problem? I wanted to snap out on those positive, happy-go-lucky people, who did not seem to experience life the way I did. I was envious of of them. They irritated me.

So with all this negativity, how then did I find myself on a trajectory of healing, wholeness and good things, in spite of myself?! Is it possible that the often unspoken and unacknowledged desire to feel better or be happy, sets the law of attraction into motion, despite despair and negativity? I give that a resounding, “YES”.

I believe that way down deep, despite the negativity that crowds out positive thoughts, caused by the “I’m not enough” syndrome, most people know what they want. I believe most of us want the same things. We want to be understood, accepted and loved. We want to feel valued and have purpose. We want to matter. We so want to matter. And we do. The problem is, most don’t know it.

How to get what you desire

In that tucked away space, where the sun has yet to shine, the Law of Attraction is percolating away, inviting its manifestation. So what is the part of the Law of Attraction that no one talks about? It is what has to happen between identifying my desire and getting it.

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It is necessary to move away from old energy patterns, to make way for the new. And that means facing myself. That means grappling with those old and often deep seated beliefs that are no longer useful. That means feeling unresolved emotions.

If you have spent any time looking at the multitudes of books and articles related to the Law of Attraction and how to get what you want, then you already know that a big part of that process is believing you already have it. Feeling as though it is already true.

Check your deepest beliefs

When I was where I was, when I wasn’t where I am now, I could not make it feel true. It was a process of two steps forward and three steps back. I had to first acknowledge I didn’t believe I deserved to be happy or have the good things in life. That baby step led to the next and the next and there now sits a chasm between where I was and where I now am.

If I don’t believe I deserve to have the healthy body I want, then I won’t. That’s the Law of Attraction, right? So I have to ask myself, why don’t I believe I deserve that? If I do think I deserve it and still can’t manifest it, then I have to again ask, why?

What is the deep seated belief I unknowingly hold, that needs to be coaxed to the surface, lovingly held and gently released? I have found this question to be useful again and again and again. As I acknowledge and heal one part, it opens the door and invites another to show up for the same attention. And it is a never ending process of manifesting in my life more and more of what I want.

When I stand still, I see the horizon out ahead. When I grow, I move forward and the horizon moves forward as well. I then see things I couldn’t see or understand from my previous viewpoint. If you are asking for a healthy relationship, then won’t the universe need to address the parts of you that draws unhealthy. Don’t you have to be healthy before you can have healthy? Otherwise isn’t it doomed to fail?

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Take account of where you are right now

Another definition for the Law of Attraction is: “You get what you are, not what you want.” So each time we heal some part of ourselves, our vibrational energy increases and more positive will come into your life. What you want will show up, unexpectedly bearing gifts, for your life.

It won’t come in one fell swoop. You will be unable to maintain it, because you aren’t yet ready for it. Trust that the universe has your back, all the time, in every way, always working things out for your good. If you can see the prize, then see it. If you can feel what it will be like to have the prize, then by all means do so.

But if you can’t, then it is okay to be right where you are right now, in your pain. When the pain starts to clear, so will your mind. Know it is enough to want to be able to see what is up ahead, even if you can’t. Failure does not exist in the Law of Attraction. You are not in a race with anyone else. Social media only looks like everyone’s life is better than yours!

Take the baby step of acknowledging right where you are. Right here. Right now. No need to pretend.

And one day you will be saying, “Hey, all you positive, happy-go-lucky people, power to you! Maybe you were born at a higher frequency than me and had a head start. But hey, watch out, because this is a whole new life and I am right on your tail!”

Featured photo credit: William Stitt via images.unsplash.com

More by this author

Sandra Cooper

Psychotherapist

New Year’s Resolutions and Better Health Will The Real Me, Please Stand Up! Which One Of Those Voices In Your Head is Yours The Law Of Attraction: The Part No One Wants To Talk About

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Last Updated on January 17, 2019

8 Simple Mindfulness Exercises to Bring Peace and Happiness to Your Life

8 Simple Mindfulness Exercises to Bring Peace and Happiness to Your Life

In life, we all need to be conscientious of what we are doing. You don’t need to live a life of stress if you don’t want to. You can achieve peace and happiness in life by carefully building mindfulness exercises into your life’s routine.

