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Have Mindful Conversation in 9 Easy Steps

Have Mindful Conversation in 9 Easy Steps

Connection.

You want it. You need it. You have to have it.

In today’s high-information and digitized world, finding meaningful, personal connection through the noise is challenging. It requires focus, intention, and above all, mindful conversation with those around you.

This is how you can get back to that connection you crave through your interaction with others:

1. Turn off all media devices.

Yes. That includes your phone, computer, tablet, or whatever it is you don’t think you can put away. You can.

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If you want mindful conversation, eliminate the temptation of looking at any of these things for even a millisecond. By ridding yourself of distractions, you clear your attention for meaningful interaction with another. This temporary sacrifice will be worth the connection you are preparing yourself to experience.

2. Listen using your eyes.

Look the other person in the eyes. Remember to blink. And, for goodness sake, don’t stare!

A person’s eyes tell you what is happening in their heart. Your awareness that your conversation partner might be feeling certain emotions allows you to adjust your communication appropriately. To do this, however, you must make eye contact which requires you to have your eyes open.

Having open eyes also will allow you to observe the other person’s posture and gestures. These movements can indicate an emotional wall (crossed arms or legs), a desire to leave or disengage (fidgeting), an inclination to say something (by an opening mouth or a hand that is raised), and many other things.

By not watching for these cues, you might miss an opportunity to dig more deeply into the psyche of the other. You might also deprive your partner of the chance to feel fully heard. This lack of expression will rob you both of the connection you seek.

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3. Listen to the tone of the other person’s voice.

Some individuals are able to put on a happy face even when things aren’t going so well for them. A skilled communicator can detect what is bubbling below the surface not only by observing non-verbal cues, but also by listening to changes in the tone of the other person’s voice. These tonal changes could belie the words the other individual is sharing which, in turn, allow the conversation partner to respond to what is really being said and felt.

4. Say “no” to thoughts that have nothing to do with the conversation you are having.

To have a mindful conversation with someone else, you must control your wandering mind–not let it control you. This will involve practice. It will involve re-training your brain.

This is how you do it: each time you find your mind wandering while you are talking with the other person, (mentally) just say “no.” Bring yourself back to the present moment. Focus on the words that are being said.

5. Attempt to truly understand what the other person is saying without judgment, criticism, or defensiveness.

In the event you are involved in a conversation in which the other person says something that offends you, before going off the rails, clarify. Make sure you actually heard what the other person meant to say (or vice versa). If, in fact, the person did say something which hurt you, don’t react immediately. Attempt to understand the true motivation behind the statement.

6. Be aware of how external conditions impact the complexity of your interaction.

Culture, sex, and geographic location affect how individuals interact with one another. A person’s mood will also affect how they approach and receive communication. On top of that, outside circumstances (such as environment) will allow for a clear, uninterrupted exchange… or not.

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Just as a tennis player must adjust his or her style based upon the other person’s approach, the composition of the tennis court, and the weather, you should do the same each time you seek to have a mindful conversation with someone else.

7. Respond vs. react.

When you react without forethought, you are jumping to conclusions. When you are jumping to conclusions, you are not really listening to what is being said by the other person. When you aren’t listening to what is being said, you aren’t having a mindful conversation.

When someone makes a statement you would normally be inclined to react to, do this:

Listen. Take a breath. Respond.

8. Make your conversation other-focused.

During many conversations, rather than listening to what the other person is saying, people are more concerned with what they are going to say next. The individual who can’t wait for the other person to stop talking so they can start isn’t focused on the other. When your communication becomes other-focused, you really are trying to understand what your partner is communicating.

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This is called listening. Listening helps create mindful conversation. Listening leads to the deepest sort of connection we all seek.

9. Immerse yourself in every word that is spoken and each feeling that arises.

If you would like mindful communication, bathe in the words as they are revealed. Allow yourself to drown in the emotions that are unveiled. Fully express yourself without self-censorship or fear of judgment. Immerse yourself in every instant as it is happening.

As you heighten your awareness during every conversation, every conversation will be elevated to a new level. It will become mindful. It will become mind-blowing.

You will want it. You will need it. You will have to have it.

Each and every single day.

Featured photo credit: Two heads of people with mechanisms via Big Stock Photo

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Last Updated on December 2, 2018

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

When giving a presentation or speech, you have to engage your audience effectively in order to truly get your point across. Unlike a written editorial or newsletter, your speech is fleeting; once you’ve said everything you set out to say, you don’t get a second chance to have your voice heard in that specific arena.

You need to make sure your audience hangs on to every word you say, from your introduction to your wrap-up. You can do so by:

1. Connecting them with each other

Picture your typical rock concert. What’s the first thing the singer says to the crowd after jumping out on stage? “Hello (insert city name here)!” Just acknowledging that he’s coherent enough to know where he is is enough for the audience to go wild and get into the show.

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It makes each individual feel as if they’re a part of something bigger. The same goes for any public speaking event. When an audience hears, “You’re all here because you care deeply about wildlife preservation,” it gives them a sense that they’re not just there to listen, but they’re there to connect with the like-minded people all around them.

2. Connect with their emotions

Speakers always try to get their audience emotionally involved in whatever topic they’re discussing. There are a variety of ways in which to do this, such as using statistics, stories, pictures or videos that really show the importance of the topic at hand.

For example, showing pictures of the aftermath of an accident related to drunk driving will certainly send a specific message to an audience of teenagers and young adults. While doing so might be emotionally nerve-racking to the crowd, it may be necessary to get your point across and engage them fully.

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3. Keep going back to the beginning

Revisit your theme throughout your presentation. Although you should give your audience the credit they deserve and know that they can follow along, linking back to your initial thesis can act as a subconscious reminder of why what you’re currently telling them is important.

On the other hand, if you simply mention your theme or the point of your speech at the beginning and never mention it again, it gives your audience the impression that it’s not really that important.

4. Link to your audience’s motivation

After you’ve acknowledged your audience’s common interests in being present, discuss their motivation for being there. Be specific. Using the previous example, if your audience clearly cares about wildlife preservation, discuss what can be done to help save endangered species’ from extinction.

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Don’t just give them cold, hard facts; use the facts to make a point that they can use to better themselves or the world in some way.

5. Entertain them

While not all speeches or presentations are meant to be entertaining in a comedic way, audiences will become thoroughly engaged in anecdotes that relate to the overall theme of the speech. We discussed appealing to emotions, and that’s exactly what a speaker sets out to do when he tells a story from his past or that of a well-known historical figure.

Speakers usually tell more than one story in order to show that the first one they told isn’t simply an anomaly, and that whatever outcome they’re attempting to prove will consistently reoccur, given certain circumstances.

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6. Appeal to loyalty

Just like the musician mentioning the town he’s playing in will get the audience ready to rock, speakers need to appeal to their audience’s loyalty to their country, company, product or cause. Show them how important it is that they’re present and listening to your speech by making your words hit home to each individual.

In doing so, the members of your audience will feel as if you’re speaking directly to them while you’re addressing the entire crowd.

7. Tell them the benefits of the presentation

Early on in your presentation, you should tell your audience exactly what they’ll learn, and exactly how they’ll learn it. Don’t expect them to listen if they don’t have clear-cut information to listen for. On the other hand, if they know what to listen for, they’ll be more apt to stay engaged throughout your entire presentation so they don’t miss anything.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm4.staticflickr.com

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