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10 Things We Need More of

10 Things We Need More of

“Less is more” is one of those phrases that I feel I need a map to. Let’s focus instead on when more is more. When more is better. When words mean what they actually mean. I’m going to hand this over to Mike Burns from The Other Side Of Complexity now because it’s getting confusing:

So, does less=more or not? It depends on who you ask and what you mean. Some people get borderline angry when they hear that phrase. To them, it feels unrealistic, naive, and just plain untrue. I can relate. Unrealistic idealism can be frustrating. I, personally, like the phrase. But that’s because of how I define it. You can read my thoughts on What We Mean When We Say “Less is More” here.

In general, I’m a “Less is more” fan. But I would quickly admit that less isn’t alwaysmore. There are times when it doesn’t apply. That’s not hypocrisy. It just represents a different way of looking at it. It’s not a consistent goal to attain. Rather, it’s a tool to be used to accomplish a purpose. And, at times, LESS isn’t the best tool.

Here are a few things we need MORE of:

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More love.

The feelings and the actions. The emotion and the proof. There isn’t enough. Less isn’t more in this area. Let’s nurture our hearts and cultivate a more loving environment wherever we go.

More pursuit of passions.

We don’t always get to spend our time doing exactly what we want to do. But life is too short to surrender to misery. We need to figure out what we love and start going for it, with whatever time and resources we have available to us.

More time with friends & family.

Play games, watch movies, read books, prepare meals, write letters, dance, sing, make videos, talk, go for a walk, listen to music, drink coffee, Skype. Relationships are what will matter to us over the long haul.

More patience.

We don’t always get it right. We want second chances when we don’t. So let’s give that same opportunity to others. We are all evolving and learning. We have to understand that. The people around you aren’t “stupid”. They’re just focusing on different areas than you. Chill out. When you’re tempted to get frustrated with someone else, remind yourself of the things that you are still working on.

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More respect.

Our opinion is not the only opinion. We need to be more careful about how we criticize and demonize people “on the other side” of whatever issue we’re discussing. Really listen to them. Hear what they’re saying. Try to understand their heart on the issue. If we could have more respect for each other, we might actually make progress on the issues instead of just fighting.

More art.

Make something. You can do it. Paint or build or sew or draw or record or film or capture or write or do something where you express yourself. Make something out of nothing. Make something out of something else. We need more art.

More learning.

We get stale when we just repeat the same information month after month and year after year. Life is more exciting when we are pursuing new information and learning. It’s tough when we lose our awe and wonder at all that’s around us. Read a book, surf YouTube, etc.

More rest.

Our resources are limited. We sometimes get so busy driving that we don’t take time to pull over for gas. That never works out well. It can be hard sometimes. If you’re motivated to do things, you may find yourself having to push the reset button in this area often. When those times come, push it! We have to have “down time” so we can recharge.

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More physical things that you need.

Sometimes we actually DO need more stuff. Having the right tools can make all the difference in the world. I’m no carpenter or handyman, but I’ve done my share of projects around the house. Sometimes, the difference between a quick, painless project and an all-day, frustrating bout of misery is just a simple tool. In those moments, buy it. The RIGHT stuff actually makes things easier and helps you have free time for your passions.

I understand that we’re just playing with words right now. “More rest” could have been stated “Do less”. It’s not the terminology that’s important. It’s what it means to us.

For me, the point is to “Live Well”. I want to eliminate the unnecessary so I can focus on what’s most important. I don’t want to be a snob.

Let’s get rid of clutter in our lives so we can have MORE of what we love and want to do.

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Mike Burns blogs about living well and focusing on what’s most important at theothersideofcomplexity.com.  He has also written books about decluttering. You can connect with him on Twitter (@mikemikeburns) and Facebook (facebook.com/theothersideofcomplexity).

When Less Isn’t More | The Other Side Of Complexity

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Siobhan Harmer

Siobhan is a passionate writer sharing about motivation and happiness tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on January 3, 2020

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

Are you waiting for life events to turn out the way you want so that you can feel more positive about your life? Do you find yourself having pre-conditions to your sense of well-being, thinking that certain things must happen for you to be happier? Do you think there is no way that your life stresses can make you anything other than “stressed out” and that other people just don’t understand?  If your answer is “yes” to any of these questions, you might find yourself lingering in the land of negativity for too long!

