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How Not to Ruin Your Relationships When You’re In a Rotten Mood

How Not to Ruin Your Relationships When You’re In a Rotten Mood

You know that yucky feeling when you can’t even look at yourself in the mirror, when you want to turn your phone on silent, pull the covers over your head and hide from the world.

You can do that if you live by yourself, never leave your house, and live in the remote mountains of Mt. Kilimanjaro. But if you’re like the rest of us and have a job, go to the grocery and stop at Starbucks every morning, you have to face people every day- no matter what mood you’re in.

Bad moods are a part of life. They come on fast and hard. They happen without warning. Everything is fine and then BAM! Before you know it, you’re yelling at your cat for walking between your legs, you’re eating a pint of ice cream, or your thoughts are dark and your words disappear. Unfortunately, rotten moods are a reality you must learn to live with.

During that time, here are 12 tips to help you cope with your gloomy thoughts and not hurt people you love, live with or work with.

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1. Admit to yourself that you’re in a bad mood.

Deceiving yourself by going into denial will only prolong and deepen the darkness. Identify your crankiness, even if you can’t find the source of it. Waking up after a restless nightmare-filled night makes you snap at everyone who comes near you. Be gentle with yourself, especially when you feel out of sync.

2. Ask for a time-out.

Be considerate of the people in your orbit. Tell them you need some time alone. You may not know what’s going on but you know it’s best to be alone for an hour. Remove yourself to either a bathroom, a car, the local deli, or Starbucks. Go for a walk, get some fresh air. Breathe and give yourself time to reframe your negative thinking or physical discomfort.

3. Cry like a baby.

Crying is cleansing. Listen to a sad song or turn on The Notebook, bring those tears out from your soul. Let it all out. Yes, guys can cry too.

4. Tell someone else.

Be honest it might make you feel better. If you can, tell whomever you come in contact with so they don’t think you’re mad at them. Share your worries with someone you trust. Someone who won’t judge you, but will stand beside you with a shoulder to lean on.

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5. Beware of your stress levels.

if you have an appointment, get ready 30 minutes earlier, text them and tell them you’ll be a little late. Don’t make it worse, by adding more stress to your already stressed-out state of mind.

6. Have a sense of humor.

LOL. Laugh if you can. Try to joke about how crummy you feel. Just be sure to make fun of yourself (not anyone else).

7. Silence is a good thing.

Pause before you speak. When your thoughts in a negative space, your words often match. You end up saying things you soon regret. During your darkness, it is especially important to watch your words.

8. Break the silence.

After you’ve had a good cry, gone out for a walk, and had a chance to reframe your mood, share your thoughts with someone who loves you. If no one understands, hire a therapist who will listen and help you through your abyss.

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9. Realize you don’t live in a bubble.

Bad moods make us self-absorbed. No one else exists but you. Everything is about you. Give yourself a gentle slap and realize that people who love you are close to you. They don’t know how to handle you. They don’t know what to say. You may not be able to communicate what you feel, but just look at them and see how much they love you.

10. Understand yourself.

Take a personal inventory. Don’t get lost in over-analyzing yourself but just take a step back (if you can) and think about what is upsetting you? Are your feelings hurt from something your boss said? Are you holding in anger? Is there a decision you need to make but don’t want to make? Give yourself time to process what you feel. Think lovingly of yourself. Be your own best friend.

11. Look for the message.

After the darkness clears and the sun comes out, see if there is a lesson to be learned. Often in your hardest moments, the greatest wisdom comes to you. Maybe not immediately, but soon after. Keep your mind open to the possiblity that your bad mood might be filled with wisdom you need to have about yourself.

12. Write it, if you cannot speak about it.

The words in your head are often hard to verbally process. Writing is an excellent method of communicating the thoughts you cannot speak. Write about what you feel. Writing is private. Writing is an expression of your soul.

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Being in a bad mood is certainly unpleasant but it doesn’t have to become a monstrous event that destroys your relationships, or gets you fired. Yes, it can have a huge affect on your day but it happens to everyone. We all know life can be tough but the good thing is that we all know it. It’s what bonds us together.

Everyone will understand; if you are true to yourself, your feelings and the people around you.

It’s okay if you need a little time to be alone and cry but when you’re finished, share your feelings with that one special someone who will love you, wait for you, and be there for you in your darkest hour, no matter what.

We’ve all been there before. Remember… you’re never alone. Somebody loves you.

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Last Updated on June 3, 2020

19 Definitions Of Success You Should Never Ignore

19 Definitions Of Success You Should Never Ignore

What is success?

