Last Updated on June 17, 2020

How to Stop Making Excuses And Start Taking Responsibility

How to Stop Making Excuses And Start Taking Responsibility

The toughest thing about excuses is they tend to be based in some semblance of truth. You really did miss the meeting because two lanes were closed due to a car accident. It’s also true your wifi did not work the night the paper was due. It may even be realistic to say you would be more successful if you had more support from your family.

There are plenty of valid reasons to explain why success was out of your reach. Yet, wouldn’t you trade every excuse for the opportunity to be successful? That’s the thing about excuses. As good as they are, they are a sign you fell short of your intended goal. That is why it is essential you discover how to stop making excuses so you can live your dream life.

Why Do People Make Excuses?

Learning how to stop making excuses will ensure you are always in control of your life. The most common reason people make excuses is because they don’t like a particular result in their life[1].

This result could about their finances, family, career, or health. When faced with the question of why your life is not where you want it to be, you can make an excuse or accept responsibility. The mistake most people make is they blame their shortcomings on outside circumstances.


While excuses may seem insignificant, they are actually very dangerous to your ability to create your dream life.

Imagine if your goal was to lose twenty pounds in 90 days. At the end of the 90 days, you stepped on the scale and discovered you only lost five pounds. As you contemplate what went wrong, your first thought was about all the times you cheated on the meal plan. Then, you remembered the days you were tired or busy and skipped your workout. By taking responsibility for not achieving your goal, you give yourself the opportunity to improve in the future.

For instance, if you know you didn’t achieve your weight loss goal because you didn’t follow the plan, all you need to do is find a way to stick to the plan. If you followed your plan and didn’t achieve your goal, then you need to reevaluate your goal or the plan. You may realize your goal wasn’t realistic in the time provided. In this situation, you can either adjust your goal or adjust the amount of time you give yourself to achieve your goal. Either way, you know exactly what to do to create the results you want in your life.

When you blame your failures on a circumstance or situation out of control, you will find yourself waiting for the world to give you the life you desire. Those who understand that excuses limit their ability to succeed will relish in the opportunity to take responsibility for the results in their life.


How to Stop Making Excuses

If you really want to stop making excuses and focus on achieving success, try the following tips to keep yourself on track.

1. Recognize the Need to Step out of Your Comfort Zone

If you want to learn how to stop making excuses, you need to focus on why you want to improve your life. When doubt creeps into your mind, you will start to make excuses to justify keeping things the same. When your mind is in this state, your motivation to continue is the furthest thing from it. Your mind has transitioned into “flight or fight” mode[2]. Therefore, every excuse you think of is an attempt to justify a return to your comfort zone.

The most dangerous aspect of your comfort-zone is the fact that it can feel so… comfortable. Your comfort zone is filled with habits you have grown accustomed to. The problem with staying in your comfort zone is that the changes you want to make in your life require you to leave it to expand your horizons. As the saying goes, what got you here won’t get you there.

2. Focus on Your Motivation

To motivate yourself to expand your comfort zone and stop making excuses, you need to keep your passion and motivation in the forefront of your mind. Each time you succumb to your excuses, you are creating a reason to accept the status quo of your life. There will always be a reason to wait for tomorrow, but you cannot allow yourself to continue procrastinating.


Ask yourself, “How do I see my life changing when I accomplish my goal?” Will you be better positioned to take care of your family, support causes you are passionate about, or chase your dreams? Whatever the reason, understand that excuses rob you of the opportunity to accomplish your dreams.

3. Fight the Fear of Failure

Those who know how to stop making excuses accept the fact that they will not always get it right the first time. Fear of failure causes many to make excuses to justify their inaction[3].

Taking steps into the unknown is difficult. Your mind is focused on keeping you safe, and as a result, it is bombarding you with images of the worst-case scenario.

If your goal is to apply for a new job or start your own business, your mind is concerned about you leaving your stable income. As soon as you start to visualize yourself leaving, your mind starts making excuses for all the reasons you should stay. While you were tired of being overlooked for a promotion yesterday, you are now wondering if you really wanted the promotion in the first place. You contemplate if managing adults is really worth the trouble. You start to feel lucky you didn’t get promoted because you think the additional work will outweigh the additional pay. And what if you are not as ready to be promoted as you thought you were? Then you run the risk of your employment being terminated.


In just a few short minutes, you have created multiple excuses to keep things just the way they are. When you take accountability for the results in your life, the answer to each of these questions is the same.

While you may not know exactly what your future entails, you are comfortable knowing that you will rise to the challenge. Whatever that challenge may be, you know you are going to learn the skills necessary to succeed.

Final Thoughts

As simple as it sounds, you cannot allow yourself to believe that life is happening to you. You are in control of a great many parts of your life. You are the creator of the results in your life, and if you do not like the results, learning how to stop making excuses is the first step to changing them.

When you take responsibility for your life, an amazing thing will happen: you will start to think of ways to change it. You must have faith in your ability to find a path to succeed in the most difficult of situations.

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Featured photo credit: Gregory Hayes via


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Last Updated on September 16, 2020

10 Reasons Why You Should Love Yourself First

10 Reasons Why You Should Love Yourself First

Have you ever heard the expression, “You can’t help someone else until you help yourself”? The same idea applies to self-love. How can you love someone if you don’t love yourself first?