Exercising mindfulness isn’t rocket science and as importantly, you can do it. It will, however, take a few tries to get into the groove of things but once you get it, it is like riding a bike, you will never lose it.

Trust me. It’s in your best interest to learn and put these mindfulness exercises into practice. In this article, I will share with you 8 mindfulness exercises that will help you to boost your energy, vitality and live a more peaceful and happier life.

Why Is It Hard to Live A Peaceful And Happy Life?

Our Habitat Has Become Too Technological

The world has accepted the idea that technology is often the cure for all evil. We have accepted, as a society, that everything technological will make us live a better life without fully investigating the many side effects that modernity brings.

There are a number of technological side effects that have a tremendous impact on your life that the media rarely tells you about.[1] Some of them include self-harm, economic inequality, having less sex, and even suicide. The global community is becoming less happy because of technology.

How can anybody live a peaceful and happy life when they are depressed? Technology advancements, ladies and gents, is a major reason for why we are living a poor life because it has infiltrated our lives too much.

According to my research, Americans spend an average of 8 hours a day looking at the computer screen — The average screen time spent on smartphones alone is about 20 hours per week. That’s a lot! No wonder why living a happy and peaceful life is so difficult these days.

Too Many People Don’t Want to Unplug

Americans check their phones an average of 80 times during vacation.[2] Some admit to checking their smartphones 300 times every single day. In countries like Brazil, India and China, the situation is no different.

The reality is that people are constantly plugged into technological devices and this behavior is literally making people all over the globe fight an inner war with themselves, which consequently makes them very sad. As we know, war is the enemy of peace which won’t make anybody happy.

Listen carefully:

We have a global anxiety epidemic because people don’t want to unplug from their smartphones and most people aren’t doing anything to fix it. It is a sad state of affairs but very real. This obsession with technology is turning us into perishable robots who live terrible lives.

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The era of anxiety is here to stay. There is little doubt about it. We can, however, fight back with the best remedy of all — We call it mindfulness!

Thank God there is an antidote to this whole technological madness. Without further ado, let’s go straight to the mindful exercises.

8 Mindfulness Exercises to Start Practicing

There are tons of mindfulness exercises available for you to engage with out there.[3] In the paragraphs below, I will include the best ones I’ve personally tried or have seen my close friends and family members try.

Are you ready for it? Let’s go!

1. Pray Daily

You should pray on a daily basis. Why is that you may ask — Well, because science has told us to do so.

When people pray, they feel peaceful, almost eliminating anxiety. Worries become secondary, and often gives people energy and hope to cope with the difficulties of life.

Prayer can make you more confident and focused. Prayer also helps you with self-control, helps to control pain, and can protect you against illnesses and disorders like cancer and high blood pressure. At least, this is what researchers from Harvard Medical School have said.[4]

Pray. You won’t regret it.[5]

2. Pay Attention to Your Inner Thoughts

A lot of people allow themselves to be influenced by their negative thoughts. Be different and resist believing in them. It is a bad habit that can lead to unhappiness.

By the way, if you do feel this way, chances are high that somebody other than you put these thoughts into your head.

Here is my secret to combat this cancer — look at things objectively. I bet that if you look at things as they are, you will realize that most if not all of your negative thoughts are only inside of your head.

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If you pay close attention, you will quickly realize that these voices aren’t worth your time. Believe me — Ignoring them and looking at things with objectivity is often the best course of action.

This article can guide you to beat negative thoughts:

How to Stop Automatic Negative Thoughts When You’re Overwhelmed

3. Smile Often

Smiling will slow down your heart. It will also relax your body because when you smile, your body releases endorphins which in itself has a number of positive benefits for you as a person.

