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How to Stop Being Angry

How to Stop Being Angry

    We all know people who get angry easily. The ones that lash out either verbally or physically and are seemingly out-of-control. What’s interesting is that most of the time, they regret acting the way they did. They wish they had more self-control but they just can’t help it. It seems impossible to change. They see their anger as a genetic flaw that they have to put up with along with the negative consequences that inevitably follow their expressions of anger.

    They are completely wrong.

    Anger is not a genetic flaw and they don’t have to put up with it. Anger can be managed — but not by just breathing deeply and saying “Woo-Sah”.

    The technique I’m about to introduce to you can be used anytime and anywhere. It can be used with people of all ages and the great thing is that it really works.

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    So how do you do it? How can you stop being angry (or teach someone else to stop being so angry)?

    Well, there are two ways:

    1. You can choose to vent your frustrations; or
    2. You can use my “soon-to-be proposed” method.

    Venting takes the energy out of your anger but the anger can always build up again. I’m going to show you how to stop being angry by looking at what your anger is telling you.

    The message your anger is sending is that one of your standards, values or important beliefs is being violated by you or someone else.

    Take a minute to think back to the last time you were angry. Explore the situation and what your anger is telling you. Which strong belief is being violated?

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    After you’ve figured out the belief that is being violated, now it is time to work some “magic” and diffuse your anger once and for all. It’s fast, simple, and effective.

    You just need to adopt one new belief:

    Your beliefs are yours only. Not anyone else’s.

    No one ever decided that your standards should be the ones that everyone follows. Your “map” is not the territory. It’s just your perception of the territory. When you take on this belief, your standards are no longer being violated because you’ve allowed other people to live by their own rules, not your rules. When your standards are not being violated, you have lost the reason to be angry.

    This has been one of the most powerful realizations in my life.

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    Let me tell you a true story…

    * * *

    One day I was driving along a highway in New York City when I was cut off by a young driver in a mid-size sedan. Automatically, I started to “create” a story that he was this rude and disrespectful person that should be taught a lesson. One that I am normally glad to teach. But instead of chasing him down and putting both our lives in danger, I remembered that being angry meant that one of my beliefs had been violated.

    I realized that the driver violated my standard that people should respect others especially when driving. Then I thought, what if he wasn’t disrespecting me. What if he was rushing home because his pregnant wife’s water just broke. Would I still be angry?

    No, I wouldn’t.

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    What’s interesting is that both of these scenarios are equally likely. There is really no way for me to confirm.

    So which belief will diffuse my anger?

    I hope his wife is alright,” I told myself and I continued the drive to my friend’s house.

    What methods do you use to control your anger? What do you find most effective? For those who try this method, let me know how it worked for you.

    (Photo credit: Stress and Anger via Shutterstock)

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    Robert Chen

    Executive Coach

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    Last Updated on August 12, 2019

    12 Best Foods That Improve Memory and Brain Health

    12 Best Foods That Improve Memory and Brain Health

    Nutrition plays a vital role in brain function and staying sharp into the golden years. Personally, my husband is going through medical school, which is like a daily mental marathon. Like any good wife, I am always looking for things that will boost his memory fortitude so he does his best in school.

    But you don’t have to be a med student to appreciate better brainiac brilliance. If you combine certain foods with good hydration, proper sleep and exercise, you may just rival Einstein and have a great memory in no time.

    I’m going to reveal the list of foods coming out of the kitchen that can improve your memory and make you smarter.

    Here are 12 best brain foods that improve memory and brain power:

    1. Nuts

    The American Journal of Epidemiology published a study linking higher intakes of vitamin E with the prevention on cognitive decline.[1]

    Nuts like walnuts and almonds (along with other great foods like avocados) are a great source of vitamin E.

    Cashews and sunflower seeds also contain an amino acid that reduces stress by boosting serotonin levels.

    Walnuts even resemble the brain, just in case you forget the correlation, and are a great source of omega 3 fatty acids, which also improve your mental magnitude.

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    2. Blueberries

    Shown in studies at Tuffs University to benefit both short-term memory and coordination, blueberries pack quite a punch in a tiny blue package.[2]

    When compared to other fruits and veggies, blueberries were found to have the highest amount of antioxidants (especially flavonoids), but strawberries, raspberries, and blackberries are also full of brain benefits.