Try to visualize yourself with a ball of white light in your chest. It glows with pure love, especially when you are with family and friends.

When you want to express your affection to someone, you take a small piece of that light and hand it to that person. With every coffee you buy for a stranger, listen to a friend when they feel down, or lend them one of your favorite books, you are giving them a piece of your light. It is unlimited, so you need not do anything replenish it.

However, when you don’t love yourself, it depletes with every kindness and affection that you show to other people. This light eventually goes out, and you feel burnt out and exhausted. Once you become emotionally exhausted and unable to find the positive in anything, depression sinks in.

Here I’m sharing with you 10 reasons why you should love yourself first.

1. You Have To

Loving yourself first is essential if you want to be happy and live your life with no regrets.[1] You may have been holding back because you have been told you aren’t worth loving at some point. Thus, you’ve been bullying yourself about it ever since.

But that is the glass ceiling that this generation must break through immediately.


You deserve to be loved. You are a wonderful human. Life on this planet is short; do you really want to waste it with self-loathing?

Hate only leads to hate, misery, and war. Do you want to be at war with yourself forever? Or do you want to be at peace and create new and amazing things?

You have a whole life waiting for you on the other side of all that.

2. It Is Your Responsibility

By taking self-love out of your control and leaving it in the hands of others, you can only ever be disappointed. After all, it isn’t someone else’s job to do that.

Pressuring other people to do it for you is unfair. You need to love yourself, not your parents, spouse, or kids. It is time to take responsibility for that now.

3. It Isn’t Selfish

They say in every flight that you have to put your own life mask on before helping another person. It isn’t selfish to do that because you will die before you can help someone who can’t help themselves. It is impractical — not heroic — to make yourself suffer while trying to be there for others.

Similarly, you need to love yourself first so that you can help anyone you want. Put yourself first, say no to draining circumstances, and make choices in your best interest.


Although it sounds selfish, it is not bad at all.[2]

4. It Makes It Okay To Be Unloved By Others

When you love yourself, you live on another level, another vibe.

Some people won’t like that, and that is okay for you. It may be even good, considering you will see who cares for you, who is happy to see you happy, and who just wants you to be miserable.

When you prioritize yourself, you can see who matters and clear out all the toxic people in your life.

5. You Deserve It

All of your life, it may have been heavily implied that you aren’t supposed to love yourself.[3] You are supposed to help others first and only gain it as a result of your acts of service. As we have all experienced, love isn’t always equal.

Still, let us reiterate: you deserve to love yourself. You are a beautiful, caring, selfless human being, so why on earth would you deserve any less?

This article can nudge you further in the right direction: How to Love Yourself And Embrace Who You Really Are


6. Why Not?

Are you afraid of being perceived narcissistic and reducing your likeability? That might happen, but wouldn’t it be better if you were around people who loved you for loving yourself?

You create your reality, so it is possible. There are no downsides to loving yourself. Even if something seems wrong, your life will be better for it.

7. You Can Inspire Someone

By taking up the chance to love yourself first, you can inspire other people to make that same change. Most people are just waiting for a leader to step up, take the scary steps, and show that it is safe.

This new way of living is okay and acceptable without suffering from a social setback. Come forward and say, “Hey, I love myself! It’s scary, but it’s okay. If I’m honest, it’s nice not to rely on other people to know my self-worth.”

Watch how many people will turn around and say, “You inspired me. I started my journey to self-love, and I couldn’t be more excited.”

To love yourself, you just need to give yourself permission to try, so set a positive example to someone else and do it now. Who knows, it might change their life.

8. It Can Only Improve Your Life

The thing about self-love is that it can improve your mental state. You can only feel better, more confident, more secure, and happier when you are in a better space. Once that happens, you can create a better life for others.


Your life will be full of laughs. You will try new things because you won’t be afraid to fail and get out there and not care what people think of you. More importantly, you will live your life to the fullest and have the confidence and grit to go after your dreams. Here are more tips for you: 6 Ways to Show Yourself the Love You Truly Deserve

9. You Can Change the World

When you love yourself first, you can create real change.

You have that new confidence, bravery, and conviction to do it. You stop depending on someone else to give you all the emotional benefits that come with love.

As soon as you make that happen, greatness follows suit.

10. You Can Love Someone for Real

You can spend your life by giving love away, hoping to gain it in return, but life isn’t a business transaction. Some people just take, and you keep giving without realizing that it chips away at your own self-esteem and self-worth.

When you love yourself without expecting anything in return, you can love someone the way they deserve to be loved. After all, you have an endless source of it, and it can never deplete.

Bottom Line

If you want to replenish the ball of light in your chest and reconnect with an unlimited source of love, take a day off to do that. Find out who you are and be compassionate to yourself. Buy something nice, go to a spa, compliment yourself, and make other hard choices that are in your best interest. That’s the only way to reignite your light and love yourself.

I hope that you take a moment to feel that love inside you after reading this. Love is beautiful, and you deserve to feel it all. It doesn’t make you a wrong person to want that.

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