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The Simplest Ways To Look Good Without Changing Your Appearance

The Simplest Ways To Look Good Without Changing Your Appearance

Looking healthy and being in great shape is important. As a fitness professional myself, I can’t stress enough the benefits of exercising and how it benefits all facets of our life.

But, your appearance isn’t the only metric that matters in this world. Looks don’t last forever, they fade over time.

Having a superficial mindset limits you on the great people you can meet in this world. A healthy look is important, but displaying great character and personality is most important.

Great character and personality isn’t defined by how much you deadlift, how much you weigh, or how much money you have. You can look good while adding value to your character and personality by improving on these areas below:

1. Be your own person

Do you sacrifice your identity to fit in with the mainstream? Do you get uncomfortable going against the majority? Are you a sheep who blends in with the flock?  Or, are you a wolf, who stands out from the pack?

Being yourself is about having your own ideas, opinions, and thoughts.  Don’t be afraid to follow your dreams and hobbies, regardless of what everyone else thinks.

No need to put a mask on and be someone else.

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2. Be 100 percent independent

We rely on others for support and decision making too often. Putting your happiness, along with other facets of life, in the hands of others in hopes of discovering fulfillment is a terrible idea.

It’s up to you and only you to discover fulfillment and happiness. Take responsibility for your life and make decisions without relying on someone else.

Free yourself from hanging in the birdcage.

3. Be positive

No one wants to hang out with a negative Nancy. Being negative brings no value to your life.

Stressful events will occur, but you can control how you respond to those stressful situations. Will you be negative (the easy way out) or will you find the silver lining?

Positive people attract other positive people. You are the company that you keep.

4. Be confident

“You’re awesome”. I wake up every morning, telling myself this in the mirror as I prepare to tackle the world.

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Not to be narcissistic, but to remind myself that I’m good enough and deserve good things. It’s easy to fall into the trap of seeing what everyone else is doing, then feeling inadequate afterwards.

Whether it’s fitness and being lean enough; climbing the corporate ladder; working on your new business or going after that girl, who you fear is out of your league.

Take a step back from this noisy world, and choose yourself. Remember, you’re good enough already. Keep your chin up, shoulder back, and walk like the superstar you are.

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    Follow your own path, it’s more than good enough

    5. Be comfortable without the spotlight

    It’s not always going to be about you. The sooner you realize this, the better your life is going to get.

    People who are comfortable with themselves don’t need constant attention in order to feel wanted. You become much more beautiful to the world when you quit seeking validation from the world.

    Your approval is the only jury.

    6. Be kind

    At times, we’re stressed, frustrated, confused, annoyed, and mad at various things in life. We take our frustrations out on the world. Admit it, you’ve taken to social media to share a nasty opinion on something that made you mad.

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    You’ve treated a stranger like dog poo because you were having a bad day and got stuck in traffic.

    Who wants to hang out with people who are ugly, selfish, and treats others less than human? Practice compassion and sympathy, instead of reacting negatively to situations or talking about someone.

    7. Be passionate about something(anything!)

    It’s sad to meet people who are going through the motions of life without anything that is getting them excited.

    Passion is an attribute that everyone finds sexy and magnetic.  Passionate people have energy and enthusiasm that rubs off on anyone they run into. Everyone wants to be around passionate people.

    It doesn’t matter what you’re passionate about, it matters that you’re doing something about it.

    8. Be bold and adventurous

    Don’t be that person whose full of regret. If only they did ‘this & that’, then life would be this way. There’s people who dream and take action. However, there’s people who dream and keep dreaming, failing to take action. We call those people pretenders.

    The most attractive people in this world are those who understand life is about exploration and self-discovery. Staying within our comfort zones is not an option.

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    People who continue to improve themselves and take chances are more attractive than those who sit back and wish for everything.

    9. Be decisive and act with intention

    Knowing what you want out of life and taking action towards it are qualities that will increase anyone’s attractiveness. Being hesitant, timid, and afraid to take action are qualities of people who are insecure.

    Decide what you want and go after it with relentlessness. Acting with intention shows you have purpose and confidence, which anyone of quality will find irresistible.

