Advertising
Advertising

8 Reasons Why Children Should Not Use Handheld Devices Frequently

8 Reasons Why Children Should Not Use Handheld Devices Frequently

A pediatric occupational therapist, Cris Rowan, hit the headlines last summer when she made a plea for a total ban of handheld devices for all children under the age of twelve! You can imagine the reactions. It really got parents worked up. Of course, Rowan made some very valid points but the real solution is to allow kids to use these handheld devices, but not too often. As usual, the key is finding the right balance as there are all sorts of health and development issues. In this post I want to outline 8 reasons why children should not use these frequently. There is no need for a total ban, except for babies.

1. Children are not turning their brains on.

If you allow a kid to play with her phone, computer games or tablet all day long, what happens? The child will not get enough exercise. Physical exercise is not only good for building muscles but also essential for turning our brains on. This applies especially to children, as outlined by Dr. John Ratey of Harvard Medical School, in his famous book, Spark. The Naperville School District (IL) kids were able to score top grades in the TIMSS (Trends in International Mathematics and Science Study) tests because they were doing regular physical exercise. They came out at number one in science and sixth in math – worldwide! More physical exercise and less use of electronic devices will help to improve grades and also reduce behavior problems.

“What Naperville provides is a powerful case study on how aerobic activity can transform not only the body but also the mind. It also happens to be a wonderful template for reshaping our society.” – Dr. John Ratey

2. Children may be exposed to too much radiation.

The problem with using cell phones and also cordless phones too much is that the brain may be exposed to radiation and this has been linked to cancer. There are no conclusive studies on this but the American Cancer Society says it is advisable to limit cell phone use, especially among young children.

Advertising

The best solution is to encourage kids to make shorter phone calls and send more text messages. You could also take out a monthly subscription which will enable you to cut off your kid’s phone in the late evening and early morning. Set the example for your kids by encouraging them to take “tech time-out” especially at mealtimes. Everybody puts their phone in a designated place so that they actually get to talk to each other!

3. Children are not getting enough sleep.

When kids are allowed all their gadgets in the bedroom, this is a guarantee that the blue screen light is going to affect their sleep. There are loads of studies on this and one shows that the kids who have been playing on their tablets or phones just before sleeping, take longer to get off to sleep and do not sleep so well, either.

There is an easy solution to this in that parents can ban all devices from their kids’ bedrooms and make sure that they use their computer time in the common area before actually going to bed. Encourage the reading of bedtime stories and switching off TV one hour before bedtime.

4. Children will take ages to do homework.

Kids might consider multi-tasking cool when they have to do homework. Checking their Facebook account and emails are just part of the normal distracted process. But studies show that it takes four times longer to recognize each new activity, than if you were just concentrating on one task.

Advertising

Parents differ in their approaches. Some parents just ban the use of phones during homework and when teens protest that their friends are allowed to do so, they just say “our house, our rules.”

I favor the “interval training” approach. Here teens are asked to try half an hour of homework with no distractions at all from any device. After that, they are allowed to check Facebook and so on. But they quickly realize how much more efficient they are when they are not distracted. This may work better than having a total ban. We also have to keep in mind that tablets are really useful for some homework tasks and more and more students are using them efficiently. Maybe we just have to draw the line at social media and text messaging.

5. Toddlers’ brain development may be at risk.

Dr. Jenny Radesky works at the Developmental –Behavioral Pediatrics Department at the University of Boston. Her research has shown that allowing these toddlers of two or three years of age to play excessively with these gadgets will affect their cognitive development negatively. At this age they need to develop motor, visual and spatial skills which are essential for healthy development. Even more alarming is the practice of handing a device to a child who is having a tantrum! This is no substitute for learning how to interact and control strong emotions.

The best solution is probably to ban devices for these babies and toddlers. They do not need to update their status on Facebook just yet! Parents should ensure that they have plenty of normal kids’ toys and games which will help them to develop their manual dexterity. A touch screen cannot do that.

Advertising

6. Children may be at increased risk of mental illness.

Can it really be true that increased rates of child depression, attention disorders, bipolar disorder and other mental health issues are due to excessive use of handheld devices? Studies on this have revealed that this exaggerated use may indeed be a cause. Aggression and problematic child behavior are the usual manifestations that there may be a problem.

