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This Is How You Become Unattractive And You’re Not Aware of It

This Is How You Become Unattractive And You’re Not Aware of It

Everyone strives to be a great person, kind, caring, and compassionate. But for some people, that’s not always the case. There are many behaviors or ‘bad habits’ that people have that make them seem unattractive, annoying, or someone that no one wants to be around with. A few of these harmful characteristics are offered for you below, and if you happen to realize that you embody any of them – quit! You might find your circle of friends grow once you do.

1. You are Self-Absorbed

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    Many people do this without realizing it. You focus solely on yourself, talk only about yourself, and often don’t care what others around you have to say. You think you’re the only one that matters. If this is you, it’s time to change. No one wants to be friend with someone who only cares about themselves.

    2. You Focus on Outer Beauty, Ignoring What’s Inside

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      Surprisingly, true beauty comes from within your heart, body, and soul. Your physical appearance isn’t something that matters the most, but people with unattractive behaviors think that outer beauty is all that matters. Take a look in the mirror – deep within yourself – and you might see what lies beneath. An ugly person. Unless you change your way of thinking.

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      3. You are Always in Competition

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        Are you the person who has to be better than everyone else, see more, do more? If so, you’re an unattractive person. You should care more about your friends, and let them have their moment. If they overcame their fear of heights and climbed 10 feet in the air, don’t say, “That’s all? I’ve climbed 30 feet!” Instead say, “Wow! That’s awesome. I’m really proud of you.”

        4. You View Your Friends as Enemies

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          People who are seen as unattractive are often in fights with their friends. Instead of banning together and truly being able to care for others, you’re always turning your back, and stabbing them in theirs. Your friends are not your enemies. They are your allies.

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          5. You Question Your Importance to Others

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            You are definitely an unattractive person when you constantly question why others don’t see you as important as you think they should. For instance, your two friends went somewhere without you – it doesn’t matter to them – but to you it does. Get over it. They’re still your friend, and their lives don’t stop when you’re not around.

            6. You are the Boss

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              In a group of friends, everyone should be on an equal playing field. If you’re the one always making decisions, constantly needing to be in charge, or trying to control what others are doing, you’re acting in an unattractive way.

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              7. You are Dishonest

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                When it comes to being a great friend, or someone whom others want to be around, you need to be honest. Many people who partake in ugly behaviors are often dishonest, lying about everything, inquiring about every question asked about them, and how they truly feel about different things. Yes, honesty is the best policy.

                8. You are Rude

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                  If you’re the person that’s frequently impolite, offensive, or embarrassing your friends with your rude comments in public – quit. You’re not someone people would want to be around. There are going to be times when you don’t agree with someone, or see something you didn’t want to see, but there’s no point in making a scene, because you’re making everyone look at your terrible behavior and they’re not seeing what you’re seeing.

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                  9. You are Unreliable, Yet Dependent Upon Others

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                    Are you there when your friends call for help? Or are you always busy when someone needs you? If you’re the person no one can count on, that’s an unattractive quality in friendships. Similarly, if you’re the one always calling for help from others, yet never offering yours when they need it, that’s another unattractive quality that no one wants in a friend.

                    10. You are Always Negative

                    Pessimism is not an attractive quality. If you’re constantly putting things down, or seeing situations in a negative light, try and change your attitude. Nobody wants to be friends with someone who’s constantly seeing the negative instead of the positive.

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                      Featured photo credit: Ouch via Shots of Insight

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                      Published on October 7, 2019

                      4 Types of Toxic People and How to Deal with Them

                      4 Types of Toxic People and How to Deal with Them

                      Can a person really be toxic? Well, a toxic person does not refer to those who are affected by the virus or toxic. To be precise, toxic people are those who are very unsupportive, abusive and unhealthy in nature. Their behavior is filled with venom and you will not feel any sort of gentle breeze in their words.

                      In this article, you will learn how to spot out a toxic person, and what you can do to deal with them.

                      Signs of Toxic People

                      To make it more obvious, I have added some signs of toxic people below.

                      Manipulative Behavior And Fabricated Mind

                      Toxic people are unable to deal with the bitter truth firmly. If you are going to blurt out their fabrications with proof, they will try to change the whole matter with their manipulative behavior. They will titillate you with sensitive words or they will try to frighten you to get rid of the problems.

                      Inhuman And Merciless in Nature

                      We know that sharing our thoughts with friends will keep us in good mental state. But, if you are not getting fruitful outcomes, you have to understand that you are spending time with toxic friends.

                      Toxic people do not know how to put themselves in other’s shoes. They just put on a mask of simplicity. But, in reality, they don’t have feelings for you. Therefore, you should stop sharing your valuable time with them as you will get nothing except annoyance and silence.

                      Hypocrisy at Its Best in Their Nature

                      Toxic people have a great hunger for respect, adoration, and fidelity. After dignifying them with these valuable elements, you will get nothing; you will be cheated, manipulated and criticized by them. And, if you are not willing to listen to them, you will be controlled by guilt-tripping.

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                      Emotional Outburst And Pathological Excuses

                      Toxic people always want to see themselves in the positive end. Therefore, to get their job done, they always have an emotional outburst and emotional excuse to make an impulsive impression upon you.

                      We do mistakes and it is our duty to accept those mistakes. But, toxic people have their own rules, they have a tendency to present themselves rationally even after committing a mistake. If someone tries to expose themselves with facts, they show no embarrassment and use emotional excuses as a shield.

