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7 Ways You Can Be Helpful Today

7 Ways You Can Be Helpful Today

There are two kinds of people in this world.

There are those who will only do exactly what’s expected of them, and wait for a task to be assigned before acting. And then there are those who are always on the lookout for ways to contribute and make life easier for others. It is this second group that is more likely to make and sustain positive relationships, which are the backbone of a fulfilling personal and professional life.

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Whether the person in front of you has just lost a loved one or is just having a tension-filled week, certain approaches will be more genuinely helpful than others. Some ideas:

1. Listen to the Person Talk

Sometimes, the help that is actually needed will be different than the help you initially think to provide.  The best way to determine what to offer is to be a good listener.  The more the other person talks to you about what’s going on, the more targeted your assistance will be.

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2. Suggest Something Specific

People who are under a lot of stress are not always thinking clearly.  So when you ask them “how can I help?” they might not know what to tell you.  And if you say “if you need anything, feel free to ask,” chances are good they will not call you because they don’t want to impose.  Therefore, it’s better to make a recommendation such as taking their place at an administrative meeting or picking their child up from school.

3. Help Them See the Positive Side

When someone suffers a setback at work, the tendency is to believe that their career is over and that they will never feel good about their job again.  In a case like this, it can be useful to point out the good that might result from such a development, like the chance to explore a new opportunity or learn an important skill.  Note that the “pep talk” tactic is not appropriate if someone has suffered a human loss (i.e. death, divorce).

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4. Don’t Keep Score

Practice giving freely of yourself without expecting anything in return.  And definitely do not keep track of what you’ve done for others in comparison to what they’ve done for you.  Even if you keep the information to yourself, you won’t feel as good about the interaction, and this will probably show.

5. Be Sincere In Your Giving

If you really don’t want to do something, don’t offer.  It is obvious to the other person when you are helping them under duress, and adding guilt and discomfort to their plate is the last thing they need.  Giving sincerely also means doing so kindly and without strings or ulterior motives.

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6. Don’t Be More Trouble Than You’re Worth

Once you agree to a task, do it promptly, accurately, and without having to be reminded.  A stressed-out person would rather do it themselves than constantly worry about whether or not you are going to come through.

7. Reach Out to a Stranger

When my daughter was born prematurely last year, several people I’d never met before brought dinner to our house.  I will never forget it.  Helping co-workers, friends and family members in times of need is always appreciated, but it’s especially meaningful to provide assistance to those outside your circle.

(Photo credit: Lifebuoy via Shutterstock)

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Last Updated on June 13, 2019

5 Fixes For Common Sleep Issues All Couples Deal With

5 Fixes For Common Sleep Issues All Couples Deal With

Sleeping next to your partner can be a satisfying experience and is typically seen as the mark of a stable, healthy home life. However, many more people struggle to share a bed with their partner than typically let on. Sleeping beside someone can decrease your sleep quality which negatively affects your life. Maybe you are light sleepers and you wake each other up throughout the night. Maybe one has a loud snoring habit that’s keeping the other awake. Maybe one is always crawling into bed in the early hours of the morning while the other likes to go to bed at 10 p.m.

You don’t have to feel ashamed of finding it difficult to sleep with your partner and you also don’t have to give up entirely on it. Common problems can be addressed with simple solutions such as an additional pillow. Here are five fixes for common sleep issues that couples deal with.

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1. Use a bigger mattress to sleep through movement

It can be difficult to sleep through your partner’s tossing and turning all night, particularly if they have to get in and out of bed. Waking up multiple times in one night can leave you frustrated and exhausted. The solution may be a switch to a bigger mattress or a mattress that minimizes movement.

Look for a mattress that allows enough space so that your partner can move around without impacting you or consider a mattress made for two sleepers like the Sleep Number bed.[1] This bed allows each person to choose their own firmness level. It also minimizes any disturbances their partner might feel. A foam mattress like the kind featured in advertisements where someone jumps on a bed with an unspilled glass of wine will help minimize the impact of your partner’s movements.[2]

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2. Communicate about scheduling conflicts

If one of you is a night owl and the other an early riser, bedtime can become a source of conflict. It’s hard for a light sleeper to be jostled by their partner coming to bed four hours after them. Talk to your partner about negotiating some compromises. If you’re finding it difficult to agree on a bedtime, negotiate with your partner. Don’t come to bed before or after a certain time, giving the early bird a chance to fully fall asleep before the other comes in. Consider giving the night owl an eye mask to allow them to stay in bed while their partner gets up to start the day.

3. Don’t bring your technology to bed

If one partner likes bringing devices to bed and the other partner doesn’t, there’s very little compromise to be found. Science is pretty unanimous on the fact that screens can cause harm to a healthy sleeper. Both partners should agree on a time to keep technology out of the bedroom or turn screens off. This will prevent both partners from having their sleep interrupted and can help you power down after a long day.

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4. White noise and changing positions can silence snoring

A snoring partner can be one of the most difficult things to sleep through. Snoring tends to be position-specific so many doctors recommend switching positions to stop the snoring. Rather than sleeping on your back doctors recommend turning onto your side. Changing positions can cut down on noise and breathing difficulties for any snorer. Using a white noise fan, or sound machine can also help soften the impact of loud snoring and keep both partners undisturbed.

5. Use two blankets if one’s a blanket hog

If you’ve got a blanket hog in your bed don’t fight it, get another blanket. This solution fixes any issues between two partners and their comforter. There’s no rule that you have to sleep under the same blanket. Separate covers can also cut down on tossing and turning making it a multi-useful adaptation.

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Rather than giving up entirely on sharing a bed with your partner, try one of these techniques to improve your sleeping habits. Sleeping in separate beds can be a normal part of a healthy home life, but compromise can go a long way toward creating harmony in a shared bed.

Featured photo credit: Becca Tapert via unsplash.com

Reference

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