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These 10 Simple Things You Do Are Making Your Marriage Last, Even Though You’re Not Aware Of It

These 10 Simple Things You Do Are Making Your Marriage Last, Even Though You’re Not Aware Of It

A happy, healthy, and lasting marriage is the goal of every couple. We have all heard that half of all marriages end in divorce, and nobody wants their marriage to be another statistic. But take heart! It’s probable that many of the small daily things that you’re already doing are helping strengthen your marital bond. So don’t take these activities for granted, because they are ensuring that your relationship remains satisfying for the long haul. Here are the main ways you’re already putting your marriage first.

1. You kiss.

More frequent kissing has been linked to increased relationship satisfaction, particularly for women in long-term relationships. So make sure you kiss hello, goodbye, and a few other times each day for good measure. Not only does kissing have emotional benefits, it even improves immunity and physical health!

2. You express gratitude.

Couples who express appreciation reciprocally are less likely to break up, according to relationship researchers. So make sure to let your husband know how much you appreciate him mowing the lawn, or let your wife know how happy you are with the way she keeps track of all the kids’ activities.

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3. You touch each other.

Marital satisfaction isn’t linked with how often you touch, but how reciprocal the touch is. This means, when your spouse touches your arm, do you respond by touching their arm, hugging them, or moving your body next to theirs? Hopefully so, because this is correlated with increased marital happiness.

4. You talk.

A study of 1,000 married Americans found that having 10 emotionally meaningful conversations a month is linked with marital satisfaction. This doesn’t mean just checking in about how the kids are doing at school. Why not try asking some questions that you don’t know the answer to, like when your partner’s first kiss was, or what they wanted to be when they grew up when they were a child, or when the first moment was that they knew they loved you.

5. You go on date nights.

According to research, one way that date night helps your marriage is that you’re experiencing something new and different with your spouse. Couples who engage in a range of new and exciting activities report higher marital satisfaction than those who do the same old activities all the time. When you engage in something new, your brain releases more dopamine and norepinephine, which is the same thing that happens at the start of a new romantic relationship. So, you’ll feel like you’re in the honeymoon phase again, and who doesn’t want that?

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6. You fight.

Fighting can be cathartic, and is a good way to get issues out on the table where they can be examined and discussed productively. As long as you resolve your fights, you can count arguing as a way you may actually be helping your marriage.

7. You plan things.

Whether vacations, dinners out, having friends over, or anything else, having events to look forward to is a great thing for your marriage. Your anticipation can build together, and you have something fun to talk about besides the mundane minutiae of house and kids.

8. You do nice things.

Research shows that, in order to have a happy marriage, you must do five positive things to balance out every negative thing you do. These can be as small as putting a note in your wife’s lunchbag, or making sure to make your husband’s favorite dessert. Anything that shows that you really care and are taking time out of your day to acknowledge your partner’s needs and wants.

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9.  You laugh.

Couples who use humor have happier marriages than those who don’t. Humor can defuse stressful situations and allow a couple to feel close even during times of tension. Laughing together can make you feel connected even during conflict.

10. You grow together.

When one partner takes up a new interest, the other is not only supportive, but becomes interested as well. This growing and sharing has been shown to be linked to happy and long-lasting marriages. So when your partner finds a new TV show they really like, why not try it and see if you get hooked too?

If you’re already doing these things, pat yourself on the back for keeping your marriage alive and happy. And if you’re not doing them, what better time to start than now?

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Featured photo credit: Indiscreet camera via mrg.bz

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Last Updated on June 23, 2019

20 Things People Regret the Most Before They Die

20 Things People Regret the Most Before They Die

Close your eyes and imagine that you’re at your own funeral—a bit morbid I know, but there’s a reason for it. Now think about what you’d like people to say about you. What kind of a life do you want to lead? People die with all kinds of regrets. Don’t be one of them.

1. I wish I’d cared less about what other people think.

It’s only when you realise how little other people are really thinking of you (in a negative sense) that you realise how much time you spent caring and wasting energy worrying about this.

2. I wish I had accomplished more.

You don’t have to have won an Oscar, built up a business or run a marathon, but having small personal accomplishments is important.

3. I wish I had told __ how I truly felt.

Even if the “one” doesn’t exist, telling someone how you truly feel will always save you from that gut wrenching”but what if…” feeling that could linger for life if you stay quiet.

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4. I wish I had stood up for myself more.

Sometimes, it’s too easy to think that if you go all out to please everyone you’ll be liked more or your partner won’t run off with anyone else. I think age probably teaches us to be nice but not at the expense of our own happiness.

5. I wish I had followed my passion in life.

It’s so easy to be seduced by a stable salary, a solid routine and a comfortable life, but at what expense?

6. I wish our last conversation hadn’t been an argument.

Life is short, and you never really know when the last time you speak to someone you love will be. It’s these moments that really stay clear in peoples’ minds.

7. I wish I had let my children grow up to be who they wanted to be.

The realisation that love, compassion and empathy are so much more important than clashes in values or belief systems can hit home hard.

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8. I wish I had lived more in the moment.

Watching children grow up makes you realise how short-lived and precious time really is, and as we age, many of us live less and less in the present.

9. I wish I had worked less.

There’s always a desire to have loosened up a bit more with this one and the realisation that financial success or career accomplishment doesn’t necessarily equal a fulfilled life.

10. I wish I had traveled more.

It can be done at any age, with kids or not but many talk themselves out of it for all kinds of reasons such as lack of money, mortgage, children, etc. When there’s a regret, you know it could have been possible at some stage.

11. I wish I had trusted my gut rather than listening to everyone else.

Making your own decisions and feeling confident in the decisions you make gives us fulfilment and joy from life. Going against your gut only breeds resentment and bitterness.

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12. I wish I’d taken better care of myself.

Premature health problems or ageing always makes you wonder if you’d eaten healthier, exercised more and been less stressed, would you be where you are today?

13. I wish I’d taken more risks.

Everyone has their own idea of what’s risky, but you know when you’re living too much in your comfort zone. In hindsight, some people feel they missed out on a lot of adventure life has to offer.

14. I wish I’d had more time.

Many people say time speeds up as we age. The six weeks of summer holidays we had as kids certainly seemed to last a lifetime. If time speeds up, then it’s even more important to make the most of every moment.

15. I wish I hadn’t worried so much.

If you’ve ever kept a diary and looked back, you’ll probably wonder why you ever got so worked up over X.

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16. I wish I’d appreciated ___ more.

The consequences of taking people for granted are always hard to deal with.

17. I wish I’d spent more time with my family.

Some people get caught up with work, move to other parts of the world, grow old with grudges against family members only to realise their priorities were in the wrong place.

18. I wish I hadn’t taken myself so seriously.

Life is just more fun when you can laugh at yourself.

19. I wish I’d done more for other people.

Doing things for others just makes life more meaningful.

20. I wish I could have felt happier.

The realisation that happiness is a state of mind that you can control sometimes doesn’t occur to people until it’s too late.

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