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10 Things You Need to Survive a Custody Battle

10 Things You Need to Survive a Custody Battle

While the divorce rate in the UK may have remained relatively steady since 2010, the fact that 42% of marriages end acrimoniously there remains a source of genuine concern. Regardless of whether this is the result of infidelity, incompatibility or unreasonable behavior on the side of one or both partners, the impact can be significant, especially for any children involved. According to the Office for National Statistics, 48% of all divorced couples had at least one child aged under 16 living within the family, meaning that a significant number of youngsters are affected by marital breakdowns every single year in the UK.

The divorce rate is a major issue in many other countries as well, and it remains the responsibility of parents to ensure that any subsequent custody battle does not impact negatively on their child’s psyche. Fortunately, there is a wealth of expert advice available to parents who are seeking custody of their child, which can help them to pursue a course that serves the best interests of all parties.

With this in mind, let’s consider the fundamental components of a custody battle, and the tools that can help parents to achieve their goals in an amicable and productive manner:

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1. A Clear Set of Goals and Targets from the Outset

Knowing what you want to achieve from custody proceedings and matching this expectation with the reality of your situation is a key starting point for anyone embarking on this process. From the beginning you need to fight as hard as you can to receive as much time as possible with your children. Whether it is full or shared custody, or greater visitation time that you seek to achieve, the overriding factor here is to analyze and ensure the outcome you want is an achievable goal.

2. A Level Head

Custody battles may produce an unpleasant reaction from your former partner, and this behavior may well manifest away from the court room. It is therefore crucial to remember that you are an adult who strives to set an example for your children, so never rise to the bait and keep a level head at all times. By controlling your emotions, retaining the ability to think clearly, and defending yourself in a calm and assertive manner, you can create a favorable impression, both on your legal representation and the judge who oversees your case.

3. Reputable and Empathetic Legal Representation

Regardless of the precise circumstances of your case or the subjective ideals of right and wrong, you cannot hope to win custody of your children without sound and reputable legal representation. Not only must your legal team have considerable experience in the field of family law, it is also important that they are empathetic to your needs and the emotional challenges that you face as a parent. So be sure to shop around to find the solicitor who seems the most amenable to the results that you are trying to achieve, and take advantage of the fact that the majority of firms will offer a free, thirty-minute consultation and an informed appraisal of your case.

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4. A Concise Plan of Action

Custody battles consume a lot of time; you need to keep track of many different information strands that may prove important in court or at a tribunal. This allows you to be able to consider things ahead of time and provide critical information to your legal team. Should you find your visitation rights restricted during this time, for example, it is crucial that you keep a visual record for the court of the days that you were allowed to see your children and the days that you were not. This can serve as a powerful and emotive tool during the hearing, as it showcases willingness and an underlying desire to raise and nurture your child.

5. A History of Maintaining Child Support

Maintenance or child support issues must never be aired in conversations regarding custody. The last thing you want to do is sully the fact that you are the more nurturing parent with inappropriately timed child support discussions. Court or tribunal actors may cynically assume your wish to spend more time with your children is an economic consideration, aimed at reducing your financial obligations. Ultimately, as with any situation, you must obey legislation that applies to you. If it is your name on the birth certificate and you are legally bound to pay maintenance, you must make good your obligation.

6. Documentation to Support Your Case

In preparation for your custody battle, you will need to invest in a large file organizer. This organizer will contain every important document or file pertaining to your custody battle. A certified copy of the current custodial arrangement should be the first document included in this file. You must then familiarize yourself with the duties and responsibilities placed upon each partner, and create a list of the documentation that is necessary to support your fulfillment of these. Documentation can also help to support any claims you make during the hearing, so keep a copy of all telecommunications with your partner, and use a journal to detail any violation or breaches of an existing agreement.

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7. Open Lines of Communication with Your Ex-Partner

The use of term ‘battle’ in relation to custody is misleading, as ultimately it must be hoped that both you and your former partner want nothing but the best for your children. So while looking to achieve the aims you originally set a course for, look to engender diplomacy within the custody process. Clearly much of this depends on the quality of relationship you still enjoy with your former partner, but try not to lose sight of the fact that once the court proceedings end and the legal fees have been paid, there will be only yourself, your ex and your children to consider. Without open lines of communication and some common ground going forward, it is the children who will ultimately suffer as they grow older.

8. A Skilled and Motivated Mediator

Mediation is a quicker and cheaper way to assess and decide upon custody arrangement than going through the courts. In the UK in 2012, 67% of publicly funded couples resolved their dispute using a qualified mediator. The average timescale for mediation was 110 days, compared with 435 days for court proceedings. It is expected that use of mediation as an alternative to court procedure will continue to rise rapidly. This is a different process from the traditional court route and all mediators are meant to be entirely without bias, although the process does look to compel agreement amongst the parties.

9. A Willingness to Spend Your Hard-Earned Money

In the UK, legal aid for divorce cases is only available to victims of domestic violence or abuse. While family mediation is covered by legal aid, the vast majority of private family law cases in the UK are not included within this legislation. While the situation obviously varies from country to country, if you don’t have access to legal aid this means that if you are committed to pursuing custody through the courts, you will need to invest a great deal of your hard-earned money in securing legal representation and settling all associated costs. This is something that you will need to prepare for from the outset, as otherwise you will run the risk of exhausting your funding before the case arrives in court.

