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14 Female Celebrities that Bash Hollywood’s Ideal Body Image

14 Female Celebrities that Bash Hollywood’s Ideal Body Image

Being a role model doesn’t mean looking like a model — and these actresses, singers, and comedians know it. They’re working to break down our norms of how women should look, with honest talk about being healthy, finding true happiness, and the mind-boggling amount of work (and makeup artists, and personal trainers, and Photoshop) that goes into creating the Hollywood version of female beauty. Check out some of our favorite body image quotes from 14 amazing women.

1. Jennifer Lawrence

jennifer lawrence body image quote

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                      by  Gage Skidmore

                    “Why is humiliating people funny? I get it, I do it too. We all do it. … But I think when it comes to the media, the media needs to take responsibility for the effect that it has on our younger generation, on these girls that are watching these television shows and picking up how to talk and how to be cool. … So then all of a sudden being funny is making fun of the girl that’s wearing an ugly dress.
                    And the word fat! I just think it should be illegal to call somebody fat on TV. I mean, if we’re regulating cigarettes and sex and cuss words because of the effect it has on our younger generation, why aren’t we regulating things like calling people fat?”

                    As she showed in the Barbara Walters interview quoted above, Jennifer Lawrence is the opposite of a celeb you love to hate — if anything, she’s the star everybody loves to love. Yet another reason to love her is her regular insistence that Hollywood be held accountable for the kinds of messages it conveys about size, beauty, and femininity. She famously refused to lose weight for The Hunger Games, instead focusing on working out and getting strong — and she caught flack for it from critics (yes, female as well as male). The New York Times wrote that Lawrence’s “womanly figure makes a bad fit for a dystopian fantasy about a people starved into submission.” What does J-Law have to say to that? She told Elle, “I’m never going to starve myself for a part … I don’t want little girls to be like, ‘Oh, I want to look like Katniss, so I’m going to skip dinner.'” For a star who’s beloved for her ability to laugh at herself, she takes her position as a potential role model seriously — all the more reason to love her.

                    2. Adele

                    adele body image quote

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                                    by  nikotransmission

                                  “I love food and hate exercise. I don’t have time to work out… I don’t want to be on the cover of Playboy or Vogue. I want to be on the cover of Rolling Stone or Q. I’m not a trendsetter, I’m a singer. I’d rather weigh a ton and make an amazing album… my aim in life is never to be skinny.”

                                  Adele doesn’t pull punches when it comes to taking down exes in her music, and she doesn’t have time for body critics either. As it turns out, her success has landed her the covers of Rolling Stone and British music mag Q… as well as Vogue, Elle, and Cosmopolitan. Adele’s uncompromising attitude and belief in her talents has definitely worked out for her.

                                  3. Amber Riley

                                  amber riley body image quote

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                                                      by  Gage Skidmore

                                                    “Hollywood is a very hard place to be in. It really is. Being the person that I am, you know, being the size that I am, being a woman, being a black woman, there’s not a lot of roles for us. … I was being offered the girl who sits in the corner and, you know, eats all day, the girl who wanted to commit suicide ’cause she was fat. It was never anything that I felt had a good ending. I never wanted to play a character that hated herself. I wanted people to know that those aren’t the only kind of roles for women like me, normal girls. Going to the auditions, and hearing the casting director say ‘you need to lose a little weight,’ I didn’t understand why people couldn’t accept me for who I was. … I’m not gonna conform and hurt myself and do something crazy to be a size 2.”

                                                    She’s known for playing the uber-confident Mercedes on Glee, but before landing that role Amber Riley had given up on Hollywood and decided, with the support of her parents, to go back to being a regular high school student. Luckily for us, she eventually decided to try again and found a role that let her shine without having to compromise.

                                                    4. Kate Winslet

                                                    kate winslet body image quote

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                                                                        by  GabboT

                                                                      “I resent that there is an image of perfection that is getting thinner and thinner. I hope that in some small way I’m able to say, ‘I’m a normal person; I’m doing all right. I’ve got a lovely husband and children, and I didn’t lose weight to find those things, and those things are what should be important.’

