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10 Habits of Highly Respected People

10 Habits of Highly Respected People

In a world where character and integrity becomes rarer when we find someone who embodies such scarce elements we admire and respect them. What is scarce is revered and valued. That is why highly respected people are successful in maintaining certain values and inspiring others around them. However it is important to know that like a monumental structure these habits that shape highly respected people are not cultivated overnight but with consistency and perseverance. Here are 10 habits of highly respected people.

1. They are accessible

They are reachable, approachable and are willing to connect. They do not build gigantic walls around themselves rather they build bridges to connect with others and to forge relationships.

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2. They are grateful

They are not too caught up in their lives or their activities to say thank you or send an appreciative note. Highly respected are grateful to the efforts or good gestures of others. They are not caught up in their world or in their personal image not to brighten another person’s day by saying “thank you.”

3. They are passionate

They follow their hearts rather than the opinion of others. They are excited about what they do not to fall for the misconceptions or conventional opinions of the people around them. Rather than being victims of the world around them, they are passionate enough to inspire and influence the passions and creativity of others.

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4. They are courteous

They understand that they do not need to ask or request for respect. They understand that they have to earn it. Thus they reach out to everyone they can with a respectful approach. They do not single anyone out or offer preferential treatment to some over others. Rather they are willing to acknowledge everyone they meet.

5. They are tactical when they respond to criticism

They don’t respond impulsively or rashly to every comment or criticism fired at them. They understand that to attain the higher ground they do not have take the bait and go toe-to-toe with everyone who throws a punch at them. Thus they are tactful at how they respond to criticism or the naysayers, sometimes not even responding at all could show how matured they are.

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6. They practice what they preach

They do not say one thing or do another. They make sure their lives reflect what they preach and inspire others through their actions rather than words. They know that talk is cheap and rather than crumble to one scandalous act or another they preserve their reputation and character.

7. They are consistent

They do not just win and earn their respect through a singular act. Rather they keep on striving to get better. They are consistent and continue to strive to meet higher goals. Whether it is in entering a new field or challenging themselves to a different endeavor within their field, they make sure they push themselves to greater heights.

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8. They are willing to make sacrifices

They are not bigger than themselves or have a magnified image of who they are. They want to do something positive to their environment and this may mean wearing the hat of responsibility and taking charge when every other person steps back. Thus they are courageous and never act cowardly.

9. They focus on solutions rather than problems

They are constantly in search for answers on how to better themselves and those who are around. Rather than pointing fingers or playing the victim, they know that it is up to them to make their environment better.

10. They are disciplined

When they have to take a particular channel; they also understand that committing themselves to anything means that they have to wait for rewards. They wouldn’t want to take illegal or shorter routes to their destination. Rather they would go for the one that doesn’t tolerate mediocrity but excellence.

Featured photo credit: http://www.flickr.com via flickr.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on July 17, 2019

The Science of Setting Goals (And How It Affects Your Brain)

The Science of Setting Goals (And How It Affects Your Brain)

What happens in our heads when we set goals?

Apparently a lot more than you’d think.

Goal setting isn’t quite so simple as deciding on the things you’d like to accomplish and working towards them.

According to the research of psychologists, neurologists, and other scientists, setting a goal invests ourselves into the target as if we’d already accomplished it. That is, by setting something as a goal, however small or large, however near or far in the future, a part of our brain believes that desired outcome is an essential part of who we are – setting up the conditions that drive us to work towards the goals to fulfill the brain’s self-image.

Apparently, the brain cannot distinguish between things we want and things we have. Neurologically, then, our brains treat the failure to achieve our goal the same way as it treats the loss of a valued possession. And up until the moment, the goal is achieved, we have failed to achieve it, setting up a constant tension that the brain seeks to resolve.

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Ideally, this tension is resolved by driving us towards accomplishment. In many cases, though, the brain simply responds to the loss, causing us to feel fear, anxiety, even anguish, depending on the value of the as-yet-unattained goal.