                      Play with Your Emotion And Gradually Erode It

                      Toxic people always try to condescend you with critical jokes and when you try to elicit your thoughts, they just burst out laughing. Teasing becomes an important element in your relationship with toxic person. They even give you backhanded compliments to belittle you.

                      Thus, using their toxic mindset, they just gradually diminish your abilities as well as intelligence. And you will have nothing left in your hand other than putting up with these things to maintain the silence.

                      Well, you probably might have not seen all these signs in one person as there are different types of toxic people roaming around you.

                      4 Types of Toxic People

                      To understand it better, I’m mentioning the different types of toxic people here.

                      1. Conversational Narcissist

                      There are some toxic people who do not know how to give importance to others. They will talk about themselves but never ask you about your condition; they will only recall you when they need you or they are facing some sort of problems.

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                      2. Emotional Vampires

                      These vampires do not suck your blood but dissipate your emotion. They always talk negatively about everyone and compel you to think in the same pattern that they follow. They mask themselves in such a way in front of you that you gradually start giving importance to them. But, ultimately, you will not get any positive outcome from them.

                      3. Monsters with Green eyes

                      As discussed earlier, toxic people will give you backhanded compliments. Basically, these are called monsters with green eyes. These monsters feel happy when you feel sad. Therefore, they will always try to belittle your achievements, intelligence, and strengths. Along with it, they give compliments with some negativity in it.

                      4. Black-Eyed Cats

                      These cats always do mew-mew and try to control everything around them. They love to be pampered but, they do not like if someone goes against them.

                      If you are in a relationship with such persons, you will be nagged until you are giving them complete satisfaction. In a nutshell, it must be said that you have to align yourself with them if you want to live with them. But, ultimately, you will lose your mental, conversational and emotional freedom.

                      How to Deal with Toxic People

                      Living with problems is more convenient than living with toxic people. But, toxic people are parasites and therefore, you will see these monsters rambling around you wherever you go.

                      However, if you know how to deal with them, it would be very helpful for you and your life would be much easier to live. We have added some tips to assist you, just check these out.

                      Get Rid of Intermittent Reinforcement

                      We are very optimistic in nature and over the time, this optimism has reached to such a level that we can happily put up with the ‘close losses’ instead of trying to catch the ‘near wins’.

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                      B.F Skinner once did an experiment with three rats. He put them in different cages attached with levers. The lever delivered food when it was pressed. In the 1st cage, the lever always delivered food when the rat pressed it. In case of the 2nd cage, food was never delivered by the lever even after pressing it, therefore, the rat understood the lesson and never tried to get food. But, in the third cage, the lever delivered food randomly and as a result, the rat was completely hooked and fixated. He constantly pushed it but didn’t get the food always.

                      Well, this is called intermittent relationship and the same thing happens in human relationships where toxic people give you intermittent reinforcement and your heart gets pumped up with optimism. As a result, you will be hooked and your life will be fixated at some point with toxic people.

                      You should learn to move on without them and live your life happily because random happiness cannot bring permanent relief.

                      Never Make Too Many Allowances And Pardons

                      Well, sympathetic attitude is very good and it is also a fact that sometimes toxic people suffer from genuine depression, physical as well as mental illness. But, you have to set a boundary and you cannot allow people to get away with anything so easily.

                      If you make too many allowances as well as pardons, it would not be good for you in the long-term. Yes, there are some people who are facing extreme hardships and they are not even toxic in nature. But, all you can do is show some genuine compassion keeping yourself within the boundaries.

                      Always Try to Ignore Their Toxic Traps

                      Demotivational words are the primary weapon that they frequently use in their implications to detract you. Along with this, they throw words in such a way that you start feeling guilty. Well, you must understand that these are just toxic traps and you should not step on it.

                      Always remember that you will have full access to freedom if you stop taking things personally. They not only do this with you but also with everyone. You just have to keep in mind that these toxic words are not based on truth but on their own mental reproduction. So, you just have to ignore this and focus on your work.

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                      Show Them Your Beautiful Smile Not the Curves on Your Forehead

                      Toxic people have an aptitude to attack mentally, mock disgracefully and diminish shamefully. But, you will not be affected if you don’t surrender yourself. Show them that you are not getting belittled or insulted.

                      We all have our problems and we also know that we are capable of solving these problems. Therefore, the matter entirely depends upon us and if we don’t allow these vampires to enter into our life or play with our emotions, they cannot suck our happiness. So, I’d suggest you show your beautiful smile when they buzz around you.

                      Don’t Suppress Yourself

                      Toxic people will intimidate, bully, pass guilt, and forcefully take money from you to get their job done. They know very well that they are doing wrong and at the same time, they are acquainted with the concept that we are incapable of doing anything against them.

                      Most of the time, we keep ourselves quiet until someone speaks up. And because of this suppressive mindset, we are gradually being dragged into their mind games.

                      Well, we have to change this concept as it infuses courage into them. We need to obstruct them with firm minds and make them realize the negative consequences of their behavior.[1] If they are upsetting you, just tell them directly. Your direct statement might open a new gate of opportunity that will allow you to help them if they are suffering from genuine problems.

                      So, why are you still tolerating these toxic people? Follow the tips mentioned above and deal with them in the right way.

                      Featured photo credit: Devin Avery via unsplash.com

                      Reference

                      [1] Tips for Grooming: Change Your Fixed Negative Belief

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