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How Not to Ruin Your Relationships When You’re In a Rotten Mood

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How Not to Ruin Your Relationships When You’re In a Rotten Mood

You know that yucky feeling when you can’t even look at yourself in the mirror, when you want to turn your phone on silent, pull the covers over your head and hide from the world.

You can do that if you live by yourself, never leave your house, and live in the remote mountains of Mt. Kilimanjaro. But if you’re like the rest of us and have a job, go to the grocery and stop at Starbucks every morning, you have to face people every day- no matter what mood you’re in.

Bad moods are a part of life. They come on fast and hard. They happen without warning. Everything is fine and then BAM! Before you know it, you’re yelling at your cat for walking between your legs, you’re eating a pint of ice cream, or your thoughts are dark and your words disappear. Unfortunately, rotten moods are a reality you must learn to live with.

During that time, here are 12 tips to help you cope with your gloomy thoughts and not hurt people you love, live with or work with.

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1. Admit to yourself that you’re in a bad mood.

Deceiving yourself by going into denial will only prolong and deepen the darkness. Identify your crankiness, even if you can’t find the source of it. Waking up after a restless nightmare-filled night makes you snap at everyone who comes near you. Be gentle with yourself, especially when you feel out of sync.

2. Ask for a time-out.

Be considerate of the people in your orbit. Tell them you need some time alone. You may not know what’s going on but you know it’s best to be alone for an hour. Remove yourself to either a bathroom, a car, the local deli, or Starbucks. Go for a walk, get some fresh air. Breathe and give yourself time to reframe your negative thinking or physical discomfort.

3. Cry like a baby.

Crying is cleansing. Listen to a sad song or turn on The Notebook, bring those tears out from your soul. Let it all out. Yes, guys can cry too.

4. Tell someone else.

Be honest it might make you feel better. If you can, tell whomever you come in contact with so they don’t think you’re mad at them. Share your worries with someone you trust. Someone who won’t judge you, but will stand beside you with a shoulder to lean on.

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5. Beware of your stress levels.

if you have an appointment, get ready 30 minutes earlier, text them and tell them you’ll be a little late. Don’t make it worse, by adding more stress to your already stressed-out state of mind.

6. Have a sense of humor.

LOL. Laugh if you can. Try to joke about how crummy you feel. Just be sure to make fun of yourself (not anyone else).

7. Silence is a good thing.

Pause before you speak. When your thoughts in a negative space, your words often match. You end up saying things you soon regret. During your darkness, it is especially important to watch your words.

8. Break the silence.

After you’ve had a good cry, gone out for a walk, and had a chance to reframe your mood, share your thoughts with someone who loves you. If no one understands, hire a therapist who will listen and help you through your abyss.

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9. Realize you don’t live in a bubble.

Bad moods make us self-absorbed. No one else exists but you. Everything is about you. Give yourself a gentle slap and realize that people who love you are close to you. They don’t know how to handle you. They don’t know what to say. You may not be able to communicate what you feel, but just look at them and see how much they love you.

10. Understand yourself.

Take a personal inventory. Don’t get lost in over-analyzing yourself but just take a step back (if you can) and think about what is upsetting you? Are your feelings hurt from something your boss said? Are you holding in anger? Is there a decision you need to make but don’t want to make? Give yourself time to process what you feel. Think lovingly of yourself. Be your own best friend.

11. Look for the message.

After the darkness clears and the sun comes out, see if there is a lesson to be learned. Often in your hardest moments, the greatest wisdom comes to you. Maybe not immediately, but soon after. Keep your mind open to the possiblity that your bad mood might be filled with wisdom you need to have about yourself.

12. Write it, if you cannot speak about it.

The words in your head are often hard to verbally process. Writing is an excellent method of communicating the thoughts you cannot speak. Write about what you feel. Writing is private. Writing is an expression of your soul.

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Being in a bad mood is certainly unpleasant but it doesn’t have to become a monstrous event that destroys your relationships, or gets you fired. Yes, it can have a huge affect on your day but it happens to everyone. We all know life can be tough but the good thing is that we all know it. It’s what bonds us together.

Everyone will understand; if you are true to yourself, your feelings and the people around you.

It’s okay if you need a little time to be alone and cry but when you’re finished, share your feelings with that one special someone who will love you, wait for you, and be there for you in your darkest hour, no matter what.

We’ve all been there before. Remember… you’re never alone. Somebody loves you.

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June Silny

ADHD Coach, Writer, ADDitude Magazine featured contributor

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