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The Unwritten (Now Written) Golden Rules of Friendship

The Unwritten (Now Written) Golden Rules of Friendship

A best friend is someone you’re not only going to love all your life, they are also your biggest critic and strongest supporter. They are your late-night mentors, daylight umbrellas, and midday co-conspirators. Not only do best friends adore you, they also make it a point to let the world know that they do. You feel secure with them, but more importantly being vulnerable never felt as comfortable as it does when you’re with them.

Best friends calm your deepest fears and tickle all your funny bones. They are truly a blessing you stumbled upon and here are some unwritten rules of friendship that every best friend follows! So grab your best friend and be ready to grin in merry excitement as you guys check off these rules together!

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The 40 Golden Rules of Friendship

  1. They’re always there for support.
    • They point out your mistakes truthfully.
    • They care about you but don’t smother you.
    • They don’t try to escape when things get hard, instead they become your pillar and help you find a way through the mess.
    • They can’t bear to see you cry and they know your quick fixes.
      • They help you stare down that creepy person at the bar.
        • They listen to you repeat the same story over and overand still have the patience to advise you.
        • They’ve seen you at your worst and your best and yet they love you unconditionally.
          • They aren’t afraid of your crazy moods and ideas. (Or lack thereof!)
          • They know all your cues so you don’t have to bother explaining it to them yet again.
          • They don’t shy away from tough love.
          • They are brutally honest yet heart-wrenchingly warm.
          • They tell you when you’re being unreasonable and yet stand with you even if they don’t agree with you.
          • They are your partners in crime and behind-the-screen directors to your crazies.
            • They help you succeed and celebrate your successes and/or the lessons you learn from your failures.
            • They know how to make you smile and don’t mind being judged while doing so.
              • They notice every change about you—the haircut, the new color, the goatee—and report it to you with a prompt, sassy response.
              • They are your go-to guy when nothing is right and your first call when everything is right.
                • They make you laugh hysterically especially at all the wrong moments.
                • They know all your evil plans and are often your right-hand guys.
                  • They are always there to give you advice, ice cream or a beer.
                  • They are your biggest advocates and loudest fans.
                    • They are your travel buddies and even your yoga buddies.
                    • They are your personal movie critics and can often tell whether or not you’ll like the movie.
                    • They never try to change you, even early in the morning when you look or behave like The Hulk on a diet.
                      • They encourage all your dreams and aspirations and fend off those who don’t.
                      • They are always a phone call away no matter how far apart you are in person.
                        • They laugh with you and at you, but glare at anyone else who does.
                        • They help you pick out hideous Halloween costumes just so they can laugh at you.
                          • They can tell your mood just by the way you text.
                          • They accept your differences graciously but only after laughing at them first.
                          • They are invariably a part of at least 75% of the selfies you take.
                            • They are your personal photographers armed with iPhones and maybe even a DSLR.
                            • They are ever-ready for an adventure with you, no matter how crazy or scary or boring. (But can adventures ever be boring with your friends?)
                              • They are your excuse when you get busted.
                              • They listen to you—truly, deeply and fully.
                              • They can talk to you about anything, and can often recite how many time you did that thing you regretted the minute after you did it.
                                • They are fiercely loyal.
                                • Silences aren’t awkward with them, most conversations, by conventional standards, are.
                                • They become your chosen family, and more importantly, they do so willingly.

                                Featured photo credit: Lara Cores via flickr.com

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                                Sanah Rizvi

                                Sanah is an influential public speaker and a devoted advocator of female rights.

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                                Last Updated on October 16, 2019

                                5 Powerful Ways for Building Fulfilling Relationships

                                5 Powerful Ways for Building Fulfilling Relationships

                                We all have relationships. We have acquaintances, relatives, colleagues, neighbors and friends. However, for a large percentage of us, many of these relationships are not fulfilling.

                                They are unfulfilling because they lack real strength; and they lack real strength because they lack real depth.

                                Unfortunately, in today’s society, we tend to have shallow, superficial relationships with others, and it’s extremely hard for this kind of relationships to provide anything more than faint satisfaction.

