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13 Tips To Face Your Fear and Enjoy the Ride

13 Tips To Face Your Fear and Enjoy the Ride

    Everyone is afraid. I am, you are, everyone is! The only difference between you and the successful people you admire is that they are willing to work and move through their fears in order to get where they want to be.

    If you don’t learn how to face your fear it will grip your mind, body, and spirit. It will wage a war against you and your dreams. Know this need not be. Once you understand how you can dissipate fear, it shrinks and is no longer a threat.

    The next time you’re in a scary place try the following exercises.

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    1. Journal your fears

    Write about your fear and its origin. How has it held you back in the past? Set aside time and without judgment, reflect on what you’ve written. You gain insight and loosen fears grip by observing it. When you write down your fear, fear loses its power over you.

    2. Lean into your fear

    Do the things that frighten you. Take one small step, then another. Action builds courage. Tell yourself, “This fear will pass.” Your world expands as your courage and willingness to grow expands. Open up your world, today to face your fear.

    3. Relax your body

    Unclench your jaw, soften your forehead, open your fists, slow down your pounding heart, and breathe. Take mini relaxation breaks throughout your day. Learn to live in a relaxed state.

    4. Journal your past success

    We tend to beat ourselves up when we fail and fail to celebrate when we succeed. Strengthen your belief in yourself by reflecting on each decade of your life and every success you’ve experienced. You can begin as early as age five when you learned how to ride a bike. Write it all down. You’ll be inspired, motivated and amazed by your list and how and can be used to face your fear.

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    5. Stop your story

    Fear is an illusion. We make up frightening stories about our past and our future and rehearse them until we are terrified. Our stories are often about the pain of the past or the fear of the future. Change the fearful stories you tell yourself. You can find safety by learning to live in the present moment. You always have the option to create new stories filled with positive expectations of the future.

    6. Laugh at your fear

    Make fun of your fear by laughing at it. Really let it rip. Try and see how silly it is to hold back and give your power away to something that isn’t real!

    7. Dwell on abundance

    Learn to think, speak, and live as an abundant person to face your fear. Stop paying attention to all forms of negative media. Celebrate your life. Be generous. Give. Donate. Share.

    8. Live vicariously

    Study the success of Victor Frankl, Steve Jobs, Southwest Airlines, J.K. Rowling and other greats. Take note of their bold lifestyle and follow their path to greatness.

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    9. Believe in yourself

    Focus your attention on being ready, willing, and prepared for the success, joy, wonder, connections, good fortune, and awesome circumstances that are yours if you are willing to work and be open to it. You deserve the best no matter what. Accept that fact about yourself.

    10. Learn something new

    Do you lack information or direction? Develop your intuition. Get a mentor. Join Toastmasters. Be a life-long learner. Give it your all. Burn the midnight oil. Take action on what you learn. Fear fades in an environment of this kind.

    11. Take your fear and shove it

    Let go of looking stupid, feeling embarrassed, being ignored and facing rejection or failure. Accept failure as a part of life. Get through it and get over it.

    12. Help others

    Give to the beginners. Be a good leader. Take others with you and help them succeed as well. What would life be like if we believed in, “All for one, and one for all?” We all want the same things in life. Let’s help each other move ahead.

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    13. View life as a creative and wild adventure

    Life can be brimming with good times of beauty and adventure or overwhelming with challenge and tragedy. Choose to stay present and breathe through it all. Be grateful for the varied landscape, hold onto your hat, and enjoy the ride.

    (Photo credit: Young climber’s silhouette hanging by a cliff via Shutterstock)

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    Science Says Screaming Is Good For You

    Science Says Screaming Is Good For You

    There are many reasons why people might scream – they’re angry, scared, or in pain (or maybe they’re in a metal band!). Some might say that screaming is bad, but here’s why science says it’s good for you.

    “For the first time in the history of psychology there is a way to access feelings, hidden away, in a safe way and thus to reduce human suffering. It is, in essence, the first science of psychotherapy.” — Dr. Arthur Janov

    Primal Therapy

    Dr. Arthur Janov invented Primal Therapy in the late 1960’s. It is a practice that allows the patient to face their repressed emotions from past trauma head on and let those emotions go. This treatment is intended to cure any mental illness the patient may have that surfaced from this past trauma. In most cases, Primal Therapy has lead Dr. Janov’s patients to scream towards the end of their session, though it was not part of the original procedure. During a group therapy session that was at a standstill, Dr. Janov says that one of his patients, a student he called Danny, told a story that inspired him to implement a technique that he never would have thought of on his own.

