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How a Little Jealousy Can Help You Grow

How a Little Jealousy Can Help You Grow

When the green-eyed monster rears its head, we usually think it’s a bad thing. Jealousy is typically seen as a negative. It means you are immature, self-centered, unappreciative of what you have. But it doesn’t necessarily need to be a bad thing all the time–it might help you grow!

1. It guides you.

Let’s say you’re jealous of your friend’s promotion. Maybe that’s an indication that you also want to pursue a higher level position, but it took your jealousy to make you see that. There are all sorts of things that we discover about ourselves based on our emotions. Sometimes it takes a certain kind of feeling to make you realize what you wanted all along.

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2. You’ll work harder.

Since jealousy can make you realize what you want, it’ll also act as a great motivator. In order to get what you want, you’ll work extra hard. Anytime you feel like giving up or slacking off, jealousy will be there to get you back on track to getting what you want. It’s like dangling a prize just out of your reach; eventually you’ll reach it, as long as you keep following after.

3. It will remind you of past desires.

Often, we forget about the dreams of our past. If you’re ever feeling a twinge of envy at someone else’s accomplishments, it can remind of you of a long-forgotten desire. The fact that you have feelings about it at all might be an indicator that it’s time to revisit that dream. Take it as a good opportunity to reminisce and make that dream finally come true.

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4. It might surprise you.

Being jealous might teach you a thing or two about yourself. If you get jealous about something that you’ve never been interested in, that can be an indicator that you should look into it. I remember in elementary school being jealous that my friend could shoot a free throw, even though I had never shown any interest in basketball at all. I promptly joined a local team and had my dad set up a basketball hoop in my back yard. You never know what a little jealousy might reveal about yourself.

5. It can serve as a goal.

Everyone works harder when there’s something to gain from it. Channel that jealousy into an attainable goal. This can be great motivation to get you what you want.

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6. It’s humbling.

The level of envy you feel might take you by surprise. If that’s the case, it might be time to reevaluate your feelings and aspirations. If you’ve worked hard and gotten to where you wanted to get, then why are you jealous? That emotion might serve as a good reminder to be thankful for what you do have.

7. You can channel it into a positive emotion.

If you’re jealous of a friend’s accomplishment, you’re obviously impressed by it. Try taking that jealousy and turning it into pride for your friend for achieving something great. It’s funny how quickly you can channel your feelings into different emotions if you just put your mind to it.

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8. You’ll be grateful.

Jealousy means you’re an ambitious person, and that’s good. If you envy what others have or accomplish, then you’ll always be striving for more. Count your lucky stars that you’re such a go-getter.

9. You’re human.

Jealousy is one of the most common emotions out there. While it might seem negative to some people, feeling jealous means that you’re connected to those around you and that you have the capacity to have strong emotional feelings about something. It’s completely natural to feel jealous, so use that to your advantage when you can, and remember that everyone feels envy at some point too.

Featured photo credit: Reach Out/stuartpilbrow via flickr.com

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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