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Why You Should Do What You’ve Always Wanted to Do

Why You Should Do What You’ve Always Wanted to Do

You know what you’ve always wanted to do, BUT…

What is it with the rampant self-doubt?

You concoct so many reasons why you can’t or shouldn’t do what you want. No time, money, support, etc. Classes to take, kids to care for, relationships to tend to, and so on. There should be a diagnosis code for this. Call it self-doubt 101, something so many of us suffer from.

What is the possible treatment?

There’s going onto the therapists couch and analyzing who, what, when, and where. Then there’s taking a trip, running away, and trying to find the answers elsewhere. And let’s not forget, the way most of us treat our excuses about why we don’t do what we always wanted: you stuff it down to the back of your soul and plod on. Doing what you think you ‘should’ do.

Here is another option.

Take a look at some people that went ahead and did what they always wanted and succeeded. But not before they failed on an epic scale. So take that in, realize that you can choose to do what you always wanted to and get ready to take some huge falls.

After falling and floundering, getting doors slammed in your face, being called all kinds of names, and shouting back at the voices in your head that scream at you to stop, you WILL succeed – just like these famous people below that did what they always wanted to do.

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You are no different than they are.

stallone

    Sylvester Stallone had it rough as a child. He was taunted in school and in-and-out of foster homes. He was told, “You’re stupid lookin’ do somethin’ else.” His movies grossed over a billion dollars.

    What he wanted to do: Inspire people and act.

    einstein

      Albert Einstein didn’t speak until he was four, or read until he was seven years old. Everyone thought he was mentally handicapped and would not accomplish anything. He won a Nobel Prize and became the face of modern physics.

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      What he wanted to do: Study physics and change the world.

      thinker

        Rodin was considered the worst student in his school and was continually rejected when applying to art school. His father called him an ‘idiot.’ He ended up becoming a sculptor and famously created “The Thinker Statue.”

        What he wanted to do: Be an artist and sculptor.

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        elvis

          Elvis Presley was fired by the manager of the Grand Ole Opry after one performance. Presley was told, “You ain’t goin’ nowhere… son. You ought to go back to drivin’ a truck.”  What do you know, Elvis became the most popular singer in America.

          What he wanted to do: Sing and perform.

          churchill

            Winston Churchill failed 6th grade and lost every election for public office until he was 62-years-old. He went on to become Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. Among many other accomplishments, he renewed the world’s faith in the superiority of democracy.

            What he wanted to do: Serve his country.

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            disney

              Walt Disney went bankrupt and was fired by a news editor for ‘lack of imagination.’ He was the man who gave us Disney World and Mickey Mouse.

              What he wanted to do: Entertain people.

              It’s YOUR turn.

              What do you want to do? Imagine if these individuals above would have not felt they should do what they always wanted to do. We wouldn’t have Mickey Mouse! Or “Love me tender, love me sweet, never let me go” (Elvis). How about the Winston Churchill quote: “Never, never never give up? The theory of relativity.” How about Rocky – that movie inspired people all over the world to go for their dreams and never give up.

              You have something that you always wanted to do and we are waiting, the world is waiting. Even if it’s something you don’t think will be the next Thinker Statue, it will light your soul and everyone around you will be encouraged by you. This ripple effect can make a change for generations to come.

              Put the Rocky soundtrack on and run up and down the stairs and imagine what your life would be like if you were doing what you always wanted to do. Prepare for bumps and bruises, knowing that that’s part of the game of life. And in the end, you will be pumping your fist, standing tall and proud of living your life the way you want to. You’ll be using the gifts you have until you cannot squeeze another drop out. Then squeeze some more.

              Featured photo credit: Do What You Love via flickr.com

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              Esther Litchfield-Fink

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              Last Updated on November 19, 2020

              The Gentle Art of Saying No for a Less Stressful Life

              The Gentle Art of Saying No for a Less Stressful Life

              It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments—you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time. That’s why the art of saying no can be a game changer for productivity.

              Requests for your time are coming in all the time—from family members, friends, children, coworkers, etc. To stay productive, minimize stress, and avoid wasting time, you have to learn the gentle art of saying no—an art that many people have problems with.

              What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger, or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

              However, it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here’s how to stop people pleasing and master the gentle art of saying no.

              1. Value Your Time

              Know your commitments and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it.

              Be honest when you tell them that: “I just can’t right now. My plate is overloaded as it is.” They’ll sympathize as they likely have a lot going on as well, and they’ll respect your openness, honesty, and attention to self-care.

              2. Know Your Priorities

              Even if you do have some extra time (which, for many of us, is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time?

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              For example, if my wife asks me to pick up the kids from school a couple of extra days a week, I’ll likely try to make time for it as my family is my highest priority. However, if a coworker asks for help on some extra projects, I know that will mean less time with my wife and kids, so I will be more likely to say no. 

              However, for others, work is their priority, and helping on extra projects could mean the chance for a promotion or raise. It’s all about knowing your long-term goals and what you’ll need to say yes and no to in order to get there. 

              You can learn more about how to set your priorities here.

              3. Practice Saying No

              Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word[1].

              Sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.

              4. Don’t Apologize

              A common way to start out is “I’m sorry, but…” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important when you learn to say no, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm and unapologetic about guarding your time.

              When you say no, realize that you have nothing to feel bad about. You have every right to ensure you have time for the things that are important to you. 

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              5. Stop Being Nice

              Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. However, if you erect a wall or set boundaries, they will look for easier targets.

              Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.

              6. Say No to Your Boss

              Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss—they’re our boss, right? And if we start saying no, then we look like we can’t handle the work—at least, that’s the common reasoning[2].

              In fact, it’s the opposite—explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.

              7. Pre-Empting

              It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting,

              “Look, everyone, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects, and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”

              This, of course, takes a great deal of awareness that you’ll likely only have after having worked in one place or been friends with someone for a while. However, once you get the hang of it, it can be incredibly useful.

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              8. Get Back to You

              Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, try saying no this way:

              “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.”

              At least you gave it some consideration.

              9. Maybe Later

              If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say,

              “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].”

              Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands. If you need to continue saying no, here are some other ways to do so[3]:

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              Saying no the healthy way

                10. It’s Not You, It’s Me

                This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often, the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time.

                Simply say so—you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization—but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true, as people can sense insincerity.

                The Bottom Line

                Saying no isn’t an easy thing to do, but once you master it, you’ll find that you’re less stressed and more focused on the things that really matter to you. There’s no need to feel guilty about organizing your personal life and mental health in a way that feels good to you.

                Remember that when you learn to say no, isn’t about being mean. It’s about taking care of your time, energy, and sanity. Once you learn how to say no in a good way, people will respect your willingness to practice self-care and prioritization. 

                More Tips for a Less Stressful Life

                Featured photo credit: Kyle Glenn via unsplash.com

                Reference

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