                                                                      This Brit has always been open about her struggles with body image and comparing herself to other Hollywood actresses. Her words are not only important criticisms of the standards set out for female celebs; Winslet also wants to be sure she’s sending the right message to her own daughter. “As a child, I never heard one woman say to me, ‘I love my body.’ … So I make sure to say it to Mia, because a positive physical outlook has to start at an early age.”

                                                                      5. Kelly Clarkson

                                                                      kelly clarkson body image quote

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                                                                                          by  SportsAngle.com

                                                                                        “[E]veryone in the magazines is Photoshopped! Beyoncé is one of the most beautiful girls in the world but she gets Photoshopped too. We’re all human! … It affected me when people were saying about me and some other artists that we were the ‘thicker’ ones. I’d be a liar if I said I was always fine with it. But I’m wise enough by now to know that you’re never going to please everyone so you may as well stop trying.”

                                                                                        Clarkson has come a long way since winning American Idol more than a decade ago, and throughout her career she’s faced intense scrutiny for her weight fluctuations (including a scandal when Self Photoshopped the singer to appear extra skinny on the cover of their “Body Confidence” issue). No matter what her size though, Clarkson has always been vocal about calling out Hollywood’s unrealistic standards and the importance of loving yourself.

                                                                                        6. Gabourey Sibide

                                                                                        gabourey sibide body image quote

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                                                                                                        by  greginhollywood

                                                                                                      “‘Gabourey, how are you so confident?’ It’s not easy. It’s hard to get dressed up for award shows and red carpets when I know I will be made fun of because of my weight. There’s always a big chance if I wear purple, I will be compared to Barney. If I wear white, a frozen turkey. And if I wear red, that pitcher of Kool-Aid that says, ‘Oh, yeah!’ Twitter will blow up with nasty comments about how the recent earthquake was caused by me running to a hot dog cart or something. …
                                                                                                      If I hadn’t been told I was garbage, I wouldn’t have learned how to show people I’m talented. And if everyone had always laughed at my jokes, I wouldn’t have figured out how to be so funny. If they hadn’t told me I was ugly, I never would have searched for my beauty. And if they hadn’t tried to break me down, I wouldn’t know that I’m unbreakable. So when you ask me how I’m so confident, I know what you’re really asking me: How could someone like me be confident? Go ask Rihanna, a–hole!”

                                                                                                      Earlier this year at a Ms. Foundation gala, the star of Precious gave an unbelievably inspiring speech about finding confidence and inner strength in spite of people — from internet commenters and fashion reporters to her grade school classmates and family members — who dismissed her based on her appearance. It’s definitely not the only time that Sibide has confronted Hollywood’s beauty standards head-on, but there’s a reason this very personal speech went viral: It’s incredibly heartfelt and moving.

                                                                                                      7. Rihanna

                                                                                                      rihanna body image quote

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                                                                                                                      by  oouinouin

                                                                                                                    “You shouldn’t be pressured into trying to be thin by the fashion industry, because they only want models that are like human mannequins. They know that if we see an outfit on a mannequin in a shop window we will love it and want to buy it whatever size we are. That’s why they have size zero models — they want to sell clothes. But you have to remember that it’s not practical or possible for an everyday woman to look like that. Being size zero is a career in itself so we shouldn’t try and be like them. It’s not realistic and it’s not healthy.”

                                                                                                                    So why is Rihanna so confident? RiRi is real with herself about the expectations placed on women, and as she told the UK’s Daily Mail, she’d rather be herself than try to force herself to fit others’ expectations.

                                                                                                                    8. Mindy Kaling

                                                                                                                    mindy baling body image quote

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                                                                                                                                        by  watchwithkristin

                                                                                                                                      “I always get asked, ‘Where do you get your confidence?’ I think people are well meaning, but it’s pretty insulting. Because what it means to me is, ‘You, Mindy Kaling, have all the trappings of a very marginalized person. You’re not skinny, you’re not white, you’re a woman. Why on earth would you feel like you’re worth anything?'”

