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The Simplest Ways To Look Good Without Changing Your Appearance

The Simplest Ways To Look Good Without Changing Your Appearance

Looking healthy and being in great shape is important. As a fitness professional myself, I can’t stress enough the benefits of exercising and how it benefits all facets of our life.

But, your appearance isn’t the only metric that matters in this world. Looks don’t last forever, they fade over time.

Having a superficial mindset limits you on the great people you can meet in this world. A healthy look is important, but displaying great character and personality is most important.

Great character and personality isn’t defined by how much you deadlift, how much you weigh, or how much money you have. You can look good while adding value to your character and personality by improving on these areas below:

1. Be your own person

Do you sacrifice your identity to fit in with the mainstream? Do you get uncomfortable going against the majority? Are you a sheep who blends in with the flock?  Or, are you a wolf, who stands out from the pack?

Being yourself is about having your own ideas, opinions, and thoughts.  Don’t be afraid to follow your dreams and hobbies, regardless of what everyone else thinks.

No need to put a mask on and be someone else.

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2. Be 100 percent independent

We rely on others for support and decision making too often. Putting your happiness, along with other facets of life, in the hands of others in hopes of discovering fulfillment is a terrible idea.

It’s up to you and only you to discover fulfillment and happiness. Take responsibility for your life and make decisions without relying on someone else.

Free yourself from hanging in the birdcage.

3. Be positive

No one wants to hang out with a negative Nancy. Being negative brings no value to your life.

Stressful events will occur, but you can control how you respond to those stressful situations. Will you be negative (the easy way out) or will you find the silver lining?

Positive people attract other positive people. You are the company that you keep.

4. Be confident

“You’re awesome”. I wake up every morning, telling myself this in the mirror as I prepare to tackle the world.

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Not to be narcissistic, but to remind myself that I’m good enough and deserve good things. It’s easy to fall into the trap of seeing what everyone else is doing, then feeling inadequate afterwards.

Whether it’s fitness and being lean enough; climbing the corporate ladder; working on your new business or going after that girl, who you fear is out of your league.

Take a step back from this noisy world, and choose yourself. Remember, you’re good enough already. Keep your chin up, shoulder back, and walk like the superstar you are.

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    Follow your own path, it’s more than good enough

    5. Be comfortable without the spotlight

    It’s not always going to be about you. The sooner you realize this, the better your life is going to get.

    People who are comfortable with themselves don’t need constant attention in order to feel wanted. You become much more beautiful to the world when you quit seeking validation from the world.

    Your approval is the only jury.

    6. Be kind

    At times, we’re stressed, frustrated, confused, annoyed, and mad at various things in life. We take our frustrations out on the world. Admit it, you’ve taken to social media to share a nasty opinion on something that made you mad.

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    You’ve treated a stranger like dog poo because you were having a bad day and got stuck in traffic.

    Who wants to hang out with people who are ugly, selfish, and treats others less than human? Practice compassion and sympathy, instead of reacting negatively to situations or talking about someone.

    7. Be passionate about something(anything!)

    It’s sad to meet people who are going through the motions of life without anything that is getting them excited.

    Passion is an attribute that everyone finds sexy and magnetic.  Passionate people have energy and enthusiasm that rubs off on anyone they run into. Everyone wants to be around passionate people.

    It doesn’t matter what you’re passionate about, it matters that you’re doing something about it.

    8. Be bold and adventurous

    Don’t be that person whose full of regret. If only they did ‘this & that’, then life would be this way. There’s people who dream and take action. However, there’s people who dream and keep dreaming, failing to take action. We call those people pretenders.

    The most attractive people in this world are those who understand life is about exploration and self-discovery. Staying within our comfort zones is not an option.

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    People who continue to improve themselves and take chances are more attractive than those who sit back and wish for everything.

    9. Be decisive and act with intention

    Knowing what you want out of life and taking action towards it are qualities that will increase anyone’s attractiveness. Being hesitant, timid, and afraid to take action are qualities of people who are insecure.

    Decide what you want and go after it with relentlessness. Acting with intention shows you have purpose and confidence, which anyone of quality will find irresistible.

    10. Practice gratitude

    “Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.”  Ralph Waldo Emerson

    It’s easy to forget the simple things in life and take for granted things such as: breathing, health, friends, music, knowledge, freedom, food, and many others.

    We become pre-occupied with our daily struggles and focus on what we don’t have, that we forget to give thanks to what we already have.

    People who are grateful for what they have are happier and more attractive, since it’s not always about adding superficial items and keeping up with the Jones’s.

     

    What are some other ways to look good without focusing on appearance? Comment below, I’ll love to hear some other responses I left out.

    More by this author

    Julian Hayes II

    Author, Health & Fitness Coach for Entrepreneurs, & Speaker

    18 Basic Rules To Lead A Fulfilling Life Starting Today, Stop These 6 Things to Become the Best Version of Yourself 5 Fun Ways to Transform Your Body And Health When You Don’t Feel Like Going to the Gym 4 Common Reasons Why You Fall Short With Your Weight Loss Goals (And What You Should Do Instead) 7 (Surprising) Actions to Take For Guaranteed Fat Loss

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    Last Updated on May 21, 2019

    How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

    How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

    For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

    If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

    Example 1

    You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

    You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

    In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

    Example 2

    You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

    People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

    You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

    Example 3

    You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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    The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

    Example 4

    You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

    Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

    If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

    Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

    • Understand your own communication style
    • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
    • Communicate with precision and care
    • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

    1. Understand Your Communication Style

    To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

    In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

    Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

    2. Learn Others Communication Styles

    Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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    If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

    “How do you prefer to receive information?”

    This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

    To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

    3. Exercise Precision and Care

    A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

    On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

    Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

    I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

    I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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    In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

    The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

    Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

    4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

    Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

    In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

    “Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

    Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

    Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

    It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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    It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

    It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

    Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

    Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

    The Bottom Line

    When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

    I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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    Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

    Reference

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