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15 Things No One Will Tell You About Motherhood, So I Will

15 Things No One Will Tell You About Motherhood, So I Will

My son, Coby, was born nine months ago and I thought before he was born, I was going to become a lady-of-leisure. I was in for a big shock. I guess before your baby is born you are just focusing on being pregnant and preparing for the birth; that seems as much as you can handle. Needless to say, my idea of us sitting, watching films together, snuggled up on the sofa didn’t quite work out. However, in my defense, I think many people underestimate how much work it is when you become a parent for the first time. Even when you try and explain to many people, they still think you are on some kind of extended vacation. So, what unexpected things about motherhood might you find?

1. You will have absolutely no time to yourself.

As soon as your baby wakes up in the morning, your working day starts, and it finishes when he goes to sleep at night. Even if he naps during the day, you will have baby-oriented tasks to do, such as sterilizing milk bottles and pacifiers and washing their clothes. Expect the washing machine to be on almost daily as the baby vomits and poos their way through many sets of clothes. You will spend the day thinking about baby sensory classes you can attend or local playgroups.

2. You will be extremely exhausted.

During the first year of your baby’s life you can expect to be extremely exhausted daily. For the first few months of their life, they don’t have any concept of day and night, so they might get up to play for hours in the night, and you can expect to be woken up in the night for the first six months when they get hungry. At around six months, they can start to sleep during the night, but then they start teething and tend to wake up during the night again. This interrupted sleep plays havoc with your energy levels.

3. Breastfeeding is tough.

When you attend parenting classes, you think that breastfeeding is going to be so easy. In reality it can take up to six weeks to learn how to breastfeed your baby. If you are finding it impossible to breastfeed, you can express milk for your baby. That is very easy to do and ensures he is getting the best milk possible.

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    4. You have to manage their sleeping pattern.

    My son struggled to sleep for the first six months during the day. I just thought he didn’t need to sleep; that was just him. However, after some experimenting I found out what he needed to feel comfortable sleeping during the day. Now most days, he sleeps at specific times during the day. For him, he doesn’t sleep in his stroller for more than twenty minutes, so he needs to be at home in his cradle in order to sleep for extended periods of time. He also needs a dream feed first and to be in his sleeping bag. If any of these factors are messed up, you can forget any daytime napping.

    5. All babies are different.

    What works for one baby doesn’t work for another baby, so you need to find out by trial and error what works best for your baby. For example, my son sleeps best in his cradle during the day whereas a friend’s baby only sleeps in her stroller.

    6. You constantly worry.

    Maybe it is your hormones, but you imagine the worst situations and worry your baby is going to be affected by them. You feel extremely protective of this little bundle you have been looking after for some time as they are completely dependent on you for everything.

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    7. Your priorities completely change.

    You might be surprised how much your priorities change once your little one arrives. If you are planning to go back to work quickly after your baby is born, you might change your mind as you realize that there is more to life than your next pay check.

    8. You can’t imagine life before they existed.

    Becoming a parent completely changes your entire life as you become focused on their needs rather than your own. Once this is your new reality, it is hard to remember your old life.

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      9. The relationship with your partner has to change.

      Once your baby is born you have to share responsibility for looking after this other person in an equal way. If you are at home with baby all day, your partner has some responsibility to share the load when he or she is not at work. Then the split should be 50:50. You have to work at establishing who does what so you are getting enough support. Most new mums struggle with this to some degree.

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      10. You gain a new appreciation for other parents and their babies.

      Before your baby is born you probably didn’t notice babies as much as you now do, and maybe you felt irritated by babies who cried on the bus. Now when a baby cries on the bus, you think it is so cute. You find yourself having a conversation with a stranger on the bus about your baby’s sleeping patterns. Other mums are a great source of inspiration and advice.

      11. You get secretly competitive.

      Even if you are a completely non-competitive person you still try and work out how your baby is doing in comparison to other babies of the same age. And you try and avoid the new mums who are very competitive and want to prove their babies are superior to yours.

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        12. You will be the most unfit you have ever been.

