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How to Stop Feeling Bad, Change Your Thoughts, and Change Your LIfe

How to Stop Feeling Bad, Change Your Thoughts, and Change Your LIfe

You look like you’ve got it all together. You’re always smiling in your selfies. Your Instagram and Facebook photos look like you’re having the time of your life, but inside your head there’s another movie going on.

You know you’re a decent person (your mother tells you all the time) but you keep hearing voices that bring you down. Voices of doubt making you wonder if you’re good enough, cool enough, hot enough, or you’re up for the challenge in front of you. Guess what? You are!

You just have to learn how to dig through the garbage bin of your mind and see how great you really are, so you can start living a happier life.

CHANGE THE WAY YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR THOUGHTS

If you want to change your life, the first thing to change is the relationship you have with your thoughts. Regardless of how successful, confident, and self-assured someone looks; you can be sure that inside every person is a little voice full of doubt. What matters most is how you relate to those thoughts. Just because you hear thoughts of doubt, insecurity, or regret – doesn’t mean you have to listen to them.

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Give your negative voice a voice.

Listen to your thoughts. Be aware of what you say to yourself. Do you sound like your best friend (You’re doing a great job, hang in there, things will get better soon, believe in miracles, pray) or do you sound like the high school bully (You’re such a jerk, loser, stop being a baby, grow up already)?

Say your thoughts out loud. Whether it’s to yourself or a trusted friend, releasing those thoughts will free you from the prison of your mind. That’s when positive change will happen.

Face your flaws.

As odd as that seems, denial is a nasty self-esteem destroyer. Admitting your truths frees you. It’s the first step to happiness.

There is no such thing as perfect. Everybody is imperfect. It’s what makes us human. It’s a common bond we share. What matters is how you manage your imperfections. Do they haunt you and stick with you for days? Or do you try to forget about them and make them go away? Successful people admit their flaws, improve them, and move beyond them.

Flaws that are not admitted can hold you down and interfere with your happiness. If you want to be truly happy, you have to be brave enough to know what you need to improve. Maybe you need to stop procrastinating, less selfish, or control your temper; once you admit it, you can change it. If you remain in denial, your harmful habits will continue to harm you.

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Forgive yourself.

It’s going to happen; you’ll mess up, make a mistake, or say the wrong thing, it’s ok. You’re imperfect and human, just like the rest of us. It’s not the mistake that hurts, but whether you take it in and let it rot inside your head or learn from it and let it go. Mess-ups are part of everybody’s day. Look at Bill Clinton, Steve Jobs, and John Travolta. How do you think he felt when he mispronounced Idina Menzel‘s name in front of 43 million people? Ouch! People forget and get over it. You can too.

“Sometimes when you innovate, you make mistakes. It is best to admit them quickly, and get on with improving your other innovations.” 
Steve Jobs

Steve Jobs had to forgive himself when he made the first Apple III computer. It was so poorly designed that the computer was known as an unreliable machine that continuously crashed due to poor ventilation.

Think about who you want to be.

Whether your dream is to act on Broadway or become the next Stephen King, visualize the person you want to become. Jim Carrey did it, and it worked for him. In 1983 when Jim was broke and down and out, he wrote himself a post-dated check for $10 million. He carried it in his pocket for ten years. What do you see in your future? Make that your daily visualization. Write it down and keep it with you every day.

List your strengths.

Affirmations are corny, but they work. Remind yourself how you tackled that tough project, or made peace with a friend after they hurt you. Take a few minutes to realize how your accomplishments.

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When things happen that knock you down, get back up. Remember those life-size inflatable punching bags when you were a kid? That’s you. Keep bouncing back up.

Spirituality helps.

When times are tough (and even in the good times) a spiritual foundation can get you through. Knowing that there is something in the Universe that is steering your life path, guiding your journey, testing you, and helping you to become a better person can be a great source of inspiration, hope, and strength.

Start something new.

You might want to start a blog, journal, or books- whatever you choose- search for something that speaks to your soul. Explore new options, take a course, or make your childhood dreams come true.

Be ready to change.

Complaining about how bad things are doesn’t make things better. Talking about change and making a change are not the same. It’s so easy to say “I don’t like my life the way it is, everything’s a mess.” But if you want your life to be better, you have to be willing to make a change, and then take action to make it happen.

Achieving happiness is a paradox of life. First you have to see your flaws before you can see your goodness.

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It’s a choice you have to make. It’s not just saying you want it, and then you receive it. There are no special effect, no magic wands. It’s up to you.

The only way out is through. Go for it- you’re worth it.

Loving yourself is about feeling comfortable in your own skin, even if it’s itchy, bumpy, or burned. That’s true happiness.