Love, Loss, Dopamine, and Our Dreams

The brains functions are carried out by a stew of chemicals called neurotransmitters. You’ve probably heard of serotonin, which plays a key role in our emotional life – most of the effective anti-depressant medications on the market are serotonin reuptake inhibitors, meaning they regulate serotonin levels in the brain leading to more stable moods.

Somewhat less well-known is another neurotransmitter, dopamine. Among other things, dopamine acts as a motivator, creating a sensation of pleasure when the brain is stimulated by achievement. Dopamine is also involved in maintaining attention – some forms of ADHD are linked to irregular responses to dopamine.[1]

So dopamine plays a key role in keeping us focused on our goals and motivating us to attain them, rewarding our attention and achievement by elevating our mood. That is, we feel good when we work towards our goals.

Dopamine is related to wanting – to desire. The attainment of the object of our desire releases dopamine into our brains and we feel good. Conversely, the frustration of our desires starves us of dopamine, causing anxiety and fear.

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One of the greatest desires is romantic love – the long-lasting, “till death do us part” kind. It’s no surprise, then, that romantic love is sustained, at least in part, through the constant flow of dopamine released in the presence – real or imagined – of our true love. Loss of romantic love cuts off that supply of dopamine, which is why it feels like you’re dying – your brain responds by triggering all sorts of anxiety-related responses.

Herein lies obsession, as we go to ever-increasing lengths in search of that dopamine reward. Stalking specialists warn against any kind of contact with a stalker, positive or negative, because any response at all triggers that reward mechanism. If you let the phone ring 50 times and finally pick up on the 51st ring to tell your stalker off, your stalker gets his or her reward, and learns that all s/he has to do is wait for the phone to ring 51 times.

Romantic love isn’t the only kind of desire that can create this kind of dopamine addiction, though – as Captain Ahab (from Moby Dick) knew well, any suitably important goal can become an obsession once the mind has established ownership.

The Neurology of Ownership

Ownership turns out to be about a lot more than just legal rights. When we own something, we invest a part of ourselves into it – it becomes an extension of ourselves.

In a famous experiment at Cornell University, researchers gave students school logo coffee mugs, and then offered to trade them chocolate bars for the mugs. Very few were willing to make the trade, no matter how much they professed to like chocolate. Big deal, right? Maybe they just really liked those mugs![2]

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But when they reversed the experiment, handing out chocolate and then offering to trade mugs for the candy, they found that now, few students were all that interested in the mugs. Apparently the key thing about the mugs or the chocolate wasn’t whether students valued whatever they had in their possession, but simply that they had it in their possession.

This phenomenon is called the “endowment effect”. In a nutshell, the endowment effect occurs when we take ownership of an object (or idea, or person); in becoming “ours” it becomes integrated with our sense of identity, making us reluctant to part with it (losing it is seen as a loss, which triggers that dopamine shut-off I discussed above).

Interestingly, researchers have found that the endowment effect doesn’t require actual ownership or even possession to come into play. In fact, it’s enough to have a reasonable expectation of future possession for us to start thinking of something as a part of us – as jilted lovers, gambling losers, and 7-year olds denied a toy at the store have all experienced.

The Upshot for Goal-Setters

So what does all this mean for would-be achievers?

On one hand, it’s a warning against setting unreasonable goals. The bigger the potential for positive growth a goal has, the more anxiety and stress your brain is going to create around it’s non-achievement.

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It also suggests that the common wisdom to limit your goals to a small number of reasonable, attainable objectives is good advice. The more goals you have, the more ends your brain thinks it “owns” and therefore the more grief and fear the absence of those ends is going to cause you.

On a more positive note, the fact that the brain rewards our attentiveness by releasing dopamine means that our brain is working with us to direct us to achievement. Paying attention to your goals feels good, encouraging us to spend more time doing it. This may be why outcome visualization — a favorite technique of self-help gurus involving imagining yourself having completed your objectives — has such a poor track record in clinical studies. It effectively tricks our brain into rewarding us for achieving our goals even though we haven’t done it yet!

But ultimately, our brain wants us to achieve our goals, so that it’s a sense of who we are that can be fulfilled. And that’s pretty good news!

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Featured photo credit: Alexa Williams via unsplash.com

Reference

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