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When You Stop Texting and Start Talking, These 10 Things Will Happen

When You Stop Texting and Start Talking, These 10 Things Will Happen

Remember when people owned black and white TVs? Bought soda for a nickel? Went for Sunday drives? Who would have thought face-to-face conversations would one day share the label “old school”? Here are 10 reasons you should keep practicing this largely abandoned art.

1. You’ll avoid accidental insults.

It’s hard to communicate clearly in writing. Body language and tone are valuable pieces to the puzzle. Face-to-face conversations make it easier for the listener to tell when you’re being sincere, or sarcastic, or cracking a joke.

2. You’ll feel more validated and understood.

Minimal encouragers are one way listeners can show they’re paying attention. These shorts sounds such as “hmm” and “I see” politely interrupt the person speaking and show we’re listening. That’s basically impossible in a text.

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Facial expressions are another way we validate people’s feelings. Some of this can be accomplished with emojis, but what about feelings like sympathy or attraction? The human face can express these better than a tiny cartoon.

3. You’ll connect more deeply by being more focused.

Meaningful conversations take time, thought, and complete sentences – all of which are rarely found in texting. By taking the time to focus on an in-person conversation, you’re giving a relationship the attention it deserves. You’re also more likely to venture into complex subjects you wouldn’t try to cover in a text. These subjects are often the ones where input is valuable, and talking about them builds trust.

4. You’ll get to hear laughter.

Laughter is contagious. And laughter is healthy. A study shows that “humor, with its associated mirthful laughter, can reduce stress and cortisol, a stress hormone.” Replacing a few LOLs with an old-fashioned chuckle is good for your body and your relationships.

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5. You’ll get to keep your conversations private.

Some people like to voice harsh opinions via text, but this is a big mistake because it creates a written record of your conversation. That may sound paranoid, but successful people know that putting criticism in writing is a recipe for disaster. Forwards and screenshots snatch your thoughts from their proper context, damaging your reputation and your relationships. Avoid unnecessary drama by talking in-person or at least making a phone call.

6. You’ll engage multiple senses, making conversations more memorable.

Text is visual, but talking is audible. Face-to-face conversations use more of your senses. And a study shows multisensory input “can stimulate and activate multiple sites in the brain, thereby increasing attention, processing, and retention of information.”

7. You’ll avoid getting sucked into the bottomless phone void.

Phones are giant attention traps. Check one text and you’ll soon be checking the rest. Then your emails, your push notifications, Facebook, and Instagram. By the time you’re done, you’ll have more texts to respond to.

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A 2014 study at Baylor University found that “women college students spend an average of 10 hours a day on their cellphones and men college students spend nearly eight…”

8. You’ll experience life more fully.

Texting makes you miss out on two moments – the moment in which you’re physically present and the moment you’re having with the person you’re texting. Give each moment the attention it deserves. When you try to do too much, you miss what’s happening right in front of you.

9. You’ll get immediate responses.

Texts can go unanswered for hours, even days. Face-to-face conversations offer much quicker responses. So when you’re talking about something meaningful, where you need answers, take the time to sit down face-to-face.

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10. You’ll be treated more fairly.

We’ve all heard the classic challenge, “Say that to my face.” It’s hard to disrespect someone who’s looking you in the eye. While some people rant and rave in a thoughtless text, they’re more likely to tone it down when talking to you in person, which means you might actually work out the conflict instead of trading verbal blows.

Bonus Reason: You’ll meet new people.

You don’t have to know someone to talk to them. In fact, this article suggests “people are happier after a conversation with a stranger.” Food for thought!

Featured photo credit: Beautiful young hipster woman using smart phone via shutterstock.com

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Kyle Young

Operations Manager, GoinsWriter

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

Perceptual Barrier

The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

Attitudinal Barrier

Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

Language Barrier

This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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Emotional Barrier

Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

Cultural Barrier

Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

Gender Barrier

Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

Reference

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