                                                                                                                                      We loved her as Kelly on The Office, we adored her hilarious memoir, and with statements like this, it’s hard not to fall head over heels for the real Mindy Kaling. Kaling works hard to keep it real (like in this quote from an interview with Parade magazine), and regularly uses her star status to give the world some straight talk about body image.

                                                                                                                                      9. Amy Poehler

                                                                                                                                      amy poehler body image quote

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                                                                                                                                                      by  David Shankbone

                                                                                                                                                    “[W]e’re all different, everybody’s different, every body is different. There’s only, like, five perfectly symmetrical people in the world, and they’re all movie stars, and they should be, because their faces are very pleasing to look at, but the rest of us are just a jangle of stuff, and the earlier you learn that you should focus on what you have and not obsess about what you don’t have, the happier you will be. You really will be happier in life if you let go of the things that you will never have.”

                                                                                                                                                    Actress Amy Poehler might be mom to two sons, but with Amy Poehler’s Smart Girls (“Change the World by Being Yourself”), she’s an amazing surrogate mother to girls (and women) everywhere. This quote from her YouTube “Ask Amy” series is but one small example of how empowering — and endearing — Poehler is. Leslie Knope would love Amy Poehler.

                                                                                                                                                    10. Margaret Cho

                                                                                                                                                    margaret cho body image quote

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                                                                                                                                                                    by  brainchildvn

                                                                                                                                                                  “If you’re a woman, if you’re a person of color, if you’re gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, if you’re a person of size … then you’re considered a minority in this world. And it’s going to be hard to find messages of self-love and support anywhere. It’s all about you have to look a certain way or else you’re worthless. For us to have self-esteem is truly an act of revolution and our revolution is long overdue.”

                                                                                                                                                                  Comedian Margaret Cho has always been outspoken on a wide variety of topics, but in recent years, she’s become more vocal about warped standards of beauty and the impact they have on people’s lives. Cho goes out of her way to use public forums — from her stand-up act to her Twitter account — to speak out against rigid and sexist beauty standards, and to call out those who judge women solely by their looks.

                                                                                                                                                                  11. Rebel Wilson

                                                                                                                                                                  rebel wilson body image quote

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                                                                                                                                                                                      by  Eva Rinaldi Celebrity and Live Music Photographer

                                                                                                                                                                                    “There are so many glamorous actresses — but in the real world, nobody looks like that. I want to inspire girls who don’t think they’re cool or pretty. To do that, I need to put out a realistic version of what it’s like to be a girl who looks like me. Sometimes that means getting broken up with by a dude who says, ‘You’re too fat.’ That way, when my character wins, it’s gratifying.”

                                                                                                                                                                                    Her Super Fun Night may not have won over viewers (many felt it relied too much on making fun of the actress’s size), but Rebel Wilson still deserves props for being consistently, unapologetically herself. She told InTouch she credits her appearance with helping her succeed in Hollywood: “[N]ot looking like anyone else has made things easier for me, because I’m distinctive.”

                                                                                                                                                                                    12. Beyoncé

                                                                                                                                                                                    beyonce body image quote

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                                                                                                                                                                                                    by  sashimomura

                                                                                                                                                                                                  Confidence makes a woman sexy. Women should not get caught up in someone else’s definition of beauty. We are too obsessed with what a perfect nose is, or perfect hair, but there is nothing more beautiful than loving yourself and being confident.

                                                                                                                                                                                                  As Kelly Clarkson pointed out, Beyoncé is an astonishingly beautiful woman and yes, she gets Photoshopped. But Queen B doesn’t let her get it down — and she doesn’t think you should get hung up on that stuff either, as she told Very magazine.

