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10 Steps to Be a Rock Star at Anything

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10 Steps to Be a Rock Star at Anything

Rock Star. The word brings up all sorts of connotations: a performer, a celebrity, someone with drive or energy, someone who is loved. While the phrase is usually associated with music, we tend to use the term as a positive label for anyone who is remarkable, is successful, or has passionate followers.

So what does it take, and how can you be a rock star at anything?

1) Passion. Rock stars all over the world hold one thing in common: a relentless drive for the things that they are passionate about. A person who is strikingly dedicated is magnetic for those who have similar interests or pursuits.

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2) Development. Whether you have natural talent or require extra training, you will need a plan for developing your skills. You can hire a mentor or trainer, take classes, read books, and practice. As renowned entertainer Eddie Cantor said, “It takes twenty years to become an overnight success.” Learn how to stay motivated.

3) Discipline. Rock stars have a strictly-disciplined regimen, which leads to more success. This includes staying away from things that can be a distraction or negative influence on what they do. As this article states, self-discipline is the foundation of productive living.

4) Connection. Being a rock star implies that someone has some loyal fans. In other words, it takes a group of people rooting you on and supporting whatever you do. It doesn’t have to be a large audience; it can simply be a loved one or some co-workers. Either way, it’s important to accept their support, deepen those relationships, and acknowledge their contributions to your success.

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5) Consistency. If you want to be a rock star, you need to be able to perform consistently. People are looking for someone who is reliable, and that requires regular training, a history of success, and the ability to meet or exceed expectations every time.

6) Encore. Generally, the rule of thumb for any performer is to satisfy your fans but “leave them wanting more.” In other words, you don’t want to overstay your welcome in the limelight. However, if you do have a chance to extend your performance, make sure you leave a show-stopping experience for those who are watching. Whatever industry you are in — whether it is music, non-profits, or corporate sales — your job is about customer service. Make sure that anytime someone walks away, they are amazed and not bored.

7) Humility. The real rock star is gracious and still has the ability to connect. While it’s easy to get distracted by the glamorous, over-the-top lifestyles of some, it’s important to realize that those who are the most respected, appreciated, and followed are the ones who are humble, put others first, and aren’t arrogant.

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8) Confidence. It’s important to be humble but one should also be confident in their values, pursuits, and abilities. It’s easy to confuse humility with timidity. Learn the art of humble confidence. If you want others to believe in you, you’re going to have to believe in yourself first.

9) Influence. Leadership expert and author John C. Maxwell states, “Leadership is influence. Nothing more, nothing less.” If you want to be a rock star, you’re going to have to learn how to lead others. Study the art of influence by focusing on your personal abilities, learning how to become a better communicator, and graciously receiving feedback from others.

10) Attitude. Perhaps the most important ability for a rock star to possess is a positive attitude. Often times, your attitude can make you or break you. If you have a resilient belief that you can make a difference and pursue that belief with a relentless passion, you can use that to drive your attitude.

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It’s often said that if you want to be remarkable, you should do something that is worth making a mark about. That requires passion, confidence, discipline, and all of the other traits listed above. Sometimes being a rock star means you’ll be widely recognized for an outstanding talent and will receive fame, power, or riches from it. Other times, it means that your service to the world will inspire others to dedicate their lives to helping others. Whatever you choose, just remember: you have the ability to be a rock star.

Continue to work on the ten areas above to stay on the path to rock-stardom.

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Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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