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Quick Test: What Is Your Forgiveness IQ?

Quick Test: What Is Your Forgiveness IQ?

It’s not easy to forgive when you feel slighted or wronged, yet we know that the inability to forgive makes us hold onto bitterness and negativity. For some, forgiving oneself for past actions and choices proves to be the most challenging of all. It is important to keep in mind that forgiveness is a choice and reflects a personal, conscious decision. The first step is to identify the essential elements of forgiveness, which can provide you with a basis to focus on the areas that need the most attention in order to boost your “Forgiveness IQ.”

For the following 10 questions, rate each item from 1 to 10 to find out your “Forgiveness IQ.” Rate your responses on a continuum from 1 (Strongly Disagree) to 10 (Strongly Agree).

____________________________________________________________________

Strongly Disagree  1   2    3    4    5    6    7   8   9   10    Strongly Agree

 

1. ________   I will not forgive someone if they are not sorry and do not admit what they have done.

2. ________   Those who have wronged or slighted me but take no responsibility for hurting me do not deserve to be forgiven.

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3. ________   I find that my lack of ability to forgive makes me stuck thinking about what happened in the past.

4. ________   I cannot forgive because I do not want to condone bad behavior.

5. ________   A difficulty in forgiving makes it hard for me to trust others.

6. ________   It is hard to forgive, because forgiving is letting someone off the hook and makes them no longer accountable.

7. ________   Forgiveness is something that you just feel; it is not a trainable skill.

8. ________   Since there is nothing I can do about things now, I tend to keep things in and do not share my hurt with others.

9. ________   If I forgive, that means I will be vulnerable again so I need to protect myself.

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10. _______   I cannot forgive myself for past mistakes, choices and failures.

 

Total Score: ________ How did you do?  The lower the score, the better is your Forgiveness IQ.  The following is a rough guideline on what your score means:

 

15 or Lower — You are a Forgiveness Genius: Congratulations!

 

16–29 — Strong Forgiveness Competency: You have given yourself the gift of forgiveness and you usually stay positive.

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30–49 — Moderate Forgiveness Competency: You have some work to do on becoming less negative and stuck in past resentments.

 

50–69 — Moderate Forgiveness Impaired: A difficulty with forgiveness has limited your ability to stay positive and live fully in the present

 

70–84 — Severely Forgiveness Impaired: Consider seeking professional help to give yourself the gift of forgiveness.

 

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85–100 — DANGER ZONE: A lack of forgiveness impairs your mental health. Seek psychological help.

 

The questions for this quick test identify the major stumbling blocks people often have when overcoming resentments, grudges and their own self-recriminations. Some major points to take away from this quick quiz are that forgiveness is a skill you can choose to develop; an inability to forgive holds you back from living a happy and healthy life; being unforgiving makes you a prisoner of your past, and forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself.

For the self-recriminators, work on forgiving yourself for not having the foresight to know what you now know in hindsight. We are all works in progress, and it’s time to let yourself off the hook and build on your regrets rather than live in them. Life is all about evolving and learning. If you made a mistake in the past, learn from it instead of living in it. Those who are defined by their past can not immerse themselves in life at present.

For those hurts from the past, make the choice to let lessons learned deepen you instead of weaken you. As you work on these points, take this quick test occasionally so you can remind yourself to keep on working to boost your Forgiveness I.Q!

Featured photo credit: http://pixabay.com/en/ via pixabay.com

More by this author

Judy Belmont

Mental health author, motivational speaker and psychotherapist

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People 11 WARNING Signs Of Unhealthy Relationships You Need to Be Aware Of Robin Williams’ Death Is A Wake-Up Call: 12 Natural Ways To Fight Depression Quick Test: What Is Your Forgiveness IQ? 7 Essential Ways That Inspirational Quotes Can Literally Change Your Day … and Your Life!

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Last Updated on March 25, 2020

How to Crush Your Lack of Motivation and Always Stay Motivated

How to Crush Your Lack of Motivation and Always Stay Motivated

How many times have you not achieved your goals and let yourself down due to your lack of motivation? When you’re not wallowing in sadness and self-pity, you are too busy procrastinating till you can’t anymore and before you know it, you are part of vicious cycle of anxiety and stress.

Whether it’s losing weight or bringing your business to fruition – motivation is essential for growth and success in every sphere of our lives.

That said, it is not easy staying motivated. In order to constantly stay motivated, you need to take ownership of your life and consciously make efforts in that direction.

Well, it’s never too late to take matters in your hands and change the course of your life. Here are 11 effective ways to crush your lack of motivation and always stay motivated:

1. Write Your Goals

The power of writing goals down has always been underestimated. Why write when you can remember, right? Wrong.

Our thoughts are all over the place and the first step to achieve your goals is to organize your thoughts. So, write your goals down, however big or small they might be. Make them as specific as possible and assign deadlines to each of them.

As you write them down and revisit them regularly, they get further drilled in your head, taking you closer to your goals. Doing this small exercise helps you to remain focused, motivated and lets you track your progress with ease.

Start today – take to your laptop or a diary and get down to writing what you wish to achieve in life.

2. Beat Procrastination

Your lack of motivation and procrastination go hand in hand. Every time you procrastinate, your motivation levels take a greater hit. The only way to bring an end to this loop is to stop procrastinating.