Smile often! You may want to smile early in the morning, during the day, and late in the evening. It is amazing what happens to you when you decide to smile instead of being grumpy.

Surrender your problems to a nice smile. You will notice two things. First, most people just don’t which makes them live a miserable life. Second, if you decide to smile often, you will eventually smile unconsciously which is the ideal.

The moment that you smile unconsciously, you then know that you are truly happy.

4. Organize Your Working Desk

A messy desk will make you less productive and can agitate and overstimulate you. You don’t want that.

When you clear your desk, you engage in deep inner-thinking and your systematic decision making ends up becoming therapeutic.

Most people realize that they are most creative when their creative space is clean and organized. The former often makes people more aware of what they are doing which lends to less stress and more productivity.

Organizing your desk will also make you more energetic and focused because order often decreases chaos which is a condition that often slows down daily progress.

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5. Celebrate Your Friend’s Victories

I love this mindful exercise. One of the best ways to live a happy and peaceful life is to celebrate the victories of others. When you do that, you automatically make your friends in a better mood which makes you in a better mood, as well.

Happiness is contagious! We might as well celebrate others as much as we can. If you find out that your peer has won an award, celebrate with him! If your friend is the recipient of a local charity award, celebrate with her!

What is also awesome is that when you celebrate with others, they often celebrate with you in return. This, ladies and gentleman, will make you feel fantastic. You can’t go wrong with this one, period.

6. Listen to Your Spouse/Partner

God put someone in your life for a reason. You might as well listen to him or her.

I listen to my wife everyday. In fact, I often ask the following question to her, “Amanda, what are your thoughts about…” or “What am I missing about…” It is shocking what I hear back from her. Without her having much context and perspective, by the art of observation in my own nonverbal behavior and the behavior of others, she accurately gives me incredible insights which helps me out with living my life to the fullest.

I’m a firm believer that spouses are supposed to engage in interpersonal communication every day. I most definitely do and will continue doing it. You should do the same.

7. Give Yourself a Break from Technology

You can’t be in total equilibrium if your computerized devices control your life. You must get away from technology on a daily basis.[6]

How do you do that? This is my formula:

First, take this smartphone control test. It is only ten questions but this test will place you somewhere in the human robot cycle continuum.

If your score is between 25-30, take a break from the computer (or smartphone, pad, laptop/desktop) every twenty minutes and stop being on a computerized device after 8:00pm.

If you score between 30-35, still take a break every 20 minutes but stop being on these devices at 5:00pm.

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If you score more than 35, you need to take action immediately.

Limit computer use as much as possible throughout the day. Give yourself as many breaks from the computer as possible. Are you ready for the challenge?

8. Go Exercise

Go exercise at least three times a week. I don’t care if you need to workout early in the morning, late in the evening, on the weekends or during work days. Working out is absolutely imperative for you to live happy and peaceful life.

The stresses of the modern world are too much for you to neglect this important mindfulness exercise. When you go to the gym, you burn calories, focus on activities one step at a time, your mind relaxes, anxiety decreases, you sweat and often think about topics unrelated to your work place among many other benefits.

You must exercise at least three hours each week for optimum results. Why? Just take a look at all the benefits of regular exercising:

12 Benefits of Regular Exercise You Should Know

The Bottom Line

It’s in your best interest to learn and put these mindfulness exercises into practice. Now that our habitat has become too technological and many people just don’t want to unplug, engaging in daily prayer, celebrate your friends’ victories, and listening to your spouse are among the best ways to be mindful about what you are doing and how you are living.

It is possible to live a happy and peaceful life. It only depends on you.

Go exercise! Take a break from technology and invest in you! Life is too short for distractions.

More Resources About Mindfulness

Featured photo credit: Lesly Juarez via unsplash.com

Reference

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