                                                                                                                                                                                                  13. Melissa McCarthy

                                                                                                                                                                                                  melissa mccarthy body image quote

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                      by  MingleMediaTVNetwork

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Sometimes I wish I were just magically a size six and I never had to give [my weight] a single thought. … But I am weirdly healthy, so I don’t beat myself up about it — it wouldn’t help, and I don’t want to pass that on to my girls.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Melissa McCarthy is known for playing crazy, off-the-wall characters, but when it comes to body image, she is downright sane. Pretty much every interview she does involves answering questions about her size, but she keeps the conversation focused on physical and emotional health, as here in Good Housekeeping. And in the meantime, she continues to steal every scene in pretty much every movie she’s in.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    14. Kristen Bell

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Kristen Bell body image quote

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        by  Gage Skidmore

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      “I recently saw a picture of myself in a bikini in [a tabloid magazine], and they circled some bumps on my bottom and said, ‘We didn’t see any cellulite when Kristen was filming Forgetting Sarah Marshall.’ I looked at the picture, and I laughed so hard! I thought, I look good — really fit. Who cares if there are lumps on my thighs? I’m guilty of having human legs made up of fat, muscle and skin, and sometimes when you sit, they get bumpy! If I had not been a normal weight, they would’ve said, ‘Oh, she’s way too skinny.'”

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Though she’s played heroes (Veronica Mars) and villains (Sarah Marshall) on screen, the general consensus is that in real life, Kristen Bell is a total gem. Another reason to love her: She’s totally down-to-earth about her body, and refreshingly honest about Hollywood’s skewed standards. Bell’s quote is something to think about when you look at a picture of yourself — you are human. Give yourself a break!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Featured photo credit: Gage Skidmore via flickr.com

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      How to Control Your Thoughts and Become the Master of Your Mind

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      How to Control Your Thoughts and Become the Master of Your Mind

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Your mind is the most powerful tool you have for the creation of good in your life, but if not used correctly, can also be the most destructive force in your life.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Your mind, more specifically, your thoughts, affect your perception and therefore, your interpretation of reality.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I have heard that the average person thinks around 70,000 thoughts a day. That’s a lot, especially if they are unproductive, self-abusive and just a general waste of energy.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      You can let your thoughts run amok, but why would you? It is your mind, your thoughts; isn’t it time to take your power back? Isn’t it time to take control?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Choose to be the person who is actively, consciously thinking your thoughts. Become the master of your mind.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      When you change your thoughts, you will change your feelings as well, and you will also eliminate the triggers that set off those feelings. Both of these outcomes provide you with a greater level of peace in your mind.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I currently have few thoughts that are not of my own choosing or a response from my reprogramming. I am the master of my mind, so now my mind is quite peaceful. Yours can be too!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Who Is Thinking My Thoughts?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Before you can become the master of your mind, you must recognize that you are currently at the mercy of several unwanted “squatters” living in your mind, and they are in charge of your thoughts. If you want to be the boss of them, you must know who they are and what their motivation is, and then you can take charge and evict them.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Here are four of the “squatters” in your head that create the most unhealthy and unproductive thoughts:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. The Inner Critic

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      This is your constant abuser. He is often a conglomeration of:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Other people’s words; many times your parents.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Thoughts you have created based on your own or other peoples expectations.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Comparing yourself to other people, including those in the media.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • The things you told yourself as a result of painful experiences such as betrayal and rejection. Your interpretation creates your self-doubt and self-blame, which are most likely undeserved in cases of rejection and betrayal.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      He is motivated by pain, low self-esteem, lack of self-acceptance and lack of self-love.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Why else would he abuse you? And since “he” is actually you– why else would you abuse yourself? Why would you let anyone treat you this badly?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      2. The Worrier

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      This person lives in the future; in the world of “what ifs.”

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      He is motivated by fear which is often irrational and with no basis for it.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Occasionally, he is motivated by fear that what happened in the past will happen again.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      3. The Reactor or Trouble-Maker

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      He is the one that triggers anger, frustration and pain. These triggers stem from unhealed wounds of the past. Any experience that is even closely related to a past wound will set him off.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      He can be set off by words or feelings. He can even be set off by sounds and smells.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      He has no real motivation; he has poor impulse control and is run by past programming that no longer serves you, if it ever did.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      4. The Sleep Depriver

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      This can be a combination of any number of different squatters including the inner planner, the rehasher, and the ruminator, along with the inner critic and the worrier.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      His motivation can be:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • As a reaction to silence, which he fights against
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Taking care of the business you neglected during the day
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Self-doubt, low self-esteem, insecurity and generalized anxiety
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • As listed above for the inner critic and worrier