How about a screen-free day for everyone in the family to help reduce the risks? Another idea is to make sure that you can monitor your child’s use and set limits accordingly. Obviously you will be setting the example by being a role model and not listening to your child with one ear while the other is glued to your smartphone!

7. Children may become couch potatoes.

It does not take rocket science to understand that too much sedentary activity which is mostly watching TV, surfing, chatting and gaming will lead to obesity. There are countless studies on this one. First, TV ads are full of low nutrient and high calorie foods which are aimed at a young audience, as evidenced by the Institute of Medicine (IOM) report. A lot of these commercials are now shown on smartphones and tablets.

More time with these devices will lead to fewer physical activities and sports. This means that kids are just not getting enough exercise and also they are consuming far too many calories. Wrong food choices aggravate the problem.

Advertising

The best approach to take is to ensure that all the family are taking part in some physical activity whether it is just playing sports, jogging or walking the dog. It becomes a ritual and there should be set times for this. This helps to get the child weaned off those electronic devices. A total ban never makes sense as the kid will discover ways round that.

8. Children may suffer from eye strain.

It is now becoming more and more common for children to suffer from eye strain after staring at screens for hours and hours. This is sometimes known as computer vision syndrome. Watch out for dry, red and sore eyes. Sometimes, children may experience blurry vision and have problems with words moving on the screen because their eyes are not properly aligned. Eye fatigue, focus issues and even double vision are other problems as reported by the Singapore Health Xchange.

You can avoid eye problems setting in at an early age by making sure that sessions involving near screen work are limited to 30 minutes a time. Make sure that there are plenty of breaks and that outdoor activity is not neglected.

Who wants to raise a child who is attached to a screen? At the other extreme, we do not want our kids to miss out on connecting with our fascinating world. They can chat to grandparents on Skype, play games, learn facts, read and socialize. We just have to make sure that they get the balance right.

Featured photo credit: Kids with Education Tablet Computers/ Inter Free Press via flickr.com

More by this author

Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

15 Signs Of Negative People 10 Reasons Why People Are Unmotivated (And Ways to Be Motivated) 10 Scientifically Proven Ways To Stay Happy All The Time Science Says Knitting Makes Humans Warmer And Happier, Mentally What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

Trending in Family

1 If You Think You’re in an Unhappy Marriage, Remember These 5 Things 2 What Happened to Family Dinners? Why We Should Bring Them Back 3 How to Cope with Empty Nest Syndrome and Stop Feeling Lonely 4 How Not to Let Work Take Priority over Spending Time With Family 5 35 Life Hacks for Kids That Make Parenting Easier And More Fun

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on February 18, 2019

13 Tips to Face Your Fears, Grow with It and Enjoy the Ride

13 Tips to Face Your Fears, Grow with It and Enjoy the Ride

Fear. I spend my life talking about fear — fighting fears, fixing fears and understanding fears. And yet I doubt I get 10 calls a year from people saying “Mandie can you help me fix my fear?”

Why is this so critically important to you?

The realization for me is that fear is not the fundamental driving force in your life it’s what regardless of whether I’m talking to a doctor, a teacher, a CEO’s, a senior citizens or teenager – every single one of those conversations has a direct correlation with your world.

Fear can range from the overwhelming desire to look away or stop in your tracks to literally fleeing your country and the life you knew. In this article, I will share you with 13 tips to face your fears and enjoy the ride.

1. Know That Fear Is Real, but Can Be Overcome

Right now around the world people are facing fear — real fear. Fear that I pray my children and I will never experience. Does that lessen my fears or your fears in your relativity safe 21st century life?

When I look at the world we all live in, I find that fear like so many other emotions can mean so many different things to so many different people:

  • The child who has to be physically dragged to their first day of school.
  • The man facing the judge.
  • The woman with her hand poised over the buttons over her phone because she has to walk down a dark corridor late at night alone.
  • The man as the surgeon says “count backwards from 10 Mr Smith.”
  • The woman that’s told “We are sorry, we can’t help you.”
  • The man that faces the empty circle of a gun and prays for his very existence.

These and a million more (Portrayed in every kind of movie, book or song you could imagine) are what make us human. We face fear and somehow move forward or are stopped in our tracks.