        Following the birth of your baby, your body feels like it is most unfit it has ever been. Your muscles are stretched so far during pregnancy and you generally put on extra weight for breastfeeding. It is quite scary how different your body feels. However, you need to be patient and persevere. Realistically it can take time to get your body back to its pre-pregnancy shape, but that’s okay.

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        13. You are not in control of everything.

        You read all the books about becoming a new parent and think it is possible to schedule and plan everything around your new baby. However, you cannot even control when your baby sleeps and what they eat. You can try to influence them but you cannot control it.

        14. It can be isolating.

        If you are used to working in a social environment, it can be hard to be at home looking after your baby alone. This makes it important to get out every single day, even if you go out for a quick walk round the park.

        15. You love your baby more than you knew was possible, and this makes everything worth it!

        This one speaks for itself.

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        Last Updated on March 25, 2020

        How to Live Longer? 21 Ways to Live a Long Life

        How to Live Longer? 21 Ways to Live a Long Life

        When it comes to living long, genes aren’t everything. Research has revealed a number of simple lifestyle changes you can make that could help to extend your life, and some of them may surprise you.

        So, how to live longer? Here are 21 ways to help you live a long life

        1. Exercise

        It’s no secret that physical activity is good for you. Exercise helps you maintain a healthy body weight and lowers your blood pressure, both of which contribute to heart health and a reduced risk of heart disease–the top worldwide cause of death.

        2. Drink in Moderation

        I know you’re probably picturing a glass of red wine right now, but recent research suggests that indulging in one to three glasses of any type of alcohol every day may help to increase longevity.[1] Studies have found that heavy drinkers as well as abstainers seem to have a higher risk of early mortality than moderate drinkers.

        3. Reduce Stress in Your Life

        Stress causes your body to release a hormone called cortisol. At high levels, this hormone can increase blood pressure and cause storage of abdominal fat, both of which can lead to an increased risk of heart disease.

        4. Watch Less Television

        A 2008 study found that people who watch six hours of television per day will likely die an average of 4.8 years earlier than those who don’t.[2] It also found that, after the age of 25, every hour of television watched decreases life expectancy by 22 minutes.

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        Television promotes inactivity and disengagement from the world, both of which can shorten your lifespan.

        5. Eat Less Red Meat

        Red meat consumption is linked to an increased risk of heart disease and cancer.[3] Swapping out your steaks for healthy proteins, like fish, may help to increase longevity.

        If you can’t stand the idea of a steak-free life, reducing your consumption to less than two to three servings a week can still incur health benefits.

        6. Don’t Smoke

        This isn’t exactly a revelation. As you probably well know, smoking significantly increases your risk of cancer.

        7. Socialize

        Studies suggest that having social relationships promotes longevity.[4] Although scientists are unsure of the reasons behind this, they speculate that socializing leads to increased self esteem as well as peer pressure to maintain health.

        8. Eat Foods Rich in Omega-3 Fatty Acids

        Omega-3 fatty acids decrease the risk of heart disease[5] and perhaps even Alzheimer’s disease.[6] Salmon and walnuts are two of the best sources of Omega-3s.

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        9. Be Optimistic

        Studies suggest that optimists are at a lower risk for heart disease and, generally, live longer than pessimists.[7] Researchers speculate that optimists have a healthier approach to life in general–exercising more, socializing, and actively seeking out medical advice. Thus, their risk of early mortality is lower.

        10. Own a Pet

        Having a furry-friend leads to decreased stress, increased immunity, and a lessened risk of heart disease.[8] Depending on the type of pet, they can also motivate you to be more active.

        11. Drink Coffee

        Studies have found a link between coffee consumption and longer life.[9] Although the reasons for this aren’t entirely clear, coffee’s high levels of antioxidants may play a role. Remember, though, drowning your cup of joe in sugar and whipped cream could counter whatever health benefits it may hold.

        12. Eat Less

        Japan has the longest average lifespan in the world, and the longest lived of the Japanese–the natives of the Ryukyu Islands–stop eating when they’re 80% full. Limiting your calorie intake means lower overall stress on the body.