Next time you find yourself putting off something for ‘later’, stop and assess the reasons behind it. Get to the root of the cause and eliminate it in order to overcome this poor habit of procrastinating which is sabotaging your life and mental health.

Take a look at this guide and learn how to beat procrastination:

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What Is Procrastination (And the Complete Guide to Stop Procrastinating)

When you finally overcome procrastination, you will realize the positive impact it has on your mood and motivation levels.

3. Celebrate Small Wins

In the quest to achieve the bigger goals in life, we often forget to celebrate the smaller wins along the way. An achievement is an achievement – be it big or small, it deserves to be acknowledged and celebrated.

Finished a project on time? Reward yourself. Managed to run on the treadmill for a good one hour? Pat yourself on the back. Found time to meditate? Celebrate it.

It is these small achievements that reinstate that we are on the right path and take us one step closer to the bigger goals.

So, get into the habit of recognizing and appreciating small wins. You will be surprised to see how this practice helps you stay motivated.

4. Practice Gratitude

It’s easier to whine about what we don’t have rather than counting our blessings. Isn’t it?

Making gratefulness a part of your life is a very important step to retain high motivational levels. It revitalizes our spirits and renews our enthusiasm for life.

So, how do you practice gratitude? For starters, keep a gratitude journal to jot down what you are grateful for, express your gratitude to people you love and spread positivity wherever you go. If you need some inspiration to be thankful for, here it is:

60 Things To Be Thankful For In Life

By doing so, you begin to focus more on what you have rather than what you don’t and that is a great start to stay motivated.

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5. Be Optimistic

Life is not always hunky dory. There will be bad days when things aren’t going in your favor, when you feel lost and all you want to do is give up.

At such times, instead of letting negativity take over your life, adopt an optimistic approach to life. Quit overthinking, ask the right questions and focus on finding solutions.

Yes, there will be hurdles along the way but if you hang on to positive affirmations and hopes, the journey will be a lot smoother. So, with every passing day, sow the seeds of positivity and you are sure to build a positive environment around you.

6. Don’t Dwell on the Past

A lot of times, our lack of motivation stems from the habit of dwelling on the past. This gives rise to fear and regrets, preventing us from making progress in the present day.

Dwelling on the past is nothing but a waste of time. Understand that the past is long gone, and you cannot do anything to change that.

What you can do is make your present day worthwhile. Instead of looking back and having regrets, learn from your mistakes, forgive yourself and move on.

So, the next time you find your mind wandering off to the past, be determined to change the way you think and consciously concentrate on living in the present. This guide can help you:

10 Simple Steps To Let Go Of The Past

7. Face your Fears

You can never find motivation where there is fear. Identify the fear that is pulling you back and tackle it.

If you don’t face your fear head on, you cannot expect to conquer it and renew your motivation.

Ask yourself: What is stopping you? What are you scared of?

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Once you accept your fear, you can work on an action plan and think of solutions to overcome it. This article will give you some effective tips on conquering your fears:

How to Overcome Your Irrational Fears (That Stop You from Succeeding)

Seek external help if required but don’t choose to turn a blind eye over your fears – it will only aggravate matters.

8. Visualize your Success

You must have heard the famous quote, ‘see it to believe it’. That is exactly what visualization is about.

One of the most effective self-motivation techniques, visualizing the process to your desired outcome helps you move in a positive direction and achieve your goal.

Close your eyes and focus all your energies on the minutest of details that will take you where you want to reach. Doing this exercise everyday inspires you to keep going and not lose hope. The vision of attaining success will drive you to do better while instilling belief and confidence.

9. Find Inspiration

Can’t seem to find inspiration inwards? Don’t panic. There are plenty of external sources to gain inspiration from.

From motivational books and quotes to speeches, films and apps – it is a good idea to take help from motivational material to rekindle your spirits and regain your motivation.

Everyone is wired differently. For instance, a self-help book might work for your friend, but it might do nothing to move you. So, find what inspires you and turn to it when you are in desperate need for motivation.

Finding inspiration externally fills you with hope and sometimes that is all you need.

10. Enjoy Downtime

You are clearly exhausted with all the running you’re doing in life. So much, that you don’t even have time to stop and think what’s causing you so much unhappiness. All you know is that you are lacking motivation and everyday seems to have become a struggle.

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Now, that’s certainly not how you should live the rest of your life.

You need to schedule downtime for yourself, relax and give your mind and body some rest. Take a vacation, indulge in hobbies, meet some friends, put your hair down and stop with all the overthinking. It is important to do things that make you happy in order to think clearly and stay motivated.

11. Meditate Regularly

Meditation lets you take control of your mind. It improves focus and concentration while helping you relax.

Whenever you have had a tough day or find your thoughts going places, the best way to calm yourself down is by closing your eyes and meditating. It helps you to remove all the unnecessary frills in life and keeps you on the right track.

Include meditation in your daily schedule and you are sure to see an improvement in your productivity and motivation.

The Bottom Line

Practicing these simple exercises isn’t the tough part, what’s tough is religiously doing them every day.

However, don’t expect to get rid of your lack of motivation overnight. There will still be days when you will be low on energy but by making these conscious efforts to stay motivated, you are sure to see a vast change in your perspective and your response to bad days.

So, start today and be committed to making a positive change in your life.

More Tips About Staying Motivated

Featured photo credit: Sonnie Hiles via unsplash.com

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