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9 Things All Great Relationships Have In Common

9 Things All Great Relationships Have In Common

Want to know if your relationship is a great one? Check out the top features which all great relationships have in common.

1. You feel loved

This is the lifebelt of your relationship. This fact alone will stand the test of time, disasters, ups and downs and everything else that destiny throws at you. You feel serene and comfortable and there is no pressure on either of you to change.

You are both happy with your body image, while trying to live a healthy lifestyle. You feel totally accepted. The shocking fact is that 80% of women in the US are dissatisfied with their physical appearance and are increasingly at risk for eating disorders.  Figures for men are generally at around 45%.

“I’m imperfect, you’re imperfect and that’s perfect.” – Anon  

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2. You make a great team

“You don’t develop courage by being happy in your relationships every day. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity’.” – Epicurus

The real challenge comes when you have to face financial ruin, a serious illness or a tricky career move. Getting through difficult times by mutually supporting each other can be tough and heartbreaking. You both already learned that compromising on finances and career will make things easier. You know that you are self-confident as individuals but as a team, you rock!

3. You give honest, loving and constructive feedback

When there are moments of criticism or negativity, you are both able to give honest feedback. The mark of a truly great relationship is that you can do this constructively.

Here are some tricks you use:

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  • Ask to talk about it: ‘Is this a good time to talk about our redecoration project?’
  • Empathize: ‘I knew you were having problems with that.’
  • Praise: ‘You did a great job there.’
  • Criticize less – learn to let minor things go.
  • Keep it brief.

You avoid using the following phrases like the plague:

  • ‘The trouble with you is…’
  • ‘How many times have I told you…’
  • ‘You never listen.’
  • ‘We never talk about these things.’
  • ‘You’re so cheap – I just cannot understand why you did not tip the waiter.’

 Constructive feedback is like the rain and sunshine on a plant, helping you both grow in love.

4. You organize date nights

Yes, you are still dating your partner and it is truly something to look forward to. Organizing a dinner out, cinema or whatever reminds you of when you were dating each other is one of the best ways to keep a relationship alive and flourishing.

5. You allow each other space to grow

Any great relationship allows each partner to grow as a person and pursue career and hobbies, without having to be there all the time. No great relationship thrives when one partner is clingy, overdependent or too bossy.

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“Basically my wife was immature. I’d be at home in the bath and she’d come in and sink my boats’.” – Woody Allen

6. You always do one activity together

Leaving each other space is essential, but it is equally important to start doing one activity together. When you are in a great relationship, you always do something together, whether it is running, shopping, yoga or a new hobby. The bonding that comes from this fun activity strengthens your commitment and affection.

7. You trust each other 100%

Jealousy and mistrust have never been an issue and you trust each other 100%. So much so, that the idea of checking each other’s emails or text messages has never been a possibility. Openness, reliability in keeping promises, and honesty are the pillars of your relationship and that is why you completely trust each other. It is when these are eroded when relationships start to crumble.

8. You are both feminists

Men who support feminist issues are much more open about their partner’s career goals. The fact is that women appreciate the support. Women who are feminists are more relaxed about taking the initiative in sex. Read about the fascinating research done by the Rutgers University in New Jersey.

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9. You know when to switch off your phone

You are attached to each other and not to your cell phones, Twitter or Facebook. You know when to switch off and spend prime time with each other. You cannot make love to a screen. Research done on 100,000 people by OkCupid.com, showed that the keen tweeters were less likely to have a long relationship.

When you are in a great relationship, you arrive home and you switch off your phone before you come in. Then you greet your partner and start getting attached to him or her. Of course you do that, don’t you?

Featured photo credit: Happy couple/knittymarie via Flickr.com

More by this author

Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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Last Updated on November 4, 2020

15 Simple Ways To Make Self Improvement That Will Change Your Life

15 Simple Ways To Make Self Improvement That Will Change Your Life

Self-improvement doesn’t have to be big mind-blowing changes; it can actually be simple steps to improve upon what you already have to get you where you want to be.  However, what you will need is consistency, determination and wiliness to try some things that will stretch and challenge you.

Rather than setting your sights way off into the future, which leaves you feeling like you’ll never make it, you can start following these simple and effective self-improvement steps today.  So if you want to make an immediate impact on your life and are willing to take action, then keep reading— you’ll going to love these!

1. Be willing to work hard.

As with anything in life, if you want something, you’ve got to work hard to get it.  This doesn’t mean you burn the candle at both ends, leaving you exhausted and leaving your personal life in ruins.  It merely means that when you want something badly enough, you’ll put in the time to get there.  Action is what’s important here and the more ‘inspired’ the action is, the better the results in the end.

2. Make sure you have friends who you can talk to.

Sharing the load is important as with any self-improvement. If you can communicate with others and get feedback on how you are doing then that’s great.  We all need ‘cheerleaders’ in our corner to keep us going when times get hard, but you also need to have people who will tell you how it is even when you don’t want to hear it.  So make sure you have a good support network around you, especially those people whose opinions you respect.

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3. Adapt to your circumstances rather than over-thinking them.

Sometimes, we can hit a hard period. Perhaps you’ve lost your job or your partner has left you.  Instead of over analyzing the situation, learn to adapt to your circumstances and accept them as they are.  It’s not about making your circumstances into some kind of a drama; remember, what you focus on expands which means you’ll get more of it.  You then don’t become your problems and you’ll feel a lot less burdened by them.