        13. Meditate

        Meditation leads to stress reduction and lowered blood pressure.[10] Research suggests that it could also increase the activity of an enzyme associated with longevity.[11]

        Taking as little as 15 minutes a day to find your zen can have significant health benefits, and may even extend your life.

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        How to meditate? Here’re 8 Meditation Techniques for Complete Beginners

        14. Maintain a Healthy Weight

        Being overweight puts stress on your cardiovascular system, increasing your risk of heart disease.[12] It may also increase the risk of cancer.[13] Maintaining a healthy weight is important for heart health and living a long and healthy life.

        15. Laugh Often

        Laughter reduces the levels of stress hormones, like cortisol, in your body. High levels of these hormones can weaken your immune system.

        16. Don’t Spend Too Much Time in the Sun

        Too much time in the sun can lead to an increased risk of skin cancer. However, sun exposure is an excellent way to increase levels of vitamin D, so soaking up a few rays–perhaps for around 15 minutes a day–can be healthy. The key is moderation.

        17. Cook Your Own Food

        When you eat at restaurants, you surrender control over your diet. Even salads tend to have a large number of additives, from sugar to saturated fats. Eating at home will enable you to monitor your food intake and ensure a healthy diet.

        Take a look at these 14 Healthy Easy Recipes for People on the Go and start to cook your own food.

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        18. Eat Mushrooms

        Mushrooms are a central ingredient in Dr. Joel Fuhrman’s GOMBS disease fighting diet. They boost the immune system and may even reduce the risk of cancer.[14]

        19. Floss

        Flossing helps to stave off gum disease, which is linked to an increased risk of cancer.[15]

        20. Eat Foods Rich in Antioxidants

        Antioxidants fight against the harmful effects of free-radicals, toxins which can cause cell damage and an increased risk of disease when they accumulate in the body. Berries, green tea and broccoli are three excellent sources of antioxidants.

        Find out more antiosidants-rich foods here: 13 Delicious Antioxidant Foods That Are Great for Your Health

        21. Have Sex

        Getting down and dirty two to three times a week can have significant health benefits. Sex burns calories, decreases stress, improves sleep, and may even protect against heart disease.[16] It’s an easy and effective way to get exercise–so love long and prosper!

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        Featured photo credit: Sweethearts/Patrick via flickr.com

        Reference

        [1] Wiley Online Library: Late‐Life Alcohol Consumption and 20‐Year Mortality
        [2] BMJ Journals: Television viewing time and reduced life expectancy: a life table analysis
        [3] Arch Intern Med.: Red Meat Consumption and Mortality
        [4] PLOS Medicine: Social Relationships and Mortality Risk: A Meta-analytic Review
        [5] JAMA: Fish and Omega-3 Fatty Acid Intake and Risk of Coronary Heart Disease in Women
        [6] NCBI: Effects of Omega‐3 Fatty Acids on Cognitive Function with Aging, Dementia, and Neurological Diseases: Summary
        [7] Mayo Clinic Proc: Prediction of all-cause mortality by the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory Optimism-Pessimism Scale scores: study of a college sample during a 40-year follow-up period.
        [8] Med Hypotheses.: Pet ownership protects against the risks and consequences of coronary heart disease.
        [9] The New England Journal of Medicine: Association of Coffee Drinking with Total and Cause-Specific Mortality
        [10] American Journal of Hypertension: Blood Pressure Response to Transcendental Meditation: A Meta-analysis
        [11] Science Direct: Intensive meditation training, immune cell telomerase activity, and psychological mediators
        [12] JAMA: The Disease Burden Associated With Overweight and Obesity
        [13] JAMA: The Disease Burden Associated With Overweight and Obesity
        [14] African Journal of Biotechnology: Anti-cancer effect of polysaccharides isolated from higher basidiomycetes mushrooms
        [15] Science Direct: Periodontal disease, tooth loss, and cancer risk in male health professionals: a prospective cohort study
        [16] AHA Journals: Sexual Activity and Cardiovascular Disease

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