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10 Things We Need More of

10 Things We Need More of

“Less is more” is one of those phrases that I feel I need a map to. Let’s focus instead on when more is more. When more is better. When words mean what they actually mean. I’m going to hand this over to Mike Burns from The Other Side Of Complexity now because it’s getting confusing:

So, does less=more or not? It depends on who you ask and what you mean. Some people get borderline angry when they hear that phrase. To them, it feels unrealistic, naive, and just plain untrue. I can relate. Unrealistic idealism can be frustrating. I, personally, like the phrase. But that’s because of how I define it. You can read my thoughts on What We Mean When We Say “Less is More” here.

In general, I’m a “Less is more” fan. But I would quickly admit that less isn’t alwaysmore. There are times when it doesn’t apply. That’s not hypocrisy. It just represents a different way of looking at it. It’s not a consistent goal to attain. Rather, it’s a tool to be used to accomplish a purpose. And, at times, LESS isn’t the best tool.

Here are a few things we need MORE of:

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More love.

The feelings and the actions. The emotion and the proof. There isn’t enough. Less isn’t more in this area. Let’s nurture our hearts and cultivate a more loving environment wherever we go.

More pursuit of passions.

We don’t always get to spend our time doing exactly what we want to do. But life is too short to surrender to misery. We need to figure out what we love and start going for it, with whatever time and resources we have available to us.

More time with friends & family.

Play games, watch movies, read books, prepare meals, write letters, dance, sing, make videos, talk, go for a walk, listen to music, drink coffee, Skype. Relationships are what will matter to us over the long haul.

More patience.

We don’t always get it right. We want second chances when we don’t. So let’s give that same opportunity to others. We are all evolving and learning. We have to understand that. The people around you aren’t “stupid”. They’re just focusing on different areas than you. Chill out. When you’re tempted to get frustrated with someone else, remind yourself of the things that you are still working on.

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More respect.

Our opinion is not the only opinion. We need to be more careful about how we criticize and demonize people “on the other side” of whatever issue we’re discussing. Really listen to them. Hear what they’re saying. Try to understand their heart on the issue. If we could have more respect for each other, we might actually make progress on the issues instead of just fighting.

More art.

Make something. You can do it. Paint or build or sew or draw or record or film or capture or write or do something where you express yourself. Make something out of nothing. Make something out of something else. We need more art.

More learning.

We get stale when we just repeat the same information month after month and year after year. Life is more exciting when we are pursuing new information and learning. It’s tough when we lose our awe and wonder at all that’s around us. Read a book, surf YouTube, etc.

More rest.

Our resources are limited. We sometimes get so busy driving that we don’t take time to pull over for gas. That never works out well. It can be hard sometimes. If you’re motivated to do things, you may find yourself having to push the reset button in this area often. When those times come, push it! We have to have “down time” so we can recharge.

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More physical things that you need.

Sometimes we actually DO need more stuff. Having the right tools can make all the difference in the world. I’m no carpenter or handyman, but I’ve done my share of projects around the house. Sometimes, the difference between a quick, painless project and an all-day, frustrating bout of misery is just a simple tool. In those moments, buy it. The RIGHT stuff actually makes things easier and helps you have free time for your passions.

I understand that we’re just playing with words right now. “More rest” could have been stated “Do less”. It’s not the terminology that’s important. It’s what it means to us.

For me, the point is to “Live Well”. I want to eliminate the unnecessary so I can focus on what’s most important. I don’t want to be a snob.

Let’s get rid of clutter in our lives so we can have MORE of what we love and want to do.

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Mike Burns blogs about living well and focusing on what’s most important at theothersideofcomplexity.com.  He has also written books about decluttering. You can connect with him on Twitter (@mikemikeburns) and Facebook (facebook.com/theothersideofcomplexity).

When Less Isn’t More | The Other Side Of Complexity

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Last Updated on February 15, 2019

Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

In Personal Development-speak, we are always talking about goals, outcomes, success, desires and dreams. In other words, all the stuff we want to do, achieve and create in our world.

And while it’s important for us to know what we want to achieve (our goal), it’s also important for us to understand why we want to achieve it; the reason behind the goal or some would say, our real goal.

Why is goal setting important?

1. Your needs and desire will be fulfilled.

Sometimes when we explore our “why”, (why we want to achieve a certain thing) we realize that our “what” (our goal) might not actually deliver us the thing (feeling, emotion, internal state) we’re really seeking.

For example, the person who has a goal to lose weight in the belief that weight loss will bring them happiness, security, fulfillment, attention, popularity and the partner of their dreams. In this instance, their “what” is weight-loss and their “why” is happiness (etc.) and a partner.

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Six months later, they have lost the weight (achieved their goal) but as is often the case, they’re not happier, not more secure, not more confident, not more fulfilled and in keeping with their miserable state, they have failed to attract their dream partner.

After all, who wants to be with someone who’s miserable? They achieved their practical goal but still failed to have their needs met.

So they set a goal to lose another ten pounds. And then another. And maybe just ten more. With the destructive and erroneous belief that if they can get thin enough, they’ll find their own personal nirvana. And we all know how that story ends.

2. You’ll find out what truly motivates you

The important thing in the process of constructing our best life is not necessarily what goals we set (what we think we want) but what motivates us towards those goals (what we really want).

The sooner we begin to explore, identify and understand what motivates us towards certain achievements, acquisitions or outcomes (that is, we begin moving towards greater consciousness and self awareness), the sooner we will make better decisions for our life, set more intelligent (and dare I say, enlightened) goals and experience more fulfilment and less frustration.

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We all know people who have achieved what they set out to, only to end up in the same place or worse (emotionally, psychologically, sociologically) because what they were chasing wasn’t really what they were needing.

What we think we want will rarely provide us with what we actually need.

3. Your state of mind will be a lot healthier

We all set specific goals to achieve/acquire certain things (a job, a car, a partner, a better body, a bank balance, a title, a victory) because at some level, most of us believe (consciously or not) that the achievement of those goals will bring us what we really seek; joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.

Of course, setting practical, material and financial goals is an intelligent thing to do considering the world we live in and how that world works.

But setting goals with an expectation that the achievement of certain things in our external, physical world will automatically create an internal state of peace, contentment, joy and total happiness is an unhealthy and unrealistic mindset to inhabit.

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What you truly want and need

Sometimes we need to look beyond the obvious (superficial) goals to discover and secure what we really want.

Sadly, we live in a collective mindset which teaches that the prettiest and the wealthiest are the most successful.

Some self-help frauds even teach this message. If you’re rich or pretty, you’re happy. If you’re both, you’re very happy. Pretty isn’t what we really want; it’s what we believe pretty will bring us. Same goes with money.

When we cut through the hype, the jargon and the self-help mumbo jumbo, we all have the same basic goals, desires and needs:

Joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.

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Nobody needs a mansion or a sport’s car but we all need love.

Nobody needs massive pecs, six percent body-fat, a face lift or bigger breasts but we all need connection, acceptance and understanding.

Nobody needs to be famous but we all need peace, calm, balance and happiness.

The problem is, we live in a culture which teaches that one equals the other. If only we lived in a culture which taught that real success is far more about what’s happening in our internal environment, than our external one.

It’s a commonly-held belief that we’re all very different and we all have different goals — whether short term or long term goals. But in many ways we’re not, and we don’t; we all want essentially the same things.

Now all you have to do is see past the fraud and deception and find the right path.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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