It is more difficult to give money away intelligently than to earn it in the first place. – Andrew Carnegie
The next time you want to send a text message from your smartphone donating $2 to disaster relief, think again. Unfortunately, not all of that money will go to helping the victims. In 2011, Americans donated $200 billion to about 1 million charity organizations. When picking a charity to send your donation to, you have to do your homework. Here is a quick guide to some secrets that charities might not always be willing to share.
1. Is it a registered charity?
Some charities operate without any paid employees, and so they do not have to be registered as a charity. The limit they declare is usually below $50,000 annually. But all the other charities who claim to be registered should be checked out by consulting the list at the Internal Revenue Service (IRS). This is important because of the tax deductions available. It will also ensure that you will not give to those charities who are flying under the government’s radar. In the UK, the Charity Commission is the government’s regulator on charities.Advertising
2. How much is spent on overhead
Each charity will have enormous overhead costs regarding staffing, running costs, and fundraising. Inevitably, a part of your donation will go towards these costs. A good rule of thumb is that 60-75% of donations should go to the actual cause and 25-40% towards administrative expenses. But some charities cut back on expenses, which leads to more waste. Check to see if this information is available on the charity’s website before making a donation.
3. Beware of phone calls
Some charities use companies who are for-profit fundraisers and they use telemarketing extensively. Because of the costs involved, it is unlikely that the charity will receive more than 10% of the amount you pledge.
4. Some charities pay enormous salaries to their CEOs
Major charities have to be run as businesses. But disturbing news often comes to light about how much they are spending on salaries and bonuses. Sometimes, funds raised actually go to the charity’s pension funds, rather than to the poor, sick and needy. This information is rarely revealed. Charities defend paying high salaries to executives because they are in demanding roles, and clever fundraising policies have to be thought out and implemented. The site Charity Navigator believes that salaries around the $1 million mark are unacceptable.Advertising
5. Think carefully about donating to short mission trips
These short mission trips to help build houses, schools and orphanages in third world countries seem to do more good for the volunteers, than the poor people. Think about these facts, before donating:
- Many trips cost as much as $30,000 to sponsor.
- Such large sums could actually be used locally to give employment to builders and workers in the country who desperately need money to buy food. Unemployment in these countries can be as high as 30%.
- Volunteers can send the wrong messages in that they know better, can do the work faster and they do not train the people there to deal with their problems in the long term.
Organizers of short term mission trips should focus more on the permanent impact, and how locals can be more actively involved after the volunteers have left. Ask if they are approaching the mission in this way before deciding whether to donate or not.
6. The good, the bad and the ugly about celebrity charities
When you think about Bob Geldof and Bono, who have supported enormously successful charities to fight world hunger and poverty, you can have nothing about admiration for them.Advertising
But some of these celebrity charities have made zero impact when auditors revealed that considerable funds were missing or unaccounted for. This was the case with Madonna. She was going to build a girls’ school in Malawi. Auditors revealed that almost $4 million went missing from the charity’s funds. Madonna is now contributing $11 million she has raised into Malawi-based organizations to help them build the schools that are needed.
Wyclef Jean, the hip hop icon, founded the Yéle Haiti Foundation after the disastrous earthquake in Haiti, which killed up to 300,000 people in 2010. He is now facing lawsuits about tax fraud and whether he gained financially from the charity he set up.
7. Beware of fundraisers in the mall
How many times have you been approached in the mall or on the street by a fast-talking and convincing fundraiser for a very worthy charity? This is a bit more sophisticated than the telephone calls you might receive at home. Here is what to look out for:Advertising
- They do not want a one-off donation.
- They want a monthly commitment which could work out to be $500 annually.
- They offer to fill out a form and all you have to do is sign.
- They are trained in using persuasion techniques by the companies who are raking it in.
- As some of the fundraisers (or “chuggers” as they are called in the UK) earn $13 an hour, you can imagine how much money actually gets into the charity’s coffers.
The whole concept of giving to charity should be based on a desire to help and not from being pressured in any way by a fast-talking fundraiser!
8. Do some detective work
Before deciding on donating to any charity, check out the following information. All of this should be easily available on the charity’s website. Failing that, there should be information leaflets available. This is what you should check:
- The annual report
- Names of directors and patrons
- Audited financial reports
- Specific projects and how the funds are used
- Statistics on completed projects
Charities are doing magnificent work. You just need to do some homework to make sure that they are managing their funds in the best possible way and that they are not using doubtful tactics. If you are unhappy about this, you can always volunteer to help local charities in your area.
Featured photo credit: Faces helped by charity: Water/Sacca via flickr.com
Last Updated on July 10, 2020
How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries
We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.
We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.
So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?
Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.
Table of Contents
What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)
Boundaries are limits
—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.
Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.
Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.
Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.
Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.
How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life
Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.
1. Self-Awareness Comes First
Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.
You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.
To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.
You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:
- Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
- When do you feel disrespected?
- When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
- In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
- When do you want to be alone?
- How much space do you need?
You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.
2. Clear Communication Is Essential
Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.
Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.
3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame
Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.
That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.
- “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
- “I need…to be treated with respect…”
- “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
- “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
- “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
- “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
- “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”
Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.
4. Consequences Are Often Necessary
Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.
Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.
Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.
We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”
It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.
It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.
Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.
Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.
Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.
The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.
Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.
Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.
They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.
More Articles to Help You Take Control of Your Life
- How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late
- Do You Have to Give Everything Up to Get a Fresh Start?
- How to Get out of a Funk and Take Control of Life
Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com