Like the rabbit in the headlights of the car that veers off through the field away from the tyres of the car or stays still praying for salvation. Like someone will save them. Sound familiar?

Fear is huge. Fear is everywhere and yet fear can be overcome, controlled and can even be a power for good.

2. Accept Your Fear

Firstly if you aren’t facing the barrel of the gun, atrocities that make the news or impeding death, that’s a good start. However it doesn’t mean your fear is any less real.

We are quick to say “I can’t moan, my life is not as bad as X.” While in theory, that’s honorable your appreciation of Mr. or Mrs. X’s horrific life won’t change anything directly. So accept your fear is relative to you.

And here’s what can be done.

Advertising

3. Get Some Perspective

I found myself asking anyone that would answer “what is your worst fear”. The answer that intrigued me the most came from my daughter (15 years old and she usually has a copy of Fight the Fear – my book – in her school bag so she can help someone else be as positive and confident as her. No matter what life throws up.)

And her fear, surprised me — heights. I pointed out that we live in a sprawling bungalow (one storey) and the highest she goes is two storeys’ at school! She laughed but added, fear isn’t like that Mum. I know it’s not a real fear, but it’s like when you stand on a chair and feel unsafe.

That girl will go far. Because she truly gets fear.

We know something is scary and yet we still do it. Why? Because we have a perspective to the fear. When you lose perspective, it can feel too big, and too scary.

So look around you to get some perspective on your fear:

  • Are you really at risk?
  • Will this kill you?
  • Which leads us on to..
  • If the worse was to happen what would it be?

4. Hold a Hand

As a coach, it is my job to holds someone’s metaphorical hand and help them face a fear.

Like the child petrified of the thunder storm or the teen that can’t get back in a car again after failing their test, your job as a parent is to reassure, encourage, enable and motivate someone to face something that ideally they never would choose to again.

We know many of our fears aren’t real. However, it is only when someone guides us with love, respect, lack of judgement and safety are we able to get through fear. And trust me, you can get through your fears. I’ve seen it so many times.

Ask yourself:

  • If the worse were to happen, what would that be?
  • Could that really happen?
  • If the worse did happen, how would you recover?
  • If the worse were to happen, what would you need to do next?

By seeing fear as not the end destination but part of being human, you can see through it’s wily evil ways and move forward.

5. Know Whose Hand You Hold Either Physically or Emotionally

This helps with fears for the rest of your life.

Think of someone you can always rely on (and ideally you won’t just answer yourself because that adds a lot of pressure to your existence!) And you will find that you’ve already found a way to get through fear.

Advertising

The beauty of this is that it means that fear becomes part of life not something to be feared and shied away from.

It means you know you can turn to your friend, partner, colleague, parent, sibling and say “Right I need to deal with this, and I’m going to need you to help me.”

For one moment, think about it from the other person’s view point. When we get to help other people we feel valued, loved, respected and lots of other positive emotions and we get a good dose of positive chemicals setting off in our bodies too.

Your fear, and your determination to fight it, helped someone else too. Now that’s cool right?

6. Understand That There Are Some Things Fear Will Never Touch

I like to find role models in life — people who have faced heroism, history changing moments, war, atrocities, miracles, life saving inventions.

Not everyone was looking for greatness, however they all found it. And one of my favourite books to date is written about Alistair Urquhart, the forgotten highlander. If this doesn’t get turned into a film in the future, then no man’s story is likely to.

Alistair went through the most horrific experiences in the 2nd world war. If you think of one of the awful things that happened back then in our world, Alistair went through at least 3 of them! Asked afterwards how did you cope? He talked about how whatever they did to his body, no matter how they starved, tortured, threatened or mocked him, they couldn’t have his mind. In his mind he was free.

Of all the people’s voices I’ve heard in my head over the years, this is one of those statements that reminds me anything is possible if you have faith and hope.

Look for the things in life that fear can’t touch. They will create confidence and faith for the future, whatever you face. And they will give you a sense of why being you is awesome.

Of all the billions of people on this planet, no one will have an answer identical to yours!

7. Process Your Fears to Carry on with Life

Being brave is not about sticking your chest out and smiling regardless of what hell you endure. It is about finding a way to emotionally process your fears to be able to keep going.