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    How it Started

    “During a lull in our group therapy session, he told us a story about a man named Ortiz who was currently doing an act on the London stage in which he paraded around in diapers drinking bottles of milk. Throughout his number, Ortiz is shouting, ‘Mommy! Daddy! Mommy! Daddy!’ at the top of his lungs. At the end of his act he vomits. Plastic bags are passed out, and the audience is requested to follow suit.”

    It doesn’t end there, though. Dr. Janov said that his patient was quite fascinated with that story, and that alone moved him to suggest something even he believed to be a little elementary.

    “I asked him to call out, ‘Mommy! Daddy!’ Danny refused, saying that he couldn’t see the sense in such a childish act, and frankly, neither could I. But I persisted, and finally, he gave in. As he began, he became noticeably upset. Suddenly he was writhing on the floor in agony. His breathing was rapid, spasmodic. ‘Mommy! Daddy!’ came out of his mouth almost involuntarily in loud screeches. He appeared to be in a coma or hypnotic state. The writhing gave way to small convulsions, and finally, he released a piercing, deathlike scream that rattled the walls of my office. The entire episode lasted only a few minutes, and neither Danny nor I had any idea what had happened. All he could say afterward was: ‘I made it! I don’t know what, but I can feel.’”

    Delving deeper

    Dr. Janov says he was baffled for months, but then he decided to experiment with another patient with the same method, which lead to a similar result as before. The patient started out calling “Mommy! Daddy!” then experienced convulsions, heavy breathing, and then eventually screamed. After the session, Dr. Janov says his patient was transformed and became “virtually another human being. He became alert… he seemed to understand himself.”

    Although the initial intention of this particular practice wasn’t to get the patient to scream, more than once did his Primal Therapy sessions end with the patient screaming and feeling lighter, revived, and relieved of stresses that were holding them down in life.

    Some Methods To Practice Screaming

    If you want to try it out for yourself, keep reading!

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    • Step 1: Be Alone — Be alone. If you live in a place that you can’t be alone, it might be a good idea to talk to your family or roommates and explain to them what you’re about to do and make sure they’re okay with it. If you’re good to go, move on to step 2.
    • Step 2: Lie Down — Lie down on a yoga mat on your back and place a pillow underneath your head. If you don’t own a yoga mat, you can use a rug or even a soft blanket.
    • Step 3: Think — Think of things that have hurt you or made you angry. It can be anything from your childhood or even something that happened recently to make yourself cry, if you’re not already crying or upset. You could even scream “Mommy! Daddy!” just like Dr. Janov’s patients did to get yourself started.
    • Step 4: Scream — Don’t hold anything back; cry and scream as loud as you can. You can also pound your fists on the ground, or just lie there and scream at the top of your lungs.

    After this, you should return your breathing to a normal and steady pace. You should feel lighter, like a weight has been lifted off of you. If not, you can also try these other methods.

    Scream Sing

    Scream singing” is referring to what a lot of lead singers in metal or screamo bands will do. I’ve tried it and although I wasn’t very good at it, it was fun and definitely relieved me of any stress I was feeling from before. It usually ends up sounding like a really loud grunt, but nonetheless, it’s considered screaming.

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    • Step 1 — Bear down and make a grunting sound.
    • Step 2 — Hiss like a snake and make sure to do this from your diaphragm (your stomach) for as long as you can.
    • Step 3 — Breathe and push your stomach out for more air when you are belting notes, kind of like you would if you were singing.
    • Step 4 — Try different ways to let out air to control how long the note will last, just make sure not to let out too much air.
    • Step 5 — Distort your voice by pushing air out from your throat, just be careful not to strain yourself.
    • Step 6 — Play around with the pitch of your screams and how wide your mouth is open – the wider your mouth is open, the higher the screams will sound. The narrower or rounder your mouth is (and most likely shaped like an “o”), the lower the screams will sound.
    • Step 7 — Start screaming to metal music. If you’re not a huge metal fan, it’s okay. You don’t have to use this method if you don’t want to.

    If you want a more thorough walkthrough of how to scream sing, here’s a good video tutorial. If this method is too strenuous on your vocal chords, stop. Also, make sure to stay hydrated when scream singing and drink lots of water.

    Scream into a pillow

    Grab a pillow and scream into it. This method is probably the fastest and easiest way to practice screaming. Just make sure to come up for air.

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    Always remember to make sure that you’re not going to disturb anyone while practicing any of these methods of screaming. And with that, happy screaming!

    Featured photo credit: Sharon Mollerus via flickr.com

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