You can be that person you want to be. Go ahead, write that $10 million check right now.

 

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Last Updated on July 18, 2019

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

Some people just seem to float through life with a relentless sense of happiness – through the toughest of times, they’re unfazed and aloof, stopping to smell the roses and drinking out of a glass half full.

They may not have much to be happy about, but the simplicity behind that fact itself may make them happy.

It’s all a matter of perspective, conscious effort and self-awareness. Listed below are a number of reasons why some people are always happy.

1. They Manage Their Expectations

They’re not crushed when they don’t get what they want – or misled into expecting to get the most out of every situation. They approach every situation pragmatically, hoping for the best but being prepared for the worst.

2. They Don’t Set Unrealistic Standards

Similar to the last point, they don’t live their lives in a constant pursuit towards impossible visions of perfection, only to always find themselves falling short of what they want.

3. They Don’t Take Anything for Granted

Happiness rests with feeling fulfilled – those who fail to stop and appreciate what they have every now and again will never experience true fulfillment.

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4. They’re Not Materialistic

There are arguing viewpoints on whether or not money can really buy happiness; if it can, then we know from experience that we can never be satisfied because there will always be something newer or better that we want. Who has ever had enough money?

5. They Don’t Dwell

They don’t sweat the small things or waste time worrying about things that don’t really matter at the end of the day. They don’t let negative thoughts latch onto them and drain them or distract them. Life’s too short to worry.

6. They Care About Themselves First

They’re independent, care for themselves and understand that they must put their needs first in order to accommodate the needs of others.

They indulge, aim to get what they want, make time for themselves and are extremely self-reliant.

7. They Enjoy the Little Things

They stop to smell the roses. They’re accustomed to find serenity when it’s available, to welcome entertainment or a stimulating discussion with a stranger when it crosses their path. They don’t overlook the small things in life that can be just as important.

8. They Can Adapt

They’re not afraid of change and they work to make the most out of new circumstances, good or bad. They thrive under pressure, are not overwhelmed easily and always embrace a change of pace.

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9. They Experiment

They try new things, experience new flavors and never shy away from something they have yet to experience. They never order twice from the same menu.

10. They Take Their Time

They don’t unnecessarily rush through life. They work on their own schedule to the extent that they can and maneuver through life at their own relaxing pace.

11. They Employ Different Perspectives

They’re not stuck in one perspective; a loss can result in a new opportunity, hitting rock bottom can mean that there’s no where to go but up.

12. They Seek to Learn

Their constant pursuit of knowledge keeps them inspired and interested in life. They cherish information and are on a life-long quest to learn as much as they can.

13. They Always Have a Plan

They don’t find themselves drifting without purpose. When something doesn’t go as planned, they have a plan for every letter in the alphabet to fall back on.

14. They Give Respect to Get It

They are respectful and, in turn, are seen as respectable; the respect they exude earns them the respect they deserve.

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15. They Consider Every Opportunity

They always have their eyes open for a new road, a new avenue worth exploring. They know how to recognize opportune moments and pounce on them to make the most of every situation. Success is inevitable for them.

16. They Always Seek to Improve

Perpetual self-improvement is the key towards their ongoing thirst for success. Whatever it is they do, they take pride in getting better and better, from social interactions to mundane tasks. Their pursuit at being the best eventually materializes.

17. They Don’t Take Life Too Seriously

They’re not ones to get offended easily over-analyze or complicate matters. They laugh at their own faults and misfortunes.

18. They Live in the Moment

They don’t live for tomorrow or dwell on what may have happened yesterday. Every day is a new opportunity, a new chapter. They live in the now, and in doing so, get the most out of every moment.

You can learn how to do so too: How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future

19. They Say Yes

Much more often than they say no. They don’t have to be badgered to go out, don’t shy away from new opportunities or anything that may seem inconvenient.

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20. They’re Self-Aware

Most important, they’re wholly aware of themselves. They self-reflect and are conscious of their states of mind. If somethings bothering them, they fix it.

We’re all susceptible to feeling down every now and again, but we are all equipped with the necessary solutions that just have to be discovered.

Lack of confidence, inability to feel fulfilled, and susceptibility to stress are all matters that can be controlled through the way we handle our lives and perceive our circumstances.

Learn about How Self-Reflection Gives You a Happier and More Successful Life.

Final Thoughts

The main philosophy employed by the happiest includes the idea that life’s simply too short: life’s too short to let things get you down, to take things for granted, to pursue absolute and unrealistic perfection.

For some, employing these characteristics is a second nature – they do it without knowing. For others, a conscious effort must be put forth every now and again. Self-Awareness is key.

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Featured photo credit: Charles Postiaux via unsplash.com

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