I have a tool kit of things I can rely on – tools, strategies, techniques. They include people to hug or talk to, music. hobbies, walks on the beach and even my favourite food. It sounds mad but at the times where I have questioned “how will I get through this?” I’ve found immense joy in doing the most unlikely of thing that makes me smile.

Advertising

It may be a short lived moment of happiness. However, it reminded that nothing stays the same and I can find away.

One client told me that it was crazy when it felt like their world was falling around their ears to run a bath to the brim (you don’t waste water) get the best bath oils, light too many candles, lock the door and drink a glass of bubbly (champagne is only for special occasions.)

Did that moment fix the disaster that my clients life felt? No, however it gave them a moment of calm and the brain is far quicker to find solutions, resolve and motivation to keep going when you do that.

It may feel like madness to do something you love, however it can be a powerful way to help you find solutions to the fears you face in life.

8. Assume the Worse

If you read the statement from the client above. Notice how they assumed it was wrong to fill the bath up to the top? How bubbly is only for special occasions?

Think how naughty they felt to be doing something that was not allowed?

  • Think about what age it may have made them feel?
  • Think about how they feel about champagne?
  • What special moments it’s been a part of in their lives?

And you can see how the assumptions they made about their “right” to have these things was not healthy.

When I drag the assumptions out of people’s words for them to see, they are often struck by how negative the words make them feel.

Don’t assume your words aren’t impacting on you. You can go through fear and actually enjoy the ride when you take the time to understand how you are letting words get to you.

9. Take a Fear That Feels Insurmountable Right Now.

If you were to repeat it to me out loud, what would you say?

Would you have blame on yourself in there? Would you assume others can do it and it’s just you? Would you feel small, unsuccessful, useless, unworthy?

Usually, when you do this exercise, you are able to spot the untruths that run wild in your head convincing you that you are doomed. And rarely when we are faced with our assumptions is there is a lot of evidence to them.

Advertising

10. You Are Not Defined by Your Fear

One fear does not define your life – be mindful of that. It is likely to lead you to thinking of all the times you’ve succeeded and bring a moment of calm, confidence and faith back to you.

11. Go with Fear

When you learn to go with fear, you could find yourself actually having fun, no seriously – having fun.

I have a few amazing clients I’m working with right now who would describe themselves as life long worriers, or pessimists. In the past that has served them well, enabling them to keep safe, steer clear of risks and even develop strategies in the event of disasters. However, now they find it’s becoming hard to break the cycle and they really want to because it’s holding them back.

Notice how they’ve found their hidden fears and want to face them?

One client said “I knew this was going to be tough, and I knew I couldn’t fight it alone and I knew you would be the one to help me.” Before I sat an incredibly successful, confident, capable business owner with a family and a social life to die for.

However, I’ve learned that the most successful looking lives can hide things that impact on life, success, love, happiness and business.

We didn’t start with the fear that they felt was holding them back, we broke the fear down, and found lots of little obstacles that had been deemed as “life” and “unchangeable” and “that’s just the way it is” by developing awareness to the little steps on the road to their obstacles to happiness and success they were able to tackle them in a different way.

12. Discover Great Skills in Your Scary Moments

And in that clients words “I came here to work with you to grow my company, and my own personal skills. I didn’t expect to get the children to be cleaning up after themselves and my partner being more attentive! It all feels a little magic.”

The moral is that out of the scariest of moments, we can find great skills we didn’t know we had. Find better, healthier, happier ways to live and find ways to enjoy life more. (And have a bit of magic!)

What a great place to be in ready for the next fear that thinks it’s going to get in the way of you, right?

13. Own Your Fear

Think back over these tips and come up with at least one example for each one. Write them down. Put them on your phone. Turn them into a piece of art. Turn them into a poem. Frame them. Go for a fast walk across the fields, beach, down town and repeat these things in your head to the sound of your feet on the ground.

We rarely take the time to appreciate how far we have come, how much we can achieve or what we are capable of – by really owning the tips in this article you will have given your brain a big fat dose of “Damn right I can do this!” and the motivation and accountability to say “Let’s find a way” through any fear.

You can’t help but feel good when you see that can you? And fear doesn’t stand a chance, does it?

More Resources About Fighting Fear

Featured photo credit: Ben White via unsplash.com

Read Next