    3. Tomatoes

    Tomatoes are packed full of the antioxidant lycopene, which has shown to help protect against free-radical damage most notably seen in dementia patients.

    4. Broccoli

    While all green veggies are important and rich in antioxidants and vitamin C, broccoli is a superfood even among these healthy choices.

    Since your brain uses so much fuel (it’s only 3% of your body weight but uses up to 17% of your energy), it is more vulnerable to free-radical damage and antioxidants help eliminate this threat.

    Broccoli is packed full of antioxidants, is well-known as a powerful cancer fighter and is also full of vitamin K, which is known to enhance cognitive function.

    5. Foods Rich in Essential Fatty Acids

    Your brain is the fattest organ (not counting the skin) in the human body, and is composed of 60% fat. That means that your brain needs essential fatty acids like DHA and EPA to repair and build up synapses associated with memory.

    The body does not naturally produce essential fatty acids so we must get them in our diet.

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    Eggs, flax, and oily fish like salmon, sardines, mackerel and herring are great natural sources of these powerful fatty acids. Eggs also contain choline, which is a necessary building block for the neurotransmitter acetylcholine, to help you recall information and concentrate.

    6. Soy

    Soy, along with many other whole foods mentioned here, are full of proteins that trigger neurotransmitters associated with memory.

    Soy protein isolate is a concentrated form of the protein that can be found in powder, liquid, or supplement form.

    Soy is valuable for improving memory and mental flexibility, so pour soy milk over your cereal and enjoy the benefits.

    7. Dark Chocolate

    When it comes to chocolate, the darker the better. Try to aim for at least 70% cocoa. This yummy desert is rich in flavanol antioxidants which increase blood flow to the brain and shield brain cells from aging.

    Take a look at this article if you want to know more benefits of dark chocolate: 15 Surprising and Science-Backed Health Effects of Dark Chocolate

    8. Foods Rich in Vitamins: B vitamins, Folic Acid, Iron

    Some great foods to obtain brain-boosting B vitamins, folic acid and iron are kale, chard, spinach and other dark leafy greens.

    B6, B12 and folic acid can reduce levels of homocysteine in the blood. Homocysteine increases are found in patients with cognitive impairment like Alzheimer’s, and high risk of stroke.

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    Studies showed when a group of elderly patients with mild cognitive impairment were given high doses of B6, B12, and folic acid, there was significant reduction in brain shrinkage compared to a similar placebo group.[3]

    Other sources of B vitamins are liver, eggs, soybeans, lentils and green beans. Iron also helps accelerate brain function by carrying oxygen. If your brain doesn’t get enough oxygen, it can slow down and people can experience difficulty concentrating, diminished intellect, and a shorter attention span.

    To get more iron in your diet, eat lean meats, beans, and iron-fortified cereals. Vitamin C helps in iron absorption, so don’t forget the fruits!

    9. Foods Rich in Zinc

    Zinc has constantly demonstrated its importance as a powerful nutrient in memory building and thinking. This mineral regulates communications between neurons and the hippocampus.

    Zinc is deposited within nerve cells, with the highest concentrations found in the hippocampus, the part of the brain responsible for higher learning function and memory.

    Some great sources of zinc are pumpkin seeds, liver, nuts, and peas.

    10. Gingko Biloba

    This herb has been utilized for centuries in eastern culture and is best known for its memory boosting brawn.

    It can increase blood flow in the brain by dilating vessels, increasing oxygen supply and removing free radicals.

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    However, don’t expect results overnight: this may take a few weeks to build up in your system before you see improvements.

    11. Green and Black Tea

    Studies have shown that both green and black tea prevent the breakdown of acetylcholine—a key chemical involved in memory and lacking in Alzheimer’s patients.

    Both teas appear to have the same affect on Alzheimer’s disease as many drugs utilized to combat the illness, but green tea wins out as its affects last a full week versus black tea which only lasts the day.

    Find out more about green tea here: 11 Health Benefits of Green Tea (+ How to Drink It for Maximum Benefits)

    12. Sage and Rosemary

    Both of these powerful herbs have been shown to increase memory and mental clarity, and alleviate mental fatigue in studies.

    Try to enjoy these savory herbs in your favorite dishes.

    When it comes to mental magnitude, eating smart can really make you smarter. Try to implement more of these readily available nutrients and see just how brainy you can be!

    More About Boosting Brain Power

    Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

    Reference

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