    10. Practice gratitude

    “Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.”  Ralph Waldo Emerson

    It’s easy to forget the simple things in life and take for granted things such as: breathing, health, friends, music, knowledge, freedom, food, and many others.

    We become pre-occupied with our daily struggles and focus on what we don’t have, that we forget to give thanks to what we already have.

    People who are grateful for what they have are happier and more attractive, since it’s not always about adding superficial items and keeping up with the Jones’s.

     

    What are some other ways to look good without focusing on appearance? Comment below, I’ll love to hear some other responses I left out.

    More by this author

    Julian Hayes II

    Author, Health & Fitness Coach for Entrepreneurs, & Speaker

    18 Basic Rules for Leading a Fulfilling Life Starting Today, Stop These 6 Things to Become the Best Version of Yourself 5 Fun Ways to Transform Your Body And Health When You Don’t Feel Like Going to the Gym 4 Common Reasons Why You Fall Short With Your Weight Loss Goals (And What You Should Do Instead) 7 (Surprising) Actions to Take For Guaranteed Fat Loss

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    Last Updated on July 8, 2020

    How to Say No When You Say Yes Too Often

    How to Say No When You Say Yes Too Often

    Do you say yes so often that you realize you aren’t really happy about this, wondering how to say no to people?

    For years, I was a serial people pleaser. Known as someone who would step up, I would gladly make time especially when it came to volunteering for certain causes. I proudly carried this role all through grade school, college, even through law school. For years, I thought saying “no” meant I would disappoint a good friend or someone I respected.

    But somewhere along the way, I noticed I wasn’t quite living my life. Instead, I seem to have created a schedule that was a strange combination of meeting the expectations of others, what I thought I should be doing, and some of what I actually wanted to do. The result? I had a packed schedule that left me overwhelmed and unfulfilled.

    It took a long while but I learned the art of saying no. Saying ‘no’ meant I no longer catered fully to everyone else’s needs and could make more room for what I really wanted to do. Instead of cramming too much in, I chose to pursue what really mattered. I started to manage my time more around my own needs and interests. When that happened, I became a lot happier. And guess what? I hardly disappointed anyone.

    The Importance of Saying No

    When you learn the art of saying ‘no,’ you begin to look at the world differently. Rather than seeing all of the things you could or should be doing (and aren’t doing), you start to look at how to say yes to what’s important.

    In other words, you aren’t just reacting to what life throws at you. You seek the opportunities that move you to where you want to be.

    Successful people aren’t afraid to say no. Oprah Winfrey considered one of the most successful women in the world confessed that it was much later in life when she learned how to say no. Even after she had become internationally famous, she felt she had to say yes to virtually everything. It was only when she realized that after years of struggling with saying no, I finally got to this question: “What do I want?”

    Being able to say no also helps you manage your time better.

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    Warren Buffett views no as essential to his success. He said,

    “The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

    When I made ‘no’ a part of my toolbox, I drove more of my own success focusing on fewer things and doing them well.

    How We Are Pressured to Say Yes

    It’s no wonder a lot of us find it hard to say ‘no.’

    From an early age, we are conditioned to say ‘yes.’ We said yes probably hundreds of time in order to graduate from high school and then get into college. We said yes to find work. We said yes get a promotion. We said yes to find love and then yes again to stay in a relationship. We said yes to find and keep friends.

    We say yes because it feels better to help someone. We say yes because it can seem like the right thing to do. We say yes because we think that is key to success. And we say yes because the request might come from someone who is hard to resist like the boss.

    And that’s not all. The pressure to say yes doesn’t just come from others. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves. At work, we say yes because we compare ourselves to others who seem to be doing more than we are. Outside of work, we say yes because we feel guilty we aren’t doing enough to spend time with family or friends.

    The message no matter where we turn is nearly always, “You really could be doing more.” The result? When people ask us for our time, we are heavily conditioned to say yes.

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    How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty

    Deciding to add the word ‘no’ to your toolbox is no small thing. Perhaps you already say ‘no’ but not as much as you would like. Maybe you have an instinct that if you were to learn the art of ‘no’ that you could finally create more time for things you care about. But let’s be honest, using the word ‘no’ doesn’t come easily for many people.