4. Ensure that you use your time wisely.

Time is of the essence, some might say; whilst others will say that time is an illusion.  One thing we do know is that you have one life on this planet, so how you use that time is of the utmost importance.  So how can you use your time wisely? Only you know how to do that, but look at how you currently spend your days: do you sit working all day, get home, eat and then sit slumped in front of the TV for the rest of the evening?  Your time on this earth is precious, so isn’t it time to make use of the time you have left? Try something new, go for a walk, learn a new language or meditate but make sure it’s something you absolutely love.

5. Always be consistent.

A wonderful way to self-improvement is to make changes to how you do things.  For example, with your friends, are you always the unreliable one who bows out of an arrangement just before it happens? Or are you someone who starts a new exercise routine and then stops doing it 3 weeks into it?  Whatever it is and whatever you do, always be consistent. When you make a commitment, stick to it. It will improve your life immeasurably you’ll feel more confident and happier with yourself, especially because you’ll know that whatever you tackle, you’ll be able to consistently do it!

6. Go and find your happy place.

No, I’m not saying “place” as in popping to your local bar or restaurant and gorging yourself on your favorite drinks or food. What I’m saying is to find out what you love to do, what makes you happy and go there.  Your happy place is a place where you find peace, where you lose yourself and feel contented.  Meditation is a great way to find your happy place; it brings you back to you and ensures that you are always living in the present moment.

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7. Make sure you embrace all your emotions.

In life you are going to find that it throws you some difficult challenges, sometimes it will bring out your fears and lead you into uncertainty, and other times it will be joyful.  It’s important to embrace all emotions that come up in your life, embrace them wholeheartedly and understand why they are there and then let them go.  Try not to dismiss or resist them because remember “what you resist, persists,” so embrace them each and every time.

8. Always be prepared to step out of your comfort zone.

The idea of stepping out of your comfort zone for some people can leave you paralyzed with fear; however for any changing in your life, your comfort zone will always have to be stepped out of.  It doesn’t have to be something big, like doing a sky-dive or something just as crazy. However, it’s worthwhile to change something that you’d once have feared, like going to the cinema on your own or eating at a sushi restaurant when the thought of trying raw fish which would normally mean you running for the hills.

So try something new—it doesn’t have to be wacky, but it has to challenge you!

9. Be on hand to help others.

Whether it’s helping a stranger on the street or a family member or a friend helping someone else either in their time of need, lending a helping hand is a wonderful and simple self-improvement to make.  Giving to others is not only beneficial to those you are helping but also to yourself; it can give you a sense of purpose, of contribution and also takes your mind of your own troubles and worries.

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10. Live in the present moment.

A wonderful self-improvement tool is to live in the present moment, to live in the now.  It is within this moment that you’ll appreciate all that you have and see the beauty in the simplest of things.  Being mindful of your current circumstances and bringing your mind back to where it belongs will bring about a happier way of life instead of constant worry or stressing about the past or future—both of which do not exist. Only the present moment exists. When you get used to living that way, you’ll never want to go back!

11. Learn something new.

There is nothing so liberating as learning something new; it can lift both your confidence and self-esteem and give you a great reason to meet new people.  If you continually top up your brain activity by learning something new all the time, you’ll feel on top of your game and want to share the knowledge you have learned. There is nothing quite so empowering as learning a new tool in life that can either improve your circle of friends or raise confidence levels—or both!

Reading is also a great way to help you learn something new:

12. Exercise daily.

This seems an obvious one, but exercise is so important not only to your health but also to your spirit.  We all know that after exercise, the world can feel a brighter and more positive place, so why don’t we do it more often?  Exercise isn’t about getting the perfect body or losing weight; it’s more about feeling good inside and out!  With a healthy body comes a healthy mind—so start something today. Even if it’s just a daily walk, it’s better than staying on that couch, again.

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13. Go to new places, travel a bit.

I’m not saying go fly off to some far away distant forgotten land—although you can if you so wish. It’s more about going to new places and experiencing life outside of your own back yard.  Too many of us stay in one place too often. We only see the same people, the same streets and do the same things each and every day.  If you want to improve your life, get out there and see the world and what it can offer.  You can start by going to a town or city you’ve never been to in your own country and checking out the architecture, the landscapes and the people.  Anything new is good, so get out there!

14. Listen to uplifting music and dance.

If there’s one thing that can really improve your life and get you excited about it, it’s listening to great uplifting music and dancing.  When was the last time you really let go?  Let it all hang loose and got into a piece of music and let yourself go?  Dancing, like exercise, makes you feel great. It releases all kinds of emotions and can make you feel unbelievably good.  Self-improvement isn’t all about the serious stuff; it can be something as simple as finding new music, music that inspires you and makes you dance and have fun!

15. Get up earlier than normal.

This is the last one, and it’s last because it’s one of those self-improvement tips that we all know is a good thing, yet we seem to avoid it at all costs!  If you think about it, the earliest part of the day is when your brain is most active because it’s been turned off for the last 7 hours or so.  So don’t you think it’s best to get all those things above done in the morning?  Things like exercise, meditation and dancing, which can all be done in the first part of the day.  Take it from me: this early morning stuff can really get your day started with a bang!

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Featured photo credit: Laura Chouette via unsplash.com

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