Is it wealth? Is it happiness? Is it fame?

The late Zig Ziglar was one of the most respected modern day experts on success, motivation, and leading a balanced life. In his book Born to Win!, he argues that success cannot be defined in one sentence, but instead it is comprised of many things. One could argue that the definition depends on the individual and that one size does not fit all[1].

Here are 19 different definitions of success. Not all of these will resonate with you, but chances are at least a few of them will. Use these or find inspiration here to create your own definition of success that can be applied to your unique life.

1. Success is always doing your best.

Success can be achieved when you try your best in all aspects of everything you do, even if that doesn’t lead to big results. If you’ve done your best, you should feel proud of your efforts.

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2. Success is properly setting concrete goals.

Be realistic and concrete when setting goals. Success does not come from setting abstract goals. If you know where you’re heading, that is a success in itself, even if you don’t ultimately arrive to the planned destination.

3. Success is having a place to call home.

Home is where your heart soars. You are always successful when you can call a place home. Home doesn’t have to be a specific structure. It can be a country, a city, or even a person. If you have a place you feel comfortable and safe, you’re already achieving something great.

4. Success is understanding the difference between need and want.

If you can meet your monthly obligations and fulfill your basic needs, you are successful. Being able to identify when you absolutely need something and when you can do without it often leads to financial stability and is a great way to succeed.

5. Success is believing you can.

If you believe you can, you will succeed. Self-belief doesn’t come naturally to everyone, so if you’re able to tell yourself that you can achieve the goals in your plans, you’re doing great.

6. Success is remembering to balance work with passion.

Work without passion creates undue stress and empty achievements. Focus on what excites you. If you’re happy at your job, that’s great. However, even if you aren’t, you can balance your formal job with hobbies or volunteer work you’re passionate about.

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7. Success is taking care of your needs.

Remember to put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others. Self-care is essential if you want to have any meaningful impact on the world around you.

8. Success is learning that you sometimes have to say no.

Success only comes with a balanced life. Part of balance is learning to say no. Saying no doesn’t mean you are selfish; it simply means you have priorities and know what you need to give your attention to at any given time.

9. Success is knowing your life is filled with abundance.

Love, health, friends, family…life is filled with abundance. Recognizing this is an important step to feeling grateful for all life has given you. If you can feel this, you are already experiencing success.

10. Success is understanding you cannot keep what you don’t give away.

You will only succeed if you help others succeed. Learning to give instead of always take is part of creating a world we all want to live in. When you help others, you will also create an environment where others want to help you.

11. Success is overcoming fear.

Conquering a fear makes you feel invincible. Even if it’s confronting just one small fear each week, that is certainly something to feel proud of. The bigger fears will take more time, but any work you do to overcome fear will lead to success.

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12. Success is learning something new each day.

Successful people understand that learning never stops. Take time each day to converse with someone with opposing views, read an interesting article on a topic you know little about, or watch a TED talk on new research. It doesn’t take long to learn, so get started now.

13. Success is learning that losing a few battles can help you win a war.

Successful people choose their battles wisely. When you know which battles will ultimately help you achieve your goals, you will be successful.

14. Success is loving and being loved back.

Opening your heart to others is difficult and can produce fear. Having the courage to love and accept love from others is a step toward a fulfilling life and great success.

15. Success is standing your ground when you believe in something.

Successful people never give up on things they believe with all their heart. You may hold views that many people disagree with, but if you’ve done your research and know that it’s the right belief for you, you shouldn’t let it go without a fight.

16. Success is not giving up.

Perseverance creates grit, and grit achieves success. Even if it takes years to achieve a goal, persisting is key if you want success.

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17. Success is celebrating small victories.

Anytime a goal is reached or an obstacle is overcome, take time to celebrate, even if it’s something small. All goals require smaller objectives to be achieved first, so each time you complete one, take time to appreciate the work you put into it.

18. Success is never letting a disability hold you back.

Disabilities do not define a person’s success. The body and mind will compensate. Just because you can’t do absolutely everything doesn’t mean you can’t do something. Do what your body and mind allow and always push yourself. That is true success.

19. Success is understanding that you control your destiny.

Your destiny is controlled by you and you alone. Take responsibility for your actions and their consequences and you’ll find that you naturally become more successful.

The Bottom Line

Success can be defined in many ways. If you are experiencing happiness, love, or adventure in this moment, you’ve already found success. Keep it up.

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Featured photo credit: Dino Reichmuth via unsplash.com

Reference

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