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10. A Respectable Appearance and Demeanor

Regardless of the legal route taken, be it mediation or court, your general appearance and behavior will be scrutinized by the officials who take charge of proceedings. You can rest assured that this process will prove lengthy; therefore on each occasion you attend a court or mediation date, you need to look and sound your best. These must not be considered occasions to vent your frustration, regardless of how you may feel. Everything that you do within these conditions must be rational and serve to further your own case, rather than providing ammunition for your partner’s legal team.

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Last Updated on October 14, 2019

10 Simple Ways To Increase Metabolism Without Working Out

10 Simple Ways To Increase Metabolism Without Working Out

When it comes to increasing your metabolism, getting a good workout a couple of times a week is only one of many players. If you’re not a fan of lifting heavy stuff, then you’re only expending extra energy for that, say, one hour of that specific day. But what about the remaining 23 hours? How can you make sure you’re burning blubber all throughout the day? Here are 10 simple ways to increase your metabolism without working out.

1. Stand More

Many health practitioners claim that sitting is the new smoking. We sit in the office, we sit in the car, we sit when we get home. It’s not only terrible for your health and posture, but you require a lot less energy when seated. So, a good way to ignite the furnace a bit is to stand as much as possible through out the day. You work in an office? Put two boxes under your keyboard or laptop. There are many free solutions to making a standing desk—so you have no excuses. When you’ve gotten used to standing while working you will quickly find that it’s easier to stay engaged as well—you’re less inclined to drift away mentally. In fact, this post was written standing.

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2. Gamify Your Life

Toys such as the Fitbit or Nike Fuelband, or apps like Argus, can help you increase your metabolism by giving you an incentive to walk more. Argus, and other apps like it, use the accelerometer in your smartphone to measure your steps and let you know when you’ve hit your daily goal. Fitbit and the Nike Fuelband do the same, but have a host of other functions to make being healthy a tad more fun.

3. Eat Your Veggies

Fibrous vegetables like cauliflower and broccoli increase your metabolism by putting your digestive system on overdrive. It just simply requires more energy to break down the tough fiber of these nutritional powerhouses. You’ll also start feeling like a rock star from the overload of vitamins and minerals from eating more vegetables.

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4. Eat Protein

This is one of those rules that’s not to be misunderstood. While it does boost your metabolism to eat more protein, it should be instead of other foods, not on top of other foods. If you’re stuffing your face with a chicken breast when you’re not hungry just to boost your metabolism, you’re doing it wrong. Of the three macro-nutrients—fats, carbs and protein—protein is the one that requires the most energy to break down. So, if you switch out some of those cheese sandwiches with a few hardboiled eggs you’re on the right path.

5. Drink Loads Of Cold Water

Drinking a few glasses of ice-cold water in the morning can boost your metabolism quite effectively. Your body expends energy on constantly staying in homeostasis when it comes to temperature, so if you chug a bunch of icy water you’re making your body expend more energy on keeping itself at the same temperature. Using temperature to expend more energy is called thermogenesis and it’s one of the most efficient ways of cranking up your calorie burning—more on this further down.

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6. Spice Up Your Meals

Spices like cayenne, chilli, ginger and turmeric ignite your metabolism and make your meals a bit more exciting. If you make it a habit to add a little bit of spice to each of your meals it can be a habit that turns you into a fat-burning furnace.

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    7. Drink Caffeine

    No, drinking loads of coffee is not bad for you. The sugar and heavy cream you could be inclined to chase it down with might be though. Caffeine helps mobilize—that is, get rid of—adipose tissue, or fat. It also helps athletic performance, and some individuals report it to have appetite-curbing effects. If you’re very sensitive to stimulants, try not to have caffeine too close to bedtime though, as it can mess with your sleep.

    8. Plan Your Meals Around Exercise

    I know the title of this post says “…Without Working Out” but this trick technically is more a nutritional trick than an exercise-related one. When you’ve exerted yourself and, hopefully, broken down some muscle fibers, your protein synthesis, or the rate at which you build muscle, increases. So, having heavy meals after a workout will make sure those calories get stored in the right places. This is one of the reasons it’s a good idea to get a heavy session in before the Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner.

    9. Do Intermittent Fasting

    It’s long been said you should always eat a heavy breakfast as it kick starts your metabolic rate. There hasn’t been any study proving this though. There have only been behavioral studies correlating obesity with breakfast skippers, but it’s always been a case of confusing correlation with causation. It’s not the fact that you skip breakfast that makes you fat; it’s the poor food choices you make throughout the rest of your day. Studies have shown that fat burning increases the longer you get into a fast, obviously depending on the body fat level of the individual. In fact, in one study lowered metabolic rate did not occur until 60 hours into a fast. Intermittent fasting is very much one of the bigger wins when it comes to increasing your metabolism.

    10. Use Cold Exposure

    For some reason it’s been common knowledge for a while that sweating increases metabolic rate. Scientist have known for a while though that the opposite is actually true; exposing yourself to cold temperatures increase your calorie burn significantly. Just slight shifts in your home temperature can mean pounds lost or gained when you gather the numbers yearly. How else do you think swimmer Michael Phelps is able to eat 12,000 calories a day? Obviously, he swims hours each day, but it’s not just the exercise he gets from swimming that allows him to consume such quantities of food, it’s also the amount of energy the body has to expend to keep itself at its baseline temperature in the cold water. So, taking ice-cold showers, decreasing the temperature of your home, or swimming in cool pools will help you burn a lot more calories.

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