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      How can you control these squatters?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      How to Master Your Mind

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      You are the thinker and the observer of your thoughts. You must pay attention to your thoughts so you can identify “who” is running the show; this will determine which technique you will want to use.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Begin each day with the intention of paying attention to your thoughts and catching yourself when you are thinking undesirable thoughts.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      There are two ways to control your thoughts:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Technique A – Interrupt and replace them
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Technique B – Eliminate them altogether

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      This second option is what is known as peace of mind!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      The technique of interrupting and replacing is a means of reprogramming your subconscious mind. Eventually, the replacement thoughts will become the “go to” thoughts in the applicable situations.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Use Technique A with the Inner Critic and Worrier and Technique B with the Reactor and Sleep Depriver.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      For the Inner Critic

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      When you catch yourself thinking something negative about yourself (calling yourself names, disrespecting yourself, or berating yourself), interrupt it.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      You can yell (in your mind), “Stop! No!” or, “Enough! I’m in control now.” Then, whatever your negative thought was about yourself, replace it with an opposite or counter thought or an affirmation that begins with “I am.”

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      For example, if your thought is, “I’m such a loser,” you can replace it with, “I am a Divine Creation of the Universal Spirit. I am a perfect spiritual being learning to master the human experience. I am a being of energy, light, and matter. I am magnificent, brilliant, and beautiful. I love and approve of myself just as I am.”

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      You can also have a dialogue with yourself with the intention of discrediting the ‘voice’ that created the thought, if you know whose voice it is:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      “Just because so-and-so said I was a loser doesn’t make it true. It was his or her opinion, not a statement of fact. Or maybe they were joking and I took it seriously because I’m insecure.”

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      If you recognize that you have recurring self-critical thoughts, you can write out or pre-plan your counter thoughts or affirmation so you can be ready. This is the first squatter you should evict, forcefully, if necessary:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • He riles up the Worrier.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • The names you call yourself become triggers when called those names by others, so he also maintains the presence of the Reactor.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • He is often present when you try to fall asleep so he perpetuates the Sleep Depriver.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • He is a bully and is verbally and emotionally abusive.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • He is the destroyer of self-esteem. He convinces you that you’re not worthy. He’s a liar! In the interest of your self-worth, get him out!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Eliminate your worst critic and you will also diminish the presence of the other three squatters.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Replace him with your new best friend who supports, encourages, and enhances your life. This is a presence you want in your mind.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      For the Worrier

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Prolonged anxiety is mentally, emotionally and physically unhealthy. It can have long-term health implications.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Fear initiates the fight or flight response, creates worry in the mind and creates anxiety in the body.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      You should be able to recognize a “worry thought” immediately by how you feel. The physiological signs that the fight or flight response of fear has kicked in are:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Increased heart rate, blood pressure, or surge of adrenaline
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Shallow breathing or breathlessness
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Muscles tense

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Use the above stated method to interrupt any thought of worry and then replace it. But this time you will replace your thoughts of worry with thoughts of gratitude for the outcome you wish for.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      If you believe in a higher power, this is the time to engage with it. Here is an example:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Instead of worrying about my loved ones traveling in bad weather, I say the following (I call it a prayer):

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      “Thank you great spirit for watching over _______. Thank you for watching over his/her car and keeping it safe, road-worthy, and free of maintenance issues without warning. Thank you for surrounding him/her with only safe, conscientious, and alert drivers. And thank you for keeping him/her safe, conscientious, and alert.”

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Smile when you think about it or say it aloud, and phrase it in the present tense; both of these will help you feel it and possibly even start to believe it.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      If you can visualize what you are praying for, the visualization will enhance the feeling so you will increase the impact in your vibrational field.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Now take a calming breath, slowly in through your nose, and slowly out through the mouth. Take as many as you like!

