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10 Things That Will Happen When You Enjoy the Success of Others

10 Things That Will Happen When You Enjoy the Success of Others

The writer Gore Vidal once said “Every time a friend succeeds, I die a little.” That pretty much sums up the default reaction many of us have when someone from our peer group achieves something that separates them from the pack. While jealously is a normal and common reaction, learning to stifle it can open up more doors than you could ever imagine. Take, for examples, these 10 things that happen when you learn to enjoy other people’s success:

1. You will feel happier

Emotions are contagious and self-replicating. Negativity breeds more negativity and positivity breeds positivity. When you enjoy the success of others, you start a positive feedback loop of positive thinking in your own mind. It works even if you have to fake your enthusiasm at first.

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2. You will be liked

When you learn to celebrate other people’s accomplishments in a sincere way, you will stand out from the pack of people who only superficially support them. They will be able to tell when you really mean it and they will feel like you are a real ally. And it never hurts to have successful friends.

3. You will learn new things

When you stop feeling jealous and actually start celebrating other people’s victories, you will start to recognize patterns of behavior that lead to success. By internalizing what different people do to achieve their goals and remembering which strategies work and which don’t, you will gain a better understanding of what is required to move yourself forward.

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4. You will be exposed to opportunities

Successful people are smart enough to remember the people who legitimately supported them on their way up. For that reason, when you enjoy the success of others you imbed yourself in the mind of a person who might be able to help you out later on.

5. You will surround yourself with success

If you choose to attend the party celebrating your co-worker’s new promotion instead of hiding in a dark corner plotting your revenge, you might just find yourself in a perfect networking opportunity. Just like emotions, success itself is contagious. When you immerse yourself in the culture of success, you increase the chance that some of it will rub off on you.

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6. You will become a more confident person

When you incorporate positive thinking into your default response to events that happen around you, the world will start to seem like a brighter, more friendly place. You will recognize and remember opportunities and you will begin to internalize that trait that have helped other people achieve success. The upshot is a more confident and self-assured you.

7. You will stop comparing yourself to others

When you start celebrating other people you will take energy away from actively comparing yourself to them. Nothing will make you feel more free than letting go of the feeling that you always have to measure up to those around you. Step into the role of a student and see what knowledge you can gain from the successful people you know.

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8. You will be inspired

Following the life stories of people who have accomplished what you are working towards can inspire you. They will show you that success is possible and present you with ways of achieving it you may not have considered. Use that motivation to work towards your own success.

9. You will inspire others

When people see you supporting a coworker in their recent success, they may reconsider their own negative reactions. By setting aside petty jealousy you can set a good example for the people around you and teach them to celebrate the positive things in life, even if they may not directly effect you.

10. You will increase the likelihood of your own success

As we have seen, celebrating the success of other people will help you expand your social network, learn new things, feel better, and identify alternate paths to achieving your own goals. For that reason, when you enjoy the success of others, you increase the likelihood of your own success. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

Featured photo credit: David Morris via flickr.com

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

The Power of Ritual: Conquer Procrastination, Time Wasters and Laziness

The Power of Ritual: Conquer Procrastination, Time Wasters and Laziness

Life is wasted in the in-between times. The time between when your alarm first rings and when you finally decide to get out of bed. The time between when you sit at your desk and when productive work begins. The time between making a decision and doing something about it.

Slowly, your day is whittled away from all the unused in-between moments. Eventually, time wasters, laziness, and procrastination get the better of you.

The solution to reclaim these lost middle moments is by creating rituals. Every culture on earth uses rituals to transfer information and encode behaviors that are deemed important. Personal rituals can help you build a better pattern for handling everything from how you wake up to how you work.

Unfortunately, when most people see rituals, they see pointless superstitions. Indeed, many rituals are based on a primitive understanding of the world. But by building personal rituals, you get to encode the behaviors you feel are important and cut out the wasted middle moments.

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Program Your Own Algorithms

Another way of viewing rituals is by seeing them as computer algorithms. An algorithm is a set of instructions that is repeated to get a result.

Some algorithms are highly efficient, sorting or searching millions of pieces of data in a few seconds. Other algorithms are bulky and awkward, taking hours to do the same task.

By forming rituals, you are building algorithms for your behavior. Take the delayed and painful pattern of waking up, debating whether to sleep in for another two minutes, hitting the snooze button, repeat until almost late for work. This could be reprogrammed to get out of bed immediately, without debating your decision.

How to Form a Ritual

I’ve set up personal rituals for myself for handling e-mail, waking up each morning, writing articles, and reading books. Far from making me inflexible, these rituals give me a useful default pattern that works best 99% of the time. Whenever my current ritual won’t work, I’m always free to stop using it.

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Forming a ritual isn’t too difficult, and the same principles for changing habits apply:

  1. Write out your sequence of behavior. I suggest starting with a simple ritual of only 3-4 steps maximum. Wait until you’ve established a ritual before you try to add new steps.
  2. Commit to following your ritual for thirty days. This step will take the idea and condition it into your nervous system as a habit.
  3. Define a clear trigger. When does your ritual start? A ritual to wake up is easy—the sound of your alarm clock will work. As for what triggers you to go to the gym, read a book or answer e-mail—you’ll have to decide.
  4. Tweak the Pattern. Your algorithm probably won’t be perfectly efficient the first time. Making a few tweaks after the first 30-day trial can make your ritual more useful.

Ways to Use a Ritual

Based on the above ideas, here are some ways you could implement your own rituals:

1. Waking Up

Set up a morning ritual for when you wake up and the next few things you do immediately afterward. To combat the grogginess after immediately waking up, my solution is to do a few pushups right after getting out of bed. After that, I sneak in ninety minutes of reading before getting ready for morning classes.

2. Web Usage

How often do you answer e-mail, look at Google Reader, or check Facebook each day? I found by taking all my daily internet needs and compressing them into one, highly-efficient ritual, I was able to cut off 75% of my web time without losing any communication.

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3. Reading

How much time do you get to read books? If your library isn’t as large as you’d like, you might want to consider the rituals you use for reading. Programming a few steps to trigger yourself to read instead of watching television or during a break in your day can chew through dozens of books each year.

4. Friendliness

Rituals can also help with communication. Set up a ritual of starting a conversation when you have opportunities to meet people.

5. Working

One of the hardest barriers when overcoming procrastination is building up a concentrated flow. Building those steps into a ritual can allow you to quickly start working or continue working after an interruption.

6. Going to the gym

If exercising is a struggle, encoding a ritual can remove a lot of the difficulty. Set up a quick ritual for going to exercise right after work or when you wake up.

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7. Exercise

Even within your workouts, you can have rituals. Spacing the time between runs or reps with a certain number of breaths can remove the guesswork. Forming a ritual of doing certain exercises in a particular order can save time.

8. Sleeping

Form a calming ritual in the last 30-60 minutes of your day before you go to bed. This will help slow yourself down and make falling asleep much easier. Especially if you plan to get up full of energy in the morning, it will help if you remove insomnia.

8. Weekly Reviews

The weekly review is a big part of the GTD system. By making a simple ritual checklist for my weekly review, I can get the most out of this exercise in less time. Originally, I did holistic reviews where I wrote my thoughts on the week and progress as a whole. Now, I narrow my focus toward specific plans, ideas, and measurements.

Final Thoughts

We all want to be productive. But time wasters, procrastination, and laziness sometimes get the better of us. If you’re facing such difficulties, don’t be afraid to make use of these rituals to help you conquer them.

More Tips to Conquer Time Wasters and Procrastination

 

Featured photo credit: RODOLFO BARRETO via unsplash.com

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