                                I’d like to show you, based on my experience as a communication and confidence coach, how you can add a significant amount of depth, and thus strength, to your relationships and make your social life a whole lot more meaningful.

                                Here’re 5 simple yet powerful ways for meaningful relationships building:

                                1. Meet More People

                                This is an apparent paradox, but the quality of the people you meet has considerably to do with the quantity of people you meet.

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                                If you don’t know a lot of people and you barely meet one or two new people every season of the year, considering the variety of individuals out there, you won’t meet very often people who are a good match with you in terms of personality, interests and values.

                                And since this natural match plays a huge part in building strong relationships, you’ll just as seldom have the opportunity to develop strong relationships.

                                Conversely, if you go out a lot, you meet a lot of new people and you constantly expand your social circle, you’re much more likely to meet people you match up well with, and these people have a tremendous potential to become good friends, reliable partners, etc.

                                This is why it’s important to meet more people.

                                2. Talk about the Things That Matter To You

                                A relationship becomes the strongest when two people discover they believe in the same things and have similar interests. It’s these commonalities regarding values and interests that create the strongest emotional connection.

                                I’ve noticed that many people keep conversations shallow. They talk about trivial stuff such as the weather, what’s on TV, the lives of various movie stars, but they rarely talk about what really matters to them in life. This is a mistake from my perspective, because it’s the perfect method for a relationship to not develop.

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                                Talk about the things that truly matter to you and give others a chance to know what you care about and what you believe in. If they believe in the same things and they care about the same things, they’ll eagerly let you know. Thus you’ll find meaningful common ground and you’ll feel more connected.

                                3. Express Vulnerability

                                Many people try to come off as perfect. They don’t talk about their failures, they hide their shortcomings and they never say anything that could embarrass them.

                                This is all just a facade though. You may appear perfect to some, but you know you’re not perfect and they know that too. You’re only human and humans have flaws.

                                However, by hiding your flaws, what you do succeed in is appearing cold and impersonal. You seem like a marble statue rather than a real person. And this makes it very hard for anyone to connect with you emotionally.

                                Humans connect with other humans, not with ideals. Keep this in mind and don’t be afraid to let your vulnerability and your humanity show. This is what takes a relationship to the next level.

                                Take a look at this article and find out Why Showing Vulnerability Actually Proves Your Strength.

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                                4. Have Integrity

                                Integrity, as I see it, is the alignment between your thoughts, your words and your actions. When you say what you think and you do what you said you’ll do, you have integrity.

                                This is a crucial trait because if you have integrity, people can trust you. They can trust you to give them an honest feedback, even when it’s hard to shallow, and they can trust you to keep your promises.

                                This trust is one of the central pillars of a strong relationship, both in your personal and your professional life. So, as challenging as it can be sometimes, always try to have integrity.

                                Be honest with the people around you, even when this will initially hurt them. It’s more important for them to trust you than to not feel hurt. And always do what you promised. Even better, think twice before you promise anything, and only promise what you really can and you are willing to do.

                                5. Be There for Others

                                Another central pillar of strong relationships is support. Connections between people grow sturdy if they can rely on each other for support when it’s needed, whether that support means a few kind words or several massive actions.

                                Of course, you can’t be there for everybody, all the time. Your time, energy and other resources are limited. But what you can do is identify the genuinely important people in your life and then seek to be there as much as possible, at least for them.

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                                Your support will help them practically, and it will comfort them emotionally; which makes one hell of a difference in a relationship.

                                The Bottom Line

                                With the right mindset and the right behavior, you can strengthen a wide range of relationships in your life and advance them as far as they can be advanced.

                                And with strong relationships, not only that you feel more fulfilled, but you feel more connected to the entire world. You feel that your life has real value, you have more fun and you live in the moment. An entire world of opportunities opens up in front of you.

                                Then your task is to simply walk through the open doors.

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                                Featured photo credit: Proxyclick Visitor Management System via unsplash.com

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