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What Everyone Could Learn From Leonardo DiCaprio

What Everyone Could Learn From Leonardo DiCaprio

A collective sigh of sympathy went out to Leonardo DiCaprio when he failed yet again to win an Oscar for The Wolf of Wall Street. I was shaking my head in empathy. Hang on. Did I say empathy? Yes, I was reacting to what I thought he must be feeling. Okay, it’s not  easy to put myself in his shoes, much less see the world through his eyes, but you know what I mean.

We’ve all experienced a painful loss — a job promotion, admission to a dream university, a much needed scholarship, a financial investment or a lasting relationship. The big difference is Leonardo DiCaprio’s losses make headlines.

He most probably is disappointed over his latest Oscar miss. But I bet he is already moving on to his next project in film, philanthropy or environmental activism.

Skeptical? Let his words throughout his career support my bet, and let’s pick up lessons along the way too.

“My mom, Irmelin, taught me the value of life.  Her own life was saved by my grandmother during World War II.”

DiCaprio grew up with his mother who remained friends with his father after the couple divorced when Leo was a toddler. Both parents shared in his upbringing and encouraged creativity. His mother was born in Germany, moved to the U.S. in the 1950s and worked as a legal secretary. DiCarpio remains close to his mom. She was his “date” at Oscar night.

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Leo knows about valuing life. Dwelling on loss would be a waste of precious time. 

“Brothers don’t necessarily have to say anything to each other — they can sit in a room and be together and just be completely comfortable with each other.”

An only child, DiCaprio has a close friendship with fellow actor Tobey McGuire, which began when they were auditioning for the same child actor roles in the 1980s. He also keeps a regular close group of friends.

Leo’s enduring friendship with a professional rival shows no grudges over missed roles or awards.  Friendships and relationships carry more weight than personal loss.

“Don’t think for a moment that I’m really like any of the characters I’ve played.  I’m not.  That’s why it’s called acting.”

DiCaprio’s portrayals of fictional and real life characters are not easily forgotten. Frank Abagnale, Jr. (Catch Me if You Can) and Danny Archer (Blood Diamond) are, to me, the most poignant. He chooses film projects not by genre but based on how interesting the character is.

Leo has no attachments to roles or awards. Devastation over a loss comes mostly from a perceived attachment. 

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 “I’m not the kind of person who tries to be cool or trendy, I’m definitely an individual.”

A maverick is how he is described. While other leading men get comfortable working for years in an action franchise, DiCaprio does not mind doing supporting roles and is not afraid to play hateful protagonists and villains. He knows what moves him and does not go with the crowd.

Leo will not allow the Oscars to define who he is. Self-awareness keeps you centered in who you are.

“Drugs?  Everyone has a choice and I choose not to do drugs.”

DiCaprio has had his share of drinking and partying in the 1990’s but states he has never done drugs. Seeing drugs at an early age and growing up poor helped him make the decision not to go in that direction.

Leo used a difficult situation to make a wise choice. Wisdom comes from awareness, courage and commitment to a decision.

“I just really love doing what I do. I know every career is fleeting and there will be time periods when I don’t get the opportunities that I’m getting right now, so I’m taking advantage of them.”

DiCaprio is also a film producer and has worked with respected directors James Cameron, Steven Spielberg, Martin Scorsese and Quentin Tarantino.

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Leo understands the financial and creative aspects of the film industry. Losing an Oscar will not stop him from finding — or making — the next big opportunity. With purpose and ideas, a loss becomes irrelevant.

“I’m just starting to scratch the surface of what really makes me happy and it’s taken me a while to admit that acting like a little child and being a jerk and a punk is fun.”

These words may have come when DiCaprio was younger but it shows maturity — wanting to learn about himself, accepting his discoveries, and not taking himself too seriously. He has stayed connected with his parents and he has real friends to relax and act like a child with.

Leo has other pursuits beyond movie making, and losing an Oscar will not make a big dent in his life. Developing all areas of life enriches perspectives, making any loss purely incidental.

“You can either be a vain movie star, or you can try to shed some light on different aspects of the human condition.” (and) “Raising awareness on the most pressing environmental issues of our time is more important than ever.”

DiCaprio is among the first actors who has put fame to meaningful use by bringing public awareness to environmental and humanitarian concerns utilizing media projects, campaigns and grants. The Leonardo DiCaprio Foundation gave a US$3 million grant to Oceana, an advocacy group working for the world’s oceans.

Leo’s philanthropy and environmental activism seeks to positively affect large parts of the world population. Losing an Oscar is trivial. Being aware of a greater need makes you realize how much you actually have and cuts your disappointment down to size.

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What about his Oscar-losing streak?  Statistics-wise, a series of losses means he is close to winning.  But law of probabilities aside, the fact remains:  losing an Oscar is not an obstacle for Leonardo DiCaprio to continue living a highly successful and meaningful life.

So the next time you think “Poor Leo” (or the more common variation, “Poor Me”), think again.

Featured photo credit: Izzie August 344 via flickr.com

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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