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Replacing fearful thoughts with gratitude will decrease reactionary behavior, taking the steam out of the Reactor.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      For example:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      If your child gets lost in the mall, the typical parental reaction that follows the fearful thoughts when finding them is to yell at them.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      “I told you never to leave my sight.” This reaction just adds to the child’s fear level from being lost in the first place. Plus, it also teaches them that mom and/or dad will get mad when he or she makes a mistake, which may make them lie to you or not tell you things in the future.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Change those fearful thoughts when they happen:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      “Thank You (your choice of Higher Power) for watching over my child and keeping him safe. Thank you for helping me find him soon.”

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Then, when you see your child after this thought process, your only reaction will be gratitude, and that seems like a better alternative for all people involved.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      For the Trouble-Maker, Reactor or Over-Reactor

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Permanently eliminating this squatter will take a bit more attention and reflection after the fact to identify and heal the causes of the triggers; but until then, you can prevent the Reactor from getting out of control by initiating conscious breathing as soon as you recognize his presence.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      The Reactor’s thoughts or feelings activate the fight or flight response just like with the Worrier. The physiological signs of his presence will be the same. With a little attention, you should be able to tell the difference between anxiety, anger, frustration, or pain:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Increased heart rate and blood pressure; surge of adrenaline
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Shallow breathing or breathlessness
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Muscles tension

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I’m sure you’ve heard the suggestion to count to ten when you get angry—well, you can make those ten seconds much more productive if you are breathing consciously during that time.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Conscious breathing is as simple as it sounds; just be conscious of your breathing. Pay attention to the air going in and coming out.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Breathe in through your nose:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Feel the air entering your nostrils.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Feel your lungs filling and expanding.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Focus on your belly rising.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Breathe out through your nose:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Feel your lungs emptying.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Focus on your belly falling.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Feel the air exiting your nostrils.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Do this for as long as you like. Leave the situation if you want. This gives the adrenaline time to normalize.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Now you can address the situation with a calmer, more rational perspective and avoid damaging behavior.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      One of the troubles this squatter causes is that it adds to the sleep depriver’s issues. By evicting, or at least controlling the Reactor, you will decrease reactionary behavior, which will decrease the need for the rehashing and ruminating that may keep you from falling asleep.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Master your mind and stop the Reactor from bringing stress to you and your relationships!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      For the Sleep Depriver

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      (He’s made up of the Inner Planner, the Rehasher and the Ruminator, along with the Inner Critic and the Worrier.)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I was plagued with a very common problem: not being able to turn off my mind at bedtime. This inability prevented me from falling asleep and thus, getting a restful and restorative night’s sleep.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Here’s how I mastered my mind and evicted the Sleep Depriver and all his cronies.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. I started by focusing on my breathing—paying attention to the rise and fall of my belly—but that didn’t keep the thoughts out for long. (Actually, I now start with checking my at-rest mouth position to keep me from clenching.)
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      2. Then I came up with replacement strategy that eliminated uncontrolled thinking—imagining the word in while breathing in and thinking the word out when breathing out. I would (and do) elongate the word to match the length of my breath.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      When I catch myself thinking, I shift back to in, out. With this technique, I am still thinking, sort of, but the wheels are no longer spinning out of control. I am in control of my mind and I choose quiet.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      From the first time I tried this method I started to yawn after only a few cycles and am usually asleep within ten minutes.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      For really difficult nights, I add an increase of attention by holding my eyes in a looking-up position (Closed, of course!). Sometimes I try to look toward my third eye but that really hurts my eyes.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      If you have trouble falling asleep because you can’t shut off your mind, I strongly recommend you try this technique. I still use it every night. You can start sleeping better tonight!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      You can also use this technique any time you want to:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Fall back to sleep if you wake up too soon.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Shut down your thinking.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Calm your feelings.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Simply focus on the present moment. 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Becoming the Master of Your Mind

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Your mind is a tool, and like any other tool, it can be used for constructive purposes or for destructive purposes.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      You can allow your mind to be occupied by unwanted, undesirable and destructive tenants, or you can choose desirable tenants like peace, gratitude, compassion, love, and joy.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Your mind can become your best friend, your biggest supporter, and someone you can count on to be there and encourage you. The choice is yours!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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