The following are some tips to keep positive no matter what comes your way. This post will help you stop looking for what psychologists call “positivity” in all the wrong places!  Here are the ten essential habits of positive people.

1. Positive people don’t confuse quitting with letting go.

Instead of hanging on to ideas, beliefs, and even people that are no longer healthy for them, they trust their judgement to let go of negative forces in their lives.  Especially in terms of relationships, they subscribe to The Relationship Prayer which goes:

 I will grant myself the ability to trust the healthy people in my life … 

To set limits with, or let go of, the negative ones … 

And to have the wisdom to know the DIFFERENCE!

 2.  Positive people don’t just have a good day – they make a good day.

Waiting, hoping and wishing seldom have a place in the vocabulary of positive individuals. Rather, they use strong words that are pro-active and not reactive. Passivity leads to a lack of involvement, while positive people get very involved in constructing their lives. They work to make changes to feel better in tough times rather than wish their feelings away.

3. For the positive person, the past stays in the past.

Good and bad memories alike stay where they belong – in the past where they happened. They don’t spend much time pining for the good ol’ days because they are too busy making new memories now. The negative pulls from the past are used not for self-flagellation or unproductive regret, but rather productive regret where they use lessons learned as stepping stones towards a better future.

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4. Show me a positive person and I can show you a grateful person.

The most positive people are the most grateful people.  They do not focus on the potholes of their lives.  They focus on the pot of gold that awaits them every day, with new smells, sights, feelings and experiences.  They see life as a treasure chest full of wonder.

5. Rather than being stuck in their limitations, positive people are energized by their possibilities.

Optimistic people focus on what they can do, not what they can’t do.  They are not fooled to think that there is a perfect solution to every problem, and are confident that there are many solutions and possibilities.  They are not afraid to attempt new solutions to old problems, rather than spin their wheels expecting things to be different this time.  They refuse to be like Charlie Brown expecting that this time Lucy will not pull the football from him!

6. Positive people do not let their fears interfere with their lives!

Positive people have observed that those who are defined and pulled back by their fears never really truly live a full life. While proceeding with appropriate caution, they do not let fear keep them from trying new things. They realize that even failures are necessary steps for a successful life. They have confidence that they can get back up when they are knocked down by life events or their own mistakes, due to a strong belief in their personal resilience.

7. Positive people smile a lot!

When you feel positive on the inside it is like you are smiling from within, and these smiles are contagious. Furthermore, the more others are with positive people, the more they tend to smile too! They see the lightness in life, and have a sense of humor even when it is about themselves. Positive people have a high degree of self-respect, but refuse to take themselves too seriously!

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8. People who are positive are great communicators.

They realize that assertive, confident communication is the only way to connect with others in everyday life.  They avoid judgmental, angry interchanges, and do not let someone else’s blow up give them a reason to react in kind. Rather, they express themselves with tact and finesse.  They also refuse to be non-assertive and let people push them around. They refuse to own problems that belong to someone else.

9. Positive people realize that if you live long enough, there are times for great pain and sadness.

One of the most common misperceptions about positive people is that to be positive, you must always be happy. This can not be further from the truth. Anyone who has any depth at all is certainly not happy all the time.  Being sad, angry, disappointed are all essential emotions in life. How else would you ever develop empathy for others if you lived a life of denial and shallow emotions? Positive people do not run from the gamut of emotions, and accept that part of the healing process is to allow themselves to experience all types of feelings, not only the happy ones. A positive person always holds the hope that there is light at the end of the darkness.  

10. Positive person are empowered people – they refuse to blame others and are not victims in life.

Positive people seek the help and support of others who are supportive and safe.They limit interactions with those who are toxic in any manner, even if it comes to legal action and physical estrangement such as in the case of abuse. They have identified their own basic human rights, and they respect themselves too much to play the part of a victim. There is no place for holding grudges with a positive mindset. Forgiveness helps positive people become better, not bitter.

How about you?  How many habits of positive people do you personally find in yourself?  If you lack even a few of these 10 essential habits, you might find that the expected treasure at the end of the rainbow was not all that it was cracked up to be. How could it — if you keep on bringing a negative attitude around?

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I wish you well in keeping positive, because as we all know, there is certainly nothing positive about being negative!

Featured photo credit: Janaína Castelo Branco via flickr.com

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