    The 3 Rules of Thumbs for Saying No

    1. You Need to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

    Let’s face it. It is hard to say no. Setting boundaries around your time especially you haven’t done it much in the past will feel awkward.

    2. You Are the Air Traffic Controller of Your Time

    Remember that you are the only one who understands the demands for your time. Think about it, who else knows about all of the demands on your time? No one. Only you are at the center of all of these requests. are the only one that understands what time you really have.

    3. Saying ‘No’ Means Saying ‘Yes’ to Something That Matters

    When we decide not to do something, it means we can say yes to something else. You have a unique opportunity to decide how you spend your precious time.

    6 Ways to Start Saying No

    Incorporating that little word ‘no’ into your life can be transformational. Turning some things down will mean you can open doors to what really matters. Here are some essential tips to learn the art of no:

    1. Check in With Your Obligation Meter

    One of the biggest challenges to saying ‘no’ is a feeling of obligation. Do you feel you have a responsibility to say yes and worry that saying no reflect poorly on you?

    Ask yourself whether you truly have the duty to say yes. Check your assumptions or beliefs about whether you carry the responsibility to say yes. Turn it around and instead ask what duty you owe to yourself.

    2. Resist the Fear of Missing out (FOMO)

    Do you have a fear of missing out (FOMO)? FOMO can follow us around in so many ways. At work, we volunteer our time because we fear we won’t move ahead. In our personal lives, we agree to join the crowd because FOMO even while we ourselves aren’t enjoying the fun.

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    Check in with yourself. Are you saying yes because of FOMO or because you really want to say yes? More often than not, running after fear doesn’t make us feel better.

    3. Check Your Assumptions About What It Means to Say ‘No’

    Do you dread the reaction you will get if you say no? Often, we say ‘yes’ because we worry about how others will respond or the consequences of saying no or because of the consequences. We may be afraid to disappoint others or think we will lose respect from others. We often forget how much we are disappointing ourselves along the way.

    Keep in mind that saying ‘no’ can be exactly what is needed to send the right message that you have limited time. In the tips below, you will see how to communicate your no in a gentle and loving way. You might disappoint someone initially but drawing a boundary can bring you the freedom you need so that you can give freely of yourself when you truly want to.

    4. When the Request Comes In, Sit on It

    Sometimes, when we are in the moment, we instinctively agree. The request might make sense at first. Or we typically have said yes to this request in the past.

    Give yourself a little time to reflect on whether you really have the time, or can do the task properly. You may decide the best option is to say ‘no.’ There is no harm in giving yourself the time to decide.

    5. Communicate Your ‘No’ with Transparency and Kindness

    When you are ready to tell someone no, communicate your decision clearly. The message can be open and honest to ensure the recipient that your reasons have to do with your limited time.

    Resist the temptation not to respond or communicate all. But do not feel obligated to provide a lengthy account about why you are saying no.

    A clear communication with a short explanation is all that is needed. I have found it useful to tell people that I have many demands and need to be careful with how I allocate my time. I will sometimes say I really appreciate that they came to me and for them to check in again if the opportunity arises another time.

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    6. Consider How to Use a Modified ‘No’

    If you are under pressure to say yes but want to say no, you may want to consider downgrading a “yes” to a “yes but…” giving you an opportunity to condition your agreement to what works best for you.

    Sometimes, the condition can be to do the task but not in the time frame that was originally requested. Or perhaps you can do part of what has been asked.

    Final Thoughts

    Beginning right now, you can change how you respond to requests for your time. When the request comes in, take yourself off autopilot where you might normally say yes.

    Use the request as a fresh request to draw a healthy boundary around your time. Pay particular attention to when you place certain demands on yourself. If you are the one placing the demand on yourself, try to evaluate the demand as if it were coming from somewhere else.

    Try it now. Say no to a friend who continues to take advantage of your goodwill. Or, draw the line with a workaholic colleague and tell them you will complete the project but not by working all weekend. Or, tell someone in your family you can’t loan them money again because they never paid you back the last time. You’ll find yourself much happier.

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    Featured photo credit: Chris Ainsworth via unsplash.com

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